Yearbook signing time!

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Well, its that time of the year again! All over the country, millions of school kids will be carrying their class yearbooks around with them to get other kids to write memorable snippets of wisdom in it for all posterity. Some students will attempt to be witty, charming, romantic, or even nostalgic about the times they had spent together in the school year, and others will even express feelings of hope about what may lie ahead in life for them. Most will abuse the words "cool" "dude" "awesome" and "nice" by using them over and over again.

And every person's yearbook will hold such fond memories later in life as that person looks at it and recalls the events and friends that had shaped so much of their childhood and adult life. The yearbook becomes a thing of valued treasure to each and every individual that owns one.

HA!!! I say screw all that! The yearbook-signing event presents one of the most unique opportunities in life to exact revenge on as many people as you can in such a short time! Deprive everyone you can of the fond memories of a happy High School life by defacing their yearbooks!

Who would want revenge at such a time? Why anyone would! If you are a nerd (yes, you know who you are out there!), a person that just doesn't get the opportunity in the social settings of High School to fit in; if you are a jilted teen lover; if you resent the jerk captain of the football team, hate the prom queen; if you are in the woodwinds section of the band and hate the brass section; if you just have a downright mean streak in you, then you have come to the right place!

I know some of you out there are jumping up and down in their seats wondering just how you could use this opportunity to exact a little bit of revenge. Well here it is!

The following is a list of mean things to write or do to someone else’s yearbook. The intent is to ruin forever the nostalgia they feel when looking at a high school yearbook, and to indelibly imprint upon their brains how it was YOU that deprived them of this. What better way to be remembered?

Warning: Many of the items here can present situations in which you could get your ass kicked! Use with caution!

But first, you must assemble your vengeance kit. The yearbook signing vengeance kit includes:

Uses for tools:

Glue can be a very useful vengeance tool during yearbook signing. Among its uses:

Permanent Sanford SharpeeŽ indelible permanent ink pens are useful too. Remember, bold dark color stands out! Some uses:

An X-acto knife is a modeling tool or edging tool with a razor edge. A box cutter will do too. Its uses: (See Belch.Com's warning below)

A common ink pen can also be used for yearbook vengeance. Uses:

A Pencil. What good is a pencil you might ask?

An Eraser. (Rubber to you Brits) Uses:

Crayola CrayonsA yellow crayon is a good annoyance form of yearbook vengeance.

A magnifying glass may be the ultimate in yearbook vengeance. Admittedly, you need time alone with the book outside in the sunlight.

Sometimes its simply what you say instead of how you say it. Your goal is to make it too embarrassing for the person to show the yearbook to anyone else. For example:

It makes me giggle, it makes me laugh
That you would want my autograph!
But that's okay, I think its fine,
here (your signature),
That'll be $9.99

If you are able to perform these bits of vengeance, you will indeed be the person the signees remember most, which is what a yearbook is all about, right? And remember, friends come and go, but enemies last forever.

And finally, don't make any plans to attend your High School reunions. They WILL remember you!

Belch.Com's legal warning and disclaimer:
editors of Belch.Com do not condone school violence or the transportation of knives, weapons, firearms, explosives, X-acto knives or box cutters to school. But we DO condone lots of other crude stuff like fake fire drills, college hazing, belching, barfing, and the use of the information superhighway to "bring a belch to every desktop."

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