I can't believe that came from your mouth!
Humor
It makes me laugh
Its Getting Impossible to Buy Tickets at Ticketmaster
Apr 8th
Remember when you could just call an 800 number and get your concert tickets by phone? Well the web was supposed to make that process even more convenient. But with all of the credit card fraud, the security checks are getting redonkulous!
Source: encyclopediadramatica.se via Encyclopedia Dramatica on Pinterest
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Got the TShirt
Apr 7th
Saw this Tshirt over at RiptApparel and had to get one. Mixing Old School Nintendo with Beer Branding? They know me too well.
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Former President is on Yelp!
Apr 6th
Imagine my surprise at finding out that a former American President has reviewed a venue I’ve visited!
Awesome from DuckDuckGrayDuck
Best Yelp review EVER! – bit.ly/HvqxJa
— JJ Bugs (@DuckDuckGrayDuk) April 6, 2012
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Al Gore’s Network Responds to Olbermann Lolsuit
Apr 6th
Not that you could find the channel in your cable lineup, but there is this TV Channel called “Current TV” and it is owned by Al Gore and a cabal of like minded leftists. In an effort to make it the most hatefilled of the progressive television channels, they hired out of work Moonbat Keith Olbermann to do his Countdown show. Apparently Keith is a first class prima donna and a whiny bitch to boot so Current had to ultimately fire him. So Keith sued. Below is Current’s hilarious response to the lolsuit.
From Politico here:
Current terminated Keith Olbermann last Thursday for serial, material breaches of his contract, including the failure to show up at work, sabotaging the network and attacking Current and its executives.
As the old adage says: “When the law is on your side, you argue the law. When the facts are on your side, you argue the facts. When neither the law nor the facts are on your side, you pound the table.² We will be happy to engage on the law and the facts in the appropriate forum.
It is well established that over his professional career Mr. Olbermann has specialized in pounding the table. However, Mr. Olbermann, by filing his false and malicious lawsuit, has now put this matter into a legal process where there will be an objective review of the facts.
We hope Mr. Olbermann understands that when it comes to the legal process, he is actually required to show up.
I hope this entire clown rodeo costs both Olbermann and Al Gore into the millions of dollars.
Thanks to Jim Treacher who labeled this a:
Win/win. politico.com/blogs/media/20…
— ‘Jim’ ‘Treacher’ (@jtLOL) April 6, 2012
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Occupy Hippies Coming Back
Apr 5th
Now that its getting warmer, the unemployed college grads, aging hippies, anti-war retreads and other anarchists and leftists are dusting off their tents for the next round of Occupy Whatever. And they have a new theme song:
From TCPalm here:
Now that the weather has warmed up a bit, it’s time for all us loony-left liberals and aging hippies to dust off our tents and sleeping bags, grab our protest signs, crawl out of our parent’s basements (or wherever else we’ve been freeloading for the past six months) and get back to work. It’s time to Occupy Wall Street — again.
Naturally, we’ll want to bring along some contraceptives this time, for those “special” moments in between trashing public property and defecating on police cars. You can never be too careful.
And for all you college students who think you just can’t afford protection — it’s all covered under Obamacare, along with condoms, Viagra and all the abortion pills you can swallow.
Just ask Sandra Fluke. I’m sure you can find her at your local Democratic National Committee headquarters
I imagine liberalism feels quite a bit like getting a tongue-bath while roiling pot smoke circles you in a pyramid.
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(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...How to Opt Out of Google’s Privacy Policy
Apr 4th
It is very convenient and allows you to “toil on the hinterlands and die young.”
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(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...Ellen Tortures Emma Stone with Spiders
Apr 4th
Ellen is awesome, and is even awesome-er when she tortures Hollywood starlets.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Rush is Right: Chelsea Clinton is a Dog
Apr 3rd
Chelsea Clinton is certainly responding to dog whistles. The desire to keep up the attacks against conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh has Chelsea saying that Rush once referred to her as a dog based on her looks. But does Chelsea seriously think she’s some kind of beauty queen?
From the DailyMail here:
Chelsea Clinton has told how Rush Limbaugh made fun of her looks when she was 13 years old by comparing her to a dog.
The 32-year-old said she identified with Georgetown University student Sandra Fluke, who was branded a ‘slut’ and a ‘prostitute’ by the controversial talk show host, during a panel about women in politics last week. ‘She and I actually have something in common. We’ve both have been attacked by Rush Limbaugh,’ Clinton said, adding, ‘She was 30. I was 13.‘
The former first daughter was referring to the 1993 incident in which Limbaugh mocked the teenager’s appearance.
‘Socks is the White House cat. But did you know there is also a White House dog?’ he had said, before showing an image of the young Clinton.
LOL. Well, Chelsea does have her Mom’s cankles. And back in ’93, it certainly wasn’t a state secret that Chelsea was a total bowser. She was even lampooned by Beavis and Butthead.
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(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...Brendle What’s Maid Hate
Apr 2nd
“Brendle What” is a unique twitter account. He enjoys showcasing the vileness of hateful youngsters by retweeting their racist or elitist tweets. He was on a tear today retweeting the Maid Hate.
OHMYGOD MY MAID IS SO RETARDED;
— Gargi Mishra(@Gargixo) March 29, 2012
I’m so fucking frustrated right now I just want to mother fucking rant on and on about how fucking retarded my maid is. Omfg
— mavis (@akamavis) March 30, 2012
My maid is retarded , it’s fucking raining and she put my jacket into the washing machine. What the fuck-.-
— C ? R I N ? . ? (@_TEMPORARYBLISS) April 1, 2012
My maid is 14 years old, uneducated, forced to marry a deaf guy and somehow still has a smile on her face everyday!#inspiration
— Roukaya A. Nasr (@RoukayaAtef) March 31, 2012
Thank you cleaning lady for not vacuuming my hall floor causing me to step on glass and fuck up my foot.
— Windsey (@lindseylou_93) March 28, 2012
Y the fuck is the cleaning lady in my room right now being so loud and taking forever #imsleeping #leave
— Monique Terilli (@moeterilli) March 30, 2012
stupid cleaning lady threw away all my shopping bags and she organized my stuff in a wierd way -_- UGHHHH FUCK HER.
— swaggie? (@ayeitsamyxo) March 30, 2012
Yo why the fuck I gotta clean up for the cleaning lady! That’s so fucked up!!
— Jacob Bikshorn (@OldManBikshorn) April 1, 2012
Why the fuck is my cleaning lady just walking in now at 4pm? She need to learn how to be in and out before 12
— gonL aiN (@iFoundNar_Nia) April 2, 2012
Maid fucking pms-ing. Idiot. Hate that fucking face. Talking to her like talking to the wall.
— Amelia? (@Meliachua) March 27, 2012
My maid is so stupid omg she’s been giving my sister double dosage of medicine for two weeks. Goddamnit.
— Amanda(@italianmushroom) March 30, 2012
My cunt ass maid is getting fired finally!!!!!!!!! #thankthelord
— Erica ScottodiRosano (@ericascotto) March 28, 2012
“@c_gauth24: My maid is such a cunt. How about you actually clean my stuff. Your my, slave I pay you.” I FEEL THE SAME WAY BOUT MINE !!!
— Aja Duplessis (@ajaduplessis) April 2, 2012
My cleaning lady broke my shower door……what a bitch #firstworldproblems
— Kay Higgs (@Stuff_Kay_Says) March 28, 2012
Haha….the cleaning lady at work said the spiders on the counter not her problem….lmao…..bitch it is….that shit pose to be clean
— Candii Bee (@KissinCandii) March 29, 2012
Hate how my mom makes me clean my room before the cleaning lady comes…like da fuck are we paying the bitch for #comeon
— Dana Matedero (@Danaaa1020) March 30, 2012
my cleaning lady is singing… wtf bitch, just clean.
— mckenathomas (@miCkayyOfficial) April 2, 2012
Just walked into my room and realized the 900 things my cleaning lady did wrong.So furious I’m not sure whether to kill or deport her..
— Alex Johns. (@AlexJJohns) March 28, 2012
That’s it. I am gonna kill my maid. I swear. She’s gonna get it from. She fucking will. You’ll be dead bitch.
— NadiahEfendi (@nadiahefendi) April 1, 2012
Gads, the pure lack of respect for someone that works a thankless job is pretty jarring eh?
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(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...Goose Attacks Must Be Stopped
Apr 1st
I am always bewildered that humans take any sass from a hollow-boned marsh dweller like a goose. Seriously, they weigh 8 pounds. They have to roll a 98 or higher on two d10 just to cause a single hit point of damage.
And not all of these next ones are geese, but the same applies to any waterfowl.
And did you see when turkeys attack?
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Finally! Google Maps for the NES!
Mar 31st
Finally, the most neglected computing platform gets its own Google App.
Here’s my neighborhood in 8-Bit!
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Great News! More EngineerGuy Videos Coming Soon
Mar 31st
What’s been the delay? Well, according to this video, Bill is just a little clumsy.
And yeah, I kinda want this book too.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Scariest Easter Bunnies
Mar 30th
Kids are afraid of Santa, and usually with good cause. And kids are equally afraid of giant rabbits who mutely paw at them to the twisted delight of their parents. All in the name of Easter, right? And the Easter Bunny is even scarier with crappy bunny costumes. Check out the terrifying rabbits and the scared kids in this slideshow.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Remy Discusses Health Insurance
Mar 29th
I didn’t know, but my health insurance in Virginia will cover my hysterectomy. Why am I paying for that coverage? Remy explains more:
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Someone Get This Elephant an iPad
Mar 28th
This is a pretty amazing video of an elephant using a smartphone. Remarkable about how accurate and gentle he can be with that trunk.
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(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...Herman Cain Be Trollin’
Mar 27th
This is a pretty bizarre campaign ad, and I think its shocking and hilarious. It has all of the Democrats and Peta twats bent right out of shape, which is also a plus.
But the ad has definitely generated some backlash. From NYDailyNews here:
Be very, very quiet. Herman Cain is hunting rabbits.
The former presidential candidate is raising eyebrows after releasing a bizarre, anti-stimulus ad in which a rabbit representing small businesses is shot and killed.
The 37-second spot — which was briefly pulled from the Internet — opens with a young girl placing the furry animal into a basket and says, “This is small business under the current tax code.”
The rabbit is then catapulted into the sky and shot by a man holding a rifle.
“Any questions?” the girl asks twice.
The ad was temporarily taken down from YouTube on Monday. The site explained the “video has been removed as violation of YouTube’s policy against spam, scams, and commercially deceptivte content. Sorry about that.”
It’s not the first spot in which Cain used a dying animal to symbolize the distressed economy. In February he used a goldfish to represent the economy with the same girl. She throws the goldfish onto the ground, where it was left to flop around. “This is our economy on stimulus,” she states.
Personally, I hope he clubs a baby seal next or punches a manatee right in its scrunchy face. He cracks me up.
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Fabuloussss! Gay Couple Jailed for Buggery
Mar 22nd
A gay couple having sex in public view aboard their cruise ship were arrested by Dominican cops who have a very low tolerance for sodomy.
From the DailyMail here:
Two men on a gay cruise of the Caribbean were arrested yesterday in Dominica, after someone on the port spotted them having sex. In the country, sex between two men is illegal and the pair could now face a jail term. Police Constable John George said authorities boarded the cruise ship and arrested the two men on suspicion of indecent exposure and sodomy.
He identified the men as John Robert Hart, 41, and Dennis Jay Mayer, 43, but did not provide their hometowns.
If found guilty, they could be fined $370 (£233) each and face up to six months in jail.
The ship carrying about 2,000 passengers departed Puerto Rico on Saturday and arrived in Dominica yesterday.
It left for St. Barts without the men, who are being held in a cell at police headquarters in the capital of Roseau.
I can’t wait to see their story on Locked Up Abroad.
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Letting This BlogSpam Stay
Mar 19th
As a popular WordPress blogger, I get inundated with pingback spam from other online resources trying to take advantage of my keyword rankings to promote their own content. Everything from furniture to nailpolish to zombie makeup. I have to delete up to a dozen pingback comments per day. But I’m letting this one stay.
So if you’ve got gigantic man-tits like Fat-ass Barney Frank, this pingback spam is for you. I think maybe CheesePizza guy and @Myrcurial could benefit from this piece of fortuitous spam.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...It Must Be Maddening to Deal With Blondes
Mar 19th
Well, at least trying to have a conversation with them. This video is a knee slapper.
Click here to see a blonde solve Global Warming.
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Oprah Fired Rosie
Mar 17th
For five months, Oprah Winfree has been trying to make a go of having her own cable channel. For some reason, she hired the poisonous hostile liberal Rosie O’Donnell to gab for an hour or so a day. Ratings on Oprah’s dismal channel were even worse when Rosie was on the air so she had to go.
From Deadline here:
O’Donnell’s daytime talk show on OWN: Oprah Winfrey Network got the ax after five low-rated months on the air.
OWN went for broke with the launch of The Rosie Show, whose October premiere, along with that of Oprah’s Lifeclass, were broadcast on five Discovery networks. The struggling and money-losing OWN spent some $10 million to market the two shows, whose debut was touted as an unofficial OWN relaunch. That $10 million went where the previous $250 million+ in investment from Discovery went — down the drain. After an OK start with 500,000 viewers tuning in to the premiere, Rosie quickly lost more than half of that to average under 200,000 viewers for most of its run
Nothing makes me giggle more than liberals wasting millions of dollars on other liberals.
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