I can't believe that came from your mouth!
Crime
Reason 445 to HomeSchool: Teacher Won’t Show Torture Porn to Your Kids
Sep 12th
Forrest Martin’s career as a teacher came to a screeching halt on Monday. During his photography class, he passed out assignments and then kicked his feet up on his desk, opened his laptop and drooled over videos of women being tortured and raped. But Oopsie! He forgot to disconnect the projector cable. His students were horrified at how creepy their teacher was. Forrest Martin quit his job before he could be fired.
From ABCNews here:
Phoenix police are investigating a Phoenix photography teacher, Forrest Martin, after some high school students reported that he played pornographic videos during class. According to a letter Arcadia High School sent home to parents, the incident happened Monday. The letter reads, “13 students were inadvertently shown material inappropriate for the classroom by their teacher.”
The teenage students said they saw were six video clips of what one student described as “torture porn, of like girls being tied up.”
The teacher had connected his personal computer to a projector screen for a photography lesson. That’s when students said the teacher began viewing the videos.
“He forgot the projector screen was turned on and he started watching porn and we were all just like sitting there shocked that he was watching this in front of the class.”
Students said they did try to signal the teacher but he never looked up from his computer. “He was just all into it, I don’t even think he was paying attention to us, he was just all in his computer. We were making comments like ‘Wow, what is he watching?’ and that kind of stuff but I think he was too into it to even notice.”
Most students said they weren’t offended as much as they were unnerved by the incident.
“I was just creeped out that a teacher that I have known from the beginning of the year could have been watching this the whole time we were in class. That’s just gross; he’ll watch it in front of kids in that school when he’s supposed to be teaching.”
Some students wondered how many times the teacher may have view pornography before without them knowing.
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Loading ...Lanora Lucas is a Bad Mom
Sep 11th
In 2005, Lanora Lucas, a former school bus driver, let her kids ride in the trunk of her car on a hot June day because she wanted her son’s friends to think she was a “Cool Mom.” She paid a fine and went on probation, but she didn’t learn her lesson. Now she is in trouble for furnishing Vodka for a 13-year-old girl’s birthday party.
From WTOP here:
A woman who let three small children ride in the trunk of her car in 2005 is in trouble with the law again. Lanora A. Lucas, 40, of Thurmont was charged with reckless endangerment and furnishing alcohol to minors. She is accused of buying vodka for a 13-year-old girl’s birthday celebration.
A 13-year-old girl and a 16-year-old boy became so drunk that they were admitted to Frederick Memorial Hospital for alcohol poisoning. The girl’s blood-alcohol content was 0.251; the boy’s was 0.185.
The girls asked Lucas to buy the liquor. “A phone call was made. They met and gave her $20,” Koenig said. “She provided the vodka and brought them the change.” While in the woods, and under the influence of the liquor, one of the girls had sexual contact with two of the boys.
I guess being the cool mom in the town must be a pain in the ass if you end up doing liquor deliveries to every teenage slut in the county. But once you get busted, the 7-year prison sentence looks a little painful.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Kanye Arrested at Airport
Sep 11th
Kanye threw a fit at the airport because someone took a picture of the dimunitive rapper. And the fit earned him an arrest. Who does he think he is? Snoop?
From MSNBC here:
Kanye West was arrested at Los Angeles International Airport on Thursday police have confirmed to Access Hollywood.
West was arrested at 7:51 a.m. PST on charges of battery and vandalism. He is still in custody at the airport.
The celebrity Web site TMZ.com is reporting that West smashed the camera of a photographer in the American Airlines terminal at LAX. TMZ says one of its photographers began videotaping the scene and an assistant of the rapper grabbed the camera and threw it to the ground.
At first, I thought Kanye had been busted with too many magazines in his big box o’ porn.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Mother of the Year Might Get the Electric Chair
Aug 29th
China Arnold put her baby, four-week old Paris Talley, in the microwave and put it on the “frozen lasagna” setting. Now the state of Ohio plans to do the same to this twisted bitch.
From the AP here:
A mother was convicted Friday of killing her month-old daughter by burning her in a microwave oven. China Arnold, 28, showed no reaction when the jury’s verdict was announced and then lowered her head, looking down at the defense table.
Arnold was found guilty of aggravated murder and could be sentenced to death. The jury was scheduled to return Tuesday to begin hearing evidence in the death-penalty phase of the case.
Arnold intentionally put her baby in the microwave oven and cooked the child to death after a fight with her boyfriend. Arnolds’ cellmate testified that Arnold did it because she was worried her boyfriend would leave her if he found out the child wasn’t his.
A forensic pathologist testified that the girl likely died after being burned in the microwave oven for more than two minutes.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Unbelievably, Rapper DMX Drops the F-Bomb During His Court Appearance
Aug 27th
What?? A rapper curses in front of a Judge while pleading for bail? The hell you say! But its true. Rapper DMX cursed at the judge in the CNN video below. Click for the giggles.
What did poor DMX do to deserve this cruel treatment by this white judge? Click here.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Caylee Anthony’s Body Sure Did Stink
Aug 27th
Pew! That smell in Casey Anthony’s Car? DB. Decomp.
From WESH here:
Much-anticipated results from the University of Tennessee Body Farm reveal that the smell in the trunk of Casey Anthony’s car, mother of missing 3-year-old Caylee, is human decomposition, a law enforcement source said Wednesday.
Air sample tests taken from Anthony’s trunk were sent on Aug. 10 by the Orange County Sheriff’s Office to be analyzed at the University of Tennessee Forensic Anthropology Facility, known as the “Body Farm.” According to two sources, including one with direct knowledge of the investigation, initial tests on that foul odor in Casey Anthony’s car have come back positive for human decomposition. The finding is the first scientific signal that a dead body was in Casey Anthony’s car.
Remember how everyone got the “Rachel” haircut back in the 90′s because of Jennifer Anniston’s hairdo on Friends? Casey Anthony has been on TV enough now to inspire her own haircut, the “Casey.” But you can only get one at the HairCuttery if you bring a 3 year old girl with you.
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(2 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...Crazy Bitch, Thy Name is Kimberly Jernigan
Aug 22nd
I thought former astronaut Lisa Nowak was the country’s craziest psycho ex-girlfriend. I think there is a new winner for king of the hill on Crazy Bitch Mountain.
Its Kim Jernigan, who, after being rejected by her Secondlife boyfriend when they met in real life, tried to kidnap him from his home using a Taser, duct tape, and a BB gun.
From CBS3 here:
A woman wanted in the bizarrely complicated attempted kidnapping of her former virtual boyfriend has been apprehended after a multi-state search. 33-year-old Kimberly Jernigan of North Carolina was distraught after her online relationship with a 52-year-old man from Claymont, Delaware came to an end.
The pair apparently met online in “Second Life.” A virtual relationship began between the victim, whose character was a Lion, and Jerrigan, whose online persona was said to be a virtual woman.
When the two met in reality several months ago, police said the victim ended the relationship, sending Jernigan into a downward spiral.
In the beginning of August, Jernigan allegedly drove to the victim’s Pennsylvania workplace and attempted to kidnap him at gunpoint. While she was unsuccessful, she returned two weeks later to track down the victim’s Delaware address by posing as a postal worker.
With her dog Gogi in tow, Jernigan cut and removed a screened window in order to enter her virtual ex’s apartment.
When the victim arrived home on Thursday, August 21, he saw someone pointing an object at his chest that was projecting a laser beam. He immediately fled the apartment and contacted police.
Officers arriving at the scene discovered a pair of handcuffs, a roll of duct tape, a Taser and a BB gun as well as the suspect’s dog. Jernigan had bound her dog Gogi with duct tape and put him in the bathroom as he was making too much noise.
Approximately an hour after the incident, authorities in Maryland spotted Jernigan’s vehicle at a rest stop on I-95. She was taken into custody after a brief struggle. Jernigan is currently facing charges of attempted kidnapping, burglary and aggravated menacing.
The dog is better off without this psycho woman. What went through her mind to make her think she would succeed at this plot?
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Reasons 918, 919, and 920 to HomeSchool: Your Kid Avoids Complete breakdown of Atlanta Area Education System
Aug 21st
What is going on in Atlanta? This school year is going to be hilarious if this week’s monkeybusiness is any judge. First up is the stupid comments by the school superintendent of Gwinnett, J. Alvin Wilbanks, who when asked why black kids were punished in schools more often in every state except Idaho, said, “They don’t have blacks in Idaho, now do they?”
Yeah, they want him to resign.
Next up is the Jabba the Hutt lookalike teacher from Atlanta, Holly Michelle Barnes, (myspace here) who is starting the year off in handcuffs for touching a 14 year old boy’s wiener. Get the eyebleach.
And finally, an Athens, GA teacher, Joseph Prescott-Reynard, proves why summer vacations are the best perk of the job. It allows them to grow their pot plants. In their backyards. A whole crop, which is easily spotted from a police chopper. Yeah, teachers aren’t really that smart after all. The crops were valued at $20,000 dollars, or about half his salary.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...When You Outlaw Cloning
Aug 7th
Only Pie-Faced former beauty queens with a criminal history of raping Mormons will clone things.
This woman clones animals for food.
Bernann McKinney made international news this week by cloning her old dead dog named, appropriately enough, Booger. As it turns out, she is wanted for kidnapping and raping a Mormon missionary in England. From the Australian here:
The former US beauty queen who drew headlines after mortgaging her home to have her dead dog cloned was outed by a British newspaper yesterday as the same woman who, 30 years ago, fled England after being charged in a bizarre sex crime case.
Bernann McKinney, 57, became the first paying customer of the commercial cloning industry this week when she had her beloved pitbull Booger cloned in South Korea. She appeared in media reports around the globe with her five cloned puppies.
But Britain’s Daily Mail newspaper reported yesterday that the woman shared a striking resemblance, a similar history and the same last name as the pit bull-loving former US beauty queen Joyce McKinney.
That Ms McKinney thrilled British tabloid readers in 1978 when she faced charges over kidnapping a 110kg male Mormon missionary, Kirk Anderson, whom she chained to a bed with mink handcuffs and forced to have sex. She famously said of her victim: “I loved him so much that I would ski naked down Mt Everest with a carnation up my nose if he asked me to.”
The pair had a brief affair when they were both studying drama in the US. A few years later, Ms McKinney, then 28, tracked Mr Anderson, 21, to Ewell in Surrey, where he had been posted as a missionary, and kidnapped him.
After failing to persuade him to marry her and father her children, she donned see-through lingerie and forced him to have sex with her, reportedly resolutely overcoming his Mormon chastity belt. He finally escaped and Ms McKinney was arrested.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Reason 323 to HomeSchool: Culinary Arts Teacher Won’t Gangbang Students on Boat
Aug 7th
Meet Melissa Lavender. She is married with two children (for now) and used to teach at South Lake High School in St. Clair Shores in Michigan until she got fired for allowing her students to gangbang her during a party on a boat.
Melissa was on a boat with a gathering of seamen.
From ClickonDetroit here.
A 33-year-old South Lake High School teacher was arraigned Tuesday on two charges of fourth-degree criminal sexual conduct.
Culinary arts teacher Melissa Lavender is accused of engaging in undisclosed sex acts with two of her male students while at party on a boat owned by one of Lavender’s former student’s parents. There were eight former and current students on the boat with Lavender at the time of the alleged incidents.
The two male students involved in the incidents are 16 and 17.
Lavender is married with two children.
If convicted, Lavender could spend up to two years behind bars.
According to the video accompanying the article, one student definitely would not hit that.
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(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 6) Loading ...Mary Winkler Murdered Her Husband. Now She Gets Her Kids Back
Aug 4th
So let me see if I can reconstruct this. Mary Winkler opened a Nigerian Scam email, and sent the fraudsters all of the money belonging to her and her preacher husband. Husband got mad, so she killed her husband. She blamed it on spousal abuse because her husband wanted her to wear high heel shoes. The jury foolishly believed her. She served no jail time. Now she has regained custody of her three children from her murdered husband’s parents.
Sick, sick, sick.
From the AP here:
Mary Winkler, convicted in the shooting death of her pastor husband in Tennessee, has taken custody of her three daughters. The former minister’s wife picked the girls up Friday from the slain man’s parents, Dan and Diane Winkler.
The children will remain with Winkler permanently.
Winkler was convicted of voluntary manslaughter last year for shooting her husband, Church of Christ minister Matthew Winkler, at their Selmer, Tenn., residence. Sentenced to three years in prison, she is free on probation.
The children, ages 11, 9 and 3, had previously been living with their grandparents with court-ordered visits with their mother.
Twisted women like this like to strap her children into the minivan and run it into the lake and then blame it on the Mexicans. How the state could have turned over custody to this monster is beyond my comprehension.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Nigerian Culture Sucks
Aug 4th
Compared to sensible western cultures, the culture of Nigeria is often barbaric, and their belief systems are a joke. As proof, I offer the story of Remi Fakorede. When she defrauded Great Britain of almost One Million Pounds of welfare cash, she blamed her crimes on a voodoo spell and showed the judge two severed fingers that fell off of her daughter as proof of witchcraft!
From the Sun here:
A mother caused uproar in court when she pulled two fingers from her handbag and said they belonged to one of her children. Mother-of-six, Nigerian-born Remi Fakorede, 46, now behind bars for a “breathtaking” £925,000 tax credit fraud, claimed they had fallen off as a result of a strong “voodoo” curse that had been placed on her and her family and forced her into crime.
Although it is understood one of her children had lost part of her hand after suffering renal problems and developing gangrene, DNA test results are now under way to find out who the fingers belong to.
Fakorede invented 20 aliases using combinations of her various names and a string of children – including twins and some allegedly disabled – to make 39 false tax credit claims over a five-year period.
Half the £925,933 defrauded passed through an account in her maiden name while £70,000 was laundered through her daughter’s.
Fakorede told the court her mother had died a few months earlier and explained how her mother had been taken from her home and “murdered”. The culprits or “forces of darkness” as she called them had then put a powerful “voodoo” curse on her and her family. She said the magic employed was so strong it caused one of her children to lose two fingers.
It was at that point she opened her handbag and pulled the fingers out.
At which time those two fingers wiggled over to a keyboard and typed up a Nigerian Email Scam. Ph3ar the voodoo.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Anthrax Suspect “Snuffs It”
Aug 1st
One week after 9/11, some maniac began to send weaponized anthrax through the mail system, further paralyzing the country after major terror attacks and killing 5 additional people. Now the primary suspect, Bruce Ivins, who was due to be indicted, has committed suicide by overdosing on Tylenol.
HotAir has the details here. The LATimes has some interesting nuggets on the story here, namely:
A top government scientist who helped the FBI analyze samples from the 2001 anthrax attacks has died in Maryland from suicide, just as the Justice Department was about to file criminal charges against him for the attacks.
Bruce E. Ivins, 62, who for the last 18 years worked at the government’s elite biodefense research laboratories at Ft. Detrick, Md., had been informed of his impending prosecution.
Ivins died Tuesday at Frederick Memorial Hospital after ingesting a massive dose of prescription Tylenol mixed with codeine.
The eldest of his two brothers, Thomas Ivins, said he was not surprised by the events that have unfolded.
“He buckled under the pressure from the federal government,” Thomas Ivins said, adding that FBI agents came to Ohio last year to question him about his brother.
“I was questioned by the feds, and I sung like a canary” about Bruce Ivins’ personality and tendencies, Thomas Ivins said.
“He had in his mind that he was omnipotent.”
Ivens’ own brother apparently thinks it was likely that he was behind the Anthrax attacks. And of course I really want to believe the whole incident is closed now, but there are so many questions left, most important of which is “Why?”
But if he was the one behind the attacks, overdosing on Tylenol was a good thing for him. Such a stupid act essentially liquifies your liver and kidneys. Even if you manage to survive the OD, you are on dialysis for the rest of your short ass life.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...McKinnon Exhausts His Appeals. Will be Extradited to USA
Jul 30th
Finally, the world’s stupidest hacker will be extradited to the United States to stand trial. In a last ditch effort, Gary McKinnon went to the House of Lords to beg to be protected from US prosecution. The judges unanimously gave McKinnon the boot.
From the AFP here:
A London man accused of hacking into the computer systems of the US military and NASA on Wednesday lost his appeal against extradition to face trial. Gary McKinnon, 42, tried to prevent his transfer to the United States to be tried over what has been described as the “biggest military hack of all time” by taking his case to Britain’s highest court, the House of Lords.
But five judges unanimously rejected the appeal, paving the way for the unemployed UFO enthusiast to be extradited to the US, where he could be jailed for up to 70 years if convicted of sabotaging vital US defence systems.
This dork hacked into US defense networks because he was convinced that he could uncover evidence of UFOs. I seriously doubt that he will do more than 5 years in prison for his crimes. To see other posts on this crackpot, click here.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...The Tragic Cowardice of Spammers
Jul 30th
Yeah, spammers are annoying, no question. They flood inboxes with ads for penis creams, fake watches, penny stocks, and links to malware-infected sites. They even steal identities of victims that fall for their scams. Now there is a new crime to add to the evils of spammers- Murder.
Edward Davidson, convicted for spamming millions, escaped from jail and murdered his wife and three year old daughter before turning the gun on himself. Trench posted this on his News of Doom blog, so thanks for that. From Rocky Mountain News here:
Edward Davidson 35, was known as Colorado’s Spam King. He was sentenced April 28 to serve 21 months in federal prison for his role in sending hundreds of thousands of unsolicited fraudulent e-mails touting certain penny stocks as excellent investments. He was a computer whiz who made millions only to see his life come crashing down, ending on a quiet basin of prairie.
Sunday night he pulled off a seamless escape from a prison in Florence, jumping into a 2006 silver Toyota Sequoia with his visiting wife and speeding away.
On Thursday morning, he drove to his wife’s former home near Bennett and fatally shot her and his toddler daughter. Then he killed himself.
Davidson was found outside the driver’s side of the vehicle, his wife by the passenger side. A handgun lay nearby. His dead 3-year-old daughter was in the back of the vehicle. A 7-month-old boy was strapped in his baby seat, unharmed.
“What a nightmare, and such a coward,” said U.S. Attorney Troy Eid. “Davidson imposed the death penalty on family members for his own crime.”
Rot in hell you cowardly stupid POS. While this world is much better off without you, there was no reason to murder your family members.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...San Fran Man Coughed Up Network Key to Mayor
Jul 24th
I wrote a followup to the [GAS] post I wrote last week about Terry Childs, the city’s network admin who went off the reservation and locked out all of his fellow employees from the network.
Lockout: The ultimate solution for the BOFH
It turns out that he thought the only person he could ethically disclose the passwords to was the Mayor of San Francisco, Gavin Newsom. Check out the post at [GAS] for the rest of the details.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...New Post at [GAS]- Robert Soloway Sentenced
Jul 23rd
I have a post up at Geeks Are Sexy about Robert Soloway, aka the Spam King, being sentenced to four years of PMITA Prison.
I wrote about his conviction last year in this post here.
I included some statistics on current spam levels and how this single conviction will do nothing to stem to flow of unwanted spam in your inbox.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Unbelieveably, Rapper DMX Jailed for Stealing Medical Services
Jul 23rd
What?? A rapper jailed for identity theft for lying about his true name in order to dodge medical bills? The hell you say! But its true. Rapper DMX was arrested for medical identity theft after going to the Mayo Clinic for medical treatment and giving the fictitious name of “Troy Jones.”
From Reuters here:
A spokesman for the Maricopa County Attorney’s office said a grand jury has charged DMX, whose real name is Earl Simmons, with one count of theft and one count of taking someone else’s identity.
The felony indictment stemmed from a visit Simmons made to the Mayo Clinic in Scottsdale, Arizona, in April during which he gave his name as “Troy Jones,” to avoid paying for treatment.
The indictment is the latest in a string of tangles with the law for the 37-year-old rapper.
Earlier this month, Simmons was arrested at a Phoenix airport for failing to appear in court, failure to pay fines and driving without a license.
The rapper was arrested in May on suspicion of drug possession and animal cruelty after searches of his home allegedly turned up weapons, drugs, dog carcasses and abused pit bulls.
Great, another black guy who loves to abuse Pit Bulls. So if this punk has so much cash he can afford lawyers, and bail money, plus all his drugs, and a shovel to bury torn up bodies of dogs, why can’t he afford Blue Cross/Blue Shield? Oh, ’cause health insurance isn’t “Keepin’ it real, bitches.”
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Maryland Muslim Man Guilty of Enslaving Teenager
Jul 16th
Yeah, yeah, I know- the article I link to below says nothing whatsoever about the Doctor from Greenbelt, Maryland being a Muslim. But you can bank on it- he’s a follower of Islam. According to the CIA World factbook, odds are better than a coin flip that he is Muslim. The Nigerian born man, along with his ex wife, used a fake passport to lure a teenage girl from Nigeria to his US home to force her to work as a houseservant and nanny of his 6 children for 5 years.
From WMAL here:
A Montgomery County man has pleaded guilty to holding a Nigerian teenager as a slave for five years.
Fifty-two-year-old George Udeozor, formerly of Darnestown, faces a maximum sentence of 10 years in prison followed by three years of supervised release. Udeozor also has agreed to pay the victim more than $110,000 in restitution.
According to the plea agreement, Udeozor used his oldest daughter’s passport to smuggle a 14-year-old Nigerian girl to his Maryland home in 1996. Udeozor and his then-wife used the girl as an unpaid domestic servant and child care provider. Prosecutors say the teenager was physically and sexually abused and did not go to school.
Udeozor’s ex-wife, Adaobi Stella Udeozor, was sentenced in 2006 to seven years in prison.
After his wife was busted, George fled to Nigeria. He was finally extradited to stand trial. As I had said previously, slavery is a longstanding and honored Islamic tradition. It was Muslims who rounded up Africans and sold them to the West as slaves. After fighting a war on this continent to end the practice, I don’t like the idea of a religious group trying to reintroduce it.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Hot Wings and Beer: Andy Dick Can’t Handle Them
Jul 16th
I was on the floor laughing at the mugshot of douchebag comedian Andy Dick, who was busted outside a Buffalo Wildwings (YUM!) for urinating in public and fondling a 17 year old girl. Cops found drugs on him too.
From the Smoking Gun here:
Dick, 42, was nabbed around 2 AM in a parking lot of a Buffalo Wildwings restaurant after he allegedly groped the breasts of a 17-year-old girl and then pulled the teen’s tank top and bra down, exposing her breasts. During a search of Dick, police discovered a small amount of marijuana in his pants pocket and a single Xanax pill for which he did not have a prescription. An “extremely intoxicated” Dick was booked into the Southwest Detention Center, where bail was set at $5,000
I would make a crack about how Dick would be the first choice for prison bitch, but he would like it too much. Here is a previous post where Jon Lovitz gives Dick “What Fer.”
The next obvious question is will we see him on an upcoming Celebrity Rehab?
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