I can't believe that came from your mouth!
fail
Latest Eco-Maniac Fad? Drink Your Pee!
May 7th
I have said it before, and I will say it again. Eco-worshipping whackjobs are self-loathing copromaniacs who are obsessed with their own bodily waste. I have documented previously how they want to restrict everyone to one piece of toilet paper, want to flush the toilet only once per week, and even reusing tampons. They even want to ban flushing toilets altogether. They even made a battery that requires you to pee into it to power it, getting urine all over your fingers. These freaks think that two-ply toilet paper is more damaging to the environment than driving Hummers. Now these moonbats have invented a personal football-sized device they want you to use to drink your own pee- over and over and over again.
The website for this is here. Seriously, why are these eco-freaks so unimaginitive that they only think of body waste as the source of environmental contamination? Is it because they are so guilt ridden for having been born?
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Loading ...Virginia Prescription Monitoring Database Hacked
May 7th
So I think it works this way- The state government collects personally identifiable information on everyone who goes to a doctor to get a prescription drug, thus violating any doctor-patient confidentiality- in order to monitor for drug abuse. And then the government refuses to properly secure the database that holds all of this confidential information? A hacker has broken into the prescription monitoring program’s database via the web and has stolen the 8.5 million records there. If the state doesn’t cough up 10 Million bucks, the hacker will expose the data.
You are Pwn3d! Pay me 10 Meeeeellion Dullars!
From NBCWashington here via Drudge:
The FBI is on the trail of hackers who claim to have accessed the personal information of millions of Virginians. They’re holding the information hostage, and are threatening to dispurse the sensitive data on the Internet if they don’t receive a $10 million ransom.
The hacker or hackers posted the ransom note on “Wikileaks,” a Web site that allows for anonymous tips about leaks of government information. The note claims that the personal information came from a raid on a state agency’s computer database, and that the hackers are now in possession of 8 million patients’ records, as well as 35 million prescription records. Those records may include Social Security numbers.
Investigators have reason to believe the threats from hackers may be credible; The Virginia Department of Health Professions has confirmed that there was an incident last Thursday where a hacker may have breached system servers.
The Virginia Department of Health Professions has the responsibility of licensing 300,000 healthcare professionals. The agency’s database includes prescription information, as part of a drug monitoring program to help prevent people from abusing prescription drugs.
The agency’s computers are still down, as investigators slowly go through every computer file, looking for a breach.
If the state can’t take the time to properly secure a patient database, then they have no business whatsoever being in the patient monitoring business. What are the risks of a few citizens abusing prescription drugs? Negligible compared to the risk of exposing personal data of 8.5 million people. Dumbasses.
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(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...The Jon and Kate Gosselin Breakup: I Blame Mady
May 6th
It seems that Jon was getting really tired of Kate’s chronic shrewish nagging, so he has hooked up with a 23 year old third-grade school teacher (teachers are such whores, right?) for sex, shots and a soon-to-be single swinger lifestyle.
This story here from Us Weekly details the whole shocking affair. But anyone who has watched the show Jon and Kate plus 8 over the past few years saw this coming, right? Kate is a bitchy germaphobic shrew who nags Jon constantly and is fond of slapping him with her cutely named “love taps.” Is it any wonder Jon wanted to “get some” on the side? However, I don’t blame Kate for the pending breakup of the marriage and what is sure to be a hefty child support payment multiplied by eight. I blame Mady.
That’s Mady on the bottom right, shooting laserbeams of pure evil and hatred from her eyeslits toward the rest of her family. Mady is never happy and she goes out of her way to make sure her parents and siblings suffer daily for their imaginary offenses against her. Whenever there is a family photo, Mady is shown to be beligerently pouty. Mady is the reason there are no sharp knives around the house, and rumor has it that it was Mady that introduced her father to the teacher, Deanna Hummel. Maybe Kate can use some of Jon’s insane child support payments to get Mady the electric-shock therapy she so desperately needs.
From the UsWeekly article here:
Five people close to the situation – including two relatives of the other woman – confirm that Jon & Kate Plus 8 dad Jon Gosselin, 32, has been having an affair with third grade school teacher Deanna Hummel.
After Jon and Deanna met in mid-January at Chill Lounge in Reading, Pennsylvania (they sent each other $3 shots), Jason says Jon — who has twins, 8, and sextuplets, 5 — began relentlessly pursuing his sister. By mid-February, he was coming over to their Reading house.
At the Hummel house, Jason says Deanna and Jon would “pretty much stay locked away like two teenagers. It was weird. He’s a grown man.” He also adds, “A lot of the time, it was pretty, um, gross listening to her, you know, um — how do I say this? The walls are thin. Let’s just say that. I mean, no one wants to hear his sister having sex, let alone with a married dude who’s, like, almost twice her age and who has eight kids and a maybe-crazy wife. Ick. Nasty.”
Why do women who are the worst decision makers decide to go into the teaching profession? Oh well. With Jon out of the family’s life, one thing is for certain- In 15 years, there will be two sets of half-asian stripper sisters dancing somewhere in Pennsylvania! A set of twins and a set of triplets!
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(2 votes, average: 4.50 out of 6) Loading ...Adventures in Diversity Training!
May 5th
Delaware State’s Department of Transportation sent out a newsletter to their employees with hints and clues on how to be sensitive to gays, blacks, latinos, the elderly and the crippled. But the newsletter’s author, Secretary Carolann Wicks, refused to beat around the bush and neglected to be politically correct or use preferred “multicultural” words. The result was a newsletter that is insulting, like all diversity training classes are, but hilarious because the newsletter spews hateful words like spic, fag, nigger and retard. It reads like diversity training by Michael Scott of Dunder Mifflin Paper Company.
The hilariously racist, insulting document is here. It contains nuggets like the following:
- Never call a coworker a “fag” or “homo.”
This is derogatory, rude, and totally
insensitive.- You may have heard comedians or African
Americans use the word “nigger” casually.
It is never, ever acceptable to use this word
in any context. You are asking for trouble;
leave this one alone.- Don’t ask blacks: “Should we order fried chicken or
watermelon for you?”
This is stereotyping and shows ignorance.- Never refer to a co-worker as a “retard.”
This is an insult to people with mental
disabilities.- It is never ever acceptable to refer to a
Hispanic/Latino co-worker as a “spic”
“wetback” or “hot footer.” This is
derogatory.- Can you help me out with my landscaping?
Why would you assume that all
Hispanics/Latinos are landscaping experts?
And it goes on and on. Read the public’s reaction here. As far as stereotyping goes, ever notice that whenever you pass a road construction project run by people in the Department of Transportation, you always see one person working and 9 people leaning on a shovel? Oops, does that somehow make me insensitive or a racist? Probably.
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(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...“X-Men Origins: Wolverine” Worst Mutant Movie Ever
May 4th
I didn’t think you could make a bad movie with Wolverine in it. I was wrong. And it seems to be the consensus. Even BWE thinks it sucks. They pulled the RottenTomatoes scores for all of the X-Men movies.
There were so many things wrong with this movie- anachronisms like fast, powerful working computers in the 80′s, a mish-mash of vehicles from different decades- not to mention they completely remade Wolverine’s origin, and perhaps, the worst insult of all- they changed Logan’s name to Jimmy.
And who the hell told Will.I.Am from the Black Eyed Peas that he could act? I haven’t seen a black man fuck up a superhero movie so badly since Richard Pryor in Superman IV.
The most impressive mutant powers I saw in the movie was the ability to steal ten dollars from my pocket. Curse you 20th Century Fox for ruining Wolverine for me.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...WTF? Vick to Be New PETA SpokesThug
May 3rd
This goes to show just how stupid both Vick and everyone at PETA are: PETA wants to hire Michael “Ron Mexico” Vick to be the national spokesperson for animal cruelty. I think that would be like hiring Hitler to sing karaoke at a bar mitzvah.
From WTOP here:
Michael Vick has a new job offer waiting for him: PETA spokesman.
The ex-NFL superstar – who is serving prison time for funding an illegal dog-fighting ring – is in talks to do public service ads for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals.
The new gig is part of a comprehensive PR attempt to transform the disgraced quarterback’s image — and possibly get him re-admitted to the NFL. Vick’s public mea culpas will come in the form of public service announcements, TV interviews, donations to animal-rights organizations, and perhaps even the creation of his own foundation.
Hot Air says it would be like having Jeffrey Dahmer be the spokesman for Vegetarianism. They also say that PETA is insisting on forcing Vick to undergo a brain scan in order to get the job.
Meanwhile, Maria Melton has set up a website to help find answers to solve the brutal murder of her brother Roy Melton. Roy was involved in dog fighting, and likely fought some of Vick’s dogs. He was murdered during the days leading up to the arrest of Michael Vick. Read more about it here and at Maria’s site.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Twit’s Tweets
Apr 29th
Yet more proof that twitter is lame.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...FEMA Coloring Book Fail?
Apr 29th
I saw this on FARK and it is indeed shocking- a coloring book image for children showing the World Trade Center towers being struck by airplanes- and a news agency in Florida claiming that this image was part of a FEMA online coloring book for kids, and the image has now been pulled.
If the video here at Local6.Com is true, this would be a pretty stupid scandal, and quite believable considering how poorly managed FEMA has been and the general distrust of all things government. But I think Local6 fell for a hoax. Looking at archive.org, the internet’s copy of all of the website histories, the coloring book page has remained unchanged for years.
Also, the artistic style is noticeably different. As much as I would love to believe that this is true, I’m calling shenanigans.
Update! Turns out I was looking in the wrong place. The Smoking Gun has more on the story here. And here is the original file still available for download from the Archive.Org site.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...America’s First Half-Black President Scares the Bejeezus Out of New Yorkers
Apr 28th
What kind of idiot President would buzz the New York City skyline in his jumbo jet, while making it look like fighter jets were flying to intercept a hijacked plane? One who is totally unaware of the pain that New Yorkers endured during the 9/11 terror attacks. Okay, Obama wasn’t on the plane, but the White House approved the flight.
New Yorkers were evacuating buildings and their bowels when they saw AirForce 1 perform a slow low-altitude flyby. Watch the New Yorkers scream and run in this video. Obama acts like the War on Terror is over, but I think he needs to convince the residents of Manhattan.
First he brought the “Change”- Airplanes in the sky over Manhattan!
Then he brought the “Hope”- New Yorkers hoped this wasn’t another terror attack. Thanks to HotAir for the video.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Organically Farmed Product Killing People and Aborting Babies
Apr 27th
We have seen FDA recalls on pistachios and jalapenos and tomatoes for salmonella infection due to organic farming methods that expose the food to sewage, farm runoff or other sources of fecal contaminants. Previous salmonella infections have crippled the food industry, many farmers who used safer farming methods, and sickened and killed many.
This time alfalfa sprouts have been found to be infected on a farm in New York state and distributed to northeastern states of NY, NJ, CT, RI, MA, NH, VT, ME, MD, PA & Delaware. And instead of salmonella, the bacteria is Listeria, which causes menengitis outbreaks and will cause women to spontaneously miscarry their pregnancies.
From the FDA here with thanks to Leon:
Amalgamated Produce, Inc. (API), Bridgeport, CT, announced a voluntary recall today of its Specialty Farms, Vermont Sprout House, Nature’s Promise and BroccoSprouts (noted as distributed by API, Bridgeport, CT) sprout items with sell by date codes of March 31 through April 27, 2009.
These sprouts are being recalled because they may have the potential to be contaminated with Listeria monocytogenes (Lm). Lm is an organism which can cause serious and sometimes fatal infections in young children, frail or elderly people and others with weakened immune systems. Although healthy individuals may suffer only short-term symptoms such as high fever, severe headache, stiffness, nausea, abdominal pain and diarrhea, Listeria infection can cause miscarriages and stillbirths among pregnant women.
As I have pointed out before, our forefathers spent years and a vast fortune to perfect scientific methods to provide us safe and healthy food. Now a bunch of hippies who deny the existence of science when it comes to food, but embrace it when it comes to ecological myths such as Global Warming, are creating a false market for food that is neither healthy nor safe.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Shocker! Pizza Delivery to Hampton University Goes Badly
Apr 26th
When I was young, I had the sad misfortune to deliver pizzas to the so-called “students” that inhabit the campus of the all-black Hampton University in my hometown of Hampton, Virginia. In the two years of delivering pizzas to those thugs and animals, I had been robbed several times and accumulated 37 cents in tips, which I got only because I didn’t have enough coins to give back to the customer- I lied and told him I had the change in the car, and when I got to the car I hauled ass.
All of the delivery drivers in all of the pizza shops in all of the city of Hampton who have to deliver to the HU campus would gladly rather deliver pizzas to the following list of customers than to have to deliver to HU:
- Crazy Cat ladies and their 96 cats
- Cuban refugees on a raft floating off Strawberry Banks
- The city jail
- A troupe of hungry cannibals
- A zombie-infested city morgue
And this is not a matter of racism- When I began to manage a pizza shop that delivered to HU, my black drivers would threaten to quit because they would get robbed and gipped on tips too.
So it was not a shock to me at all when I read in the news that a pizza driver was shot delivering to the seventh circle of pizza delivery hell, also known as Harkness Hall. From the AP here:
A former Hampton University student armed with three guns followed a pizza delivery man into the student’s former dorm early Sunday, shot the delivery man and a dorm monitor, then turned the gun on himself, university officials said. All three survived.
No current students were injured and both victims and the alleged shooter were expected to recover. Officials could offer no motive for the shooting.
The 18-year-old former student, who is from New York City, parked his car off campus to avoid a vehicle checkpoint at Hampton’s main gate, then followed the pizza delivery man on foot and inside a freshman dormitory, Harkness Hall. Once inside, he shot the pizza man and entered the monitor’s office and fired three shots at him, then shot himself, Hampton University Police Chief Leroy Crosby said.
Students were playing music and video games in the all-male freshman dormitory when they heard a fire alarm sound early Sunday. As they left their rooms, they saw the delivery man shot in the neck and stomach outside the monitor’s office. Police were applying pressure to his wounds, he said.
The gunman was so inept he couldn’t even kill himself with his own handgun. He must have been holding it sideways. Crime statistics are required to be collected in Virginia’s colleges. Here is the shocking stats of rape, robbery and larceny at HU. It is likely many victims are pizza delivery guys:
| GENERAL CRIMES – HAMPTON UNIVERSITY MAIN CAMPUS | |||||
|
Offense Type
|
Year
|
On-Campus
|
Residence Hall
|
Non-Campus Building or Property
|
Public Property
|
| Forcible Sex Offenses | 2007 |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
| 2006 |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
|
| 2005 |
2
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
|
| Non-Forcible Sex Offenses | 2007 |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
| 2006 |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
|
| 2005 |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
|
| Robbery | 2007 |
3
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
| 2006 |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
|
| 2005 |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
|
| Aggravated Assault | 2007 |
7
|
2
|
3
|
0
|
| 2006 |
3
|
1
|
0
|
2
|
|
| 2005 |
2
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
|
| Larceny | 2007 |
114
|
28
|
12
|
1
|
| 2006 |
118
|
21
|
3
|
2
|
|
| 2005 |
116
|
24
|
0
|
0
|
|
| Burglary | 2007 |
52
|
28
|
4
|
0
|
| 2006 |
69
|
42
|
1
|
0
|
|
| 2005 |
50
|
23
|
0
|
0
|
|
Now compare this to another regional college- William and Mary, another school that I delivered to, which nothing bad ever happened- A fraction of the crime.
HU’s police laughably advise the campus residents to walk quickly, with a buddy and act tough to prevent becoming a statistic-
- Avoid walking alone unless ABSOLUTELY necessary.
- It is always best to let someone know where you are going and when you are expected back.
- Avoid walking in dark, isolated areas.
- Walk with confidence! Whenever possible, know where you are going
Check out a review by a former student of HU here. Here is another story of a pizza run gone sideways.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Happy Murder Your Ex-Girlfriend and Stuff Her Corpse in a Box Day!
Apr 22nd
Leftist holidays such as Kwanzaa and Earth Day are typically created by depraved violent criminals. On Kwanzaa you beat your women with electrical cords just like Ron Karenga, Kwanzaa’s founder used to do. On Earth Day, you murder your ex girlfriend and stuff her rotting corpse into a box in your apartment just like Earth Day founder Ira Einhorn did to Holly Maddux.
What’s that? Been too busy worshipping Gaea and hugging trees in the park to learn the true story of Earth Day? Well, gather round, Charlie Brown. This is the story of how Earth Day was invented, courtesy of the Philadelphia Bulletin here:
Today is Earth Day, a holiday created to honor the planet and to raise the consciousness of man’s effect on the environment. Ira Einhorn, was a co-founder of the environmentalist jubilee.
Ira Einhorn (the “Unicorn”) gives victory sign at first Earth Day ExtravaganzaBut Mr. Einhorn has another line on his resume. In addition to being a environmental guru, he is the Unicorn Killer.
While a student at the University of Pennsylvania, Mr. Einhorn dated a Bryn Mawr College graduate by the name of Holly Maddux. When the affair ended in 1977, Mr. Einhorn went into a jealous rage and murdered her.
Holly MadduxHe concealed his crime for 18 months by stuffing Ms. Maddux’s body in a trunk that he kept in his apartment. The foul odor of the decomposing corpse caused neighbors to complain. In 1979, police found the trunk stored in a closet in Mr. Einhorn’s apartment.
Ira Einhorn, member of the counterculture pantheon, one of the founders of the environmentalist movement, icon of the liberal intelligentsia, was charged with murder. But it was not just a simple murder, it was a gruesome case of domestic violence.
At the bail hearing, Mr. Einhorn was praised by a contingent of luminaries — all testifying to his character. Barbara Bronfman, heiress to the Seagram liquor fortune, paid his $40,000 bail.
Proclaiming his innocence, Mr. Einhorn told all that he was framed. He said it was the CIA or the FBI who committed the murder and they were trying to frame him for it because of his political activities.
Mr. Einhorn skipped bail and left Philadelphia in 1981. Several years after the absentia conviction, in 1997, Mr. Einhorn was located. He was living in France with a new girlfriend — a Swedish woman. He was extradited to Pennsylvania in July 2001. He was tried, convicted and sentenced to life in prison October 17, 2002.
So that, Charlie Brown is the true meaning of Earth Day. Some douchebag crackpot keeps a shrine blog to this murderous asshole here. Michelle Malkin has a decidedly more upbeat Earth Day post here.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Madonna Falls Off Horse; Gulls Laugh
Apr 19th
Madonna was horseback riding on the beach in the Hamptons. Supposedly a photographer spooked her horse and the Material Girl splatted right on the sandy beach.
From the AP here:
Madonna is under the care of doctors after falling off a horse over the weekend — an accident she is blaming on the paparazzi.
A representative for the superstar said Madonna suffered “minor injuries” after she fell while horseback riding in the Hamptons. The 50-year-old singer was treated at a Southampton hospital and released, and is being monitored by doctors.
This is not the first time Madonna has been injured riding a horse. She was thrown from a horse in England in the summer of 2005, cracking three ribs and breaking her collarbone and a hand in that accident.
Wow, Madonna really sucks at horseback riding. What was more shocking than the fall from the horse was that Madonna landed with her legs spread. Several large cackling gulls mistook her gaping vagina for a basket of Boardwalk French Fries and Madge suffered several pecks from the birds. A previous Madonna post is here.
Thanks to RightRant for the Madonna update!
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Somali Pirates Have a Blog
Apr 16th
Everybody is getting a blog nowadays. Even the Somali Pirates. Check out their latest entry here:
we have recruited some of your own countrymen to our cause.
Our newest recruit, we call him “G”. he was a First Mate in your country, but he’s been promoted to Captain in ours. He knows your secrets and will undermine your defenses. Last night he made a radio out of a coconut. Look below into the face of your worst nightmare.
Thanks to the Jawas for the link!
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Shocker! Tiny Cars Do Poorly in Test Crashes
Apr 14th
The SMART car and the Yaris are rolling deathtraps in a collision? The hell you say! And the company presidents are butthurt over the results, complaining that if everyone drove a golfball on wheels then everyone would be protected equally.
This “no duh!” article is from the AP here:
Micro cars can give motorists top-notch fuel efficiency at a competitive price, but the insurance industry says they don’t fare too well in collisions with larger vehicles.
In crash tests released Tuesday, the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety found that drivers of 2009 versions of the Smart “fortwo,” Honda Fit and Toyota Yaris could face significant leg and head injuries in severe front-end crashes with larger, mid-size vehicles.
The tests involved head-on crashes between the fortwo and a 2009 Mercedes C Class, the Fit and a 2009 Honda Accord and the Yaris and the 2009 Toyota Camry. The tests were conducted at 40 miles per hour, representing a severe crash.
In the fortwo collision, the institute said the Smart, which weighs 1,808 lbs, went airborne and turned around 450 degrees after striking the C Class, which weighs nearly twice as much. There was extensive damage to the fortwo’s interior and the Smart driver could have faced extensive injuries to the head and legs. There was little damage to the front seat area of the C Class.
In the Fit’s test, the dummy’s head struck the steering wheel through the air bag and showed a high risk of leg injuries. In the vehicle-to-vehicle test, the Fit was rated poor while the Accord’s structure held up well.
In the Yaris test, the institute said the mini car sustained damage to the door and front passenger area. The driver dummy showed signs of head injuries, a deep gash on the right knee and extensive forces to the neck and right leg.
The company presidents of these rolling deathtraps insist that the insurance companies are conspiring to keep these cars off the market and we may as well all drive tractor trailers.
“If you were to take that argument to the nth degree, we should all be driving 18-wheelers. And the trend in society today is just the opposite,” said Dave Schembri, president of Smart USA.
18 wheelers? How about going down in size Dave? Why not make us all drive ping-pong balls?
Toyota spokesman John Hanson said the car-to-car test had little relevance to consumers because of its severity. “It’s fairly obvious that they have an agenda here with regard to how smaller cars are going to be entering the North American market in larger numbers,” Hanson said.
Of course smaller cars will get you killed in an accident when the car hits anything larger than a goat. Its called “physics.” And a head-on crash at 40MPH is not an “extreme scenario” either. It seems like a common-sense real world test to me. These small car manufacturers may as well remove the airbags and instead allow the car to convert to a casket upon impact for easy burial of the driver.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Polish Zoo Bought Gay Elephant
Apr 13th
The Poznan zoo in western Poland spent about 13 Million dollars to have one of the best elephant exhibits in Europe, and they had visions of having their very own herd of thundering elephants one day. And then someone went and bought a gay elephant and pissed everyone off, including the other male elephants that keep trumpeting “Dude! Dude!! Stop it!” whenever Ninio the gay elephant gets horny. Speaking of surprised, the kids in this video are screaming from trauma watching these elephants party on the playground…
From Reuters here:
A Polish politician has criticised his local zoo for acquiring a “gay” elephant named Ninio who prefers male companions and will probably not procreate.
“We didn’t pay 37 million zlotys (7.6 million pounds) for the largest elephant house in Europe to have a gay elephant live there,” the pol said. “We were supposed to have a herd, but as Ninio prefers male friends over females how will he produce offspring?”
In these tough economic times, can any zoo afford to feed a huge animal that refuses to procreate? Can’t they just turn him into piano keys and umbrella stands? Seriously, if you were a chicken farmer and you found out your rooster was gay, you would have to kill it, right? What’s the difference besides the size here and the fact that Ninio thinks peanuts are “Fabulooouuusss!!”
Fudge-pachyderm. There, I said it.
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(1 votes, average: 3.00 out of 6) Loading ...No Wonder GM is Going Bankrupt
Apr 7th
Behold the latest horrific trend in personalized mobility- the PUMA, or the “Personal Urban Mobility and Accessibility.” It is a cross-breed abomination by GM and Segway. The PUMA, (pronounced Fah’-Güh-Tree) is designed to make those fools who bought the overpriced SMART cars during the height of gasoline price spike feel safe behind the wheel.
Ever notice all the car safety crash tests on TV don’t include the Smart Car? That’s because the Smart Car doesn’t crumple to preserve the driver at all, and it doesn’t even have airbags. Upon impact, the car simply and conveniently, converts to a wooden box in the shape of a coffin for ease of burial or cremation. Now the PUMA comes along without any sort of passenger cabin at all and it can do up to 35 MPH on the roads. Truckers have been warned by the National Transportation Safety Board (NTSB) that after striking one of these tiny vehicles, they should immediately stop their trucks and replace their divot. (Its a golf joke.)
Anyways, what makes the PUMA so ultimately gay is the operations of the tiny car. The operation is demonstrated below by Mr. Garrison of the town of South Park, Colorado.
Thanks to [GAS] and Moonbattery for the story.
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(2 votes, average: 3.50 out of 6) Loading ...Welcome to Costco!
Apr 7th
So if this is her first name, what is her nickname?
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Chinese Gaping Vagina Prom Dress
Apr 3rd
This is what all the slutty high school girls will be wearing to the prom this year, because nothing signals that that you’re ready to put high heel scuff marks on the ceiling of the back seat of your date’s car than a dress with a gaping silk labia built into it.
The dress is a Benjamin and it will take about 2 weeks for Chinese seamstresses to throw it together and ship it. Thanks to BWE for the LOL picture.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...
New Pistachio Salmonella Outbreak Due to Organic Farming Methods
Mar 31st
Salmonella is a bacteria that comes from food exposed to feces. The tomato salmonella outbreak last year that cost tomato growers across the country 300 Million bucks in lost income was ultimately traced to a single farm in Mexico growing organic jalapeno peppers and using waste water from a chicken farm to irrigate the crops. Now a new salmonella scare has triggered nationwide recalls, and this time pistachios are the culprit.
The company that produced the poisonous pistachios, Setton Farms, uses organic farming methods, which means that they refuse to use chemicals to prevent poisons and pests from contaminating the crops and they use animal feces as fertilizer instead of engineered mixtures that are free of bacteria. Also, the farms do not have to be inspected by the US Department of Agriculture. Any bozo with a license to inspect organic farms can do so in the state of California.
But if salmonella comes from animal poop, how did it get onto the nuts that grow on the trees? My guess would be that immigrant laborers were picking nuts up out of the mud during harvest.
From Reuters here:
A California pistachio processor issued a nationwide recall of pistachios due to possible salmonella contamination, and U.S. health regulators said consumers should avoid all pistachio products until more information is available.
The U.S. Food and Drug Administration and the California Department of Public Health are investigating the matter.
Salmonella can cause serious and sometimes fatal infections in young children, frail or elderly people, and others with weakened immune systems.
The recalled nuts were shipped on or after September 1, 2008 by Setton Pistachio of Terra Bella Inc.
American farmers spent 200 years to come up with the technology and processes to produce robust food that is clean and healthy. Now a bunch of eco-religionists who reject logic and technology would rather risk exposure to deadly diseases and eat inferior produce.
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