I can't believe that came from your mouth!
Posts tagged divorce
The Best Way to Break Up
Mar 6th
Ah, Jimmy. He really did know how to treat a woman. I saw the following tweet below by Jim Norton, and he’s absolutely right. All breakups should end like this. Some of mine did. No hair pulling mind you, but throwing her stuff out of the house- yeah it happened more than once with me. And yeah, I’m better now, thanks for asking.
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Sinead O’Connor Still Making Good Decisions
Dec 27th
The 45 year old failed lesbian singer Sinead O’Connor announced on her website that her marriage to a man has ended after 18 days, but in actuality, it ended 3 hours after the nuptials. Sinead apparently took her new groom on a wild ride to find some marijuana.
From her website here:
Within 3 hours of the ceremony being over the marriage was kyboshed by the behaviour of certain people in my husband’s life. And also by a bit of a wild ride i took us on looking for a bit of a smoke of weed for me wedding night as I don’t drink. My husband was enormously wounded and very badly effected by that experience and also by the attitude of those close to him toward our marriage. It became apparent to me that if he were to stay with me he would be losing too much to bear. And that being with me was not going to serve him positively , career wise or any other wise. I saw his life leave him because of how people close to him reacted. And I can’t take anyone’s life. And a woman wants to be a joy to her husband. So.. U love someone? Set them free.
Most people grow up and start making wiser decisions, but its clear that Sinead O’Connor is going to make a lifetime out of bad choices. Nothing compares to her failures.
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Cha-Ching!!! Mel Gibson Pays Out
Dec 26th
In a court ruling that makes every man’s nards shrivel, Mel Gibson has to pay his ex-wife 425 Million Dollars in a divorce settlement. He and his former wife and mother of his children split years ago after Mel was busted in an embarrassing DUI in which he berated the jews. Then Mel started to run around with a ball-breaking russian model who squeezed millions of dollars out of his miserable ass.
From the DailyRecord here:
Mel Gibson’s former wife has landed a $422million Christmas present – half his fortune as a divorce settlement. Mum-of-seven Robyn, who was married to Gibson for 31 years, did not sign a pre-nuptial agreement when they married in 1980.
She filed for divorce from Gibson in 2009 after pictures emerged of him relaxing on the beach at their Costa Rica holiday home with girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva. Oksana was pregnant with his child.
At the time Robyn filed for divorce, she and her husband had actually been separated for three years. The split dated back to Gibson’s arrest for drink-driving and the anti-Semitic tirade he launched at the sheriff’s deputy who stopped him.
Mel Gibson’s self destruction seems almost complete. He had the most epic mid-life crisis ever documented, and it seems he has nothing left to show for it but a bitter ex wife, an estranged ex-girlfriend and a kid he didn’t intend to have.
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(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...Longest Episode of Punk’d Finally Comes to an End
Sep 30th
According to our favorite Taiwanese Animators.
I love the cougar attack.
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Good News Ladies! Former Rep Anthony Weiner is Single Again!
Jul 1st
Not only that, he has a whole huge batch of Twitpics that are bursting to erupt onto the twittersphere in order to lure young ladies! Line up wenches, Weiner is on the loose!
From the NYPost here:
Anthony Weiner’s wife is taking time off from her senior job with the State Department — as well as time off from the randy former representative.
While Weiner, 46, heads to an “intensive” rehab program to recover from the sexting scandal that cost him his congressional career, his 35-year-old spouse, Huma Abedin, will be relaxing at an undisclosed location. “She is definitely taking time off away from her husband and chilling.
Chillin’ like a villain, eh Huma? Don’t you know you are supposed to eat a public shit sandwich like other Democrat wives and stand by your cheating man? Your boss Hillary did it, and you better too, if you want to earn the mantle of Democrat Martyrdom like Hillary did. Otherwise, turn in your progressive card.
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Reason 22 to HomeSchool: Aspiring Principal Won’t Bang Your 16 Year-Old in a Car
Feb 2nd
Meet Courtney Bowles. She used to teach at Mountain View High School in Loveland Colorado, and her specialty, if you can believe it, was instructing other educators about not having sex with their students.
The fact that you need to have a professional on staff to tell other adults that its wrong to stick your under-age students’ penises in your starving vagina is sad enough. Even sadder yet is that Courtney Bowles was caught riding the baloney pony of a child in the back seat of a car parked at night in a public park. With deep hypocrisy like this she must have a strict Democrat voting record.
From BadBadTeacher here:
Courtney Renee Bowles, 31, an instructional coach for Mountain View High School in Loveland, Colorado has been arrested for sexual assault of a juvenile male, sexual assault on a minor by a person in a position of trust, and contributing to the delinquency of a minor.
Bowles was discovered at approximately 10:40 p.m. when officers found Bowles and the boy in a vehicle at North Lake Park after the park closed at 10:30 pm.
Bowles was an instructional coach is a staff member who works with other staff members to improve their classroom instruction and how they interact with students.
The contributing to delinquency is because she also fed vodka and sprite to the child before molesting him.
And if you think she has only ruined the life of her victim (male underage sex assault victims have long term problems with drug and alcohol abuse and problems with relationships), she has also ruined the lives of her own family. As conditions of her bail, she is not allowed within 100 feet of any minor, including her own children. Here is a picture of her family before, we can hope, she became the huge child molesting whore she is today.
Teachers are portrayed as saints by the left in this country. Fact is they are lousy civil servants, and when teachers realize it they start preying on the children they are supposed to be protecting.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Al Gore Finally Gets to Listen to NWA and WASP Albums
Aug 2nd
Al Gore, back from having to deal with a new round of sexual assault allegations on a massage worker, allowed himself to unwind to a hard core album that Tipper never let him hear when they were still married.
From the Onion here:
Finally unhindered by his wife Tipper’s 25-year-long household ban on violent and sexually explicit music, former vice president Al Gore, 62, reportedly embraced his newfound independence this week by listening to the albums of the heavy metal band W.A.S.P.
“For the first time in decades, I get to play the kind of music I like without someone nagging me about what a bad influence it is,” said Gore, sitting on the floor of his living room as he cued up the song “Animal (Fuck Like A Beast)” on his stereo. “And I get to crank it up as loud as I want.”
Gore, who was prohibited from hearing music with graphic sex, violence, or drug references since Tipper founded the Parents Music Resource Center in 1985, confirmed yesterday that her crusade was “total bullcrap.”
And you just know his son is supplying him with some awesome weed to go along with his newfound love for the hard music. He would grow a mullet but he’s totally bald in back.
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KaChing!! Tiger Woods Pays Out in Divorce for 3/4 Billion Dollars
Jun 30th
750 Million dollars is going to Elin Woods because Tiger was a whorebag. Government social programs often don’t cost as much as this.
From theSun here:
TIGER WOODS is banned from letting girlfriends near his kids in a divorce deal netting his ex a record £500million.
In return, former wife ELIN NORDEGREN, 30, gets the biggest payout ever seen in a celebrity divorce.
Swedish ex model Elin ended up with double the sum she originally sought, after her lawyers proved Tiger, 34, was worth much more than the $1billion (£660m) she thought.
“The price of the huge sum is her silence: no interviews, tell-all books, or TV appearances about this for the rest of her life – even if Tiger dies first – or she’ll lose the lot.”
I wonder how Elin is planning on keeping her kids away from things like the Internet and television if she is so worried about protecting them from exposure to Tiger’s mistresses. Oh well, three quarters of a billion dollars will buy lots of therapy, lots of presents and most of Oklahoma.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Al Gore Demands Happy Ending for a $540 Massage
Jun 24th
Maybe Tipper Gore is leaving Al because he tried to tongue punch a massage therapist in Portland Oregon. He paid 540 dollars for a massage that ended not so happily for Mr. Green- she accused him of sexual assault.
FINISH ME!!
From OregonLive here:
A Portland massage therapist gave local police a detailed statement last year alleging that former Vice President Al Gore groped her, kissed her and made unwanted sexual advances during a late-night massage session in October 2006 in a suite at the upscale Hotel Lucia.
The woman told investigators that she was called to the hotel about 10:30 p.m. Oct. 24, 2006, to provide a massage for Gore, who was registered under the name “Mr. Stone.” Once inside his ninth-floor suite, she said he pushed her hand to his groin, fondled her buttocks and breasts, tongue-kissed her and threw her down on the bed as she tried to thwart his advances.
She also said Gore had finished a beer and opened a bottle of Grand Marnier while she was in the room.
While the Police Bureau considers it a closed case, it said it would reopen it if new evidence is received. “We’re not disputing Al Gore was in the hotel room with this woman,” Wheat said. “The two people in that room were Mr. Gore and this woman. If a bellhop came in and saw something, that would be different.”
The Enquirer has seen the massage bill. And hey, how smooth is Al chasing a beer with GM? Sounds like something a fat tard from Tennessee would do.
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(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...Al Gore Was Banging Laurie David
Jun 15th
Seems that Al Gore and Laurie David have invented the GreenGasm.
From the Star here:
Al Gore’s split from wife Tipper after 40 years of marriage was a shock to everyone who thought theirs was the ideal marriage. Now Star can exclusively reveal that the former Vice President was having an affair with Larry David’s ex-wife — for the past two years!
Al and Tipper’s breakup didn’t come as much of a surprise to one Hollywood player — Laurie David. Al has been having an affair with Laurie, who divorced Seinfeld creator and Curb Your Enthusiasm star Larry David in 2007 amidst reports she was cheating with the caretaker of their Martha’s Vineyard summer home.
“Al and Laurie went from friends to lovers,” an insider tells Star. “It couldn’t be avoided.”
A moonbat mishmash. Yep, tipper’s getting half if not more at this point.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Al Gore Divorcicle!
Jun 1st
Al Gore, the insane lunatic that walks the earth in a sandwich board sign declaring that the earth is coming to an end is about to be divorced by his wife after 40 long, boring, disappointing years. This means that she will get half of the Presidential Loser’s considerable wealth he’s managed to chisel from various global warming carbon offset scams he’s running, plus the cash from the retarded global warming movie he made, plus half his nobel prize winnings, plus half of his real estate holdings, plus half of current TV.
NOOOOO!!! Greedy Bitch!!!
I’m sure he will tell Tipper in the divorce proceedings to “Go ahead take all my wealth! It won’t do you any good when you are 40 feet below sea level due to melting glaciers! They’ll call you the sea hag! I won’t let you come aboard the Ark I’m building in Tennessee to save 2 of every critter! Bill Clinton always told me you were a bitch!”
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(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...Sandra Bullock Picks Huge Winners
May 27th
Sandra Bullock is proven to make horrible decisions. Speed 2. Demolition Man. The Net. Adopting a Black Baby. And she married this gigantic lactating crapweasel.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Melissa Etheridge Hoping Someone Else Comes to Her Window
Apr 15th
Yay! Melissa Etheridge and her latest gay partner whom she somehow had children with have split up! That’s what she gets for having won best music for Al Gore’s abortion of a science fiction movie on Global Warming, snubbing Dream Girls.
No word on who gets the test-tube offspring yet, but I vote that they should go to the father. Etheridge can now get on to scissoring some other chick and talking her into carrying yet more children who won’t know what a father is. From People Mag here:
Melissa and Tammy Etheridge have ended their nearly nine-year relationship.
“Melissa and Tammy Etheridge are saddened to announce that they are now separated,” Melissa’s rep tells PEOPLE exclusively.
The former couple add in a statement: “We ask for consideration and respect for our family as we go through this difficult period.”
Melissa, 48, and Tammy (formerly Tammy Lynn Michaels) exchanged vows in Malibu in September 2003. Etheridge is also the mother of two children, Bailey, 13, and Beckett, 11, with former partner Julie Cypher.
I can’t see what the gay divorce will look like. Will Tammy get half, which is what a hetero woman would get under California law? Or will they take the easy way out and claim they were never married?
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Facebook Best Tool in Divorce Lawyer’s Toolbox
Feb 28th
When you hire a divorce lawyer today their first bit of advice is to:
#1 Download all the dirt from your soon-to-be-ex-spouse’s Facebook Page.
#2 Delete your Facebook Account.
The article below mentions that over 80% of all divorce cases now include Facebook drama. Wow.
From TampaBayOnline here:
If eHarmony is the Web site bringing lovebirds to the threshold of marriage, Facebook is the one showing up for the divorce.
The world’s most popular social media site is revolutionizing the divorce experience, pouring toxin into virtually every stage of a collapsing marriage.
Rekindling old flames into blazing affairs. Exposing the “Exhibit A” that divorce lawyers wave in the courtroom. Providing a global stage for feuding spouses to torch each other’s reputations in multi-media splendor.
Take, for instance, the Tampa wife who videotaped fights with her husband (camera in one hand, accusing finger in the other), to post on Facebook later. A child psychologist called it “like a reality TV show.”
Or the Tampa husband with a Facebook fixation, who posted minute-by-minute updates about his frustrations with parenting. Lawyers for his wife gleefully turned the online confessions against him in court.
Facebook is “like gasoline on the fire,” said Chris Ragano, a Tampa attorney who says Facebook turns up in more than half of new cases each month. Now, he orders every new client to cancel their Facebook account on Day 1 of his retainer – but not before using the account to collect evidence against the other side.
More than 80 percent of lawyers surveyed by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers said Facebook is showing up in more divorce cases. Sixty-six percent called Facebook the unrivaled leader for online divorce evidence, followed by MySpace (15 percent) and Twitter (5 percent).
Facebook. 1 million love matches made. 7 million divorces caused.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Awww! Just In Time for Valentine’s Day: John Edwards Proposed to Rielle Hunter
Feb 10th
John couldn’t wait to get away from Elizabeth “Cancer Tits” Edwards and start his new life with his love-baby’s Mama. Sweet and romantic move for a former Father of the Year, right?
From the Enquirer here:
John Edwards has proposed to his mistress Rielle Hunter, and is buying a luxury $3.5 million beachfront home where they can live happily ever after with their love child.
The disgraced presidential candidate popped the question at the same time he told Rielle that he’d be issuing a press statement finally confirming he fathered her daughter Frances Quinn.
Edwards, 56, released that statement on Jan. 21, and just six days later a spokesperson for his cancer-stricken wife Elizabeth confirmed the couple had legally separated after 32 years of marriage. Sources say they expect to be officially divorced within a year, paving the way for the ex-senator to make Rielle, 45, his wife.
Know how I know this is true? Its the 21st century and I read it in the Enquirer. Which has been dead accurate on Edwards.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Jon Gosselin Booted From Jon and Kate Plus 8- Jon Bans TLC From the Home
Oct 1st
Jon Gosselin seems to have finally found his parental senses after TLC announced that the show would be renamed to “Kate Plus 8.” He posted a poorly spelled No Trespassing sign on the gate to their mansion banning the TLC film crew from the home. He says he no longer believes that parading his brats in front of a camera is good for the kids. Pics linked from BWE below:
From the AP here:
The father of the children on “Jon & Kate Plus 8″ says it’s “not healthy” for his kids to continue appearing on the TLC reality show.
Jon Gosselin says he had “an epiphany one day” and realized his 5-year-old sextuplets and 8-year-old twins shouldn’t be filmed at the family’s Pennsylvania home while their parents are going through a divorce.
TLC network has shut down filming of the children on “Jon & Kate Plus 8″ after receiving a cease-and-desist order from Gosselin.
In a statement, the network said production would remain suspended “pending further conversations” between both Gosselins. Filming not directly involving the kids is ongoing, TLC said Thursday.
“It appears that Jon’s priority is Jon and his interests,” his estranged wife, Kate Gosselin, said in a statement on Thursday. “My priority remains our children and their well being.”
Jon continues to be a douche, but in this case, his douchiness is actually right for the kids. It is beyond pathetic to film a family going through a divorce. But he really isn’t having this epiphany because of his fatherly concern. He’s just bitter about being dropped from the show.
If TLC wanted a good show, they should just poke Mady with a sharp stick and give her twin sister Cara new toys. Watching Mady quickly devolve from troubled pre-teen to full-on underage stripper should be compelling television.
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(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 6) Loading ...Second Life Whores Divorce Each Other IRL
Nov 14th
A British couple with nothing better to do than waste their lives online in SecondLife, which is just a fancy, pretty chat room, are getting a divorce in real life, five years after meeting each other (shocker!) on line. I have a feeling that the divorce won’t be finalized until after they get a virtual lawyer in SecondLife and get a virtual divorce where the guy has to lose half of his virtual money.
From Reuters here:
A British woman is divorcing her husband after discovering his online alter-ego was having an affair with a virtual woman in the fantasy world of Second Life.
Amy Taylor, 28, said her three-year marriage to David Pollard, 40, came to an end when she twice walked in on him watching his online character, Dave Barmy, having sex with other virtual women.
The couple met in an internet chatroom in 2003 and married in real life and in a fantasy tropical setting in Second Life.
However, Taylor always had suspicions about Pollard’s online loyalty. At one point she hired a virtual detective to test whether his avatar was cheating on her, after finding him at the computer watching his character having sex with a prostitute.
“The lawyer wasn’t at all surprised — she said it was her second divorce case involving Second Life that week.”
A virtual detective? At least the jilted woman didn’t try to kidnap him using a taser, duct tape and a BB gun like Kimberly Jernigan did.
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(1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 6) Loading ...Heather Claims Her Life in Danger, Paul Wants Custody
Nov 6th
Heather Mills is losing her mind and accusing people of making death threats against her. As a result, Paul McCartney, fearing for the life of his daughter, wants full custody.
From NYDailyNews here:
Paul McCartney plans to push for full custody of his 4-year-old daughter after his ex-wife, Heather Mills, launched an amazing TV rant last week.
The Beatles legend told pals he fears for the well-being of little Beatrice after Mills admitted being suicidal in a series of bizarre interviews.
McCartney, 65, has already spoken to his lawyers about the custody issue.
He and Mills, 39, have been feuding publicly for months, but Mills hit a new low when she admitted considering suicide over what she called her vilification by the media.
“She claimed to the world that her life’s at risk,” McCartney reportedly told friends. “If that’s true, so is Bea’s and she must be with her dad.”
As BWE puts it, that crodocile must be back to finish the job.
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