Remember, you can’t fire your RPG if you are making fart sounds with your armpits.

I didn’t have time to write a poem for @amandapalmer but we did this: youtube.com/watch?feature=…

— GregGutfeld (@greggutfeld) April 23, 2013

From the DailyMail here:

A former tennis pro who fraudulently brought four children from the African nation of Togo to the U.S. and forcing them to work as slaves in his Michigan home was sentenced Monday to more than 11 years in federal prison.

Jean-Claude Toviave, who didn’t apologize when provided the opportunity to speak at his sentencing hearing in Detroit, also was ordered to pay two of the children $60,000 each. Prosecutors asked U.S. District Judge Arthur Tarnow to sentence Toviave to the maximum sentence within the guidelines, and he did, handing down a 135-month sentence, with credit for about two years of time served.

The four children emigrated from Togo in 2006 with fraudulent immigration paperwork that listed them as being Toviave’s biological children, which they are not. He enrolled some of them in middle school when they arrived. They now range in age from teenagers to young adults.
The victims said Toviave beat them with toilet plungers, broomsticks and electrical cords and starved them if they didn’t follow his orders. They were forced to vacuum, iron, cook, clean and shine shoes at the home in Ypsilanti, near Ann Arbor, for nearly five years until January 2011.

In a court filing, prosecutors said the 6-foot-3, 230-pound Toviave, who was a tennis pro in Togo until 1990, ‘savagely’ beat the children if their chores weren’t finished or completed to his satisfaction.

The nation of Togo has a large Islamic community, but the largest state religion is the “indigenous belief” system, which is typically animist, and other witchdoctor stuff. In other words, an even more stone-age religion than Islam. Just more proof that Africa is hell.

From the DailyMail here:

Saudi Arabia is considering dropping public beheadings as a method of execution because of a shortage of government swordsmen in the oil-rich kingdom.
A joint Saudi committee composed of representatives of the ministries of interior, justice and health has instead proposed firing squads for capital sentences.
The committee argued that the measure, if adopted, would not violate Islamic law, allowing heads – or emirs – of the country’s 13 local administrative regions to begin using the new method when needed.

Remember that Islam means misogyny.

For extra hilarity, Muslims bring in a doctor to check for a pulse, and if the bitch is still breathing, the masked mulsims come back to finish the job. This answers my question as to whether Muslim doctors take the Hippocratic Oath.

Thanks to SooperMexican

From DailyMail here:

Nine female polio vaccinators have been shot dead in two shootings in northern Nigeria.

Islamist militant group Boko Haram – a sect which has condemned the use of Western medicine – has been blamed for the attack.

In the first attack in Kano the polio vaccinators were shot dead by gunmen who drove up on a motor tricycle. Thirty minutes later gunmen targeted a clinic outside Kano city as the vaccinators prepared to start work.

Previously religious clerics had some of their followers stop receiving the vaccines saying that it would sterilise their children.

Boko Haram wants to impose Islamic law, or sharia, on a country of 160 million split roughly equally between Christians and Muslims.

Ah, the Muslims. Caringly re-introducing polio to the world since 1996.

From Alarabiya here:

A Saudi cleric has called for all female babies to be fully covered by wearing the face veil, commonly known as the burka, citing reports of little girls being sexually molested.

In a TV interview on the Islamic al-Majd TV, which seems to date back to mid-last year, Sheikh Abdullah Daoud, stressed that wearing the veil will protect baby girls. The Sheikh tried to back his assertion with claims of sexual molestation against babies in the kingdom, quoting unnamed medical and security sources.

It is well known that Saudi rapists can’t see women if they wear black tents in the 110 degree weather. The burka is simply boner-killing magic garments. Because Allah said so.

From FoxNews here:

At least nine health care workers in Pakistan have been murdered this week by militants who oppose the country’s polio vaccination program, which has now been suspended in the areas of the attacks.

The killing began in Karachi on Monday, when a supervisor of a polio vaccination team was killed. Four vaccine administrators, all women, were killed on Tuesday. On Wednesday, gunmen shot dead a female health worker and her driver in the town.

“Most of the polio workers were shot at point blank,” a Pakistani Intelligence officer said. “This is (a) typical style of Taliban.”

Militants suspect people working for the United Nations or non-governmental organizations that manage the vaccine programs are actually spies for the United States. Others mistakenly believe or spread the false claim that the polio vaccine will make children sterile.

Militants targeted the polio campaign last year after unverified reports surfaced that Dr. Shakil Afridi had helped the CIA run a fake polio campaign in the northwestern city of Abbottabad to gather DNA from the Bin Laden compound. The campaign was in fact for Hepatitis B, but militants still view the anti-polio vaccine as American poison.

Pakistan ranks second among the three countries where the polio threat still exists, ahead of Afghanistan and behind Nigeria. Efforts to eradicate polio in Pakistan have thus far proven beneficial, officials said, reducing the number of cases by 70 percent.

Shocker the top three countries where polio is still rampant are all Islamic-controlled. Science and enlightenment threatens Islamists’ hold on society.

From the DailyMail here:

Blood is seen on the floor of a mosque as Indian Shiite Muslims flagellate themselves during a holy procession.
Muslims all over the world pay their respects with the flowing of their blood as they mourn the slaying and martyrdom of Imam Hussein, the grandson of Prophet Mohammad.
He was killed by his political rivals along with 72 companions in the seventh century battle of Kerbala where some of the bodies of the dead were then mutilated.

This next photo looks like the freaking zombie apocalypse, but no, its just idiotic shirtless muslims. And yes, they do this to little kids too.

Know what’s funnier than muslims beating themselves up and cutting? Staph, HIV, and Hep C. Women aren’t allowed to participate in this except to clean up, which is exactly what they will do if they know what’s good for them.