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Posts tagged madonna
Madonna’s Brother is a Troll Under a Bridge
Oct 24th
When Madonna is not spending her wealth on purchasing strap-on dildos so she can cornhole famous directors, or spending cash to keep that leather bag she calls a vagina pliable, she is spending her cash on anything other than helping her homeless older brother who currently dwells beneath a Michigan overpass.
From NBC here:
Madonna’s older brother is homeless and living under a bridge in Michigan, where he collects bottles and cans as he braces for the coming winter.
Anthony Ciccone, 55, said he’s been homeless for a year and a half since losing a job at his father’s vineyard and winery in Suttons Bay. He’s grown weary of people expressing amusement that someone with such a wealthy sister would sleep under the Union St. bridge.
“My family turned their back on me, basically, when I was having a hard time,” Ciccone told the Michigan Messenger. “You think I haven’t answered this kind of question a bazillion times — why my sister is a multibazillionarie, and I’m homeless on the street?”
I don’t blame Madonna for not helping out her brother, and besides, if you feed a homeless person, they just won’t learn any better. But she should at least finance his trip to either Miami or San Francisco where the homeless are abundant, yet warm.
And it is a little-known-fact that you become one step closer to the grand-poobah wizard of Kaballah by having a homeless brother who eats his meals out of a Starbucks trashcan.
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Loading ...Can’t Blame a Stone Brutha For Trying
Feb 11th
I took a long hike tonight because I got to the Atlanta airport a little early for my flight. So instead of taking the train between gates, I walked from the main terminal all the way to Terminal E, which I think, must be about 4 miles or something. I broke a sweat along the way and got to see some really stupid African Art.
This artist here is from Malawi, and rumor has it, he’s the real father of Madonna’s baby. Why they put his art sculptures in the center aisle of the Atlanta underground walkway between terminals, is anyone’s guess, but I’m thinking it was the closest place to a bunker they could drop these things after they flew in from God knows where.
I don’t know what the real title of this horrible piece of polished concrete is, but it is clear that the artist was sad that they human body just couldn’t bend that way. The stone face has a sad frustrated look.
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(1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 6) Loading ...Malawi Mighty Tasty Mice
Aug 10th
I saw this bizarre photo on Yahoo. Its a reminder that not all cultures are equal. In Malawi, where Madonna shops for babies, the farmers seem to be growing corn for the wrong purpose, if you go by what the caption of the AP photo says:
Cooked, salted or dried, field mice are strung on sticks and sold as a popular delicacy in Malawi in markets or at roadside stalls. The rodents are hunted in corn fields after the harvest when they have grown plump on a diet of grains, fruits, grass and insects. Malawi, with a population of 12 million, is among the poorest countries in the world, with rampant disease and hunger, aggravated by periodic droughts and crop failures.
“Popular delicacy” my ass. If these morons would keep the rats out of the corn and stop eating the diseased critters, perhaps they could grow some decent food and improve sanitation. The way the AP words it, this is “just how Malawi likes to roll.”
12 percent of this country’s population has HIV/AIDS and half of the population is aged 16 or younger. Just more proof that Africa is Hell on Earth.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Madonna Falls Off Horse; Gulls Laugh
Apr 19th
Madonna was horseback riding on the beach in the Hamptons. Supposedly a photographer spooked her horse and the Material Girl splatted right on the sandy beach.
From the AP here:
Madonna is under the care of doctors after falling off a horse over the weekend — an accident she is blaming on the paparazzi.
A representative for the superstar said Madonna suffered “minor injuries” after she fell while horseback riding in the Hamptons. The 50-year-old singer was treated at a Southampton hospital and released, and is being monitored by doctors.
This is not the first time Madonna has been injured riding a horse. She was thrown from a horse in England in the summer of 2005, cracking three ribs and breaking her collarbone and a hand in that accident.
Wow, Madonna really sucks at horseback riding. What was more shocking than the fall from the horse was that Madonna landed with her legs spread. Several large cackling gulls mistook her gaping vagina for a basket of Boardwalk French Fries and Madge suffered several pecks from the birds. A previous Madonna post is here.
Thanks to RightRant for the Madonna update!
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Expensive Old Leather Bag
Jan 6th
Here is a leathery worn old bag. And a Louis Vuitton Purse.
Best Week Ever says that it is the pure strength of Madonna’s vagina that is holding up this bag. Michelle Collins writes:
But seriously, her vagina looks like it could bench 400. Her vagina could easily fight Mickey Rourke in The Wrestler. Madonna’s vagina would beat Magnus von Magnuson in the World’s Strongest Man competition. Her vagina could dangle a piano over an animated city block. Her vagina could diffuse the giant liquid bomb in Die Hard with a Vengeance. When her vagina performs a single kegel, a nuke goes off in The Marshall Islands.
Wow, with strength like that, it kinda makes me feel sorry for the ex-Mr. Madonna Guy Ritchie who was photographed here buying a strap-on dildo with her. That post never fails to crack me up.
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(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...Madonna Divorcing Guy Ritchie
Jun 26th
Madonna is hiring Paul McCartney’s divorce lawyer to try to help her keep her own money in the upcoming divorce proceedings against Guy Ritchie. Guy Ritchie deserves at least half of her fortune for allowing Madonna to bang him with a strap on. But if he thought he was getting screwed before…
Guy Ritchie loves teh anal penetration.
From the TimesOnline here:
Fiona Shackleton, the divorce lawyer who ensured that Sir Paul McCartney retained all but £24.3 million of his £825 million fortune, has been lined up by the 49-year-old pop star, Madonna.
Madonna, whose fortune is estimated at £300 million, is understood to be seeking legal advice on a possible divorce from her husband of seven years, the film director Guy Ritchie.
There has been speculation for some time over the marriage of Madonna, 49, and Ritchie, 39, and it is believed that the pop star met Ms Shackleton in April for a preliminary meeting.
It is thought that the couple did not have a pre-nuptial agreement, which means that the starting point for any settlement would be a split of 50-50. A variety of factors such as the length of the marriage and the wealth brought to the marriage by Madonna, in particular, would then be taken into account.
Without a pre-nuptial agreement, Ritchie could be looking at as much as £50 million of Madonna’s £300 million fortune. Lately the star has been seen out without her wedding ring, fueling talk of a rift.
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