I can't believe that came from your mouth!
Crime
TJMaxx Hacker Flaps Arms; Hopes Aspergers Keeps Him Out of Jail
Dec 17th
First Gary McKinnon pretended he had the assburgers. Accused of one of the largest cyber breaches against the DoD of all time, he has managed to whip up so much sympathy from leftists in Britain by faking a disease that he has managed to postpone extradition for five years. Now the biggest hacks ever committed on the commercial side will possibly go underpunished because Albert Gonzalez, aka “Segvec” started flapping his arms to say he has the assburgers too.

From the Reg here:
The international hacker who has admitted to stealing more than 130 million payment card numbers has mounted a new defense claim that he might suffer from Asperger’s syndrome, a court filing indicates.
On Tuesday, attorneys for Albert Gonzalez filed a report from a forensic psychologist that questioned the criminal hacker’s “capacity to knowingly evaluate the wrongfulness of his actions and consciously behave lawfully and avoid crime,” according to federal prosecutors. The report went on to state that his “behavior was consistent with description of the Asperger’s disorder.”
Gonzalez becomes the latest hacker under prosecution to raise the Asperger’s defense in arguing for leniency. Most notably, NASA hacker Gary McKinnon has cited the Autism-related disorder in fighting extradition to the US to face computer trespass charges. UK Home Secretary Alan Johnson has repeatedly rejected claims raised by McKinnon’s attorneys and supporters and has indicated he will not stop the forced transfer.
In August, convicted hacker Viachelav Berkovich received two years less than the minimum called for under federal sentencing guidelines after the judge in the case took the disability into consideration as a mitigating factor.
The judge hearing Gonzalez’s case has canceled a December 21 sentencing hearing, according to an entry made Wednesday on a federal court website. It’s unclear when a new hearing will be held.
People with Asperger’s are said to display behavior that’s repetitive and restricted, and they also show social awkwardness and an inability to empathize. The link between Asperger’s and crime, however, has been disputed by some researchers.
Being a social outcast is no excuse for crime. But I really don’t like this new trend of criminals claiming to suffer from an undiagnosable mental disorder to avoid prosecution or justice. People that really do suffer from this disorder should be equally upset, but of course they won’t be- they will just gather in their moms’ basements, flap their arms, and send me hate mail for daring to speak out against it.
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Reggae Singer Buju Banton Busted for Buying 5kg Cocaine
Dec 14th
What? A Jamaican Reggae Star is going to jail for buying 5 keys of coke from undercover DEA Agents? The hell you say! But its true! Buju Banton was busted in Miami for drug trafficking and will likely spend 20 years in jail.

From the AP here:
Jamaican reggae star Buju Banton is facing charges that he attempted along with others to buy a large quantity of cocaine from an undercover law enforcement officer.
A U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration affidavit says Banton, whose real name is Mark Anthony Myrie, traveled to Sarasota last week to make the purchase along with two others. The DEA was tipped off by a confidential informant who agreed to wear a recording device during the drug negotiation session.
Banton, 36, faces a charge of conspiracy to possess with intent to distribute more than five kilograms of cocaine, which carries a maximum 20-year prison sentence. Banton was being held at Miami’s downtown detention center Monday pending transfer to Tampa, where the case is being prosecuted.
The only good thing to come out of Jamaica is Red Stripe Beer.
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Great Moments in Decision Making
Dec 10th
A florida judge has ordered a makeup artist to cover up the neo-nazi tattoos of a man accused of murdering his neighbor with a knife because he didn’t like blacks visiting their home. Why the makeup? Judge fears that the swastika tattoo will prejudice the jury. The kicker? The skinhead got the tattoos after he was arrested. I don’t know who makes the worst decisions- the judge or the accused.

From NYDailyNews here:
A court is paying for a Neo-Nazi accused of murder to get an extreme makeover.
A judge has agreed the Florida court will spend up to $150 per day for the duration of 23-year-old John Ditullio’s trial for a makeup artist to conceal the accused killer’s face and neck tattoos.
Ditullio sports barbed wire across his face, an expletive on one side of his neck, and a Neo-Nazi symbol on the other side.
His attorney said covering the tattoos is necessary to see justice is served.
“When you have offensive tattoos people are going to judge you. It wouldn’t be fair to judge him because the trial should be about the facts, not about tattoos,” Bjorn Brunvand said. Ditullio’s attorney also admits Ditullio is a member of a Neo-Nazi compound that is next door to the victim’s home, but maintains Ditullio’s innocence and claims he is a victim of mistaken identity.
Prosecutors say letting Ditullio cover up the hate inked on his neck lets him hide the Neo-Nazi affiliations they claim motivated him to commit murder.
Can you get a whiter name that “Bjorn Brunvand?” And a lawyer says that being in court is not about “judging people?” Sheesh, if you can’t judge someone in court, then where can you do it?
I think the tattoos should remain uncovered as a testimony to Ditullio’s decision-making skills. And no matter how bad you think your neighborhood is, at least you don’t have a neo-nazi compound next door. Only in Florida.
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Paramedics Thought Sweat Lodge Was Scene of Mass Suicide
Dec 10th
It is shaping up to seem that not only is James Ray culpable for the deaths of four people and the injury of many others, but his hired staff looks to share much of the blame as well. Paramedics who showed up to respond to 911 calls to the Sedona sweat lodge thought at first that the scene was a mass suicide attempt!
From the Examiner here:
Former James Ray employee, Melinda Martin, told ABC’s Nightline that the paramedics who first arrived on the scene of the October 8, 2009 James Ray “Spiritual Warrior” sweat lodge retreat thought they had arrived at an attempted mass suicide. That is how horrifically out of control the situation had become.
Ms. Martin described how one man suffered severe burns. She said, “One guy, he had fallen into the pit in the middle, fallen into the pit of molten rocks and he had burned his entire arm. And all the white of his skin was gone. The skin was just hanging off of his elbow, down his legs, down both sides of his arm.” This victim was so controlled by Ray that he went back into the sweat lodge! This is the type of mind control that Charles Manson had over his followers.
People were so ill they were projectile vomiting, and so weak they were laying in their own vomit. When Ms. Martin told more senior James Ray International employees she wanted to call 911, she was told not to call because that happened before and James Ray was very angry about it.
Colleen Conaway was a new follower of James Ray. She was in debt to Ray for $12,000.00. At one of Ray’s events a few months prior to the deadly sweat lodge fiasco, Ms. Conaway committed suicide. Ray and his staff were so insensitive to her wellbeing that she layed in the morgue for seven hours before they decided to see what happened to her. For those seven hours she was simply tagged as a “Jane Doe”.
So the James Ray employees also knew that they were pushing the limits of people and even actively discouraged calls for medical assistance. Someones got lots of lawsuits coming their way.
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Psycho Shoots a Wall at NOVA Community College
Dec 9th
Jason Michael Hamilton is a rich white kid from Northern Virginia, and judging by his haircut and the fact he lived in his Mom’s basement, he was an Obama voter too. He brought a rifle to his Community College class to shoot his teacher but he murdered the wall instead. He probably won’t see the light of day until he’s 35 now.

From MSNBC here:
In a scene reminiscent of other school shootings, a Northern Virginia Community College teacher spotted a weapon and ducked to avoid gunfire. Students ran from the classroom building while others barricaded themselves inside, piling desks in front of doors.
This time, though, no one was hurt.
Police said Jason Michael Hamilton, 20, opened fire in a classroom Tuesday with a high-powered rifle, but did not hit anyone and surrendered peacefully in a hallway. He was later charged with attempted murder and discharging a firearm in a school zone and was being held without bond.
A neighbor described Hamilton as a loner who lived in his family’s basement in an affluent new subdivision near the school in Woodbridge.
Luckily no one was hurt, but where’s the police brutality when you need it?
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Alexander Again Brings Dishonor to the House of Worf
Dec 8th
Alexander Rozhenko has once again dishonored his father.

From the AP here:
A former cast member of the 1980s television show “Family Ties” has been arrested for investigation of assault in Colorado.
28-year-old Brian Bonsall got into a fight at an apartment on Saturday and hit a friend with part of a broken wooden stool.
He is being held in the Boulder County Jail and was due in court Wednesday. Jail records didn’t indicate his lawyer’s name.
Family Ties was cursed. Just look at how twitchy it made Michael J. Fox and how fat it made Tina Yothers.
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Darrell Dunafon And His Shocking Thrill-Seeking
Dec 6th
Darrell Dunafon was a dumbass. He was an adrenaline junkie always looking for the next big thrill. What could be more thrilling than illegally breaking onto private property in the middle of the night to scale a 400 foot cellphone tower? Maybe jumping off?
Probably not as thrilling as getting your chute tangled in those high-tension high-voltage powerlines. Shocker, he’s dead.
From Suntimes here:
A Tucson man has died after parachuting from a cell phone tower at night and hitting high-voltage power lines.
Pinal County sheriff’s Lt. Tamatha Villar says 23-year-old Darrell Dunafon and two friends broke into a cell tower site about 30 miles south of Phoenix on Friday night and were parachuting off the approximately 400-foot-tall antennae.
Dunafon’s parachute became tangled in nearby 12,000-volt power lines and he was shocked with a live wire.
Villar says the two friends called for help, and rescue crews turned off the power and cut Dunafon down.
I wonder if the workers who cut this dumbass down got paid overtime for being woken in the middle of the night?
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Reason 126 to HomeSchool: No Pizza and Rape Parties
Dec 6th
Meet Amy Yarbrough. She is in jail, and as a real shocker, suspended from work with no pay, because she was banging one of her students. One mom interviewed in the video below says that Yarbrough had invited her son over to her house to watch TV and eat pizza, which in teacher terms, is definitely code for “getting the rape on.”

Yarbrough was the 6th teacher in her school district that was busted for having sex with a student since 2006, which may explain why she was suspended with no pay. Usually teachers rape kids and then get free time off work with their pay, so even the school district thinks she’s guilty.
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Global Warming Help Wanted
Dec 5th
Saw this at RedState and thought it was hilarious!

It turns out that the Met is going to re-examine the CRU data and it could take years.
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Reason 129 to HomeSchool: Creepy Band Teacher Won’t Put Love Letters in Your Daughter’s Locker that Detail How Hard His Penis Gets
Dec 5th
When I was in Junior High and High School, I remember all of the school’s band directors being dirty perverts. I just thought it was something in the local water. One band director went on to get married to his first chair Clarinet. Another often remarked openly about the feminine hygeine practices of certain violinists. The one in the story below went even further and placed dirty love notes in his female students’ lockers talking about his state of arousal.

From the Smoking Gun here:
A veteran Minnesota middle school teacher left sexually suggestive notes in the lockers of two female students and was typing a third lewd letter when school officials confronted him in his classroom, according to police. Martin Bartels, 53, was charged with disorderly conduct in connection with letters found last month by two seventh grade students at Buffalo Community Middle School.
Bartels, a band teacher who has taught for 28 years, wrote in one letter that he wanted to “trace your thighs with my fingertips and make you squirm,” adding that he gets “hot and hard just thinking about it.” In a note to a second girl, Bartels wrote, “I really, really, really love your legs…I like how you show just enough to make me hard.”
Bartels, pictured above, is on paid administrative leave, according to a school district spokesperson.
Of course he is on PAID leave. Teaching is the only career where you get to attempt to rape students and then get free paid vacations. No wonder the profession attracts such perverts. Easy money, loads of free sex and tons of free time off with pay.
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Fat Bald Gay Stoner Wiccan Busted for Kidz Porn
Dec 4th
Meet Darin Steele. 10 years out of High School, this loser still lives in his Mom’s basement smoking copious amounts of pot and watches lots of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Charmed TV reruns if his ghastly MySpace page is any indication. He claims to be a gay Wiccan, but trading in child pornography simply makes him a pedophile.

From Tricities here via RedAlerts:
Someone in Bristol lifted a photograph of a young boy, between 10 and 12 years old, fully nude and in a sexual position, off the Internet in July, and then sent it to a online friend via e-mail. Investigators tracked the activity to a home on Island Road, and on Wednesday arrested Darin Steele.
Steele, 28, is charged with one count of production, financing or possession with intent to distribute sexually explicit items involving children, a class 5 felony.
Investigators seized more than 300 CDs and several computers from Steele’s home for analysis. Depending on what they find on the disks and hard drives, additional possession charges could be pending.
The transaction was flagged by a monitoring branch of the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children.
Steele lives at his mother’s house on Island Road.
What a degenerate loser. Rob Taylor at Red Alerts sneers at his Wiccan skills by saying:
Any “Witch” worth his salt would be able to conjure up enough money to move out his parents’ basement.
Seems to me he conjured up a free trip to jail.
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Kid Touching Texan Jailed for Using Twitter
Dec 3rd
A Texan kid toucher was told by the judge to stay off all social networking sites, including Facebook and Twitter. So what does he do? He starts following his Parole Officer on Twitter. Yeah, this moron’s going back to the jail.

From the Chron here by way of Red Alerts:
A registered sex offender in Beaumont who was required to stop using Twitter instead invited a probation worker to connect with him online.
A judge in Beaumont on Monday revoked the probation of 30-year-old Grandville Lindsey and ordered him to serve 15 years in prison.
Lindsey in July pleaded guilty to indecency with a child for improperly touching a 13-year-old boy.
Lindsey had been ordered not to subscribe to online social networking sites, like MySpace or Twitter, unless it was approved by probation officials.
Two Jefferson County probation officials reported that Lindsey had accessed such sites several times since August. A worker with the probation office also told the judge that Lindsey had tried to follow her on Twitter.
Enjoy your 15 years, Einstein.
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Rednecks Slaughter Cows. Police and Paranormal Hunters Blame UFO’s
Nov 28th
I have mentioned before that with the electronic age, there should be more evidence of UFO’s if they exist. Every human in North America has a camera cell phone or an electronic recording device of some type, yet no one is capable of producing a shred of evidence that alien life has visited us. Yet when some calves die or are slaughtered by drunk rednecks, some people still want to point the blame at Aliens.

Because, you know, after an alien race has perfected science to the point that they attain intestellar space travel, spend fortunes and lives to develop faster than light travel, what they really need most when crossing the galaxy are cow guts from Colorado. From Breitbart here:
A creepy string of calf mutilations in southern Colorado has a rancher and sheriff’s officials mystified.
Four calves were found dead in a pasture just north of the New Mexico state line in recent weeks. The dead calves had their skins peeled back and organs cleared from the rib cage. One calf had its tongue removed.
But rancher Manuel Sanchez has found no signs of human attackers, such as footprints or ATV tracks. And there are no signs of an animal attack by a coyote or mountain lion. Usually predators leave pools of blood or drag marks from carrying away the livestock.
Investigators doubt a person butchered the calves because there is no blood at the scene. “I’ve butchered a cow before and I know what kind of a mess it leaves,” Sgt. James Chavez said.
Some in the area believe the mutilations are the work of aliens. An area UFO chaser, Chuck Zukowski of Colorado Springs, has been to the Costilla County pasture to investigate.
Sanchez said he has sold off his 32 remaining calves out of fear more would be mutilated. He hasn’t decided how he’ll manage the remaining 40 animals in his herd.
Zukowski seems to be pitching a UFO reality TV series. He has the most to win from slaughtering cattle. And he’s local. That or the guy who bought the remaining 32 calves from a frightened rancher. But it is not aliens.
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Arm-Flapping Asspie Finally Getting Extradition
Nov 27th
For the past several months, UFO nutjob Fary McKinnon has been fighting extradition to the United States. At first, he claimed that his crimes, which were hacking into NASA and many other DOD systems was only an attempt to find UFO information, and he shouldn’t be extradited because he feared he would be tried as a terrorist and sent to GITMO.

Later he self-diagnosed himself as having Aspergers syndrome in an attempt to reclassify his crimes as being an offshoot of a retarded arm-flapping session, and if he was extradited, he would do what every asspie dreams about, which is commits suicide. And it almost worked. The British Government temporarily suspended McKinnon’s extradition but finally realized that Gary would be treated as well as any other degenerate hacker.
From the AFP here:
A Briton who hacked into US military and NASA computers faces extradition to the United States after the British government rejected last-ditch requests to block the move.
Home Secretary Alan Johnson concluded that sending Gary McKinnon to the United States would not breach his human rights, and said he has no general discretionary powers to stop the extradition.
McKinnon, who purportedely suffers from a form of autism, could spend life in prison if convicted by a US court of gaining access to 97 computers in 2001 and 2002 in the aftermath of the September 11, 2001 attacks.
His family and lawyers have warned throughout the long-running case that McKinnon, who has Asperger’s Syndrome, could commit suicide or suffer psychosis if the extradition went ahead.
McKinnon’s mother, Janis Sharp, slammed the decision as “devastating” and “barbaric,” adding that her son was terrified of extradition.
Had this dipshit came over and faced trial sooner, he would probably already be a free man. But his own turmoil has been drawn out by lawyers who have used him to create a defense that aspergers is a legal excuse for doing whatever a criminal wants to do.
I don’t think that Aspergers is a real disease anyways. If it is, then lets identify the genetic markers that will make it easy for women to abort these drains on society and be over this emergent disease in a generation or two.
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Child Rapist Granted Bail
Nov 25th
Roman Polanski managed to convince the court that he could give them 4.5 million dollars in exchange for letting sit at his Swiss chalet in the Alps under electronic monitoring. But the Swiss government said, “Not until we appeal.” So Polanski is out on bail but still in jail.
From the BBC here:
A Swiss court has accepted film-maker Roman Polanski’s plea to be freed on $4.5 m bail from a Swiss jail where he is being held for a US child sex case.
The court said Polanski could stay at his chalet in the Swiss Alps. He would be monitored by an electronic tag.
Polanski, 76, has been wanted in the US since fleeing the country in 1978 after pleading guilty to having unlawful sex a year earlier with a 13-year-old girl. On Wednesday, the Swiss Federal Criminal Court accepted Polanski’s bail plea and his offer to surrender his passport.
Polanski – who holds dual French and Polish citizenship – would stay in the prison pending a possible appeal against the ruling.
The Swiss justice ministry has 10 days to appeal against the court’s decision.
Thanks to HotAir here who wonders if Polanski may get freed because the US has stopped pursuing extradition? Is it possible that the Obama administration has bowed to Hollywood pressure and will no longer demand extradition?
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Cross-Eyed Lesbian Teacher Found Guilty of Three Sex Crimes
Nov 21st
The students of St. Croix Lutheran High School in West St. Paul, Minnesota can sleep soundly now that predatory sex criminal and former teacher Melissa Koehn is going to be locked away. She was found guilty in court on three counts of fourth-degree criminal sexual conduct. And because her victim was especially vulnerable, the jury said that the acts were “aggravated” which will make Koehn eligible for an extra long stretch in prison.

From Twincities.Com here:
A Dakota County jury deliberated 3 1/2 hours on Friday before convicting a former history teacher and basketball coach from St. Croix Lutheran High School in West St. Paul of three counts of fourth-degree criminal sexual conduct with a 17-year-old student.
Koehn, 31, of Kenosha, Wis., will be sentenced on Feb. 5 before Dakota County District Court Judge Robert King in Hastings. King on Friday ordered a pre-sentence investigation and a psychological evaluation.
Under Minnesota law, sexual contact with a 16- or 17-year-old is a felony if the perpetrator is at least four years older and in a position of authority over a teen.
The jury found there are aggravating factors, such as the victim’s vulnerability, that support a longer jail term than called for by state sentencing guidelines.
I hope she takes a better picture for her Sex Crimes Registry. And to all you morons who supported this depraved woman- I told you so.
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New and Imrpoved Supple Lip Moisturizer- Now With More Ground Up Peruvian Ass Fat!
Nov 20th
Ewwwww! Gangsters in the leftist paradise of Peru are killing their victims and then sucking all of the fat off their bones to sell as cosmetics to Europeans. This will go great with the ground up aborted fetuses they already use.
From the Guardian here:
Peruvian police have arrested a gang which killed scores of peasants, drained their bodies of fat and sold the liquid abroad as an anti-wrinkle cosmetic.
Three suspects have confessed to killing five people for their fat but the number of victims was believed to be much higher and to date back decades.
Two of the suspects were arrested at a bus station in the capital, Lima, carrying bottles of liquid fat which they claimed were worth up to £36,000 a gallon.
At a news conference police displayed two bottles of fat, which laboratory tests confirmed were human. “The fat was extracted from the thorax and thighs,” said Eusebio Felix Murga, chief of police of Dirincri district.
Europeans have nothing to complain about. That ass fat is 100% organic.
These are rival cocaine gangs that do this to each other. For those that swear the drug wars shouldn’t be fought, this is a good reason to do it.
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Hactivism I Can Support
Nov 20th
Hackers broke into computers at a Global Warming Research lab and exfiltrated tons of email and documents showing scientists lying about their data to promote fraud that Global Warming is real. They knew the evidence said otherwise, so they made up the data. This is religious fanaticism, folks. It just confirms what these protesters in the most liberal city in America, Portland, Oregan were chanting at a recent protest:
From News.Com.Au here:
Hackers have broken into the data base of the University of East Anglia’s Climatic Research Unit – one of the world’s leading alarmist centres – and put the files they stole on the Internet, on the grounds that the science is too important to be kept under wraps.
Go there and read the emails. I had tried to locate the zip file myself but it has since moved due to the flood of requests for it. But the emails show how scientists have been manipulating data to support their own beliefs in global warming. Data that refuted it were wiped, deleted or flat out falsified.
And there is another email exchange where these folks colluded to delete data that was requested in an audit. That is a criminal act if the research is funded with government money. HotAir has more details too. Thanks to Aaron for sending me down this trail.
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Sex Crime Victim Purjures Herself in Case of Cross-Eyed Lesbian Teacher
Nov 19th
Melissa Koehn has finally appeared in court for having sex with one of her students. But when the prosecution asked the victim to describe what happened, the student said she “didn’t remember.” Since the police already have a confession from Melissa Koehn on tape, this statement by the student is what you would call “purjury.”

What’s with the Christian girls getting it on with each other and then lying about it in court? Jesus disapproves! From the Twin Cities paper here:
Prosecutors alleging an illicit relationship between a former teacher from St. Croix Lutheran High School in West St. Paul and a standout girls basketball player were thrown a curveball Wednesday when the teen testified that she did not remember having sexual contact with Melissa Koehn, her former coach.
Koehn, 31, of Kenosha, Wis., faces three counts of fourth-degree criminal sexual conduct involving someone age 16 or 17. It is a felony charge because the suspect is more than four years older than the alleged victim and was in a position of authority over her at the time.
The student took the witness stand in Dakota County District Court after opening arguments, followed by her mother.
When the Eagan teen began cutting herself, withdrawing and showing other symptoms of depression, her mother said, she was initially grateful to receive support from Koehn, the teen’s former history teacher and basketball coach.
At first, Koehn doted on the sophomore and enjoyed dinners, camping, a ski trip and social outings with the family, said the teen’s mother. Then it became obvious that Koehn’s attention had spiraled into late-night phone calls, constant text messages and a revealing love letter, the mother said.
After finding the love letter in the teen’s bedroom in the summer of 2008, her mother said, she contacted Koehn by e-mail and asked her to back off.
“Ms. Koehn needed to be needed constantly,” the mother testified. “She said she wasn’t in love with my daughter. She said she loved my daughter and cared about her.”
But the behavior escalated. Koehn was arrested in December a day after an Apple Valley police officer discovered her kissing the girl in a parked car, the two of them fully reclined.
Charges state they were interviewed separately by investigators, and both acknowledged they’d had sexual contact with each other several times beginning in August 2008. According to the charges, the victim was 17 at the time of the abuse.
Both confessed to the sex. And the victim, if she is now claiming is not a sex crime victim should be identified in the press. Up until now no one wanted to identify her to protect her privacy. But if she is recanting her story, then there is no need for privacy.
Also, Melissa Koehn’s actions were quite typical for dangerous sexual predators. She singled out the emotionally crippled- the weak, and therefore the most vulnerable to attack and she exploited the girl. Obviously she still holds some sway over the girl to get her to purjure herself in court.
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Tragic Chimp Victim Speaks to a Fat Oprah
Nov 13th
I have received a lot of negative feedback about my James Ray posts. Family members of the so-called victims of James Ray’s cult teachings admonish me for referring to his willing, paying suckers as “stupid.” Some have even threatened me for my classification of the deceased. You want to know what I call a “victim?” It’s someone who didn’t deserve the tragedy to happen to them, like the woman who had her limbs and face ripped off by an outraged chimpanzee.

I originally wrote about the story here. Below is a video of a fat Oprah Winfree interviewing the mangled woman:
What a horribly sad story. No one could ever deserve such a tragedy, and to be a single Mom too is heartbreaking. Is there anything this woman could have done to prevent this horrific mauling?
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