I can't believe that came from your mouth!
Bizarre
Talking About Liposuction for Kids
Jan 5th
This jelly roll needs a few of those £7,000 vouchers to get the fat sucked out of her. And her miscreant child too.
And just think, in a mere 10 years she can get beat up by her first black boyfriend live on the Jerry Springer show.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!)
Loading ...
Mother of the Year Gets 7YO Daughter Liposuction
Jan 4th
A despicable British woman, Sarah Burge, addicted to plastic surgery, got a voucher for her seven-year-old daughter to get liposuction. Yeesh.
From the Dailymail here:
A seven-year-old who received a voucher for a boob job on her last birthday has received yet another inappropriate gift from her surgery-obsessed mother: A £7,000 voucher for liposuction. Little Poppy Burge received the gift in her Christmas stocking after her mother, a 51-year-old plastic surgery addict known as The Human Barbie, decided it would ‘come in handy’.
‘I put the voucher in her stocking – there’s nothing wrong with that,’ she said. ‘She asks for surgery all the time. She wants to look good and lipo is one of those procedures that will always come in handy. I see these vouchers as investing in her future – like saving money for her education.’
Miss Burge, who has spent more than £500,000 on her own surgical enhancements is determined to transform her daughter into a glamour model.
This self absorbed freakish woman is going to ruin this child. But then again, Poppy Burge is a solid 4 and needs all the help she can get.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...
Steven Tyler Needs a Next Door Neighbor Who Has a Daughter and a Favor
Jan 3rd
So he can get the little girl’s training bra.
Thanks to TMZ. Gadzooks! I think he and Barney Frank can now commence man-tit rasslin’!
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...
WalMart Employees Smarter than You Think
Jan 1st
A dude created or printed a fake Million Dollar bill and tried to spend it at WalMart. Now he’s in jail trying to pay his bail.
From JournalNow here:
A Lexington man tried to use a fake $1 million bill to pay for his purchases at a Walmart.
Michael Anthony Fuller, 53, walked into the Walmart on Lowes Boulevard in Lexington on Nov. 17. He shopped for a while, picking up a vacuum cleaner, a microwave oven and other merchandise, totaling $476.
When he got to the register, Fuller gave the cashier the phony bill, saying that it was real. Store staff called police.
Fuller was later charged with attempting to obtain property by false pretense and uttering a forged instrument, both felonies.
Fuller was being held Friday night in the Davidson County Jail with bond set at $17,500.
The stupidity; it’s staggering.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...
Got the TShirt
Dec 31st
I haven’t had the chance to read Abe Lincoln the Vampire Slayer, but I’m meaning to now that they are making the movie. But I just got the shirt from TeeFury.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...Steve Jobs is Riding the Turbo Blooper on Rainbow Road
Dec 29th
The video below has been around for a while, but I only just became aware of it, its strangeness and its wonderful new euphemism for death: Riding the Rainbow Road.
Thus, Steve Jobs is riding the rainbow road, as is Kim Jong Il and Patrice O’Neal. Thanks to [GAS]!
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...Chemtrails Really Can Be Dissolved With Vinegar
Dec 27th
You really have to weep for the idiocy that infests this country when you realize these people have the right to vote.
Watch this moronic mom make her son videotape her hunting contrails from overhead jets while she sprays vinegar into her back yard. She thinks the government is spraying chemicals in addition to jet exhaust to make people derpy, and she knows this is a fact because she is a chemistry and physics genius.
The planes fly at 6 miles of altitude, and with just a few degrees at an angle toward the horizon makes the aircraft, and their corresponding contrails of frozen vapor, about ten miles away. Pythagorean’s theorem puts the commercial aircraft about 12 miles away. Yet somehow, spraying vinegar at your dandelions makes the contrails dissipate. Can anyone please tell me how the science behind this works?
What do they do about spraying chemtrails at night when they are invisible? Or now that the youtube videos are out there blowing the lid off this conspiracy, won’t the government just make chemtrails that are impervious to vinegar?
At least she’s not as whacky as the Obama voter that blamed rainbows in her sprinkler on Bush.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...
Sinead O’Connor Still Making Good Decisions
Dec 27th
The 45 year old failed lesbian singer Sinead O’Connor announced on her website that her marriage to a man has ended after 18 days, but in actuality, it ended 3 hours after the nuptials. Sinead apparently took her new groom on a wild ride to find some marijuana.
From her website here:
Within 3 hours of the ceremony being over the marriage was kyboshed by the behaviour of certain people in my husband’s life. And also by a bit of a wild ride i took us on looking for a bit of a smoke of weed for me wedding night as I don’t drink. My husband was enormously wounded and very badly effected by that experience and also by the attitude of those close to him toward our marriage. It became apparent to me that if he were to stay with me he would be losing too much to bear. And that being with me was not going to serve him positively , career wise or any other wise. I saw his life leave him because of how people close to him reacted. And I can’t take anyone’s life. And a woman wants to be a joy to her husband. So.. U love someone? Set them free.
Most people grow up and start making wiser decisions, but its clear that Sinead O’Connor is going to make a lifetime out of bad choices. Nothing compares to her failures.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Awesome Hungry Toad Finds the Perfect App
Dec 22nd
I was totally only going to post this because of the great marriage of a frog and a bug-smooshing app on a smartphone. And then I saw the ending.
Never LOLed harder.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...
Death of an Ass Eater
Dec 20th
Meet Deangelo Mitchell. He killed his brother by having him eat the cocaine out of his ass.
The two brothers were busted trafficking in cocaine. They get thrown in the squad car, and the older brother begs the younger one to eat the cocaine out of his ass so he doesn’t go to jail for life. The younger brother died from cocaine overdose and now the older brother is being charged with manslaughter.
From ABC here:
Wayne Joshua Mitchell, 20,died after he ate an ounce of cocaine that was hidden in his brother’s buttocks. Authorities plan to charge the victim’s brother 23-year-old Deangelo Rashard Mitchell, with involuntary manslaughter.
The incident happened when both brothers were in the back of a police car on November 30. The two had been arrested for trafficking. Video from inside the police car captured a conversation between the brothers, where Deangelo pleads with his younger brother to take the cocaine in his bottom and eat it to get rid of it.
“One of us gotta do it, you the only one that don’t have any strikes. …You my little brother… I’m gonna get life,” Deangelo said to Wayne.
His bother complied and ate the drugs. When officers saw the cocaine residue on the seat where Wayne sat, Deangelo told officers that his brother swallowed cocaine. Within the hour, Dwayne struggled to breathe, bled from his mouth and died.
Deangelo was charged with trafficking drugs and bonded out of jail December 1.
Now Deangelo is going to rot in jail and his brother’s last act on earth was to eat his asshole.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Jimmy Kimmel is a Child Abusing Cult Leader
Dec 13th
For laughs, Jimmy Kimmel tells his audience on TV to abuse their kids and the parents happily film their child abuse and posts it up on YouTube. Last time it was with Halloween Candy, and this time its giving really crappy presents.
That one fat kid is seriously emotionally unbalanced. Awesome that his adoptive Dad would film his breakdown for all the world to see. Next time Jimmy is going to ask parents to buy vicious pit bulls and ask parents to film their kids being mauled. That’s funny, right?
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Dear God! Creepy Gingers and Laughing Dolls!
Dec 6th
Wow, does this commercial stab at your soul with knitting needles or what?
Gotta love those head whips and the snaggled teeth!
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...
Mindy McCready’s Son Sent Back To Cuba
Dec 3rd
After an intense interstate chase that ended in the backwoods of an Arkansas Trailer Park, the Department of Justice captured Mindy McCready’s 5 year old son, Zander, and handed him over to Cuban officials. Former Attorney General of the United States, Janet Reno, had her first ever orgasm at the news.
From MusicMix here:
Mindy McCready’s 5-year-old son found ‘hiding in a closet’ with mom
By the time Arkansas authorities took country singer Mindy McCready’s 5-year-old son from her and into custody on Friday evening, one thing had already become apparent to much of America: McCready’s life has come to resemble a bad country song.
Mindy is reportedly very upset at the DOJ’s decision to send her son back to Castro’s Communist Regime, but is more upset about the broken closet door at her boyfriend’s trailer. “I just had this door painted, ya’ll” was her statement released via her attorney.
McCready, who is pregnant with twins, is hopeful that she can one day embroil those children in an interstate manhunt as well.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...Gadzooks, This is Why Terrorists Hate Us
Dec 2nd
Freakin’ BUNNIES.
I wonder if Miriam Sakewitz will be there?
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...
City Union Members Use Witchcraft in Negotiations
Dec 2nd
A Santeria Birdseed plot has resulted in one non-union idiot being fired and another one in hot water.
From the MiamiHerald here:
Two North Miami Beach police department employees allegedly tried to cast a spell over the city manager’s office.
A note to prospective municipal employees: If you’re looking for a way to help out beleaguered colleagues, casting a spell on your boss is probably not the way to go. Two North Miami Beach employees — one a police officer, the other a department office manager — are in hot water after trying to enlist some supernatural aid in the form of what they believed to be a Santeria practice.
Their alleged target: City Manager Lyndon Bonner, whose plan to slash the police budget prompted protests and union outrage this fall.
Their mystical material: handfuls of birdseed which, according to an internal affairs report, they hoped to scatter in and around Bonner’s fourth-floor office at City Hall. But when they tried to recruit a janitor to sprinkle the seeds, she balked — and turned them in.
Officer Elizabeth Torres told investigators she meant the manager no harm: “I want to clarify, that it’s nothing malicious and nothing intended to hurt that person.” She was told last week she faced termination over the August incident, which took place against the backdrop of a contentious budget season. Unionized city employees must go through an appeal process before they can be fired.
Office manager Yvonne Rodriguez, who is not a member of the union, was fired last week for her role in the plot.
While Santeria practitioners have argued that their practice constitutes a legitimate religion and bristle at depictions of the practice as black magic or witchcraft, they acknowledge that public displays of their traditions can spook non-believers. And both adherents and experts say that the Afro-Cuban religion, itself an amalgamation of Catholicism and African spiritual traditions, does not count malice — such as casting harmful spells — as one of its principles.
So if their fake religion of Santeria wasn’t going to harm the City manager, what the hell was the purpose of getting the stupid birdseed then? It most certainly wasn’t going to be a blessing or a which for success for the manager, now was it?
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Broken Chinese Bacon
Nov 30th
The chinese have to learn to stop playing with what is supposed to be food for other people. Seriously, they eat tiger penises and puppy dogs and cats, but won’t kill a retarded deformed animal that produces lovely treats like sausage and bacon?
Quick, someone show this to Sarah McLachlan and see if she can come up with a song about broken chinese bacon!
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...
Tramp Gets Epic TrampStamp
Nov 29th
A stupid woman named Rossie Brovent slept around on her tattoo artist boyfriend- and that line right there demonstrates the amazing decision-making ability of this woman. She then got drunk with her boyfriend, signed a waiver, and passed out while she received a tattoo of what she thought was supposed to be a scene out of the Narnia Chronicles. Again, decision-making is not one of Rossie’s character traits. She ended up with this:
Yep, she got a steaming pile of poo with flies swarming it. From the Sun here:
A FURIOUS woman is suing her ex-boyfriend after he tattooed a steaming poo on her back.
Rossie Brovent wants $100,000 in damages from Ryan Fitzjerald.Rossie, from Dayton, Ohio, US, wanted a scene from the Narnia trilogy inked on her back. Instead she was left with a pile of excrement with flies buzzing around it.
Tattoo artist Ryan turned rogue after discovering that Rossie had cheated on him with his best friend.
Rossie originally tried to have her ex-lover charged with assault but she had signed a consent form agreeing the tattoo design was “at the artist’s discretion”.
She said: “He tricked me by drinking a bottle of cheap wine with me and doing tequila shots before I signed it and got the tattoo. Actually I was passed out for most of the time, and woke up to this horrible image on my back.”
Yeah, like a tattoo artist has a hundred grand lying around. I think Ryan did the nation a favor by properly labeling a container.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...
We Could All Look Like Zoidberg
Nov 28th
Supposedly mankind at one point in our evolutionary history crept out of the ocean. Fast forward a billion years and we are the big ticket lottery winners of the race to the top of the food chain. But what if another critter managed to beat us out of that briny pool? Would we all look like Dr. Zoidberg?
Thanks to Steve Huff’s Tumblr Page:
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...**SIGH** Black Friday Crowds Are Crazy
Nov 25th
Two quick videos on the Black Friday shopping craze- first, this is how the folks in Taiwan see us, and it is indeed hilarious.
And next is this video by Drudge who shows a melee over a two dollar waffle maker. You’ve never seen an asscrack battle royale? Well, this is it.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...
Hate Crimin’ the Missus
Nov 16th
LB Williams, pictured here, was arrested for committing a fake hate crime against his white wife. When she threatened to leave him, he did the third thing that came to his mind: He burned a cross in his own driveway and blamed it on the KKK.
From the NewsHerald here:
A recent cross burning at the home of a Panama City mixed-race couple does not signal the resurgence of the Ku Klux Klan; it was the symptom of something understandable to anyone who’s ever been afraid of losing someone.
LB Williams, a 50-year-old black man, his wife of nearly seven years Donna Williams, who is white, and their bi-racial daughter found a cross burning in their driveway Nov. 4. Their grandchild was home too.
“When I saw that cross burning, I was scared to death,” Donna Williams said. “I was terrified…we all were.”
Two days later, Donna found a note taped to the front door and the side entrance of the house. She paraphrased:
“They were watching us, I assumed me and the kids, and that I better not leave that [N-word],” Donna Williams said. The note was signed “KKK.”
“When did the KKK start supporting black and white, interracial marriages?” she asked.
Police thought so too. On Monday, LB Williams admitted to setting the fire and posting the notes, according to the arrest affidavit charging him with two felonies: domestic violence stalking and exhibits that intimidate. He did it, he said, so she wouldn’t proceed with the divorce she filed for.
You have to wonder which options LB decided against before going with Plan C- hate crimin’ the Missus?
And this stupid article sure attempts to go a long way to paint this crazy bastard as a love-struck romantic- the author editorialized inserting these descriptions:
it was the symptom of something understandable to anyone who’s ever been afraid of losing someone.
It wasn’t a hate crime, but a love crime.
It’s hard to know what was going through LB Williams’ head
Aww, how touching, a violent symbol of Democratic Party Terror is actually a touching love note. I think the cross burning worked as the wife will be sure to vote for Obama.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...
