I squee’d when I saw this commercial for the new Bud Light Platinum. Not because of the new look, but because I already know how fantastic that beer is going to taste. So thanks, Anheuser-Busch. WTF took so long??

And if you go to MarryBacon.Com you can also make a bacon baby. Here is a sample I created with a photo I had saved of some crazy dude.

You can figure out how to do these at Instructables here.

Ingredients are:

To make an alien brain hemorrhage cocktail, fill a shot glass halfway with peach schnapps. Gently pour Bailey’s Irish Cream on top. After the shot is almost full, carefully add a small amount of blue curacao. After it settles, add a few drops of grenadine syrup.

Who needs hospitalization for internal bleeding? Yeah, this guy.

And Buzzfeed provided an awesome animated gif.

see more Ugliest Tattoos

American Fat Ass in a Can, a photo by BelchSpeak on Flickr.

America runs on Gravy. Americans can get about 9 American Idol episodes per can of this high intensity fuel.

Go there to read the rest:

The Drinkers Dictionary will come in handy. The lengthy list of expressions meaning “inebriated” was first published by Franklin in the Pennsylvania Gazette on January 6, 1737.

A
He is Addled,
He’s casting up his Accounts,
He’s Afflicted,
He’s in his Airs.

B
He’s Biggy,
Bewitch’d,
Block and Block,
Boozy,
Bowz’d,
Been at Barbadoes,
Piss’d in the Brook,
Drunk as a Wheel-Barrow,
Burdock’d,
Buskey,
Buzzey,
Has Stole a Manchet out of the Brewer’s Basket,
His Head is full of Bees,
Has been in the Bibbing Plot,
Has drank more than he has bled,
He’s Bungey,
As Drunk as a Beggar,
He sees the Bears,
He’s kiss’d black Betty,
He’s had a Thump over the Head with Sampson’s Jawbone,
He’s Bridgey.

C
He’s Cat,
Cagrin’d,
Capable,
Cramp’d,
Cherubimical,
Cherry Merry,
Wamble Crop’d,
Crack’d,
Concern’d,
Half Way to Concord,
Has taken a Chirriping-Glass,
Got Corns in his Head,
A Cup to much,
Coguy,
Copey,
He’s heat his Copper,
He’s Crocus,
Catch’d,
He cuts his Capers,
He’s been in the Cellar,
He’s in his Cups,
Non Compos,
Cock’d,
Curv’d,
Cut,
Chipper,
Chickery,
Loaded his Cart,
He’s been too free with the Creature,
Sir Richard has taken off his Considering Cap,
He’s Chap-fallen,

Ben spent quite a bit of time in local pubs it seems.

From WTOP here:

The founder of the Cracker Barrel Old Country Store chain, Dan Evins, has died at 76.

Evins opened his first restaurant in Lebanon, Tenn., in 1969. The restaurant catered to highway travelers and focused on offering Southern hospitality, country-style cooking and an associated gift shop that came to define the chain.

He fashioned the restaurant after the country stores of his youth in rural Tennessee and used a number of family recipes. The restaurant was named after the practice of customers gathering at country stores to share news and play checkers on top of an empty barrel that had been used to deliver crackers to the store.

Evins helped build the chain into a national brand as CEO from 1969 to 2001 and chairman until he retired in 2004. Cracker Barrel Old Country Store Inc., headquartered in Lebanon, Tenn., now operates more than 600 restaurants in 42 states.

So long, Danny and thanks for all the gravy.

And he won’t let a woman get all uppity either.

Full details over at my blog site, BelchSpeak.

From Flay’s Twitpic stream: