I can't believe that came from your mouth!
Movies
Paramount Fires Tom Cruise
Aug 23rd
Tom can go make movies for someone else, but he is not welcome at Paramount. It seems that his erratic behavior over the past year or so has soured him to the studio.

From Reuters here:
LOS ANGELES (Reuters) – Paramount Pictures and actor Tom Cruise called an end to their 14-year production deal on Wednesday as the chairman of the studio’s parent company took a parting shot at the movie star’s off-screen behavior.
“As much as we like him personally, we thought it was wrong to renew his deal,” Viacom Inc. Chairman Sumner Redstone told the Wall Street Journal in an interview posted online. “His recent conduct has not been acceptable to Paramount.”
Paula Wagner, the actor’s longtime partner in his movie company, Cruise/Wagner Productions, struck back at Redstone, calling his comments about the three-time Oscar nominee “offensive” and “undignified.”
“Whatever remarks Mr. Redstone would make about Tom Cruise personally or as an actor have no bearing on what this business issue is,” she told Reuters. “There must be another agenda that the studio has in mind to take one of their greatest assets and malign him this way.”
The truth of the matter is that Tom’s contract ran out with Paramount, and the studio offered him a new contract that was considerably less than what he was currently making. So Tom quit negotiating with the studio.
And while you cannot fire anyone over religious reasons in this country, I do think that Tom’s scientology was behind what the studio described as “erratic behavior.” Rumor had it that he threatened to cancel promotions on MI:3 if Comedy Central, a division of Paramount, aired an episode of South Park that criticized scientology. As a professional, you never threaten the people that bankroll you and expect to keep your job.
I think we will soon see the “Out of the Closet” episode of South Park air very soon now that the relationship has ended.
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Printer Movies
Aug 22nd
There is a great video hosted on Youtube of some soldiers treating a bad HP Printer like an Iraqi Insurgent. Apparently, the soldiers called HP tech support asking for some help with the malfunctioning device, and the soldiers were told they had to pay cash to get some help. So the Soldiers fixed it themselves. Oorah!
Click the photo to see the video or just click here. Hat tip to Jawa for the vid.
And next up we have the flip of Printer Abuse. In this case, an office worker gets a little uppity when she gets a paper jam. The Printer Transforms and gives her “Whut Fer.”
Click here or on the photo to see the video.
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Superhero Office Space
Jul 20th
Since I was talking about superheroes earlier, I found this funny mashup on Youtube, courtesy of Digg, that has the Superfriends re-enacting the opening of Office Space.
Click on the photo or here to see the movie.
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I See Bad Drivers
Jul 20th
That creepy kid from Spielberg’s horrible movie AI, Haley Joel Osment, wrecked his car at 1 AM. Seems he mistook a brick pillar for a lane on the road and he flipped his car. No word as yet why he didnt avoid the brick pillar or why he wasnt wearing a seatbelt.
The biggest mystery to me is why an 18 year old millionaire and academy award nominee was driving a 12 year old Saturn similar to the one pictured below??

Shouldnt he at least be driving a Lexus? Even a Camry would be an upgrade. See more of the story here at MSNBC.
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Batman Plays Robin’s Wingman
Jul 14th
So what happens when Batman insists on playing Robin’s wingman when Robin goes out on a date? Only Hilarity.
This short film stars two of my favorite actors, which both starred in Galaxy Quest, Sam Rockwell and Justin Long. Click on the Photo below or here to see the movie. Thanks to Transbuddha for the link!
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Oh Yeah! Spidey 3 Trailer
Jun 28th
Wow, this one looks good. It will have Spidey versus Sandman and the New Green Goblin, Harry Osborne. Peter and Harry will fight each other too, not just Spider-man and Gobbie. Gwen Stacy is in this flick, so that means that the poor girl will die tragically and accidentally at the hands of Spider-man, who will be under the evil influence of….
The Black Symbiant Costume! The trailer is here, and it is chilling how well it looks like they stay true to Spidey history. Is that Peter Parker trying to destroy his suit in a bell tower?
Sigh. 11 Months until May 2007. Thanks to OhNoes Blog Here, where he has some more cool screen caps posted.
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Superman Returns- Avoids Child Support
Jun 28th
If he could see the new Superman movie, Christopher Reeve would be rolling over in his grave- that is, uh, if he wasnt paralyzed. And dead.
Think that was bad? The new Superman movie is worse. The acting, the special effects and the directing was excellent, making this the best Superman movie technically and visually. Its the story that was so awful. That, and the forced comparisons between Superman and Jesus Christ.
Let’s start with the story. This movie takes place as a sequel to the first series of movies starring Chris Reeve. Superman had supposedly gone on a five year mission to see if pieces of the planet Krypton still existed, and having found little or nothing of value, he comes home, gets his old job back at the Daily Planet, and resumes his acts of do-goodery.
Superman is now a multi-cultural, globalist icon. There is one telling scene where the editor of the Daily Planet asks a reporter to find out if Superman “Still stands for Truth, Justice and… the rest of it.” The glaring omission of the “American Way” should be a blow to patriotic Americans everywhere.
Superman uses his superpowers to stalk Lois Lane, and he becomes a Peeping Tom using his Xray vision to watch her in her home, and uses his super hearing to spy on her conversations with her live-in boyfriend. Lois Lane has a kid too, and the child ultimately turns out to be Superman’s progeny who uses a piano to smoosh a bad guy.
I think one of Superman’s other super powers is the ability to avoid paying Child Support. He is Super Deadbeat Dad.
Meanwhile, Lex Luthor gets out of jail because Superman failed to appear in court to testify against Lex for his crimes in the previous movies. I suppose that Comic Book judges are even more brainless than real life judges. Lex brilliantly schemes and plots to wipe out America and create a deathtrap for Superman.
The comparisons to Jesus Christ could not be more blatant.
Superman, who was sent by his father to “save the hearts of mankind,” and who can float in the atmosphere and listen to the prayers and cries of humanity, sacrifices himself to save mankind from Lex Luthor’s schemes by willingly going to his death. After being beaten savagely by Luthor and his cronies as if it were a scene from the Passion of the Christ, Superman has his side pierced by a piece of kryptonite. And his hands begin to bleed as if he has a stigmata. Superman falls into the ocean after his beating in a crucifixion pose. Superman’s body is taken to a hospital where he clinically dies. A woman enters his private hospital room, past the centurion guard, to find the hospital room empty. Superman reappears to humanity and to Lois Lane, and in the final scene of the movie, he rises majestically into space.
If you are considering seeing this movie, bring a blanket and a pillow. Besides being preachy, there are long stretches of super boredom.
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Gore Movie is Eco-Flop
May 30th
With most of the Hollywood critics creaming their jeans over Gore’s movie Inconvenient Truth, you would think that people would be flocking to see it. Its the most important film in the history of cinema acording to Reverend Al and his sactimonious crew of eco-religionists, and just the mere purchase of a ticket would earn eco-sinners less time in Carbon Purgatory.
So everyone went to see it, right? Not everyone could get into the sold out theaters showing X-Men 3 and Davinci Code, right? Surely some dummies stuck around to eat popcorn in a dark room and at least accidentally saw Gore’s eco-flick right? Wrong.
According to the weekend Box Office Results, Gore’s Inconvenient Truth came in 19th out of the top 20 movies, beating only Art School Confidential, and it only earned 283 Thousand Dollars. Given the average price of tickets, this translates into less that 35,000 people that wanted to see Gore’s doom-and-gloom version of what is going to happen to the world.
So the real Inconvenient Truth that Gore should get to understand is that no one believes his chicken-little version of science. And if they do, no one wants to pay to see his power point presentation about it. And if his box office take is this low, his DVD sales will be abyssmal too. I guess his movie will go from the silver screen straight to YouTube where it belongs.
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Hoot is an Eco-Boxoffice Disaster
May 17th
Movies that are preachy about leftist ideals and eco-religion do not do well at the Box Office. Hoot, a kids movie which teaches youngsters how to be eco-terrorists and vandals is flopping at the movies. So far it has only earned 6.4 million bucks.

And the Critics Hate it. From RottenTomatoes.Com here:
“writer/director Wil Shriner gets so wrapped up in hugging the trees and kissing spotted owls that he forgets to put together an interesting movie that we can enjoy for more than its agenda. “
– Willie Waffle, WAFFLEMOVIES.COM
“This silly family comedy features some of the dumbest slapstick this side of the Disney Channel.”
– Jeff Vice, DESERET NEWS, SALT LAKE CITY
“From the ecological perspective, this family flick may have its heart in the right place, but in terms of intellect it leaves much to be desired.”
– Frank Swietek, ONE GUY’S OPINION
“Wil Shriner tries to adapt a Carl Hiaasen novel about kids standing up for owls and instead proves his ineptitude as a director.”
– Steve Schneider, ORLANDO WEEKLY
“The errant subplots go nowhere. The movie has an episodic TV quality so pronounced, I kept expecting commercial breaks.”
– Mike Russell, OREGONIAN
“Lame and preachy.”
– Steve Rhodes, INTERNET REVIEWS
“A big-screen adaptation that should have stayed on the printed page, where its charms are no doubt better served. Hoot isn’t a bad film but it is a shrug-worthy one.”
– Dustin Putman, THEMOVIEBOY.COM
I expect Al Gore’s movie will also flop in the theaters.
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Give a Hoot- Don’t Be Eco-Terrorists
May 1st
Other news articles are highlighting the upcoming movie, Hoot as a training manual for Eco-Terrorists. The basic theme of the movie appears to be, if you hate corporations and love animals, then be a vandal.”
I originally wrote about this movie here.
From CNSNews here:
New Movie Called ‘Soft Core Eco-terrorism’ for Kids
By Marc Morano(CNSNews.com) – Three middle school children band together, sabotage a construction site, gag a land developer and take him hostage. But their criminal conduct, aimed at saving the habitat of burrowing owls from “greedy land developers” isn’t reality-based.
It’s the subject of a new movie that one entertainment reviewer labels “soft core eco-terrorism” for kids.
The movie, “Hoot,” opens Friday May 5. It features environmentally conscious teenage characters vandalizing heavy machinery by stealing parts off of them and flattening tires in order to hinder a development project.
The teens, who ultimately succeed in halting the project, spray paint a police car that is providing security, trespass, rip up surveyors’ stakes, place alligators in portable toilets, release poisonous Cottonmouth snakes at the construction site and evade the police. The teenagers also debate stealing the construction trailer and sinking it into a nearby canal to further delay the project.
The film’s trailer urges viewers to “break the rules” and features one of the lead characters saying “You gotta start thinking like an outlaw.”
The burrowing owl featured in Hoot is not included on the national endangered or threatened species list, according to the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service. Instead, the owls are listed as “species of special concern” by the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission.
As a reminder, its very stupid to stand in front of a moving bulldozer. Just ask Rachel Corrie’s fanatical friends and parents.
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Al Gore is an Eco-Religionist
Apr 29th
And the failed politician even stars in a new movie all about this religion of worshiping the Earth and its Eco-System. The Movie is not out yet, but the trailer is here. Gore serves as the Preacher for this religion, and he tells everyone how we have all sinned by using nuclear power and oil. And corporations are evil of course.
Newsweek celebrates its 31 year anniversary on Climate Change alarmism over a probable pending Ice Age by doing a Puff Piece on Reverend Al and this stupid movie.
The trailer says, If you love your planet… If you love your children… You have to see this film. Its a bit disingenuous to phrase it that way, I mean, after all, who doesn’t love the planet, which is life, and who doesn’t love kids?
And of course, it has deep, ominous crashing sounds. And shots of giant cooling towers from an unknown Nuclear plant encroaching on some tiny neighborhood. I think its photoshopped. And isn’t Nuclear energy non-polluting to the atmosphere, which would never contribute to the mythical “Global Climate Change?” But of course, they have to show nuclear energy too, because in this religion, any use of energy is a sin, and Nuclear energy is the biggest sin of all.
The rest of the trailer goes on to try to blame Bush for Katrina, and for some reason, the trailer also shows a nuclear bomb going off. Is this supposed to be a movie, or is this a really long campaign commercial?
My prediction is that this movie is long on “problems” and offers no solutions. What does Reverend Al want all of us energy sinners to do? Vote for him so he can ruin our economy by forcing us to revert to an Agrarian Society? Didn’t Pol Pot try that with the Cambodians? How did that work out?
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Go See United 93
Apr 26th
The move about the heroes aboard United Flight 93 that refused to allow Moslems to use the flight to attack the Nation’s Capitol opens on Friday. Everyone should go see this film.
See the Trailer Here.
The reviews are already pouring in.
“When I compile my Top 10 list of films for 2006, United 93 will be on it, and almost certainly close to the top.”
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– James Berardinelli, REELVIEWS
“A few people made extraordinary use of those tormented minutes, and United 93 fully honors what was original and spontaneous and brave in their refusal to go quietly.”
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– David Denby, NEW YORKER
“Greengrass has made not only a thoroughly fact-checked film but a film that uncontrovertibly comes from the heart.”
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– Kirk Honeycutt, HOLLYWOOD REPORTER
“Taut, visceral and predictably gut-wrenching.”
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– Brian Lowry, VARIETY
“Their story is told with devastating realism, stirring up a fresh sense of horror and erasing five years’ distance from the attacks.”
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– Lisa Rose, NEWARK STAR-LEDGER
“[Paul Greengrass] keeps a cataclysmic story scaled to the vulnerable men and women involved.”
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– Lisa Schwarzbaum, ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY
“United 93 is a shattering, yet effective tribute to men and women who, when faced with unimaginable terror and all-but-certain death, dared to resist their fate using whatever they could get their hands on.”
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The Reviews Are In. Sharon Stone’s Basic Instinct 2 Sucks.
Apr 5th
But don’t take my word for it. According to Rotten Tomatoes, this looks to be one of the worst movies EVER.
| If you’re trying to reinvigorate the art of the stylish thriller, the movie you come up with needs to be stylish and it needs to be thrilling. Basic Instinct 2, written by Leora Barish and Henry Bean and directed by Michael Caton-Jones, is neither.” – Stephanie Zacharek, SLATE – Jeffrey Westhoff, NORTHWEST HERALD (CRYSTAL LAKE, IL) – Willie Waffle, WAFFLEMOVIES.COM
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Stupid Hollywood Whores: Part 1- Sharon Stone
Mar 29th
Sharon Stone, who is pushing 50 and a new movie called “Basic Instinct 2,” has made a huge splash lately in the news headlines with stupid comments that highlight two things- Sharon Stone is Stupid, and, Sharon Stone is a whore.
As a reminder, Sharon Stone became famous for her first Basic Instinct movie, in which she spread her legs on camera and showed the world her hairy hatchet gash.
Its too bad that Sharon Stone’s basic instinct isn’t to keep her big yap shut.
To prove she’s stupid, consider Evidence A- her naive views on Peace in the Middle East, which she declares is just a “Breath Away.”

From Breitbart here:
A peaceful co-existence between the peoples of the Middle East is but a breath away, Hollywood star Sharon Stone said after a highly publicized visit to Israel.
“It feels to me that we have an opportunity … to choose understanding in a new way,” she told a press conference in Paris when asked about her trip.
“And it really is just a breath. It’s just an agreement that’s just a breath. We are not far apart. We can choose to have this alternative kind of growth that is a collective nuance of understanding.
“We are just that breath away from a peaceful co-existence.”
What a friggin genius! Why didn’t the rest of the World figure this out before her? She said these wonderful pearls of wisdom after she prayed at the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem, once again proving that you can visit Israel and come back with your head still attached.
If Sharon Stone were to go to Gaza City and spread her legs to show the Palestinians her Holy of Holies, and then return with her head still attached to her neck, then the world might believe that there is hope for Peace in the Middle East.
Evidence B: Hillary Clinton is a ‘babe’ with Sexual Power. From Human Events here:
Stone said, “I think Hillary Clinton is fantastic. But I think it’s too soon for her to run. (for president) This may sound odd, but a woman should be past her sexuality when she runs. Hillary still has sexual power, and I don’t think people will accept that. It’s too threatening.”
The video of her making this statement, and I think I saw her drool a bit imagining Hillary naked, is here at Michelle Malkin’s site.
I know what people are thinking who have read this far- But Pat, her political views don’t make her a whore! No, but Evidence C suggests it quite well. From the Post Chronicle in the UK here:
Sharon Stone explains, “I was in the store the other day and I watched a young girl trying on clothes, showing her abdomen.” Her mother was trying to talk to her about not being inappropriately alluring.
I said, ‘Gee that would look much nicer with a camisole under.’ “Her mother walked away, and I said to the girl, ‘I’d like to give you a two-minute conversation about sex.’
“Young people talk to me about what to do if they’re being pressed for sex. I tell them (what I believe): oral sex is a hundred times safer than vaginal or anal sex. “If you’re in a situation where you cannot get out of sex, offer a blow job. I’m not embarrassed to tell them.”
Notice how she waited until after the mother walked away before she spouted this sage advice. If her mother was there, Stone would have been slapped in the face for saying such things. If I were to walk around the local Sears telling little girls that they should chug cock whenever they got a chance, you would see my picture on the local news! But Sharon Stone gets away with it because she thinks she is superior to the commoners.
Evidence suggests that Sharon Stone is a Stupid Hollywood Whore. My basic instinct is to save my money and avoid any movies where I would be forced to gaze at Stone’s gaping hole- her open mouth or any other orifice for that matter.
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