I can't believe that came from your mouth!
Stupid People
Idiots, morons, and assorted stupidity
Buffet Plus Ghetto Women Equals Shoe-Throwing Slugfest
Feb 21st
Rob sent me this link reminding me how awful Detroit is. The city has a couple of major casinos, but I don’t think they attract the type of clientele that Vegas does. Look what happened to the buffet:
Melee at MotorCity Casino Hotel Caught on Tape: MyFoxDETROIT.com
The original YouTube video is here:
No restaurant brawl is complete without the massive buttcrack and the victorious waving of the wig. Thanks to Robb for the tip!
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Idiot Child Can’t Handle His Four Loko
Feb 21st
Pity poor Mikey Truluck- he sucks at drinking, puking and sitting upright in a car. Someone bought this 13 Year Old a Four Loko, and when he drank it, he apparently fell out of a moving car attempting to puke. Such is life in Baltimore. And yet, rather than blame his parent’s lack of supervision or the bad crowd the kid was hanging around with, the Press and this dead kid’s fat mom are blaming the manufacturer of the adult beverage.
From the DailyMail here:
Teenager dies after drinking Four Loko when he opened car door to throw up, fell out and was hit by oncoming traffic
A 13-year-old boy who died falling out of a moving car while throwing up after being fatally stuck by a passing vehicle was drinking controversial alcoholic beverage Four Loko.
Eighth-grader Michael Truluck, of Baltimore County, Maryland, got his hands on the drink that was banned in nearby Baltimore City for its potent mix of caffeine and alcohol.
Baltimore County Police told ABC News the car carrying Truluck was making a turn out of the Auto Zone parking onto a busy highway in Parkville on Saturday evening when the accident occurred.
The driver of the car that hit him stopped at the scene, the station reports.
Truluck was a student at Parkville Middle School in Baltimore County and uncle to his older sister’s 15-month-old son.
Mrs Keys said her son’s friend confirmed an adult in the neighbourhood had purchased the drink
Each 23.5oz can of the fruity drink contained 12 per cent alcohol – the equivalent to about four cans of beer – and 135 milligrams of caffeine, or two cups of coffee.
The Food and Drink Administration issued letters to four companies which produced caffeinated alcoholic drinks last November, saying they were ‘unsafe’.
Four Loko is an adult beverage that tastes like cat puke. Little kids shouldn’t be drinking it. Its not the beverage manufacturer’s fault that this kid was an idiot. And bad moms shouldn’t let their 8th grade kid go joyriding with the neighborhood riff raff.
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Whitney Houston Posthumously Outed as a Lesbian by a Gay Reporter
Feb 19th
Anytime a Hollywood Diva dies, gay men fall to pieces because its always about them. Case in point is Peter Tatchell who was so heartbroken by Whitney’s drug-addled demise he declared that she was a bush-licking lipstick lesbian who only entered into an abusive marriage with Bobby Brown to “improve her image.”
From the DailyMail here:
I have, in the past, declined to name Whitney’s female partner. But most of the media have since named her as Robyn Crawford.
When I met them, it was obvious they were madly in love. Their intimacy and affection was so sweet and romantic. They held hands in the back of the car like teenage sweethearts. Clearly more than just friends, they were a gorgeous couple and so happy together. To see their love was infectious and uplifting.
Whitney was happiest and at the peak of her career when she was with Robyn. Sadly, she suffered family and church pressure to end her greatest love of all. She was fearful of the effects that lesbian rumours might have on her family, reputation and career. Eventually she succumbed. The result? A surprise marriage to Bobby Brown.
The marriage was a disaster. Bad boy Bobby was never her true soul mate. Giving up Robyn – they’d been inseparable for years – must have been emotionally traumatic.
Whitney’s life started going downhill soon afterwards. It seems likely that the split with Robyn contributed to her substance abuse and decline. There is a known correlation between denial of one’s sexuality and a propensity to self-destructive behaviour. Homophobia undoubtedly added to the pressures on Whitney and hastened her demise.
Silly gay man. Drug abuse, sexual promiscuity and addiction are a result of trauma, usually from childhood. And attraction to abusive partners is usually the result of attempting to recreate the type of relationship that created the originating trauma. Anyone who has listened to a few hours of Loveline with Dr. Drew or read any of his books on addiction would know this.
But this gay writer who tried to out Whitney so desperately wants to imprint on a Hollywood legend like Judy Garland or Bette Midler, he is going out of the way to try to make her death somehow include him. And if, on the day the diva gets planted in the dirt, making up silliness about her scissoring her assistant gets the job done, then he can be the happiest twink in the land.
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Tony Bennett Wants to Legalize Drugs to Prevent Celebrity Deaths or Something
Feb 15th
In the wake of Whitney Houston’s flame out, Tony Bennett found a microphone and urged a crowd of people to push for the legalization of all street drugs because he couldn’t handle another Amy Winehouse death, or Michael Jackson death or Whitney Houston death.
What Tony actually said was:
“First it was Michael Jackson, then Amy Winehouse, now the magnificent Whitney Houston. Let’s legalize drugs, like Amsterdam, it’s a very sane city now. I’d like to have every gentleman and lady in this room commit themselves to get our government to legalize drugs, so they have to get it from a doctor, not just some gangsters that just sell it under the table.”
Aren’t lounge singers cute when they try to pretend to be smart? Michael Jackson was put down by a doctor, Whitney OD’ed on booze and pills and Winehouse had alcohol poisoning. None of them were smoking crack or shooting heroin. The drugs they took were all legal and doctor prescribed.
Rob Taylor wrote an excellent piece on this for Red State. He said:
Tony Bennett illustrates the true drug problem in America which is our lack of real education about drug abuse. None of the deaths he complains about would have been stopped by legalizing illegal drugs. People don’t abuse drugs because the drugs are illegal, they abuse drugs because they are addicts or troubled or in some cases because they’ve been told by groups like NORML that drug abuse is consequence-less.
This message of consequence-free drug use–the mythical “victimless crime”–has seeped into every part of our culture. We have doctors prescribing highly addictive drugs like Xanax to children and wonder why death by drug overdose is on the rise.
It’s time to reengage the drug war as not just a legal issue, but an educational, cultural, and moral issue for which conservatism is the answer. The Tony Bennetts of the world cannot be allowed to spread these Cheech and Chongisms to another vulnerable generation.
Its no real surprise that Tony Bennett is talking out of his ass. A week after 9-11 he told Howard Stern that America deserved to be attacked and that we were terrorists too.
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Fools in Ontario Still Worried About WiFi
Feb 14th
Pity the children of Ontario. The adults in the province are themselves so uneducated that they believe that the radiation from wifi hotspots will give kids cancer. Back in 2010 I wrote about the idiots up in Ontario led by a woman named Susan Clarke who led the charge to rip wifi out of schools in Barrie. I think she has influenced a large Catholic Teachers’ Union to do away with the technology in all of the Catholic schools.

Ontario adults typically wrap their noggins in tin foil. Wifi waves bake their brains eh.
From the DailyCaller here:
Wi-Fi has found its way into classrooms across Canada, and the Ontario English Catholic Teacher’s Association (OECTA) believes it “may present a potential health and safety risk or hazard in the workplace,” the National Post reported.
The union’s statement, released earlier this week, targets the increase of wireless devices such as iPads in primary education facilities. Wireless Internet has been made available in 81 school districts in Ontario over the past three years.
“The safety of this technology has not thoroughly been researched and therefore the precautionary principle and prudent avoidance of exposure should be practiced,” the statement read.
“We’re not saying rip them out of the building,” OECTA President Kevin O’Dwyer clarified. “My sense is that there’s enough doubt out there that we should hold off until there’s more research.”
How absolutely retarded of Kevin O’Dwyer. There is more radiation from living inside a brick home than you can derive from electronic wireless communications. But check out the bullshit pseudoscience these addled grownups quote in their position paper here:
Effects from Exposure
There are reports of a number of immediate biological effects that are experienced with exposure, such as; headaches, nausea, dizziness, difficulty concentrating, weakness, pressure in the head, and a racing or fluttering heart (tachycardia).Moreover, students are considered to be more susceptible to microwave radiation because of their age and their earlier stages of development.
Implementation of WiFi technology in schools will produce unprecedented exposure to microwave radiation of approximately 6 hours each school day, 5 days a week, for 40 weeks each year. This will be without any studies being done to determine the effects of either the short-term or long-term effects of this microwave exposure on adults as well as children.
Electromagnetic Hypersensitivity
A portion of the population are estimated to be affected in some way by an environmental sensitivity called electro-hypersensitivity, which is an increased sensitivity to non-ionizing radiation, and may become ill when WiFi is initialized.
Of course there is no proof of any of these outlandish and idiotic claims. And note that it mirrors perfectly with the claims I wrote about in 2010 with Susan Clarke. I’m certain she is behind this junkscience claim.
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Possum Pirouette of Doom!
Feb 14th
A washed up ballerina and actress was driving in Los Angeles and spotted an injured possum. The crazy woman left her car running and ran into the street to help the animal and she was rewarded by being struck by two vehicles and dragged for 600 feet.
From the DailyMail here:
A renowned former ballet dancer and actress was fatally hit by two vehicles and dragged more than 600ft along the road after getting out of her car in an apparent attempt to help a wounded animal. Zina Bethune, 66, whose married name is Zina Feeley, was driving near Griffith Park in Los Angeles, California, when she saw what she thought was a wounded animal.
She left her Lincoln Town Car running on Forest Lawn Drive early on Sunday morning and got out to help what turned out to be a dead possum, when she was hit by an eastbound vehicle.
Ms Bethune was then thrown into the opposite lane, where she was hit by another vehicle that dragged her body more than 600ft, police said. She had severe head injuries and died at the scene.
What a stupid way to die. Bethune can be scraped up with a snow shovel and tossed right over the fence into Forest Lawn cemetery since that was where she became roadkill.
This reminds me about the time I fired an employee for playing with dead kitties.
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Black History Month: Grammy Award Given to Misogynist
Feb 12th
Chris Brown the R&B superstar, mostly famous for beating up Rihanna, was given a grammy because, well if he didn’t get it the award would have gone to R Kelley who pees on underage girls. Check out some of these great tweets by Team Breezy, advocating the abuse of women. Many thanks to Twitter’s @fart for assembling this disturbing tweetlist.
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Whitney Had Two Crappy Bodyguards
Feb 12th
Whitney Houston, a washed-up singer and actress, got blitzed on booze at a Hollywood party, then swallowed a few Xanax and drowned while trying to take a bath. All while TWO bodyguards were nearby. The only thing more hilariously pathetic than that is that Twitter rumors said she had been stung to death by wasps.

Whitney's bodyguards should have been slow dancing with her, NOT watching as she destroyed herself with drugs and booze.
Whitney’s assured self destruction was a long time coming and everyone knew it. Those hilarious tweets about the wasps? Below.
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American Psychiatric Association: No Such Thing As Aspergers
Feb 10th
Freaky, soulless, self-absorbed asshats, yes. Aspies, no. The APA is doing away with a clinical diagnosis of Aspergers since no one can figure out what the hell it is or if it actually exists. There will just be autism on a graduated scale.

In this famous action sequence, a selfish child that has no soul conceives of an idea that he is afflicted with a special disease that will excuse all of his horrible selfish behavior.
From the DailyBeast here:
Asperger’s, Overdiagnosed, Ill Defined, May Not Be a Syndrome Much Longer
Psychiatrists working on the latest edition of their profession’s diagnostic manual are thought to be tightening the definition of autism and dispensing with Asperger’s completely.
It’s a reasonable question to ask in the midst of the furor over the American Psychiatric Association’s proposed changes to the way autism spectrum disorders are diagnosed. According to the plan, the APA’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, the profession’s standard diagnostic reference for mental disorders will not contain Asperger’s syndrome at all. Instead, all diagnoses of autism—of which Asperger’s is currently considered a subset—will be collapsed together onto one spectrum, and rated in gradations from mild to severe.
For all its clinical and cultural resonance, Asperger’s syndrome is still only a recent addition to the American diagnostic vocabulary. In the 18 years since it arrived, no one has been able to agree on what it is.
So Gary McKinnon, famed Aspergers sufferer who is using his self-diagnosis to prevent being extradited to the United States to face criminal charges, is now considered by the APA to be merely “daft” rather than having a real disease. Eat it, AssPies.
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Idiot Florida Boys Die Car Surfing
Feb 6th
The tragedy of the youthful feeling of invulnerability. Lots of boys do really stupid stuff when they are young. I was no different. Somehow, despite my own foolish best efforts, I made it to my twenties a learned to chill out and stop taking stupid risks. Carlos Velazco and Hunter Perez, both 18, are dead because they stood on top of a SUV speeding 70 MPH down a Florida dirtroad.
Teen avoids jail time for fatal crash: MyFoxORLANDO.com
From the Mail here:
A court has seen a dramatic video revealing the final moments of two teenagers who died while ‘car surfing’ before the SUV overturned and burst into flames. Carlos Velazco and Hunter Perez, both 18, were clinging to the side of their 19-year-old friend Joshua Ritter’s speeding car in DeBary, Florida.
One teenager is heard saying on the video: ‘If I died, remember this is Carlos’s idea.’ Another voice on the tape says: ‘This is insane.’ Moments before their car overturned one of the teens his heard screaming: ’Whoa, Stop.’ The footage then goes blank.
Joshua Ritter, 19, was sentenced to one year of house arrest and five years’ probation.
Tosh doesn’t do web redemptions for dead idiots, at least not yet. At least they died while car surfing and not grocery cart surfing.
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Not-So-Happy Meal
Feb 5th
A North Carolina Mom learned the hard way what happens when you try to perform a denial of service attack on a McDonald’s Drive Thru by parking your car at the window and refusing to move. You get TASED and your kid goes to foster care.
From the DailyMail here:
Police used a Stun Gun on a woman who had been blocking a McDonald’s drive-thru for more than 20 minutes. Evangeline Lucca, 37, had cut the line and refused to leave before she was served.
Employees, meanwhile, refused to attend to Lucca because she cut the queue.
Lucca bypassed the order screen and the line at the fast food restaurant, instead pulling directly up to the pick-up window Friday afternoon. They told her she had to go around and wait like everybody else did and place her order that way, they weren’t set up at the that window to taker her order.
The woman still refused to move, and police were called after that. Employees told the paper that Lucca often tried to jump the line, but that they finally got sick of it.
When the deputies arrived, they said she was ‘defiant’ to them and was threatening them. Deputies then performed a ‘drive stun’ on her, meaning the device was applied directly to her skin, rather than firing the Taser cartridge.
Her three-year-old daughter was with her and was taken into protective custody.
Stupid woman waited 34 years to have a daughter, she can wait 5 minutes to buy her child a freakin’ Happy Meal. Now she can wait for visitation rights. Actually, I’ve often been tempted to find out what would happen if you blocked a fast food drive-thru lane. Nice to know now that I shouldn’t try that.
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You Need Mineral Rights to Sell Ice?
Feb 2nd
Back before there were refrigerators, ice sellers would carve off portions of glaciers, river ice or whatever they could get their hands on to keep things cold. Now that we have refrigerators, it seems that this old practice is now illegal- at least in Chile. One enterprising go-getter was carving off ice from a glacier to sell as exotic ice cubes for drinks, and somehow ended up in jail for “theft.”
From the Guardian here:
Police hold man on suspicion of stealing five tonnes of ice from a glacier in Patagonia to sell as designer ice cubes for cocktails in bars and restaurants.
Police intercepted a refrigerated truck with an estimated £3,900 worth of illicit ice allegedly bound for whiskies, rums and cocktails in the capital Santiago.
The ingredients of ice are water, cold, and time. How the hell can you get arrested for stealing that? Its free and is lying on the ground. Nature will make plenty more! Is Chile really trying to claim that hundreds of millions of dollars of ice are creeping slowly across the ground? If ice is that valuable, they should just start mining it and selling it.
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Julian Assange Wants to Flee to Sealand
Feb 1st
Julian Assange is running scared. He is due to be extradited to Sweden to face charges of rape, but he wants to move his Wikileaks servers to a maritime location thinking that would put him outside of the law’s reach. Is Sealand still for sale?
From CNET here:
WikiLeaks investors are currently working on completing a deal to buy a boat that would house the controversial site’s servers in international waters, Fox News is reporting today, citing sources. By moving the servers offshore, WikiLeaks, which currently has servers in Sweden and Iceland, among other countries, believes that it will be able to evade U.S. law enforcement and save its founder Julian Assange from prosecution.
According to Fox News, one of its sources “within the hacker community” said that by moving the servers offshore, the site would be governed by maritime law, making Assange “safe” from prosecution.
“He’s not an idiot,” the source reportedly said of Assange to Fox News. “He’s actually very smart.”
Julian Assange is not an idiot. Know who else can operate outside of national laws on the open waters?
I’d love to see an act of piracy on the open waters taking out Julian and his Wikileaks minions. Avast!
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Storage Wars Turn Grim: Granny Bones Up for Auction
Jan 30th
Someone just couldn’t stand to get rid of Granny after her death so they stuck her coffin in a storage locker. Her rotted bones weren’t found until some jackass ran up the bids and stuck an unsuspecting buyer with something grim.
From WTSP here by way of DuckDuckGrayDuck:
Law enforcement in Clearwater found Bunch’s skeletal remains on Thursday inside a coffin nestled in a storage unit. Turns out the body may have been packed in there for 16 years, since shortly after Bunch died in 1994.
Before the discovery of the body, everything in the unit was going to be auctioned off because Fancher’s mother, who owned it, couldn’t afford to pay for it. The family also couldn’t afford to transport the grandmother to her final resting place in Alabama.
“[After she died], she was in a covered trailer parked by the side of the house for two or three weeks,” Fancher says.
In 2010, law enforcement in Pinellas County deemed the home where Fancher lives uninhabitable. Nearly a dozen cats were seized.
So what we have here are three TV shows mashed together: Bones, Storage Wars and Hoarders. Am I leaving a TV show out?
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DHS Monitoring Twitter; Ejects Chavs From US
Jan 30th
Alternate title of this post: When Idiots Converge. Leigh Bryan, a 24 YO doofus from Ireland, and probable chav, tweeted that he was going to “destroy america” and “dig up” Marilyn Monroe’s corpse. Upon landing in LAX, he was intercepted by customs and searched and then told that he was not allowed entry onto US soil. It seems he was watchlisted by DHS idiots who don’t understand that pasty white guys from the UK use terms like “destroy” to mean “get wasted.”
From the Mail here:
Two British tourists were barred from entering America after joking on Twitter that they were going to ‘destroy America’ and ‘dig up Marilyn Monroe’. Leigh Van Bryan, 26, was handcuffed and kept under armed guard in a cell with Mexican drug dealers for 12 hours after landing in Los Angeles with pal Emily Bunting. The Department of Homeland Security flagged him as a potential threat when he posted an excited tweet to his pals about his forthcoming trip to Hollywood which read: ‘Free this week, for quick gossip/prep before I go and destroy America‘.
After making their way through passport control at Los Angeles International Airport (LAX) last Monday afternoon the pair were detained by armed guards. Despite telling officials the term ‘destroy’ was British slang for ‘party’, they were held on suspicion of planning to ‘commit crimes’ and had their passports confiscated.
Federal agents even searched his suitcase looking for spades and shovels, claiming Emily was planning to act as Leigh’s ‘look out’ while he raided Marilyn’s tomb. Bar manager Leigh, from Coventry, and Emily, 24, from Birmingham, were then quizzed for five hours at LAX before they were handcuffed and put into a van with illegal immigrants and locked up overnight.
‘When we arrived at the prison I was shoved in a cell on my own but after an hour two huge Mexican men covered in tattoos came in and started asking me who I was. ‘They told me they’d been arrested for taking cocaine over the border. When the food arrived on the tray they took it all and just left me with a carton of apple juice.‘
They spent 12 hours in separate holding cells before being driven back to the airport where they were put on a plane home via Paris.
Aww, poor baby only got apple juice.
Yes, its kinda absurd that DHS thinks that they are catching terrorists by reading tweets. Its refreshing to see them fail at this as badly as their airport screening prevents terror too. As long as DHS continues to pretend that white males plant bombs, they will fail at their task.
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DC Female Cops Taze Retarded OWSer
Jan 29th
A video this awesome doesn’t come around often. Two female cops put the TASER beat down on a drugged up liberal bum who is camping illegally in McPherson Square in downtown DC. The dreaded-haired dope smoker is wearing an awesome Commie Red tshirt that declares “He Loves It In The Ass.” And that is exactly where the cops tased this fool.
In case you missed his tshirt, you’re welcome for the snip below:
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Taiwanese Animators Say Demi Moore is a Skinny Drugged Up Old Sow
Jan 27th
Or something like that.
Yahoo here says that Demi Moore was smoking salvia or something when she needed hospitalization. Boy this longest running episode of Punk’d just keeps delivering!
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Drunk Middle-Aged High School Principal Doesn’t Want Cougar as School Mascot
Jan 19th
Utah’s Corner Canyon High School’s student body got together and thought the school mascot should be a Cougar. The alliteration is perfect, after all- Corner Canyon Cougars sounds like a kick-ass football team to me. But no. Mary Bailey, the middle-aged principal who frequents bars to pick up young men in their early twenties, thinks that a cougar mascot would be disrespectful to the ladies.
From CBS here:
One Utah school district believes a cougar mascot would be insensitive to women.
The Canyons School District overrode the students top choice of a cougar mascot for their high school that is to be completed in 2013.
Would-be Corner Canyon High School students chose the Cougars as their mascot — a name principal Mary Bailey said carries an ugly connotation that is disrespectful to women.
In popular culture, the cougar is a sexually aggressive middle-aged woman who attracts younger men.
The school board, which consists of six men and one woman, thought the Charger would be more appropriate, which was on the ballot but failed to appeal to students as the cougar had.
Lame. The kids should all show up to school in cougar print.
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