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Movies
Behind the Scenes with Stanley Kubrick
Jun 7th
Some of my favorite movies of all time were directed by Stanley Kubrick- The Shining, Full Metal Jacket, and A Clockwork Orange. And some of his movies I really disliked, even though I still liked his directing, such as 2001, Dr. Stangelove and Eyes Wide Shut.
And despite how much I like his skills as a director, I never got much of a chance to see him work behind the scenes. Was he a crazed genius? Was he domineering over the actors? Or was he quiet, preferring to work through handlers and editors?
Turns out he looks like an agreeable fellow. You can see an awesome behind the scenes documentary of Kubrick’s daughter, Vivian, which shows her dad and Jack Nicholson at work on The Shining, my favorite Kubrick flick. Jack and Kubrick at their very best! Click the video below to watch the 4-part series.
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Loading ...Larry and Laurie David Split
Jun 5th
Uber-eco-religionists Larry David and Laurie David are facing an inconvenient truth of their own. They no longer can stand to be married to one another. The question remains: Who gets the Prius and the family carbon credits?
From Fox News here:
After 14 years of marriage and two children, Laurie and Larry David have reportedly decided to call it quits, according to the New York Post.
The breakup has been civil, concerning no known third parties, the Post says.
Larry David is best known for his lead role in the popular HBO series “Curb Your Enthusiasm,” in which Cheryl Hines plays his environmentalist wife. He also helped create the now defunct sitcom “Seinfeld.”
Since Laurie David helped produce “An Inconvenient Truth” and other shorter documentaries on global warming, her popularity as an environmentalist has risen. Most recently, Laurie David has been traveling across the nation with singer Sheryl Crow in the “Stop Global Warming College Tour.”
Okay Larry. Quit being a woman. You know you want to drive a Hummer. Get one and show that frigid bitch the eco-finger.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...The Mach 5
Jun 1st
Like most adult men my age, I played with Matchbox and Hot Wheels die cast cars as a kid. I remember playing with one until it wore out, however. It was a replica of Speed Racer’s Mach 5.
Speed Racer was one of the first kids TV shows that came on in the afternoon. I remember getting cable TV for the first time and I was always plopped in front of it after school watching Speed Racer and Marine Boy. These were followed up by Ultra-man.
The directors of the Matrix are coming out with the Speed Racer movie. And they released a photo of the Mach 5, Speed’s car that could jump obstacles and drive underwater, and of course, win the big race with the help of the mysterious ‘Racer X.”
I want that car. Its hot!
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Lindsay Lohan is a Menace
May 29th
How can an underaged woman drink so much? Lindsay wrecked her $175,000 Mercedes because she was drunk and stupid. That car has over 600 horse power, and unless you know how to control it, that much power can put you in a ditch, a tailspin, or in Lindsay’s case, nose first into a tree and fence.
Click Lindsay’s Picture to hear her Celebrity Belch.
Now she has been charged with a DUI and surprise, surprise, there was a little nose candy on the scene too. So what does Lindsay do the following night? Get blind drunk of course!
From Fox News here:
Less than 48 hours after she was arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence and investigators found what they believed to be cocaine at the scene, Lindsay Lohan was at it again Monday, partying with friends until she collapsed.
The starlet wound up passing out in her SUV as gal pal Samantha Ronson, a celebrity DJ, drove them from an early-morning Memorial Day bash at a Hollywood hot spot.
Photos show Lohan stumbling out of the trendy club Teddy’s at the Roosevelt Hotel, then sprawled in the front passenger seat of her black GMC, her head lolling back, her mouth agape and her heavy-lidded eyes firmly shut.
Lohan was so out of it, a witness said, that she wasn’t even aware of the flashes from paparazzi snapping the photos.
The debacle seems to have prompted the 20-year-old to make another run at rehab. Lohan is expected Tuesday to check herself into the Malibu rehab facility Promises — of Britney Spears fame.
Lohan’s latest troubles began when she and Ronson sneaked in the back door of Teddy’s at about 2 a.m. and partied for more than two hours, a witness said.
When Lohan left, she stumbled through the back door and dropped her red sunglasses and cigarettes. She bent to pick them up and collapsed. A bouncer scooped her off the floor by her waist, and a freaked-out Ronson ran to get the car.
The bouncer placed Lohan, who had a cut on her left hand, into the passenger seat of the GMC — which had three plastic medallions from rehab treatment, each indicating 30 days of sobriety, hanging from the rearview mirror.
“She couldn’t stand up anymore,” said one witness. “She couldn’t even move when she got in the car. Samantha was poking her. She didn’t respond. She was totally passed out.”
Lindsay needs to be stopped before she kills someone.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Optimus Prime and Transformers High Res Images
May 11th
One of the movies I’m stoked about this summer is Transformers, by Director Michael Bay and Producer Steven Spielberg. With special effects done by Industrial Light and Magic, I think this movie has the potential to be a major blockbuster and the next big series of sequels. Check out the images of Optimus and all the Transformers on Michael Bay’s Official Blog here. Or click here to see the high res version of Optimus Prime.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Eco-Disaster Movies Flood Theaters
May 10th
For some reason, studios are producing a plethora of disaster movies based on Global Warming. And if Water World is any indication, such movies are going to be complete duds at the box office. Laughingly, producers are quoting the success of AlGore’s Inconvenient Truth at the box office for some sort of demand to make these films.
News Flash, Hollywood. That movie flopped. Why? Because hippies can’t afford movie tickets? Or because the American populace just aren’t into propaganda flicks?
From Cinematical here:
A movie is coming out called Otherworld, which features demons that are unleashed against humanity because of global warming. Now, producers Dino and Martha De Laurentiis have announced their adaptation of Frank Schätzing’s German novel The Swarm, which features aliens that are unleashed against humanity because of global warming.
Unlike most alien invasion movies, the aliens of The Swarm come from the bottom of the ocean. And unlike the underwater dwellers of The Abyss, these aliens are ticked off by pollution rather than nuclear weapons. Besides having to compete with the similar-sounding Otherworld, The Swarm will also have to follow in the footsteps of the badly titled eco-disaster movie from M. Night Shyamalan, The Happening, which features nature unleashed against humanity because of global warming.
To provide some perspective, Little Man, starring the Wayans guys pretending to be a midget pulled in 58 Million bucks. Al Gore’s movie? Only 26 Million. This means that if Global warming were black, smoked a cigar and dressed in baby clothes, twice as many people would be interested.
And its nice to see that M Night Shyamalan is finally going to deep-six his movie making career by making an eco-nut movie. Once the backers realize that Shyamalan is a black hole for money, he may never get backing for another film.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Spiderman 3 Was Goofy Marvel Team-Up
May 7th
Like many others, I saw Spiderman 3 on opening weekend. The movie pulled in almost 150 million on its opening, which is the all-time biggest open for any movie ever. At least until Pirates 3 opens later this summer.
As a Spiderman fan, I thought the movie fell way short compared to the last one. Director Sam Raimi and his writers blew the potential of a great story by not sticking to the original comic book storyline of the black suit.
In the original comics, the black suit bonded to Peter Parker, and once that happened, the suit would transform to any clothing style that Peter imagined. This would have been a far better mechanism for explaining Peter’s “emo” transformation in the middle of the movie.
Also, the suit from the comic books was far darker and had much more power over Peter. In the middle of the night, while Peter was sleeping, the suit would take Peter webslinging through New York to prey on criminals. These small facts about the black suit would not have taken up much time in the movie, and would have added much more depth to the alien suit than the movie portrayed.
In fact, one scene that should have been cut from the movie was left in, much to the embarrassment of all Spidey fans. What the hell was that stupid piano playing and dance number in the Jazz club about?
Also, I think that moviegoers understand that it is supposed to be Toby McGuire in the Spiderman suit. Yet somehow, Spidey only wears the mask twice in the whole picture. He is the only superhero with a secret identity that refuses to wear his mask.
Finally, the finale of the movie where Spiderman teams up with Gobbie Junior was about the dumbest Marvel Team-Up since Spidey joined forces with the cast of Saturday Night Live.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Grouchy Landlords
Apr 16th
I hated having a landlord. They would always make you feel so ashamed if you were just a couple of days late with the rent. Or they would call you up to nag about how tall the grass was getting.
But Will Farrell has it worse with his landlord. Click the image below to see a short movie starring Will Farrell and his Adam McKay’s adorable infant daughter.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Fall Out Boy Delays Tour
Apr 9th
Super Emo Band Fall Out Boy has delayed the start of their new tour due to “personal issues.” Hundreds of thousands of gender-confused myspace weenies cut themselves in protest today.
Rumors swirl around the announcement. Many think that Pete Wentz is going into rehab because he takes dozens of prescription pain killers and anti-depressants every day. Others think that there has been a major fight in the band and they are training a new drummer. The wildest rumor yet is that Pete is going on a honeymoon after his gay wedding.
But as an exclusive, I can report the real reason why the band is delaying their tour: Diction lessons. It is hoped that by the end of the four week class, Fall Out Boy’s lyrics will finally be understood.
Finally this video below will be correctly translated. Click the pic to see the vid.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Liberalism and Lack of Judgement
Apr 5th
I have been aware for some time now that the only so-called “sin” that a Liberal recognizes is if someone passes judgement on something, someone, or an idea. These same Liberals have no concept of God or the Bible, and in fact, reject the whole concept of good and evil. The only sin is judgement. Everything is morally equivalent.
If you make a bad remark about someone, they will instantly become insulted- not because you said something about them that they didn’t like- but because “you don’t know me.” Its because you presumed to pass judgement. To a liberal, its a sin. Its wrong. And if you make a judgement, therefore, you are wrong.
This lack of judgement is foolish and stupid. Liberals wish to achieve a utopia where there is no bigotry, hatred, sexism, poverty or war. But to do it, they embrace all that is evil, wrong, and doomed to failure. They think that by eliminating all judgement between the differences of right and wrong and moral and immoral they will achieve this.
Evan Sayet can explain it much better. Click on his picture above or here to watch the video. Its long, but over 200,000 people have watched it on YouTube. It is great truthy analysis. Thanks to FloppingAces for the link.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...New Maroon5 Album Coming Soon
Mar 30th
I was beginning to get worried. Many bands that win best new artist end up in absolute obscurity or generate really bad follow-up albums. And after “Songs About Jane,” there was nothing new from Maroon 5.
Their new album, “It Won’t Be Soon Before Long” is due out May 22nd. They describe it as “sexier and stronger,” gaining inspiration from 80s icons such as Prince, Michael Jackson and Talking Heads.”
They just released their new video for their single, ”Make me Wonder.” It sounds really catchy, and you can see the video by clicking the photo above. I’ll probably buy the album. I wore out the last album, plus my burned backup copy.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Smells Like Polycarbonate
Mar 20th
Two dogs, Lucky and Flo, employed by the Motion Pictures Association of America, the MPAA, are in Malaysia looking for pirated DVD’s. And they are meeting with some success. This is important because software and movie piracy is a security risk and a legal liability. And the worst offenders are typically far eastern countries.
From Reuters here:
A whiff of plastic led sniffer dogs in Malaysia to a cache of about one million pirated game and movie discs with a street value of roughly $3 million, film industry officials said on Tuesday.
The find was the first major success for Lucky and Flo, two female black Labradors deployed last week as part of Malaysia’s battle on illegal recordings of music and movies, said Neil Gane, an official of the Motion Picture Association.
The dogs are being given a month’s trial by Malaysian officials in a joint effort with the Motion Picture Association, which groups six major Hollywood film companies.
Fighting pirates in Malaysia is nothing new- in fact, its old hat for the United States. Even President Andrew Jackson dispatched pirate hunters to Kuala Batu in the early 1830′s to kill a bunch of pirates who were disrupting American trade there.
Old Hickory sent a warship, the Potomac, armed with forty 32-lb guns to destroy pirate forts. Marines serving on the Potomac went ashore and killed over 300 pirates.
And regardless what you think of the MPAA, entertainment is a commodity, and one which brings in billions in trade to the economy. It deserves protection from piracy just like our other goods. Now we use dogs before we start bombardment from offshore.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...300 Movie Was Awesome
Mar 17th
Just got back from seeing Frank Miller’s 300. Not only was it a faithful recreation almost panel for panel of the graphic novel, but it was an improvement of the story. The subplot about the Queen and the politician Theron was an addition that brought more intrigue and tension to the story.
The movie’s story is also pretty faithful to the true story of Leonidas and his Spartans. If you have not had the chance to read the background on the history of the Spartan stand, you can catch it at Wikipedia.
My favorite line in the movie was at the end when Dilios the storyteller was describing the sacrifice of the 300 in the face of a pending battle with the army of Xerxes and the Persians on the plains of Plataea. He says,
Should any free soul come across this place- in all the countless centuries yet to be- may our voices whisper to you from the ageless stones. Go tell the Spartans: Here, by Spartan Law, we lie.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Human Giants Spoof David Blaine
Mar 16th
I don’t hate David Blaine because he’s a magician. I hate him because he uses his street tricks to make people think he has supernatural or spiritual powers. That, and the eco-tool Leo Dicaprio thinks he’s a god too.
Well comedy sketch group Human Giants (often seen on Best Week Ever), have an awesome video that completely lampoons Blaine and the schmucks who think he’s cool. Click to watch the “Illusionators.”
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Steven Spielberg Had Stolen Rockwell
Mar 3rd
I wrote about the Art Crime Team and its efforts to locate a stolen Rockwell painting of russian schoolchildren. They found it. It was hanging on Steven Spielberg’s wall. He either has to give it back to the rightful owner or pay the owner for what it is worth. Chalk up another recovery for the ACT.
Sweetness and Light has the details.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Brangelina Takes the Net to Vietnam
Mar 2nd
Serial Adopters Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are in Vietnam with a big net, stalking the yards of the local “baby pound.” This time they are hoping to rustle up a Vietnamese boy around the age of 3.
From US Weekly here, again with mad props to BWE:
As Us Weekly first reported, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are in the process of adopting a child from Vietnam.
“Yes, they have started the procedure to adopt a child in Vietnam,” Vu Duc Long, director of Vietnam’s International Adoption Agency, confirms to Us Weekly.
Jolie and Pitt visited Vietnam last Thanksgiving, and toured the Tam Binh orphanage on the edge of Ho Chi Minh City. The couple reportedly wants to adopt a boy around 3 or 4 years of age.
I predicted this and even wrote a startling news article from the future here.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...New Fantastic 4 Trailer
Feb 28th
This looks incredible! This new trailer features a chase sequence between the Human Torch and the Silver Surfer. Behold the Power Cosmic by clicking on the photo below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Worst Oscars Evah?
Feb 26th
That seems to be the consensus. And unlike the so-called “consensus of scientists on climate change,” this time its a real consensus. Proof here, here, here and here.
I watched all four hours. Not really, my wife watched, and I sat on the chez with my nose in the laptop. But I could tell she was bored. And pissed too. Pan’s Labyrinth took way too many statues for such a crappy movie. Al Gore’s stupid science fiction movie was treated like it was the holy grail while better movies about AIDS in China, Iraq Documentaries and the Gay Meth Preacher movie didn’t get anything.
All of America rolled their eyes when Melissa Etheridge won for best music. I mean C’Mon! It beat Dreamgirls? Can the shallow political views of the Academy be any more apparent?
I love Ellen Degeneres, and thought she did a pretty good job. But was she wearing a velvet tux? And what was up with that Vacuuming skit? I hope she comes back next year, and also hope she is not so self deprecating.
Comedy Gold came when I pointed out George Lucas’ enormous jabba-the-hutt chin to my wife. She was totally freaked out by it and she was fixated on it the rest of the night, uttering over and over, “Why have I never noticed that? Is that a disease? Its so gross! He could get a tuck!”
Honestly, you know why the Oscars sucked? The movies this year sucked.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Movie Review of Pan’s Labyrinth
Jan 29th
To read other reviews, you would think that Pan’s Labyrinth is the best movie since Citizen Kane. It has even received a 96% freshness rating on Rotten Tomatoes. It was this high rating that made me want to see it on the big screen.
And I am very disappointed in the film. It was not a magical tour through a fantasy world of a girl’s mind, as it is most often described. It is a tour through the cruelty and viscera of a twisted Director’s mind. The part about a fantasy world seemed to have been thrown in to provide a separation in the non-stop violence depicted on screen. It was like watching a Dentist pulling teeth for two hours and occasionally you would say “Oh cute! Look at the faerie!”
The movie is about Ofelia, a ‘tween girl travelling with her very pregnant mother to go to live with her mother’s new husband, the very cruel and sadistic Captain Vidal. Ofelia, a huge fan of faerie tales, explores a nearby labyrinth and meets a giant talking billy goat who convinces her to embark on three quests so she can become the new faerie princess of the underworld. What follows is a lot of violence perpetrated by Captain Vidal, and much like the end of Resevoir Dogs and The Departed, everyone ends up dying. And as Ofelia laid dying, she imagined that she became the faerie princess of the underworld.
As some examples of the brutal violence, the director Guillermo del Toro had the fascist Franco soldiers under command of Captain Vidal shooting all of the wounded insurgents in the head. Two bullets each. There is an explicit torture scene, again courtesy of Captain Vidal, using a hammer to mangle a stuttering spaniard’s hand. Vidal also vividly beat a farmer’s face in with a wine bottle. And even when the evil Captain received his come-uppance in the form having his cheek split mouth to ear with a knife, the audience was treated to a prolonged shot of Vidal trying to sew his own cheek shut again with a fishhook needle.
The fantasy portions of the film were dark and creepy, and really only employed three major scenes. One scene is the labyrinth where Ofelia meets the faun. Another scene Ofelia must crawl through mud to forcefeed a giant bullfrog some pellets to cause it to puke up a key, and the third involves Ofelia and three faeries (two of which get their heads eaten off) who must enter a chamber to get a knife away from a monster.
So was the theme of this movie really about the horrors of war and its effect on a child? I really don’t think so. I think this movie was intended to shock and to “steal innocence.” The shock was in the form of the brutality of the violence. Ofelia’s sacrifice at the end was intended to represent a blood sacrifice for the sins of fascism, but even that came off poorly, and seemed more of a waste than a heroic deed. And perverting the childhood image of faeries for those that still treasure the idea of magical faeries is like telling a roomfull of 7-year-olds that there is no Santa. It is a tactless exercise in cruelty.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...I Feel Violated and Dirty
Dec 28th
My whole life has passed by so far without me sitting down on my living room sofa to watch violent gay porn. At least until last night.
We watched Jackass 2 on DVD. Those. Sick. Bastards! I was uncomfortable the entire time I was watching, and several times my wife had to leave the room. Once she puked in her mouth a little, but she’s pregnant, and I was surprised it didn’t happen more than just that one time.
But Knoxville’s gang of idiots have totally degraded from tasteless stunts to hard core man on man action. There was the streaking, the nut slaps, the glory hole and the snake, buttplay, and way too many ballsacks. I doubt I would have seen as much full frontal male nudity in most pornos.
Was it entertaining? Highly! I laughed many times, but I must confess that my favorite parts were when horrible injuries were inflicted. I took much delight when an anaconda munched on Johnny’s arm. But when it was over, I felt dirty.
Here’s to hoping they make Jackass 3, the plot of which should be a man orgy followed by the severing of limbs.
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