BelchSpeak
I can't believe that came from your mouth!
Does Your Homeowner’s Insurance Cover Baboon Invasion?
Apr 24th
A troop of baboons in South Africa invade a home and wreak total chaos. Cabinets emptied, refrigerator raided, and even the medicine cabinets emptied. And dear god, look at all the baboon scat!
Is this South Africa’s version of swatting?
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Loading ...AP Twitter Account Hacked; Taiwanese Animators Show Obama Knocked Out By Michelle’s Fart
Apr 24th
This is so hilarious on so many levels. Those Taiwanese animators skewer everyone in this one.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Time For Moratorium on Muslims With Student Visas?
Apr 24th
This is a great video of Fox’s The Five discussing horrible poetry by shitty songwriters praising the Boston Bombers. It also includes a great idea by a Democrat, Bob Beckel who suggests that we stop allowing any more Muslim students into this country on Student Visas until we can get a handle on who is already here. Universal background checks on visiting Muslims? I think its an idea whose time has come.
I didn’t have time to write a poem for @amandapalmer but we did this: youtube.com/watch?feature=…
— GregGutfeld (@greggutfeld) April 23, 2013
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A Good Book is Distracting
Apr 23rd
Blogging has been light due to a main distraction going on right now. It’s Tom Clancy’s Threat Vector. Its a continuation of the Jack Ryan series and it involves cyber warfare with China. It is a huge page turner and I will probably wrap it up later this week and get back to blogging- and twitter and other things I’m supposed to be paying attention to.
If you want to read a fast paced spy thriller and war novel, get it for yourself.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...So What’s Up With the Gluten?
Apr 23rd
Americans are getting fatter and fatter and we as a society are trying to locate a culprit to pin it on. Is it carbs? Fats? We all know that asshole who thinks it’s gluten, so here’s the skinny on gluten.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Those Coachella Hipsters Are Stupid
Apr 23rd
Jimmy Kimmel punks the concert-goers at this year’s Coachella Festival by making up fake band names. In an effort to be “in the know” these young stupid hipsters lie their asses off about how much they are into these fake bands.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Third World Games
Apr 22nd
Judging by what looks like sacks of grain in the background, maybe this is the Hunger Games. Anyways, this is how four young kids in Latin America play a rousing game with just their hands and an empty two-liter bottle.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Re-educating My Child About Earth Day
Apr 22nd
Walking my kindergartner home from school today I asked him if he learned about Earth Day. He said, “Yep! We are supposed to pick up trash today.”
I replied, “Oh no we don’t. We pay people to pick up trash. We don’t litter, but we don’t pick up trash either. Its not our job.”
“Yes it is! They told us that in school!” he insisted.
So I told him the story of the Earth Day founder Ira Einhorn. I made him repeat the name back to me. He did. I went on to explain to him how he was a very bad man who killed his girlfriend and stuffed her in a box and ran away from Police for thirty years.
He asked me, “Did he kill her with a sword?”
I had to think. I didn’t describe the horrible way Ira Einhorn, the Unicorn killer, kept his girlfriend’s corpse in a box, but told him “Yep, sure. Killed her with a sword. Do you think we should celebrate anything that this evil man told us to celebrate?”
“No Way!” he screamed with enthusiasm. And then he made up his own story about a bad person who stuffed someone in a box, proving to me that the story had sunk in. We don’t celebrate Earth Day or any other secular earth-worshipping event in our home. Teachers can try to indoctrinate my child, and I have to use truth and facts to set him straight.
13 Worst Predictions Made on Earth Day, 1970: freedomworks.org/node/42543 14. “Nobody’s dumb enough to fall for this nonsense, are they?”
— Jim Treacher (@jtLOL) April 22, 2013
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Colorado Outlaws Guns But Legalizes Pot for the Lulz
Apr 21st
In a state that just passed restrictive gun laws but extremely liberalized marijuana use, you can’t help but laugh at hippies getting gunned down at the first ever 4-20 “holiday.”
From Rare here:
Authorities are hunting for suspects after shooting broke out during a massive marijuana celebration in Denver, leaving two people with gunshot wounds.
The gunfire scattered thousands attending Saturday’s 4/20 counterculture holiday, the first since Colorado legalized marijuana.
Witnesses described a scene in which a jovial atmosphere quickly turned to one of panic at the downtown Civic Center Park just before 5 p.m. Several thought firecrackers were being set off, then a man fell bleeding, his dog also shot.
The annual pot celebration this year was expected to draw as many as 80,000 people.
Police said: “Our message to the public is that, if you see something, say something.”
Stephanie Riedel, who traveled to the pot celebration from Pittsburgh, said she was dancing with a hula hoop when she heard pops.
“I couldn’t make sense of what it was at first,” she said. “We were all having a good time and I was in the mindframe of, we’re here at a peace gathering. I thought it some guys playing.”
I think its absolutely lulzy that a bunch of dope smoking hippies got gunned at during a pot-fest after their liberal state legalized pot use and damn-near outlawed guns. And of course the writers quoted a dreddie-haired hippie with a hula hoop to proclaim that the pot fest was about peace! And what about the “See something say something” proclamation by cops? I’m certain all of their tips were about “double rainbows brah!” or about rogue unicorns. Asking a stoned crowd to be on the lookout for criminals is the epitome of failure.
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Marathon Bomber Was Pot-Smoking Democrat
Apr 20th
This is not a shock to me. Marijuana smokers are seven times more likely to suffer psychotic episodes and most of the recent violent crimes that garner national attention were committed by heavy pot smokers. Of course, marijuana legalization advocates will try to claim that marijuana is harmless and even good for you, and will discount any connection between the Marathon bomber and pot.
From the DC here:
Boston bombing suspect and fugitive Dzhokhar Tsarnaev was a “normal pot head” who supported President Obama for re-election last November, according to friends and his Twitter account.
Chris Barry, who attended the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth with Tsarnaev, described him as normal teenager who loved to smoke pot and cigarettes every day.
“He was a pot head, a normal pot head,” said Barry in an interview with Politico. “I couldn’t even imagine him being mad at someone let alone hurting someone.”
Tsarnaev, a Muslim, did not come across as strongly religious, said Barry.
“He never brought it up. It seemed like he could care less,” he said.
Tsarneav’s Twitter account provided clues about the suspected bomber’s political views. On November 6th, he retweeted several statements suggesting a preference for President Obama over Republican candidate Mitt Romney.
Why did I bother to go out of the way to mention this terrorist was a Democrat? Because I guarantee you that if he was a Tea Partier, the news would never stop talking about it.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Range Time With the Glock
Apr 19th
My pal Dave took me to the range to play with a 40 calibre Glock. Loved it.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Still The Greatest Show on Earth
Apr 19th
Took the family to see Ringling Brothers Barnum and Bailey Circus last night and that is still one of the most thrilling shows you can see for your money. And it helps if you have really great seats too! Many of the show’s staple acts are still going strong- the trapeze artists, the lion and tiger tamers and the magnificent stunt horse riding. And elephants too, of course!
My favorite part was the amazing closing act with eight motorcycles in the Globe of Doom!
And the clowns weren’t too annoying either. In fact, one female chick was sorta hot and I really don’t know how to feel about that.
(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...
1 Bomber Dead; 2nd Soon-to-be-Dead
Apr 19th
So the Marathon Bombers have a profile sure to delight both left and right. For the left, they finally got their white terrorist. For the right, they are immigrant student Islamists from Chechnya. Finally a public enemy number one that can unite the country!
From the AP here:
The suspects were identified to The Associated Press as coming from the Russian region near Chechnya, which has been plagued by an Islamic insurgency stemming from separatist wars. A law enforcement intelligence bulletin obtained by the AP identified the surviving bomb suspect as Dzhokhar A. Tsarnaev, a 19-year-old who had been living in Cambridge, just outside Boston, and said he “may be armed and dangerous.”
Two law enforcement officials told the AP that Tsarnaev and the other suspect, who was not immediately identified, had been living legally in the U.S. for at least one year.
My late night blog post was somewhat accurate in that these were students. At least one attended Bunker Hill Community College for engineering. And they certainly weren’t interested in any tax day protests.
Video from Dzhokhar Tsarnaev’s Facebook also has this picture of spilled blood on the floor: twitter.com/igorvolsky/sta…
— igorvolsky (@igorvolsky) April 19, 2013
The night before suspects were found, NY Daily News linked bombing to Waco, Ruby Ridge: twitter.com/GCarpetPernman… Screen-cap by @gcarpetpernman
— Will Antonin (@Will_Antonin) April 19, 2013
@will_antonin @gcarpetpernman Well, those all took place on this one tiny planet. From a galactic viewpoint it’s certainly suspicious.
— Illbay (@Illbay) April 19, 2013
(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 6) Loading ...FBI Releases Photo of Prime Marathon Bombing Suspects
Apr 18th
Two men, one in a black golf cap, khakis, leather shoes and his pal in the backwards white baseball cap.
The 2 Boston suspects, in photo released by FBI. bit.ly/YqjQkVyfrog.com/hw1c7ep
— Jim Roberts (@nycjim) April 18, 2013
Definitely not the guys from my earlier post. But what the main suspect in the black cap is wearing does seem to lean toward a person with a professional wardrobe- guys in Information Technology often dress in khakis and brown leather shoes. And their bombing method is definitely something out of the Anarchist’s cookbook, and they used batteries commonly used for remote control toys- perhaps a device that could have received a radio frequency signal like a model airplane.
I’m thinking it may have been a technology student like at MIT- or an Occupy Wallstreet “activist” or even someone associated with Anonymous. Occupy “activists” attempted to blow up a bridge in Cleveland, after all. The men are way too young to have a significant complaint about Tax Day since they hadn’t dumped as much cash into the IRS as everyone else. Of course these cretins are about to get caught and only then will we know what their motive was- but I get the feeling that anarchy and anti-capitalism was the motive. Until the FBI brings these guys to justice, feel free to ponder the motive in the comments below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Grrrrrr!
Apr 18th
Grrrrrr!, a photo by BelchSpeak on Flickr.
When we first got the puppy she was as small as the smallest cat. Now she is almost twice the size of the biggest cat and her energy and strength continues to grow along with her gangly body size.
Hilariously, when we do laundry, we tend to pile it next to the washer. Merida separates the laundry for us. Towels into the living room. Underwear and socks into the Dining room. Tshirts in the kitchen. I had to put a stop to it when she tried to pull a pair of jeans onto the patio.
(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...
Mummified Jersey Hoarder Found Among Cat Feces
Apr 18th
A New Jersey Hoarder decider to take it all with her. She lived the hoarder’s dream, surrounded by rubbish, cat shit, and refusing help from loved ones and what few friends she had left. Then she got buried alive, and like the Egyptians of yore, she mummified herself surrounded by all of her “precious!”
From CBS here:
North Jersey Hoarder Found Partially Mummified Among Trash, Animal Feces
It took two months for the remains of a suspected hoarder to be found under all the garbage in her northern New Jersey home.
Police in New Milford described 68-year-old Alice Klee’s apartment as a sad situation, with cat urine, feces, garbage and other items piled wall to wall.
Neighbors said they hadn’t seen her since early February. Authorities went to her home and never found her, leading to a missing persons report.
It wasn’t until Klee’s landlord began cleaning out her unit that her partially mummified body was discovered under her own garbage and clothes.
My cousin is a West Virginia cop and he has told me stories about how cats will eat the corpses of their dead owners when they stop getting fed. But this hoarder was buried and protected by her own filth, so the cats probably just started eating each other.
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Crowdsourced Internet Sleuths Identify Bombers
Apr 18th
Drudge linked to the photos today on Imgur, but when I visited later to blog about this, the photos were pulled. But here are two photos that Internet crowds contend is the bomber- in the white cap, with his cohort in the blue tracksuit. In the first picture both are carrying backpacks. In the second, the man in the white hat is missing his backpack. The man in the blue tracksuit is also carrying a heavy package in a shoulder-slung pack. If these were the men, neither of whom are smiling like the rest of the crowd, I guess MSNBC will declare them to be “White Islamic Terrorists” in order to keep pushing their “right-wing” terrorist agenda.
This man also matches the CBS tweet yesterday:
JUST IN: Man sought as possible suspect is WHITE MALE, wearing white baseball cap on backwards, gray hoodie and black jacket.
— CBS News (@CBSNews) April 17, 2013
UPDATE:
Drudge now explains that these men were a track coach and his student. This would have given them a reason to be there legitimately.
CNN identified teen, track coach as ‘possible suspects’ at ‘top of list’ of federal investigators… drudge.tw/Z6tlJU
— DRUDGE REPORT (@DRUDGE_REPORT) April 18, 2013
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Think You Have Trouble Remembering Passwords?
Apr 17th
This is the access code from hell. But I’d bet that there are more than a few nerds out there with this as their password:
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...No More Free Scooters for Fat Retired WalMart Shoppers
Apr 17th
Remember those annoying Scooter Store commercials? Well the FBI raided the Scooter Store for medicaid fraud and now the company is bankrupt.
From ABC here:
The Scooter Store, which claims it has given 700,000 senior citizens back their mobility, has itself run aground. The company this week filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy, listing assets of $1 million to $10 million and liabilities of between $50 million and $100 million.
Major creditors include the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS), which, according to the filing, is looking to collect $19.5 million–the amount the Scooter Store previously had agreed to repay the U.S. government after an independent audit found that the company had overbilled Medicare and Medicaid by $46.8 million to $87.7 million from 2009 to 2011.
Last month agents of the FBI, the Office of the Inspector General, the U.S. Department of Health and the Texas Attorney General’s office raided the Scooter Store’s headquarters in New Bruanfels, Texas. Two weeks after that, Scooter’s CEO Martin Landon sent an email to employees telling them not to return to work until further notice.
The government audit found that seniors with no medical need for a power chair had nonetheless gotten one through the Scooter Store—an outcome due in part to the company’s skill at badgering doctors to prescribe its products.
The company, which according to bankruptcy filings, once had over 2,400 employees, now is gets by with just 300. It has stopped selling chairs and stopped running its once ubiquitous TV commercials promising seniors they could not be turned down for a “free” power chair, courtesy of government health coverage.
I’m happy to see a company that was looting taxpayers go right down the crapper. And with Obamacare coming, audits like this are going to become very frequent.
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