I can't believe that came from your mouth!
Humor
It makes me laugh
Someone Made the Pizza Planet Truck and Drove it to Pixar
Apr 26th
Simply beautiful. They took a capped yellow Toyota pickup, mounted a Pizza Planet light-up car topper, and toured around in the truck. They blogged their entire journey to Pixar’s campus in Emeryville, CA and were allowed to park the car next to the iconic ball and lamp on their campus grounds.
You can read about the whole build project and journey here.
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More Liberals Should Try the Sunshine Diet
Apr 26th
Some bullshit artist who calls himself a “guru” in India lied and said he has subsisted on just sunlight for 70 years. Of course he’s lying, but most liberals are too poorly educated to understand that Eastern Religions are full of more lies than Western ones. So some liberals are getting rid of all of their food and are trying to live on just sunshine. And the results are spectacular and hilarious.
From the NYDailyNews here:
A woman starved to death after embarking on a spiritual diet that required her to stop eating or drinking and live off sunlight alone.
The Swiss woman in her fifties decided to follow the radical fast in 2010 after viewing an Austrian documentary about an Indian guru who claims to have lived this way for 70 years. The woman died in January 2011 in the town of Wolfhalden in eastern Switzerland.
Good riddance. Hey maybe she was too far north to get the best direct sunlight! All you hippies out there working on your chakra should go try this diet south of the border where the sunlight is more tasty. Let me know how it works for you.
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Obama Needs a Campaign Slogan
Apr 25th
I like the Slogan “We’re all fucked, so enjoy the Volt.”
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We Make Holes in Teeth!
Apr 25th
My four-year-old boy asked me why he couldn’t eat candy before bedtime. Without really thinking about it, I explained that the Cavity Monsters would eat the sugar off his teeth and put holes in them. This shocked the boy. “Are cavity monsters good guys?” he asked. He is always concerned with the moral alignment of good versus evil and he wanted to be sure he is on the right team. “They are very bad guys,” I explained who stomp around chanting “WE MAKE HOLES IN TEETH! WE MAKE HOLES IN TEETH!” So I had to pull up the cartoons from the late ’70s and explain to him who the Cavity Creeps are.
So Cartney went to bed and brushed his teeth better than ever and when he hung up his tooth brush he declared “Cavity Creeps all dead!”
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The Sid and Nancy/Tom and Summer Mashup
Apr 22nd
I’m a big fan of the movie 500 Days of Summer and also love the Sid and Nancy movie. Here is Zooey Deschanel and Joseph Gordon-Levitt mashing up a key scene in both movies with some fantastic acting tossed in. Don’t know how I missed this vid when the movie came out a couple of years ago.
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Squishin’ Cousins
Apr 22nd
Uncle Rusty had an opportunity to watch all three of his young nephews, and he very quickly had them acting their hearts out for this cute video.
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StormTrooper Says What?
Apr 20th
Okay, who’s up for a nerdy take off on viral videos about sh*t people say?
I am, that’s who!
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Midnight Nightmare Music: Lisa Gail – “3 Second Rule”
Apr 19th
I was going to put up a brand new artist or some new song by a favorite beloved artist, but VEVO is down for the count after they failed at modernizing their site. So you are stuck with this ear-splitting song by this middle-aged harpy. She calls her song “3 Second Rule” because she allows guys to stare at her FUPA for only 3 seconds before they turn to stone.
So enjoy her bad dye job. Her horrible makeup. Her retarded cowboy dancers who I’m sure would have nothing to do with Lisa Gail unless they were getting paid. Love her belt. Gawk at her gawdy jewelry. Marvel at her costume changes. Ponder where they get tanning beds this big to brown her dumb ass.
I’ve got a 3 second rule for fat ugly singers grazing on school house lawns. And now I remember why I hate line dancing. At 1:26 you can see a fabulous camel toe!
At 2:35 who the hell is singing backup? Alvin and the Chipmunks?! At the 3:20 mark she walks out of the school bowlegged.
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Spoiled Bitches Have Hot Problems
Apr 18th
This is a seriously troll video I think, but one thing is certain- their obvious problem is lack of talent.
Via:
God help us. bit.ly/HQgcxb
— JJ Bugs (@DuckDuckGrayDuk) April 18, 2012
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Obama Ate a Dog
Apr 17th
So the Democrats and Obama fans are trying to criticize Romney and his family for putting their dog on the roof of the car in a portable kennel while on family vacations. Twitter fired back to remind everyone that Obama used to eat Benji on a regular basis while he was a muslim child in Indonesia.
#ObamaAteADogBut not the belly because that’s not HALAL
— Dr. Jones (@BelchSpeak) April 18, 2012
Barack, a Schnauzer is a dog not a German sausage. #ObamaAteADog
— Keith Fierro (@kjfierro) April 18, 2012
RT @GPollowitz: “Ask my dog if I engage in appeasement” #obamaateadog
— jacobkornbluh (@jacobkornbluh) April 18, 2012
#ObamaAteADogBelch.Com‘s Chinese Puppy Paw Recipe: belch.com/blog/2008/02/2…
— Dr. Jones (@BelchSpeak) April 18, 2012
Obama was a food critic with the Harvard Paw Review. #ObamaAteADog
— Nick Rizzuto (@Nick_Rizzuto) April 18, 2012
Obama ate the dog that ate his birth certificate. #ObamaAteADog
— Keith Fierro (@kjfierro) April 18, 2012
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I Like My Ketchup-Covered Crazy KeyWest Homeless Guy With a Side of French Fries
Apr 16th
Heh, this blog post title is longer than the story I can quote. But there are indeed a lot of crazy homeless lunatics roaming Old Town Key West. They are usually pretty harmless, but if you get ketchup on one, watch out!
From KeyNews.com here:
The island just isn’t what it used to be.
A man who was covered in ketchup, sprawled in the middle of an Old Town street and screaming profanities about tourists ruining his town was arrested early Wednesday.
The 42-year-old homeless man was charged with misdemeanor disorderly conduct and misdemeanor resisting arrest.
Should have covered him in hot sauce from Peppers of Key West!
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Bill Clinton Still Sniffing for Poon
Apr 16th
Bill Clinton showed up at the White House today after hearing that the Secret Service was now involved with Prostitution.
“Hey there fellas!” the former President declared to the Press Pool. “I hear there’s some trampy women around here!”
Obama suddenly looks like he needs some Excedrin.
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Taiwanese Animators Say Secret Service Members Caught With Whores
Apr 16th
A great treatment by the Taiwanese animators showing the misbehavin’ Secret Service Agents.
The guys who were busted buying hookers are neighbors in my community here in Northern Virginia. I don’t personally know them, but I imagine they are home with their wives lying their asses off about the extent of their involvement in the scandal. And I wonder if Sandra Fluke knows these prostitutes get free birth control?
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Zimmerman’s Portrait – in Skittles
Apr 14th
This is pure awesome, and perhaps the most delicious portrayal of George Zimmerman.
From Yahoo here:
A Denver artist has created a portrait of Florida shooting suspect George Zimmerman using more than 12,000 Skittles — the candy that 17-year-old Trayvon Martin was carrying when Zimmerman fatally shot him.
The 3-by-4-foot portrait was done by 31-year-old Andy Bell, an art student about to graduate from Metropolitan State College in Denver.
Bell titled it “Fear Itself.”
Via:
Artist Creates All-Skittles Zimmerman Portrait is.gd/4MBIxF
— Patrick Dollard (@PatDollard) April 14, 2012
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Hilary Rosen is Going to Jack it in San Diego
Apr 12th
If you caught the last episode of South Park, you will recall that the episode was about bullying people. Well Hilary Rosen, a lesbian Obama Campaign associate and media adviser, went on CNN to say that Ann Romney, as a stay-at-home mother, never worked a day in her life. She tried to bully Mrs. Romney to get her to silence her opinions about Obama’s failed jobs plans for modern women. That statement blew up in the Democrats’ faces, especially after their bogus White House orchestrated “war on women.” So the only thing Hilary Rosen can do now is fly to San Diego and “jack it” just like Kony 2012′s video creator Jason Russell.
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Herman Cain’s Big Gov’t Chickens Come Home to Roost
Apr 12th
Cain is still trollin’ the internets with awesomely bizarre videos. Behold the man-eating chickens!
Cain explains why these videos are so bizarre via Mashable:
When asked about the ads on April 10, Cain said, “If I went out there with namby-pamby ads to drive home a point, nobody would notice.”
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Jim Gaffigan’s Infomercial
Apr 11th
Comedian Jim Gaffigan is selling his latest standup special direct on the intertubes and this is his infomercial for it. Jim’s entire family is in the video, so be sure to download the special to help feed his brood of DVD-eating toddlers.
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Finally! Jailtime for Saggy Pants
Apr 11th
A judge sent some punk to jail for three days for showing up in court with his ass hanging out of his pants.
From the MontgomeryAdvertiser:
A Prattville man was given a three-day jail sentence Tuesday for contempt of court after his wardrobe didn’t pass judicial muster.
LaMarcus D. Ramsey, 20, was in Autauga County Circuit Court to enter a plea on a charge of receiving stolen property. Circuit Judge John Bush took exception to the fact that Ramsey’s blue jeans were sagging too low. The three-day stint will be served in the Autauga Metro jail.
“You are in contempt of court because you showed your butt in court,” a visibly irate Bush told Ramsey. “You can spend three days in jail. When you get out you can buy pants that fit, or at least get a belt to hold up your pants so your underwear doesn’t show.”
I’ve said it before. Saggy Pants are a stupid fad that only damages the image of the black community. Time for it to go away. Should be a ticketable offence.
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Spider-Man is Still My Hero
Apr 10th
Especially when he punches Al Gore in his fat freakin’ face. Via ComicsVanguard:
Man, I gotta start reading Comics again.
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Project Veritas Makes Eric Holder Look Like a Clown
Apr 9th
Its all about the voter ID laws that Eric Holder is trying to strike down in southern states. ERic Holder laughingly claims that there is no proof that anyone is committing fraud by not showing ID to vote. James O’Keefe beclowns this Attorney General to prove he is wrong.
Now lets watch the government try to arrest and harass James O’Keefe and his Veritas crew with false allegations over ID theft for impersonating Holder- and essentially proving that voter fraud is quite possible.
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