I can't believe that came from your mouth!
Distractions
happy fun stuff that occupies time
I Got Evil Spock
Dec 17th
From the classic Star Trek TOS episode Mirror Mirror. I was at Toys R Us to finish up some Christmas shopping when I stumbled across this action figure jammed on a rack with Star Wars stuff. Had to have it, and it comes with phaser, communicator and a Vulcan dagger. Click the image below to watch the episode.
Check out the details-

And the Closeup:

I totally geeked out and probably embarrassed Jess who kept reminding me that we were shopping for the boy. But sometimes the inner geek in me must be fed.
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Welcome to the Internets- Here’s Your Fat Japanese Guy
Dec 17th
Yeah, I don’t know what this is either. But is that an epic pile of manga in the corner of his Mom’s basement or what?
Thanks ED!
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Christmas Guitar Hero
Dec 15th
When geeky Dads have gamer kids, this is what you get. I think its kinda spectacular, but the kid should really take some time and sweep those leaves off that driveway!
For an explanation on how it all works, go here.
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Christmas Trees Used to be Ugly
Dec 12th
I spend about 70 bucks on my christmas tree every year, choosing what I think is the prized selection among the locally delivered Douglas Firs. Generally I choose a slender tree with soft bristles about 8 or nine feet tall. I love the way my tree looks, and to me, its the ideal American style for a Christmas tree. But trees didn’t always look this way. Below are some pics cribbed from my favorite photo site, Shorpy, along with comments about how trees assumed their present form:
This is more than a Christmas tree. This is Christmas tree as art installation.
I love the fact that it nearly takes over the room and that there is room to breathe between the branches that allows the ornaments and ropes of glass balls to be draped and displayed in all their glory.
This is the kind of tree my grandparents always had–very big and wide and decorated with the exact same ornaments. The only thing missing is Angel Hair (was it actually fiber glass?). My grandmother went through a big angel hair period before she moved on to tinsel.
I’ve observed that in old photos of plain and poorly shaped women as well as poorly shaped Christmas trees, many viewers raise the subject of appearance. We had trees like this when I was young, usually because Dad always got one that was way too tall and we had to cut off to fit it in the room. We had one as recently as about 20 years ago that looked like a giant tumbleweed, rather shapeless and sparse.
Wow. It never ceases to amaze me how different Christmas trees looked back in the day. I don’t mean the decorations, I mean the actual shape of the tree.
Is it because they were just chopped from somewhere by the homeowners? Or maybe there is a species that has been developed for mass consumption today?
That’s a big effin’ tree.
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Google Goggles Coming to iPhone
Dec 10th
This application has the potential to launch search technology to a new level. I want this on my iPhone. Its on the Droid now, but will be coming to iPhone soon.
From PCWorld Here:
Google Goggles: Android and Beyond
I confirmed with Google this morning that the Goggles app will indeed reach other platforms. You may not want to hold your breath, however, for the Android exclusivity to end.
“It is our intention to quickly develop Goggles for the most popular mobile handsets and platforms,” Google’s Katie Watson tells me. “Unfortunately, we don’t have a specific timeframe to share.”
I certainly hope they get Goggles finished up soon. Its almost Christmas and I don’t want Bruce Willis to kill that guy.
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Alexander Again Brings Dishonor to the House of Worf
Dec 8th
Alexander Rozhenko has once again dishonored his father.

From the AP here:
A former cast member of the 1980s television show “Family Ties” has been arrested for investigation of assault in Colorado.
28-year-old Brian Bonsall got into a fight at an apartment on Saturday and hit a friend with part of a broken wooden stool.
He is being held in the Boulder County Jail and was due in court Wednesday. Jail records didn’t indicate his lawyer’s name.
Family Ties was cursed. Just look at how twitchy it made Michael J. Fox and how fat it made Tina Yothers.
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New Mater CarsToon: UFM – Unidentified Flying Mater
Nov 25th
There is an awesome new Pixar Mater CarsToon where Mater relates the tall tale of how he encountered a flying saucer. There are so many references to classic UFO movies in this animated short, such as recreated scenes of Richard Dreyfus from Close Encounters at the railroad crossing, and how the flying saucer gets held in Hangar 18 and when Mater and the saucer are tractor tipping, check out the gear-shaped crop circles that are made. Embedding is disabled, so click the image to enjoy.
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Santas Used to Be a Lot Skinnier
Nov 23rd
Does anyone know when it became fashionable to make Santa a lardass? Here is a great photo I found on Shorpy showing a Santa on Broadway in 1902. You can see the full size here.
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George and AJ From UP Had a Bad Week
Nov 23rd
Pixar has a cartoon featurette showing what happened to the two orderlies from the Shady Oaks Retirement home after Mr. Fredrickson hits their truck with his house.
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DC’s National Cathedral Has Darth Vader Grotesque
Nov 11th
I had no idea catholicism was so cool nowadays. The National Cathedral in Washington DC had some kids come up with their own “grotesque” or statue that typically adorns gothic churches to ward away evil spirits- like gargoyles. The kids thought, “what could be more scary than Darth Vader?”
From the Washington National Cathedral’s homepage here:
In the 1980s, while the west towers were under construction, Washington National Cathedral held a decorative sculpture competition for children. Word of the competition was spread nationwide through National Geographic World Magazine. The third-place winner was Christopher Rader, with his drawing of that fearful villain, Darth Vader. The fierce head was sculpted by Jay Hall Carpenter, carved by Patrick J. Plunkett, and placed high upon the northwest tower of the Cathedral.
How to find Darth Vader
First, bring binoculars! Darth Vader is very difficult to see by the naked eye. Leave the building through the ramp entrance at the northwest corner of the nave, through the double wooden doors of Lincoln Bay. Go down the ramp, and step into the parking lot. Then, turn around and look back up at the tower closest to you. Near the top of the tower is a gablet, or small peaked roof, located between the two huge louvered arches. At the bottom of each slope of this gablet is a carved grotesque. Darth Vader is on the north, or right-hand, side. There is a carved skull situated on a gablet much closer to the ground that many people often mistake for Darth Vader. From this skull, Darth Vader is up and to the left.
Finally, a reason to go to church!
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Dirty Soccer
Nov 7th
I was out with friends last night at a pub when I saw this video on the sports channel. Elizabeth Lambert of University of New Mexico punches, face kicks and yanks pony tails all throughout the match in which they ultimately lost to Brigam Young University by 1 to 0.
From ESPN here:
Video footage of the game shows Lambert, a junior, committing a series of excessively rough plays, including kicking, tackles, a forearm shiver to the back — in response to an elbow to the ribs — and yanking BYU forward Kassidy Shumway to the ground by her hair.
Lambert was assessed a yellow card during the 76th minute, apparently for tripping.
On Friday, Lambert apologized for her actions, saying she was “deeply and wholeheartedly regretful.”
“I let my emotions get the best of me in a heated situation. I take full responsibility for my actions and accept any punishment felt necessary,” Lambert said. “This is in no way indicative of my character or the soccer player that I am. I am sorry to my coaches and teammates for any and all damages I have brought upon them.”
Lizzie, this is precisely indicative of both your character and your playing abilities. You are a cheater and you are not as good as your peers if you have to resort to playing this way. Nice way to end your soccer career.
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Facebook Hell
Nov 1st
I’m not on Facebook. This video reminds me of why. Look I think I have an awesome blog which draws about a thousand of lookie-loos per day, which is more than the traffic I would get if I just stuck to something like a social networking site. But I do know about Facebook and all of its drawbacks. This video best represents the hellish reasons why I refuse to join:
Man in the Box 2013 Facebook Abuse – Watch more Funny Videos
But if you want to share this video on Facebook, click the share icon below and let all of your friends know about it! Thanks to Dan for sharing this with me!
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I Just Threw Up in My Mouth a Little
Oct 29th
Rosie O’Donnell, the fat lesbian whose own marriage is crumbling in front of the 4 kids she’s adopted or created with invitro fertilization, claims she and Angelina Jolie almost hooked up. Click on their pics to hear their celebrity burps.
From EntertainmentWise here:
Rosie O’Donnell claims she almost went on a date with Angelina Jolie several years ago – but was scared off by the Hollywood star’s rampant sexuality.
The unlikely couple began a flirty phone relationship after the actress split from first husband Jonny Lee Miller in 1997, according to the US comedienne.
“Angie did call me and we talked,” said Rosie. “She suddenly said, ‘I wanna come see you.’”
Ther former host of The View – who is married to her long-term female partner Kelli Carpenter – says that, although they talked about a date, she was “afraid’ Angelina.
She explains: “There was a tentative plan to have dinner that never came through. I was a little afraid of her. She’s scary in a sexual kind of way.”
I regurgitated my chicken salad. Anyone have a mint?
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Ewww. Charmin Wants Bloggers
Oct 22nd
Charmin is looking for brave volunteer bloggers who will live in a New York City Times Square bathroom and blog about whether or not visitors are “Enjoying the Go.” Click on the image of Joey Fatone below to see a video of the “king of the throne” make doody.
From Cincinatti Bizjournals here:
Procter & Gamble Co. is looking for five people who will, in return for $10,000, spend five weeks in a Charmin-branded, Manhattan bathroom and blog about the experience.
The five “Charmin Embassadors” will work in the Charmin Restrooms in Times Square from Nov. 23 to Dec. 31. Job requirements include interacting with hundreds of thousands of bathroom guests, maintaining their own blogs and content on Charmin-branded Web sites and popular social media sites, and sharing family-friendly video from the restroom space and surrounding areas.
For this year’s campaign, called “Enjoy the go,” Charmin will conduct open auditions Nov. 5 at New York’s Hilton Hotel on 53rd Street and 6th Avenue.
Bears don’t use Charmin when they poop in the woods. They use rabbits. Its a fact.
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Wil Wheaton Appearance Forms Geeky Nexus on Big Bang Theory
Oct 16th
OMG, the chewy nougat of all things Geeky will be on Big Bang Theory when Sheldon has a Magic the Gathering showdown with Wil Wheaton.
Gonna be epic!
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Its Official. Fall is Here
Oct 14th
Its cold outside. Its drizzling frigid rain. I broke down and turned on the furnace two days ago. And now my tummy is full of yummy yummy beef stew and sourdough bread. Yep, Fall is here.
Next time, I’m making this over the firepit in my Dutch Oven.
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Speak Up, I Can’t Hear You
Oct 7th
Married White Men who ride in convertibles with the top down are prone to hearing loss. Looks like I will be putting a few coins away for my eventual hearing aid/cochlear implant. I’m NOT putting the top up.

From CNET here.
Researchers this week revealed the results of some demographics studies of noise-induced hearing loss (NIHL), something they say had yet to be studied to this extent. If you’re a married white male driving a convertible, listen up while you still can.
One study, which analyzed the audiometric testing data from 5,290 people ages 20 to 69, finds that more than 13 percent suffer from some level of NIHL, which means some 24 million Americans might as well. The strongest association they found is gender, with men being 2.5 times as likely as women to develop NIHL. Among men, those who are married (too much nagging?) and white (they specify “non-Hispanic”) are at the highest risk.
Another study looked at drivers who ride in convertibles with the top down on a regular basis. Researchers say that long or repeated exposure to noise above 85 decibels can result in permanent hearing loss; in the convertibles they studied going 50, 60, and 70 miles per hour, drivers were consistently exposed to sounds between 88 and 90 decibels–due to noise associated with road surfaces, traffic congestion, wind, etc.
I think scientists tried to run some tests on bikers but were too intimidated by the dirty looks they received when they tried to put anything in their ears.
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So Much Better Than Googley-Eyed Stacks of Cash
Oct 6th
Geico Insurance has some cutting edge commercials. They invented the talking gecko. The put-upon cavemen dealing with stereotyping. But I detest the stupid googley-eyed stacks of cash and that insidious 1984 song by Rockwell, “Somebody’s Watching Me.” Hopefully new commercials like this one will bring back the entertainment for Geico.
“Your tire’s all flat ‘n’ junk!” How great is that?
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Jon Gosselin Booted From Jon and Kate Plus 8- Jon Bans TLC From the Home
Oct 1st
Jon Gosselin seems to have finally found his parental senses after TLC announced that the show would be renamed to “Kate Plus 8.” He posted a poorly spelled No Trespassing sign on the gate to their mansion banning the TLC film crew from the home. He says he no longer believes that parading his brats in front of a camera is good for the kids. Pics linked from BWE below:

From the AP here:
The father of the children on “Jon & Kate Plus 8″ says it’s “not healthy” for his kids to continue appearing on the TLC reality show.
Jon Gosselin says he had “an epiphany one day” and realized his 5-year-old sextuplets and 8-year-old twins shouldn’t be filmed at the family’s Pennsylvania home while their parents are going through a divorce.
TLC network has shut down filming of the children on “Jon & Kate Plus 8″ after receiving a cease-and-desist order from Gosselin.
In a statement, the network said production would remain suspended “pending further conversations” between both Gosselins. Filming not directly involving the kids is ongoing, TLC said Thursday.
“It appears that Jon’s priority is Jon and his interests,” his estranged wife, Kate Gosselin, said in a statement on Thursday. “My priority remains our children and their well being.”
Jon continues to be a douche, but in this case, his douchiness is actually right for the kids. It is beyond pathetic to film a family going through a divorce. But he really isn’t having this epiphany because of his fatherly concern. He’s just bitter about being dropped from the show.
If TLC wanted a good show, they should just poke Mady with a sharp stick and give her twin sister Cara new toys. Watching Mady quickly devolve from troubled pre-teen to full-on underage stripper should be compelling television.
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Letterman Dipping His Pen In Company Ink
Oct 1st
Gross. And perhaps the funniest thing Dave has done in years. He admitted on his show tonight that he’s been banging his coworkers. This confession was prompted because he was blackmailed for 2 Million bucks. Pity he just got married and his kid he had with his soon-to-be-divorced wife is already about 6 years old. Keep this in mind while watching Dave hit on Megan Fox:
Dave said:
“This morning, I did something I’ve never done in my life,” Letterman told his audience, according to the statement. “I had to go downtown and testify before a grand jury.”
During that testimony, Letterman acknowledged unspecified sexual relationships with staff members.
“My response to that is, yes I have. Would it be embarrassing if it were made public? Perhaps it would,” Letterman said. “I feel like I need to protect these people. I need to certainly protect my family.”
Letterman received a package three weeks ago, threatening to reveal those indiscretions “if Letterman did not pay the individual a large sum of money” — specified in a later communication as $2 million.
“Letterman said that he referred the matter to the Special Prosecution Bureau of the Manhattan District Attorney’s office, which Letterman said conducted an investigation, which included his issuing a “phony” $2 million check to the individual, and culminated in the individual’s arrest earlier today.”
UPDATE- It was Bob Halderman, a producer for CBS, who was living with the woman Letterman was banging. It happened before he had his kid or was married.
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