I can't believe that came from your mouth!
Virginia
Pet Ownership Monumental FAIL
Oct 24th
I have never understood why some people keep huge snakes as pets. Perhaps they want other people to think that they are somehow more badass than everyone else. And when they name the snake “Diablo” then I’m certain that they want the world to think they are more badass than everyone else. Finally, when they allow the snake to strangle their wife to death, I think they can strap on that oversized Wrestlemania belt that declares to the world that they are indeed the most badass pet owner in the whole suburban subdivision! Or maybe it just means they are stupid.
From HamptonRoads.com here:
“Medicate Diablo.” The message, scrawled on a whiteboard, referred to Amanda Ruth Black’s pet python. A few feet away, its container was empty. On the floor, Black, 25, lay dead.
Black’s husband had returned to their townhouse late Tuesday night and called police after finding his wife’s body. A preliminary autopsy showed that Black died of asphyxiation by neck compression. The 13-foot-long tiger reticulated python apparently overpowered her as she tried to administer medication to it.
Black apparently was trying to use a syringe to squirt medication into Diablo’s mouth when it turned on her.
I’m sure the husband of the dead woman will now go out and get a cool tattoo to both remember his dead wife and to keep proving he is a badass dumbass.
At least she didn’t die being humped to death by her pet camel.
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Loading ...Awesome Camping Trip: Cartney 3, Raccoons 0
Sep 29th
The camping trip at the Shenandoah River was great, despite the problems we encountered with the cabin, the chronic misty rain, and the fact that our kid summoned some kind of inner-redbull and fought sleep on both nights. And as always, the food cooked over the campfire was the highlight of the trip.
The cabin was pretty nice, but its amenities were horrible. The mattress we had was basically, a garbage bag of coilsprings. The in-ground charcoal grill collapsed due to rust and disrepair. The air conditioning didn’t work and the well water tasted funny. And worst of all was the stench of a backed-up septic system that bubbled up from the toilet, filling the cabin alternately with the aromas of ammonia and sulfur.
And sure, we are new parents, and perhaps a bit too optimistic about a toddler’s behavioral patterns, but we were convinced that Cartney would stick to his sleeping schedule. His bedtime is typically around 8:30 at night and he mostly sleeps through the night, waking once for a diaper change. We thought that if he ran around all day smacking raccoons with sticks, he would be very tired and have no problem sleeping in the portable “Lightning McQueen” cot. Boy did that idea ever FAIL. He did all the running around alright, but he refused to sleep, climbing out of his cot to play peekaboo with us until 11 PM. Bleary-eyed, we followed him to sleep 10 minutes later.
But all of the problems were easily eclipsed by the great time we had with family and friends, drinking beers around a campfire and eating yummy beef stew and fire-baked 9-grain bread. Thanks to Alton Brown’s Going Dutch episode for the pointers on curing my dutch oven and recipe ideas.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Looking Forward to the Weekend
Sep 25th
First weekend of fall, and we are going camping. I’m bringing ponchos because its gonna be drizzly. We are going to the Shenandoah River to teach the kid how to smack raccoons with sticks.
See my previous post here about this awesome camping spot.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Applause for Lake Anna Winery’s 2005 Merlot
Sep 24th
I had a great gift for Christmas from my brother: enrollment in the wine of the month club for Virginia Wines. I had never been disappointed with it, until that is, I saw that I got bottles from Lake Anna. You see, Lake Anna has never thrilled me when I have done tastings, both onsite and at wine festivals, and when I did a tasting there a couple of years ago, I left with the impression the winery was just trying to manufacture a product, not produce a fine Virginia wine. And a few of the wines from the James River region in the past just have not measured up to the great wines from the Loudon trail or from the Monticello region.
I had friends over tonight and it has been a few weekends since I had the chance to grill steaks. I had some bone-in ribeyes, asparagus, and potatoes on the grill, and because I had guests, I uncorked a bottle of red from my stash. I chose Lake Anna Winery’s 2005 Merlot, thinking I was opening a wine that would be more of a table wine than anything fancy. I like to save my better wines for celebrations. It was a casual night, so I wanted a casual wine. (That sounds better than me saying I was being cheap with my guests!)
When I poured it, I noticed that the wine was clearer than most Merlots and was redder than some of the heavier Merlots from the Loudon region. The taste was medium bodied and flavorful, and you could tell that it had fermented in oak, not steel. It paired really well with the grilled steak and veggies, and the wine was nothing like the wines I remembered from my last visit to Lake Anna winery. I definitely want more for my stash, and this time, I’m saving this Merlot for celebrations or when I get another great steak.
So if you are travelling between DC and Richmond, make a stop at the Lake Anna winery. You might be surprised at what you find.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Virginia Supreme Court- Now Spam is Protected Speech
Sep 14th
We have a few morons on the bench here in Virginia. Our Supreme Court Justices are trying to give rights to criminals that do not exist anywhere else in the country. In a stunning reversal of their own prior opinion, they have now ruled that anyone can send any type of spam they want to my computer, even if it contains malware, trojans and child pornography, because I am a Virginia resident and its the spammer’s constitutional right to free speech to do so.
From the WaPo here:
The Virginia Supreme Court today struck down a state anti-spam law, saying the statute violated the First Amendment right to free and anonymous speech. The decision also tossed out the conviction of a North Carolina man once described as one of the most prolific spammers.
The ruling, arising from the Loudoun County criminal prosecution of Jeremy Jaynes of Raleigh, N.C., was also remarkable because the Supreme Court reversed itself: Just six months ago, the same court upheld the anti-spam law by a 4-3 margin. But Jaynes’s attorneys asked the court to reconsider, typically a long shot in appellate law, and the court not only reconsidered but changed its mind.
Jaynes was convicted in 2004 of sending tens of thousands of e-mails through America Online servers in Loudoun. He was the first person tried under the law, enacted in 2003, and Loudoun Circuit Court Judge Thomas D. Horne sentenced him to nine years in prison.
Virginia Attorney General Bob McDonnell said he intends to appeal the case to the U.S. Supreme Court.
“Today, the Supreme Court of Virginia has erroneously ruled that one has a right to deceptively enter somebody else’s private property for purposes of distributing his unsolicited fraudulent emails. I respectfully but fervently disagree,” McDonnell said in a written statement. “We will take this issue directly to the Supreme Court of the United States. The right of citizens to be free from unwanted fraudulent emails is one that I believe must be made secure.”
It doesn’t matter what anyone wants to say in an email. If you send it to a list of email addresses as spam, you are abusing computer access rights, which ought to be illegal. Its illegal in most other states, but not Virginia.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Go See Bottle Shock
Jul 30th
This looks like it is going to be a great American movie about the wine tasting in 1976 that shocked the world by naming a California Chardonnay superior to it French counterparts. Wow, I am predicting Oscar. The movie’s official site is here.
Click to see the trailer. Thanks to Debbie Schlussel for the story, with more backstory here.
I would love to know how Virginia’s wines stack up.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Fishies Fete On Funky Fetid Foot Flakes
Jul 22nd
I have written previously about tiny fishes that eat the grody calluses and blisters from the feet of rich spoiled housewives in Singapore. Now you can have a fishy pedicure in Alexandria, Virginia.
From the AP here:
Ready for the latest in spa pampering? Prepare to dunk your tootsies in a tank of water and let tiny carp nibble away.
Fish pedicures are creating something of a splash in the D.C. area, where a northern Virginia spa has been offering them for the past four months.
The fish don’t do the job alone. After 15 to 30 minutes in the tank, customers get a standard pedicure, made easier by the soft skin the doctor fish leave behind.
Ho believes his is the only salon in the country to offer the treatment, which costs $35 for 15 minutes and $50 for 30 minutes. The spa has more than 1,000 fish, with about 100 in each individual pedicure tank at any given time.
The owner is also talking about setting up all-over fish treatments to treat other skin flaky problems like psoriasis.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...So How Was YOUR Weekend?
Jul 21st
Mine?
Awesome.
Thanks to my buddy Mike for uploading this to his iPhone gallery. I haven’t pulled the photos off my camera yet, but the iPhone has built-in gallery features for fast sharing. Yeah, I’m a little jealous at how cool the iPhone is. But my Kodak camera got just as many bars as his iPhone did this weekend- ZERO!
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Mike Vick, Imprisoned, Must Pay His Creditors With Cigarettes
Jul 8th
And his creditors don’t like that. So he went bankrupt.
From the AP here:
Imprisoned quarterback Michael Vick filed for bankruptcy protection while serving time for federal dogfighting charges, saying he owes between $10 million and $50 million to creditors.
Vick filed Chapter 11 papers in U.S. Bankruptcy Court in Newport News on Monday. The seven largest creditors listed in the court papers are owed a total of about $12.8 million.
He went on to explain that once he was out of jail he would rebuild his career. I guess his creditors will choke on that promise. Once he gets out of jail he goes on trial in Virginia for dog fighting. From the Daily Press here:
A prosecutor says the state trials of Michael Vick and three co-defendants on dogfighting charges will be delayed until they are freed from federal prison.
Commonwealth’s Attorney Gerald Poindexter says it’s not worth the expense for Surry County to get the men from prisons in different states for trial and escort them back later.
Vick and the other defendants face charges of beating or killing dogs, or causing dogs to fight other dogs, and engaging in or promoting dogfighting.
The former Atlanta Falcons quarterback is serving a 23-month prison sentence after pleading guilty to federal charges in a dogfighting operation. The others received sentences of up to 21 months in prison.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Vienna Virginia is State’s Wussiest Town
Jul 4th
Vienna is just two towns over from where I live. All streets in this crowded Washington DC suburb is restricted to 25 miles per hour. And after a fireworks mishap last year, the town is going with a laser light show.
From WJLA here:
Fireworks are a thing of the past in Vienna as the town replaced them with lasers for 4th of July celebrations after people were hurt in 2007 by a malfunctioning firework.
The switch to lasers has a lot of people upset. Right in front of an elementary school, a gigantic screen will go up for Friday’s laser show, but many residents said they’re not excited to see it, saying the holiday just won’t be the same.
Authorities blamed fireworks made in China for a devastating 2007 accident in Vienna. Eleven people were hurt, two seriously, when rockets ricocheted into a crowd.
But a lot of people are upset since the town tradition dates back at least 40 years. “I’ve seen a laser show. I don’t need to see another one,” resident Mary Suriani.
The Baltimore company’s laser show will cost more than twice as much as the $10,000 fireworks display. The show starts at 9:15 p.m.
Everyone should show up with laser pen lights and shine it into each others’ eyes. Then next year they won’t have a laser light show either. Maybe they will have a slide show in the town square showing photos of fireworks from towns that have the guts to celebrate Independence Day.
To make matters worse, this is how Vienna is going to create the light show:
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(1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 6) Loading ...Marcus Vick Eagerly Following Brother’s Thuglife Footsteps
Jun 13th
Virginia already has one Vick brother in lockup. Now its time to get the other one. Marcus Vick was arrested for DUI, reckless driving, eluding police and driving with a suspended license. So long, dumbass. When you go to jail, tell your brother hello.
From ESPN here:
Former Virginia Tech quarterback Marcus Vick has been charged with driving under the influence and eluding police.
Police said a uniformed bicycle patrol officer observed Vick and a female involved in an altercation in the car early Friday. When the officer asked for a driver’s license, police say Vick sped away but was stopped minutes later.
Vick failed a field sobriety test and was charged with DUI, misdemeanor eluding police, reckless driving and driving on a suspended license.
Marcus Vick was released by the Miami Dolphins in 2007.
Thanks to my sister-in-law for the tip!
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Incredible Hulk Movie Smashes!
Jun 13th
I just got back from seeing the Incredible Hulk movie starring Ed Norton and Liv Tyler. It was pretty good, but in my opinion it could have been much better. Some of the plot items were pretty hokey- for instance, a major clash between the Army and the Hulk took place in a Shenandoah Virginia college campus. And why is it that whenever anyone needs to learn to control their anger they turn to stupid Eastern Religious techniques like Yoga and transendental meditation? Those stupid philosophies have never helped anyone do anything- unless you count how well it helped the Chinese to invade and occupy Tibet.
The origin of the Hulk was muddled quite a bit too with a series of flashbacks and a half-assed explanation on how the army was experimenting with a super-soldier formula.
But with the negatives aside, the move had lots of great stuff that you should see- Such as the climactic fight scene between the Hulk and Abomination in the midst of Harlem, New York. The scientist that helps Banner throughout the movie was Sam Sterns, who becomes the gamma-irradiated super genius, the Leader, whose mental abilities surpass those of Dr. Doom and Mr. Fantastic combined.
Also, the shrink for Betty Ross was none other than Doc Samson, another gamma superhero in the Hulk Universe- one which is often as much of a hindrence to the Hulk as a help.
And finally, after the movie is over, there is a cameo by Tony Stark, played by Robert Downey Jr. who hints at the formation of a “team.” This team is of course, the Avengers.
In Avengers Issue number 1, the Avengers battle the Hulk. The idea of an Avengers Movie with an all-star cast is awesome and exciting to a comics geek like me.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Unexpected Windfall: I Got a Check From the DMV
May 8th
It seems that the Virginia government had been illegally taxing residents in Northern Virginia under some “Congestion Tax” racket. The Northern Virginia Transit Authority were collecting fees without constitutional authority, including a 1% surcharge for any new vehicle purchased. As I had recently bought a new car this year with my Federal tax returns, I was a victim of this aggressive taxation.
The problem is, I had no idea I had even paid this money. So imagine my surprise when I get a check from the Dark Overlords at the Department of Motor Vehicles for almost 200 bucks! Woo Hoo! Eat me, Tim Kaine, you toad.
From the WaPo here:
Gov. Timothy M. Kaine (D) signed a bill that sets up a process to issue refund checks to people who paid taxes levied by the Northern Virginia Transportation Authority, taxes that were later ruled unconstitutional by the Virginia Supreme Court.
The NVTA collected seven taxes and fees in Northern Virginia: a tax on home sellers; a 1 percent initial vehicle registration fee; a $10 regional registration fee; a 2 percent car-rental tax; a 2 percent hotel tax; a $10 safety inspection fee; and a 5 percent sales tax on motor vehicle repairs.
The Department of Motor Vehicles will send out refund checks directly. The other fees will be sent to the unclaimed property division of the Treasury Department, which will publish its refund guidelines by April 1. Information will be updated at http://www.trs.virginia.gov. After April 1, taxpayers can call 804-278-0187.
It should be important to note that many businesses in the NOVA area paid for hotel and rental car stays for business persons. That’s potentially lots of cash waiting for a refund.
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(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 6) Loading ...Washington Post Discovers That Local SchoolTeachers are Whores
Apr 29th
I’ve been saying it all along. First its the filthy MySpace page and then they are tying up your 14 year-old kid like the gimp from Pulp Fiction.
Typical Myspace Teacher Whore. This one went to jail for banging a student.
This is a great story and shows the consequences of having a public-facing website. From the WaPo here:
One Montgomery County special education teacher displayed a poster that depicts talking sperm and invokes a slang term for oral sex. One woman who identified herself as a Prince William County kindergarten teacher posted a satiric shampoo commercial with a half-naked man having an orgasm in the shower. A D.C. public schools educator offered this tip on her page: “Teaching in DCPS — Lesson #1: Don’t smoke crack while pregnant.”
Erin Jane Webster, 22, a long-term substitute teacher in Prince William, posted under a “Work Info” heading, the page reads, “Employer: Prince William County Schools. Location: Parkside Middle School Language Arts Teacher.” The section lists where she attended college (Radford ’07) and high school (Osbourn Park High ’03).
But the page features multiple “bumper stickers,” including one that uses a crude acronym for attractive mothers and another that says: “you’re a retard, but i love you.” Teensy problem: Webster teaches students with emotional and learning disabilities.
Click “View Photos of Erin,” and you can see her lying on her back, eyes closed, with a bottle of Jose Cuervo tequila between her head and shoulder. Or click on her “summertime” photo album and see a close-up of two young men flashing serious-looking middle fingers.
In Prince William, Rich Davila, a real estate company director and the father of a 6-year-old first-grader, said that when he found a substitute teacher’s risque MySpace page recently, he complained to school officials and the teacher was eventually removed.
The teacher’s page includes a painting of a young woman lifting up her dress, exposing her lingerie, and another showing her bare chest. “I felt sick to my stomach when I saw the page,” Davila said. “These Web sites are the bars and restaurants of our new era. It’s like running into your teacher in a restaurant and seeing them not act appropriately. It’s going to come back and haunt him.”
If teachers claim free speech protection under the First Amendment, Simpson said, the U.S. Supreme Court recently ruled that governments can fire employees if their speech harmed the workplace’s mission and function.
Alina Espinosa, a teacher at Clopper Mill Elementary School in Montgomery, had written on her Facebook page in the “About Me” section: “I only have two feelings: hunger and lust. Also, I slept with a hooker. Be jealous. I like to go onto Jdate [an online dating service for Jewish people] and get straight guys to agree to sleep with me.”
Tax dollars well spent. I’m beginning to think its the chalk dust that makes teachers whores. Ah, who am I kidding? They were whores in high school and are merely conditioned to think that’s where they can get the most action, so they pursue a teaching gig.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...How To: Counter Protest
Apr 23rd
This protest was spotted at George Mason University in Fairfax, VA during an event put on by Army Recruiters.
One of these men is telling the truth.
And the other is a huge pussy and a crappy speller. Too bad Crayola Markers don’t come with spellcheck, right? We can see Mom and Dad are wasting their college fund on this one.
Thanks to Jawa Report for pointing me to TheLastoftheFew.
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(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...Reagan National and Gravelly Point
Apr 12th
I found an article today that lists the top ten scariest runways in the World. Number three on the list is Regan National when the landing approach must follow the Potomac. I have taken numerous flights in and out of the DC area and I usually use Dulles, and one of those reasons is the Potomac approach for Reagan National. I’ve done it a few times and I always white-knuckle on the seat when the plane banks 60 degrees on the final approach.
From Travel and Leisure here:
Reagan National requires pilots flying the so-called River Visual into the airport to follow the Potomac while steering clear of sensitive sites such as the Pentagon and CIA headquarters before making a steep turn and landing on this natural peninsula. Taking off, too, is a white-knuckle event in which pilots are required to climb quickly and execute a steep left bank to avoid flying over the White House.
The coolest thing about National is Gravelly Point. See the patch of green on the spit of land at the end of the runway above? That’s a public park. Its awesome to be there when the planes are landing from that direction, especially at night. Standing right below the airplanes as they skim just a couple of hundred feet above you at over 150 mph is a powerful experience you can’t find at any other airport. An example of what its like is below courtesy of YouTube.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Reason 699 to HomeSchool: Social Studies Teacher Won’t Be a Stripper UPDATED: Droelle Still Stripping
Apr 9th
Michelle Droelle has spent much more time on the pole than she has as a teacher at Kellam High School in Virginia Beach. In fact she used to run an escort service. The Verizon Yellow Pages has lots of listings tying Michelle to escort services in town, including this one.
From the Pilot here:
At least eight ads in the Yellow Pages that hawk exotic entertainment by female companions lead callers to numbers belonging to a teacher at Kellam High School in Virginia Beach.
The numbers used to reach Penthouse V.I.P. , Exotic Playmates, Exotic Sinsations, Fantasies, Sweet Pleasures, Party Girls, Oasis Escorts and Delilah’s are all registered in the name of Michelle Droelle, a 33-year-old social studies teacher in her first year in the classroom at Kellam. The ads appear in the 2007 edition of the Verizon Yellow Pages.
Droelle insisted she left the escort business two years ago before she started teaching but neglected to take the phone lines out of her name.
Calls to phone numbers linked to Droelle reach an operator who refers callers to a Web site that features photos of a dozen young women in provocative poses and various states of undress. The operator explains that for $100 cash, one of the “girls” will meet the caller at the location of his choosing and stay for one hour, during which she will strip naked, perform a lap dance and floor show, and provide companionship.
The article goes on to point out that Droelle didn’t exactly break any laws. But when old whores and strippers get long in the tooth and need to be put out to pasture, I don’t want that pasture to be a public school classroom.
UPDATE! It turns out that Droelle is a big fat liar in addition to a whore. She was still in the escort business.
The Virginia Pilot found receipts for escort services signed by her dating back to last month. Droelle quit before she could be fired.
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(1 votes, average: 3.00 out of 6) Loading ...Sniper Fire in Virginia
Mar 27th
Unlike Hillary Clinton, residents of Virginia are being targeted by Sniper fire. Again. Some loon is shooting at cars at the junction of Route 29 and I-64 near Charlottesville. What is it about Virginia that attracts crazed snipers anyways? When the snipers were running around the region after 9/11 I was one of the guys that would only get gas at stations far from the beltways and would pump gas while sitting in the car or crouched behind the car door.
In the mean time, the Clinton campaign released this video below to show that she really was under sniper fire and other war-time dangers during her trip to Bosnia.
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(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...Snakes on a Plane at Dulles! OMG, Run!
Mar 25th
An Arlington VA High School coach was bitten by a rattlesnake that had somehow stowed away in his airline luggage.
From the AP here:
A high school coach emptying his luggage after a team trip to South Carolina was bitten by a small rattlesnake that had somehow gotten into his bag, authorities said.
Andy Bacas was stable condition at Inova Fairfax Hospital.
Bacas, a rowing coach at Yorktown High School in Arlington, told authorities he felt a sharp pain on his hand Monday when he reached into his luggage. He then saw the nearly foot-long snake and slammed the suitcase shut.
Fire and rescue workers took the suitcase outside, opened it and blasted the snake, identified as a juvenile canebrake rattler, with a carbon dioxide fire extinguisher. The chemical essentially froze the animal to death.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Man Hides Heroin Pellets
Mar 12th
Up his ass. He put them there in Panama, then drove all the way up Central America, across Mexico, across Texas, the Gulf states, through Georgia, and up I-95 through the Carolinas. His destination was Norfolk, VA, where he intended to sell his feces-slathered butt-bullets full of sticky heroin for 100 bucks per gram. He was 50 miles from his destination when the cops pulled him over for a traffic infraction.
Obviously, he couldn’t sit still and the cops thought he was nervous so they called in the k9 units. From the Daily Press here:
A Georgia man is in prison in Norfolk after state police stopped him on Interstate 95 near Emporia with his rectum crammed full of heroin pellets that he said he planned to sell in Norfolk for $100 per gram.
Gary C. Swinney, 39, appeared in U.S. District Court on Monday. The FBI plans to prosecute him in federal court.
Swinney was arrested on Friday after a traffic stop on I-95. According to the FBI affidavit, when the state trooper believed the driver was acting nervous, he used a drug-sniffing dog to check him. This led to the discovery of 22 heroin pellets hidden in pouches within Swinney’s underwear. Police then took him to a hospital in Emporia, where X-rays showed more pellets hidden in his rectum. The affidavit says Swinney was “medically treated” to remove 27 pellets of heroin.
According to the affidavit, Swinney told investigators he planned to sell the heroin in Norfolk
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