BelchSpeak
I can't believe that came from your mouth!
Dumb Ways to Die Parody Involving Video Games
Dec 11th
Yeah, this is kinda hilarious. Especially getting your split screen players mixed up, which happens to me a lot.
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Loading ...Turn of the Century Convenience
Dec 11th
Turn of the Century Convenience, a photo by BelchSpeak on Flickr.
I am a huge fan of old saloon photos. I tend to collect them when I’m on the road as I am now outside of San Francisco. This one was hanging on a men’s room wall, and I snagged the photo with the Genius Scan app for iPhone.
This shot was taken in 1904 and features the white jacketed barkeeps, the mustachioed owner and a few patrons at the bar swilling their usual frothy beverages. What makes this photo unique, however, is the forward-thinking of turn-of-the-century bar design.
It has a urinal trough right at the bar. You don’t even have to get off your bar stool.
I know a bunch of people think this would be gross, but I think this is an invention whose time needs to return. Toss in a couple of modern urinal cakes, some plasma high def tvs, and sit for hours and watch the games without those nagging interruptions!
FYI, urine is sterile. Plus, if you’ve ever been to a bar that smells like piss anyways, now you could go to one that smells like piss for a reason.
(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...
US Secret Service Stored Backup Tapes on the DC Metro
Dec 10th
The Secret Service was supposed to store its backup tapes offsite at an Olney Maryland location. But the Marylander they entrusted the job to get the tapes there left two backup tapes on the Metro. Then they tried to cover up their mistake according to the USSS Inspector General.
From Sophos here:
A contractor working for the US Secret Service walked onto a Washington, DC Metro train carrying two tapes full of extremely sensitive data. He got off at his stop carrying neither.
A few years later, the US Secret Service is under investigation for what’s being described as the “immense breach”.
The tapes contained personal information about all agency employees, contacts and overseas informants.
The extremely sensitive personal data included Social Security Numbers, home addresses, information about family members, phone numbers, dates of birth, medical information, bank account numbers, employment information, driver’s license numbers, passport numbers, and biometric information – all of which were secured only with “very basic encryption”.
The tapes were lost on the Red Line of the Metro in 2008 by a reportedly young, low-ranking employee of a private contracting company hired to transport them from headquarters to a secure vault in Olney, Md., where government agencies store contingency plans, documents and other backup material.
The employee volunteered to drop off the tapes because he lived near the vault, but he got off at the Glenmont, Md., Metro stop without the tapes
This is a major screw-up. From the description, this wasn’t just employee information. This was data from every employee’s extensive background check to obtain top secret clearances, including fingerprints. And you are supposed to hire a service to pick up the tapes and transport them securely to the offsite storage site, not hand them to a contractor who lives nearby. I wonder if the contracting company lost its contract?
(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...
College Students Poison Classmates with Pot Brownies
Dec 10th
Two students who are probably already failing out of school anyways, are under arrest for poisoning their professor and classmates with brownies loaded with THC butter. THC is the psycho-active ingredient in marijuana.
From GlobalDispatch here:
two University of Colorado Boulder students brought brownies to one of their classes as part of something called “Bring Food Friday.” They shared the snacks with their fellow classmates and their professor.
These brownies however, were baked with marijuana and led to three people being taken to the hospital, authorities report.
An investigation revealed that the three hospitalized victims — and five other classmates — were suffering from the effects of tetrahydrocannabinol (THC), the active ingredient in marijuana,” University of Colorado Boulder Police said. “Two students — Thomas Ricardo Cunningham, 21, and Mary Elizabeth Essa, 19 — baked THC-laced brownies for the class as part of a ‘bring food day.’ The professor and classmates were unaware that the brownies contained THC.”
Cunningham and Essa are facing felony charges, including assault in the second degree and inducing consumption of controlled substances by fraudulent means.
I think the students should be sued as well as kicked out of the school. Deliberate poisonings via THC are only going to go up now that some states are legalizing the drug. And some might actually die from the poisoning. One Colorado bitch tried to kill her grandson with THC but thankfully killed herself, ridding the world of a dangerous dumbass.
(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...
Got This Dull Boy Tshirt
Dec 8th
Tee Fury hooked me on two shirts this week. This is a wonderful Stanley Kubrick’s Shining T-Shirt drawn in part with the words “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.” Fantastic, and its not too dark- I tend to get way too many dark tshirts.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Its Deer Crossing Season- Liberal Woman Wants Signs Moved
Dec 8th
I’m a little bit late to this story, but it is a good illustration of how the typical Obama-voting woman from Minnesota thinks and feels about sacred wildlife. She has written many letters to the press and government officials suggesting that migrating deer cross the highways safely at school crossings instead of the dangerous deer crossings- where she has killed three deer herself.
From the NYDailyNews here:
“It seems to me that it’s so irresponsible of us to allow these deer crossings to be in an area where these deer are so likely to be struck by oncoming traffic,” she said. “Wouldn’t you agree?”
The show’s hosts found it hard to interject seriously, realizing just how dimwitted Donna was acting.
“The government can direct the deer population anywhere they want to,” she added. “All they have to do is move that deer crossing sign.”
Audio of the woman’s deer-related diatribe was uploaded to YouTube on Oct. 8, and has been viewed more than 3.5 million times.
The caller even earned a nickname: Donna the Deer Lady.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Steven Crowder Talks to Democrats About the Fiscal Cliff
Dec 8th
Shocker that Democrats don’t seem to have a grasp on current events, but not so much a shocker that they agree that the correct way forward would put them on the side of Republicans. And loads of lulzy footage of people going over cliffs.
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Don’t Fall for the Lightspeed Express Money Mule Scam
Dec 7th
Russian criminals are currently spamming Americans with emails promising lucrative work at home opportunities with a company that is supposedly renowned for worldwide shipping. You can check out their rather professional-looking website here. Screenshot is below.
In the emails, the Russians, posing as an HR recruiter, promises candidates that they will be paid at least 1,500 bucks upon completion of their training, and then they will be flown to the NYC headquarters to meet corporate personnel. All of this is a lie, and no money will ever be paid to the victims falling for this scam.
Lightspeedexpress.com is a scam website created October 29th of this year in preparation for a Money Mule recruiting scam. What the Russians will actually do is use its victims to receive and forward stolen goods acquired from other cyber scams- whether it is credit card bundles, cash or other merchandise. They want Americans to be the middle man in this scheme as it protects the Russians’ anonymity and also sets up the victims to be the fall guy when the cops start tracking the stolen goods shipments.
Domain Name: LIGHTSPEEDEXPRESS.COM
Registrar: ONLINENIC, INC.
Whois Server: whois.onlinenic.com
Referral URL: http://www.OnlineNIC.com
Name Server: NS1.UKRAINE.COM.UA
Name Server: NS2.UKRAINE.COM.UA
Status: ok
Updated Date: 29-oct-2012
Creation Date: 29-oct-2012
Expiration Date: 29-oct-2013>>> Last update of whois database: Fri, 07 Dec 2012 16:07:14 UTC <<<
Queried whois.onlinenic.com with "lightspeedexpress.com"...Registrant:
Privacy Protection, report abuse to abuse@ukraine.com.ua +38.0445921192 +38.0444010470
Registrar: DELTA-X Ltd.
PO Box 65
Kiev,Kiev Region,UA 03065
If you have received an email from lightspeedexpress.com, ignore it. If you have responded and provided your personal information, stop corresponding with these crooks and immediately put a flag on your credit score to prevent these guys from stealing your identity. Don’t accept any of their packages if they send one to you. And if you are currently acting as a money mule hoping you’ll get paid, don’t hold your breath. There will never be a payday, and you are participating in international cybercrime. So stop it.
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Got the TShirt- Skinny Dipping
Dec 7th
A very tender moment captured on a Tshirt- Kermit and Miss Piggy make out while skinny-dipping.
Via Teefury.
(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...John McAfee Captured; Gets Taiwanese Animator Treatment
Dec 6th
John McAfee was busted in Guatemala after his friend posted a photograph of himself that included coordinates in the EXIF information. Loads of laughs in this video referencing getting rid of unwanted malware.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...TSA Screener Busted Stealing Tech From Travelers
Dec 6th
Yet another crook employed by the TSA has been busted stealing iPads from travelers. Sean Henry of Brooklyn New York worked at JFK Airport and had a nasty habit of taking expensive equipment out of the bags of airline passengers.
From ABC here:
A Transportation Security Administration screener has been arrested on charges he swiped iPads and other electronic devices from passengers’ luggage at John F. Kennedy Airport.
Port Authority spokesman Steven Coleman said Wednesday that 32-year-old Sean Henry, of Brooklyn, was nabbed in a sting operation using decoy bags in cooperation with the TSA.
Coleman says Henry was arrested after leaving work carrying in his backpack two planted iPads and other electronic devices. He says stolen items were also found in Henry’s home.
The 10-year veteran of the federal agency was arrested on charges of grand larceny and official misconduct.
I travel very frequently. I never take my eyes off my laptop bag as it goes through the screening process. And its not just he TSA who might steal a laptop or iPad- other travelers can also easily snag a piece of equipment, either on purpose or by accident. Additionally, make your gear uniquely and easily identifiable- whether its with stickers, a skin, or even paint to prevent it from getting mixed up by someone else. I’m amazed at how often different travelers put identical looking Macbooks through the scanner, and I don’t know how they manage to reclaim their own laptops.
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Reason 115 to Homeschool: Black Principal Won’t Force Your Kid to Stand for “Negro National Anthem”
Dec 6th
Charleston West Virginia’s Capital High School Principal, Clinton Giles, forced students to stand quietly every Friday for the “Negro National Anthem” ‘Lift Every Voice and Sing.’ If students refused to participate, they were singled out for ridicule.
Giles’ boss and the school board were called in to force Giles to change his school’s policy requiring students to stand during the song.
From the DailyMail here:
Capital High School is changing its policy so students will no longer be required to stand for the playing of the national anthem, pledge or anything else played over the loudspeaker during morning observances.
Principal Clinton Giles revised the policy Wednesday following an investigation by Mark Milam, assistant superintendent for Kanawha County high schools, and a conversation with Superintendent Ron Duerring.
Giles said he was “completely and totally exonerated” following the investigation, but the school is adding the words “or sit” to its policy regarding student participation during the Pledge of Allegiance.
The song, “Lift Every Voice and Sing,” embodies “the idea that everybody is somebody at Capital,” Giles told the Daily Mail. Every Friday it would be played over the school’s loudspeaker directly after the national anthem and pledge. Students were required to stand for all three.
This upset at least two students and one parent.
Kim Bailey is the mother of one student who chose not to stand. She said the song is considered the “African-American National Anthem” and it was disrespectful to make students stand for it.
Her son chose not to stand and was sent to the office several times because of his decision, she said. She also said Giles made statements over the loudspeaker about the situation that “ostracized” her son.
Liberals only want to play the National Anthem if they can editorialize it with their own agenda. This principal seems to be tap-dancing around his own policy to play the Negro National Anthem. Just stop playing the song and teach the kids. Why is that so difficult?
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Virginia Woman Sued for Yelp Review
Dec 6th
A Virginia woman who wrote a scathing review of a DC contractor accusing him of theft is being sued for three-quarters of a million bucks. While reviews on websites are usually expressions of free speech, libelous claims that have never been proven can land someone is deep hot water.
From the DailyMail here:
Better think twice before you slam a business with a bad review on Yelp – one Virginia woman is being sued for it.
Unhappy with a contractor who worked on her home, Jane Perez logged on to Yelp and posted a bad review accusing the the business of damaging her house and stealing jewelry.
‘Bottom line,’ she wrote on Yelp. ‘Do not put yourself through this nightmare of a contractor.’
The scathing review resulted in a steady exodus of customers for the company and now the owner is suing Perez for $750,000.Christopher Dietz filed a $750,000 Internet defamation lawsuit against Perez last month, saying the postings on Yelp were false and sent customers fleeing, reports The Washington Post.
Perez, a retired captain in the armed services, said she never she’d be sued over something as common as a Yelp review. ‘I don’t want to see what happened to me happen to anyone else,’ Perez said.
She stands by her reviews, and maintains that what she posted was truthful. Dietz’ business, meanwhile, is taking a beating. He says his reputation was hurt by Perez’s reviews, and alleges her comments cost him $300,000
I was unable to find the original Yelp Review but here is the current one. Snarky reviewers are already hammering Dietz Development as someone who sues their customers. But I think Dietz has a real case. A bad review is one thing, but to accuse a company of theft without proof is indeed libel and defamation.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Going Grinchy Style for Christmas
Dec 5th
Crazy light show on Rocky Run in Northern Virginia. The Grinch plays his new Holiday favorite.
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Reason 510 to HomeSchool: Lesbian Pedophile Won’t Rape Your 13 YO Daughter
Dec 4th
Meet Urszula Jankowska. She is a 33 year old lesbian English teacher at the Williamsburg High School for Architecture and Design. When she wasn’t earning a high-paid union salary to teach, she was seducing a 13 year old girl.
From the DailyNews here:
A Brooklyn high school teacher was pulled from her classroom and arrested after a teenage female student said they shared a three-year “intimate relationship,” education officials and law enforcement sources said.
Cops arrested and charged Urszula Jankowska, an English teacher at Williamsburg High School for Architecture and Design, with committing a criminal sex act, forcible touching and endangering the welfare of a child, sources said Monday night.
The allegation of a racy relationship between Jankowska and the student surfaced after Jankowska told a school principal that the girl had been posting threatening messages on her Facebook page, sources said.
The student then told a school counselor that she and Jankowska began a relationship in 2008, when the girl was 13, law enforcement sources said. The student said the relationship ended in October 2011, sources said.
I have no idea how the DailyNews can describe rape by an adult as a “racy relationship.” They sure didn’t talk about Jerry Sandusky playing slippy finger with little boys as a “racy relationship.”
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...BrendleWhat’s Selfish Teenager Tweets
Dec 4th
I’ve highlighted @BrendleWhat‘s great ability to farm twitter for things that makes you really hate people, such as spoiled brats hating their maids, people getting on a plane with turbans, and how idiots think Hitler was a genius. Now he’s back highlighting the unabashed greed of spoiled teens demanding iPhone 5s and Cars for Christmas.
I told my daddy , I want a iphone 5 for Christmas, he better get it too !
— ? I’m Cece Bxtch !(@Hit_ThatHxe) December 3, 2012
I better get a car for Christmas or I am moving out!!! miss driving so much #wehhh
— ShaunaKeoghan? (@shaunakxox) November 27, 2012
I swear I better get my car for Christmas & not my birthday!
— Kassandra ? (@KasssRenee23) November 30, 2012
If each of my sisters get an ipad for Christmas then I better get a car
— Katie Vargas (@Its__Katie_) December 2, 2012
I swear to God my mum better get me a tiara for christmas!!
— Sevii?Ledgard (@SeviiL93xx) December 3, 2012
He Better Get My I Phone For Christmas Like He Said , Even Though He Did Put Money On My Car .
— February Six
(@__MentallyILL) December 3, 2012
My Mother better get me a new phone for christmas , b/c if i don’t see a phone in my hands that day errbody going have a bad christmas
— Francesca Donayre ? (@donayre_mfx3) December 4, 2012
I better get my flat screen tv and flat iron for Christmas
— Yo Soy Bre’Ana(@harmony589) December 4, 2012
So my dad better get me another Tiffany ring for Christmas!
— Ashley Ganns (@ashleylovelyy_) December 4, 2012
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Hannah Sabata Steals Car, Robs Bank, Makes Viral Video
Dec 4th
Hannah Sabata is 19, a neglectful, drug-addicted mother who lost custody of her kid to the state, and is now a famous car thief and bank robber.
She’s famous because she filmed her criminal confession in a YouTube video in a lame attempt to appear to be a cute badass. But wow, is she stupid.
From the DailyMail here:
Hannah Sabata, from Nebraska, posted the video claiming to have stolen more than $6,000 at gun-point. She said the alleged crime spree was the ‘best day of my life’. During the seven-minute video the teenager says she stole a Pontiac Grand Am and holds up thousands of dollars in cash to the camera. Bizarrely she retained her sense of humor as she was led away by cops.
In the bizarre YouTube video Hannah Sabata, 19, is seen fanning herself with a wad of cash that she said was stolen using a ‘gun, a pillow case and a note’.
In a series of subtitles and hand-written notes, Sabata, of Stromsburg, Nebraska, also claims to have stolen a Pontiac Grand Am during an alleged crime spree that she described as ‘the best day of my life’.
In the video she says she did it because she was a “victim of the government” who took her baby from her. Clearly, the government knew something we didn’t. As one commenter noted in a video about her baby:
It’s probably a good thing that your baby was taken away from you, seeing as how you’re an idiotic, useless, bank-robbing fuck-up. What’s it like knowing your child will forever see you as the greatest disappointment in his life? I’m sure whoever is taking care of him now is doing a better job than you ever could? have.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Midnight Music: How To Destroy Angels – “Ice Age”
Dec 4th
The debut music video by Trent Reznor’s new band “How to Destroy Angels” is pretty spectacular. It features a dulcet female voice to Trent’s fantastic acoustics mixed with his trademark dissonance. And to top it all off, he saves his mix on a 5.25″ floppy disk like an old school boss.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Xmas Marlboros
Dec 3rd
Xmas Marlboros, a photo by BelchSpeak on Flickr.
Nothing puts me in the Christmas spirit like a fitty-cent coupon inside a pack of smokes featuring a cowboy bringing home a Christmas tree on his spare mount.
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Liberals Now Trying to House Poor and Refugees in Pallet Shacks
Dec 3rd
The generosity and level of caring of liberals is deep indeed. Now instead of trying to shove poor blacks into Cargo Containers like in Detroit, liberals have come up with a new “green” idea to cram refugees into wooden shacks made out of recycled shipping pallets. Because that’s preferable to actually doing something to improve the conditions of the poor and homeless.
From the DailyMail here:
According to the U.S. Committee for Refugees and Immigrants, there are more than 33million refugees in the world.
On what seems to be an entirely unrelated note, there are 700million wooden shipping palates produced each year in the United States – 150million of which find their way to landfill each year.
But one project aims to bring these two facts together in a win-win scenario: converting those pallets into cheap, environmentally friendly houses which can be deployed quickly – and even turned into permanent homes.
Creating one permanent home, measuring perhaps 10ft by 20ft, requires approximately 80 palettes, which are nailed or strapped together and lifted into place.
Tarpaulin is then draped over the basic structure, which prevents water penetration until enough debris, stone, mud, earth, wood or corrugated metal from the immediate surroundings can be gathered to fill in the wall cavities and cover the roof.
A 10 by 20 structure sounds like a prison cell to me. But at least liberals care, you know? That’s all that counts. Know what else is finding its way into landfills? Dirty baby diapers. Stack those high enough and you can convince some black people in Haiti to live in those too. And why stop there? Why not milk cartons or some other type of garbage? Designing homes out of waste is just a way to make liberals feel superior and better about themselves for failing to do anything substantial about a problem that their policies create.
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