Definition of Belch

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Definition as appears in Webster's:

Pronunciation: 'belch
Function: verb
Etymology: Middle English, from Old English bealcan
Date: before 12th century
intransitive senses
1 : to expel gas suddenly from the stomach through the mouth
2 : to erupt, explode, or detonate violently
3 : to issue forth spasmodically : gush
transitive senses
1 : to eject or emit violently
2 : to expel (gas) from the stomach suddenly : eruct
- belch noun

Some European birds and other animals can produce a voice in which air is actively aspirated into the esophagus and then eructated (belched), as many people can do without practice. The sound generator is formed by the upper esophageal sphincter (the cricopharyngeus muscle in man).

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Introducing a brand new concept in poetry! Burp-ku! Burp-ku is a cross between a japanese poem, "haiku" and of course, burps! The burp-ku is free form, three line poetry. Its content is about belching, and the first line has five syllables, second line seven syllables, and the final line five syllables. Below are some examples by Yours Truly.

Burping, belching noise.
Keep tasting the stinging bile.
Too much sauerkraut.

Pastor's silent prayer.
Heads bowed, people giving thanks.
Bad time for loud burps.

Godzilla rampage.
Eats contents of whole school bus!
Burps taste like chicken.

Submitted by Alice McKinney
Koala in tree
Sweetly belches, with a smile
Eucalyptus scent

Submitted by Alice McKinney
At the Vatican
Red robed man emits loud belch
Oops, Cardinal Sins!

Submitted by Alice McKinney
Carnivore am I
Meat meet meat, gastric distress
Belch burp belch, or mess.

Submitted by Tom Bramwell
Seven deadly sins...
You can keep them all except
For gluttony. -Berf-

Submitted by Alice McKinney
Salsa wars within
Gut afire with need, EXPLODE
Woe to bystanders

Submitted by Marty Busch
I held a burp in.
Something went completely wrong.
Brown-stained underpants.

Submitted by Beth MacLagan
I must tell you this.
Just how much I really care.
Burp belch grrrrrrup gack ack.

Submitted by Justin Kupanoff
The stench I love it
The belching I enjoy it
The sound is delight

Submitted by Sandra Karkau
Loud, earth-shattering
Gastrointestinal noise
The great, mighty burp

Submitted by Wendy Mellanby
A gassy feeling
Can't hold it in. Gotta burp.
If not - flatulence!

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Discussion and ramblings from the Website Author:

• Do you think it is an accident that the word Belch derives from the Old English BEALCAN? This word, if spoken in a thick Scottish Brogue, would sound just like "Beercan." So of course it makes sense that beer cans may induce belching.

• Ever think about it? What is the very first thing a baby "learns" to do that isn't already instinct? Why belching of course! It's instinct to suckle, its instinct to poop and pee, and it's instinct to cry and to breathe. But it's the mother that teaches a baby to burp by patting it on the back. Hmmmm...

• People email me and ask, "What is the best time to belch?" My answer of course, is "When you feel it coming up, silly." But I think they mean, "What is the best occasion to belch?" Well, the answer to this really depends on the social situation.
  Belching is fun alone only if it involves practicing for volume, texture or duration. The rest of the time, belching must be shared with others. Ask yourself this: "If you were alone in a bar and burped, and no one was around to hear you, did you really make noise?" I say no. Thus, belching should always be performed in front of others, for it is really the audience to whom you are performing.
  
  Below are some tips to assist you in sharing your belches with others.

1. First, always be prepared. This means drinking lots of highly carbonated beverages. You never know when a social occasion will require your unique input to bring a poignant statement to the topic at hand.

2. If possible, wait until someone asks you a direct question before cutting loose with a loud report. Point at the person casually as you rumble your response.

3. If you are truly gifted to the point of being able to form words with your belches, by all means do so. Vulgarities such as "Eat Me" or "Up Yours" in belch speak can instantly end a boring conversation.

4. Place your finger deeply in your mouth as you belch. Examine the moist tip of your finger afterwards. Ask if others would like to sniff it. If not, see if you can wipe it on their suit jacket. Watch them dive out of the way.

5. If you are not skilled at a loud or a long belch, you may wish to try the patented Belch and Blow™ technique perfected by readers of Belch.com. This involves a quieter, closed mouth belch, followed by the casual blow in the direction of an audience member, much like exhaling cigar smoke, with a tight lipped "o" shape of the mouth. This works best after consuming large quantities of salami, onions, garlic or even roadkill. Remember, its not a belch unless its shared. Deaf people should enjoy them too!

6. Captive audiences are great for sharing your belches. This would include elevators, corporate meetings or selling Amway.

Of course, the main biological purpose of belching is to evict air and gas from the digestive system before it has the chance to move painfully through the intestines. However, sometimes a belch can go bad due to being drunk or sick. Wanna see what I mean? Click here. But be warned, this is not for children or those with a weak constitution.

 

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