I can't believe that came from your mouth!
Posts tagged snow
X Games Crash: Colton Moore Bites It
Jan 26th
I saw this while I was out tonight at (shocker!) a pub with friends. I’m gonna watch the reruns later on ESPN 3D.
Reminds me of Jake Brown biting it on the skateboard.
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Loading ...This Snowy Stuff is Tough on Idiots
Dec 28th
Lulzy news from the Onion about this wonderful global warming afflicting the nation:
Snowy Conditions Proving Hazardous For Nation’s Idiots
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Governor Paterson Helps Tow Stranded FrontLoader
Dec 28th
Governor Paterson helps out in New York City by towing a stranded front loader. Sure he scrapes up a Ford Explorer pretty badly, but its hard to drive a tow truck correctly when you are as googley-eyed as he is.
Yeah, I know, you are saying, “Pat, the man is blind, how can you make fun of him like that?” To which I say, its easy, and its not like he’s going to be able to read this now is he?
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Prancer Didn’t Make It
Dec 20th
There is a county park in Britain that is full of deer. For years parents have been bringing their kids to the park to see Santa’s Reindeer, where they live prior to their pickup on the big night of Christmas Eve. Lots of kids were traumatized when they saw icy corpses of deer sticking up through the ice as many of them drowned trying to walk across the recently frozen lake.
From the DailyMail here:
Children who visited a country park in the hope of seeing Father Christmas’ reindeer were left horrified when they saw several animals that had fallen through thin ice and drowned.
Visitors to Whitworth Hall Country Park, in County Durham, were greeted by the gruesome sight after at least eight deer and stags died during the big freeze.
Hoof marks could still be seen on the ice leading to where the deer broke through into the freezing lake.
‘We came especially to see the deer because the kids think this is where Santa’s reindeer live during the year before he comes to collect them for Christmas Eve.
I thought the world was getting too warm according to all those leftists out there? You mean that cold weather kills animals? Oh. My. God.
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How ‘Bout That Global Warming, Britain?
Dec 9th
You don’t hear too much talk about global warming anymore. I wonder why? As Britain faces its worst wintry December in a century, all those Global Warmin’ fanatics are strangely silent. I think they are hoping the rest of us will forget their support for a global economic takeover based on lies that the planet is warming. Anyways, to illustrate just how poorly Britain is prepared for snow, they do not have snow removal paid by the government. So they send out their soldiers with entrenching tools- not a real snow shovel.
Those spades only make it back breaking on the soldier and you can’t scrape the street surfaces with that thing. They may be smiling as they walk away from their job, but they left the road underfoot as a solid sheet of ice. Hope no one tries to drive on that.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Shoveling Snow
Feb 8th
My back hurts. I’ve been shoveling snow for three days. We had 30+ inches of snow Friday and Saturday. My wife’s grandmother’s condo finally had their roads plowed this morning and I was invited over to take part in a giant snow shovel party as all of the residents attempted to dig out their cars.
I had already spent Saturday evening and most of Sunday digging out my own vehicles and clearing my driveway. My back hates me right now. And we are getting almost 2 more feet tomorrow.
But as a pro-tip did you know you can keep snow from sticking to your snow shovel by spraying PAM non-stick spray on it? This snow was extra sticky, and every shovel full left about 2 pounds of snow sticking to the blade. This put extra stress on my back and was really slowing down the progress. Ten minutes of that and I thought of trying the no-stick spray.
It turns out that this is a known secret of many people who live further north, but we Southerners don’t get enough of this white stuff (until this year) to need this information. I shared this new-found knowledge with a couple of friends who cursed me for not sharing it earlier. Maybe they can give it a try tomorrow.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...The UK Looks Like Greenland From Space
Jan 11th
Even with photographic evidence showing that the planet is getting colder, moonbats still insist that Global Warming is real.
Robb sent me this article from the Dailymail that actually claims that another mini-ice age is due. And while this prediction seems about as plausible to me as other predictions made by climatologists, (not likely) I do know that its way past frigid outside. But those moonbats are true believers.
In March 2000, Dr David Viner, then a member of the University of East Anglia Climatic Research Unit, the body now being investigated over the notorious ‘Warmergate’ leaked emails, said that within a few years snowfall would become ‘a very rare and exciting event’ in Britain, and that ‘children just aren’t going to know what snow is’.
Now the head of a British Council programme with an annual £10 million budget that raises awareness of global warming among young people abroad, Dr Viner last week said he still stood by that prediction: ‘We’ve had three weeks of relatively cold weather, and that doesn’t change anything.
‘This winter is just a little cooler than average, and I still think that snow will become an increasingly rare event.’
Someone give this stupid nerd the flying wedgie he deserves and leave him hanging from a hook in the locker room. Please?
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(2 votes, average: 4.50 out of 6) Loading ...Knee Deep in Global Warming
Mar 2nd
I had to work from home today due to a large snowfall that blanketed the roads. My son helped me shovel the driveway and brush the snow from the car. He was bundled up so much that he often toppled over in the deep snow.
In other news, Professional Alarmist and NASA employee James Hansen urged people to protest at a Washington DC power plant today, calling the plant a “factory of death,” which I guess is what the Nazi’s used on the Jews in World War 2. How many coal-plants were used to exterminate 6 million jews? I forget. I think they only used one or two, because those coal-fired power plants are going to destroy the planet dontchaknow.
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(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...Snowzilla Makes Anchorage Mayor Cranky
Dec 24th
Billy Powers has been building gigantic snowmen in his front yard for the past few years. But the neighbors and the city council wishes Billy would stop doing it. In fact, the mayor of Anchorage Alaska even issued Billy a cease and desist order. But despite the best efforts of local government and law enforcement, the giant snowman appeared there anyways. And Billy Powers claims its a Christmas miracle.
From the AP here:
A giant snowman named Snowzilla has mysteriously appeared again this year — despite the city’s cease-and-desist order.
Someone again built the giant snowman in Billy Powers’ front yard in an east Anchorage neighborhood. Snowzilla reappeared before dawn Tuesday.
Powers is not taking credit. When questioned Tuesday afternoon, he insisted Snowzilla just somehow happened, again.
For the last three years, Snowzilla — to the delight of some and the chagrin of others — has been a very large feature in Powers’ yard. In 2005, Snowzilla rose 16 feet. He had a corncob pipe and a carrot nose and two eyes made out of beer bottles.
This year, Snowzilla is estimated to be 25 feet tall. He’s wearing a black stovepipe hat and scarf.
City officials this year deemed Snowzilla a public nuisance and safety hazard. A cease-and-desist order was issued. The city tacked a public notice on Powers’ door.
City officials said the structure increased traffic to the point of endangerment and that the snowman itself was unsafe.
I think it looks like harmless fun and the town council should take a chill pill. If you want to help Billy fight the snow misers you can donate to his defense fund at Snowzilla.org.
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(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...Cold Enough Yet? Your Tax Dollars Will Make it Colder
Dec 17th
Under the ludicrous fantasy of “Manmade Global Warming,” Democrats and eco-religionists tell us that they can control the weather. Its kinda like Storm from the X-Men, but instead of mutant powers, they control the weather only if everyone gives up their income and freedom in the form of higher taxes, “green jobs” programs and forced eco-rituals like changing lightbulbs. But here’s the real kick in the ass. Supposing these loons are telling everyone the truth, and they really can somehow control the weather, they want us to pay them to make it colder! I think they would get more votes and more believers if they promised to give everyone a tropical climate instead.
From the AP here:
Freezing air blanketed much of the nation Tuesday, making roads hazardous in Texas and slowing recovery from ice storm blackouts in New England, in the second day of a bitter cold wave.
Temperatures were 20 below zero and lower across the northern Plains, and a band of snow, freezing rain and sleet stretched from Kansas along the Ohio Valley to Maine.
Dozens of schools closed in Kentucky and Tennessee because of slippery roads and salt truck crews started working before dawn. Up to a half-foot of snow had fallen in parts of Kentucky.
Some of the sharpest cold Tuesday was in northern Minnesota, where Hibbing bottomed out at 32 below zero and International Falls dropped to 28 below. In the middle of the state, St. Cloud fell to 24 below, breaking its old record of 21 below set in 1963.
The weather service posted winter storm warnings Tuesday for parts of the Southwest — where New Mexico had numerous school closings, including those in Albuquerque — and the Ohio Valley.
What if the climate isn’t changing at all? Does that mean Al Gore and his followers are liars? Or can they really control the weather if they get their hands on enough of our money?
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Snow Miser Brings Snow to SouthTown. Heat Miser Busy Melting Polar IceCaps
Dec 11th
This is the kind of news that makes Al Gore cry. Snow surprised Houston. Its the first time it has snowed there this early since World War 2. Click on the music below to enjoy as you read the rest of the story.
Mr. Green Christmas. Mr. Heat Blister. Mr. Hundred and One.
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From the Houston Chronicle here:
The flurries tied a record for Houston’s earliest snowfall ever and warmed the hearts of winter weather lovers who have pined for snow since it last made an appearance on Christmas Eve 2004.
“I’ve got a pot roast in the Crock-Pot, and I’m going to go home, change into my warmest pajamas and eat pot roast and enjoy what may be the only real winter day we have all year,” said Tina Arnold, an Illinois native who took advantage of the wintry backdrop to pick up Christmas presents Wednesday at The Woodlands Mall.
Since 1895, records indicate, snow has fallen this early just once — on Dec. 10, 1944.
Mmmmm. Pot Roast. I need to stop blogging when I’m hungry. Where was I? Oh yeah! Global Warming my ass!
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(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...Global Warming Makes it Snow in Baghdad
Jan 11th
This is cool on several levels. First, cold weather like this chips away at the Global Warming hoax. Second, it makes the heads of young eco-religious zealots ache by forcing them to concoct some stupid scientific excuse why the cold weather was actually caused by Global Warming. And finally, it gave a great excuse for everyone in the city to go outside and rejoice at seeing something truly unique in their lifetimes.
An Iraqi couple enjoys a snow battle in a garden in Sulaimaniyah in 2007. Light snow fell in Baghdad in what weather officials said was the first time in about a 100 years.
From the AP here:
For the first time in memory, snow fell across Baghdad.
Although the white flakes quickly dissolved into gray puddles, they brought an emotion rarely expressed in this desert capital snarled by army checkpoints, divided by concrete walls and ravaged by sectarian killings — delight.
For a couple of hours anyway, a city where mortar shells routinely zoom across to the Green Zone became united as one big White Zone. As of late afternoon, there were no reports of violence. The snow showed no favoritism as it fell faintly on neighborhoods Shiite and Sunni alike.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...I Shall Be Telling This With a Sigh
Jan 2nd
Out of Control Underage House Parties sure can be fun.
From the AP here:
Whose woods these are I think I know,
Homer Noble Farm was ransacked last week during a party attended by as many as 50 people.
His house is in the village though.
The intruders broke a window to get into the two-story wood frame building — a furnished residence open in the summer — before destroying tables and chairs, pictures, windows, light fixtures, and dishes. Wicker furniture and dressers were smashed and thrown into a fireplace and burned, apparently to provide heat in the unheated building, he said.
He will not see me stopping here,
Empty beer bottles and cans, plastic cups, and cellophane apparently used to hold marijuana were also found. The vandals vomited in the living room and discharged two fire extinguishers inside the building.
To watch his woods fill up with snow.
No arrests have been made, Hodsden said, adding that they’ve tracked down some partygoers and believe they are minors.
So yeah, it was poet Robert Frost’s former home that he used during the summers in Vermont. Wow, some party. Here is a little poem for them:
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I–
I took the one everyone else traveled by,
And that has made not a damn bit of difference.
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