I can't believe that came from your mouth!
Bizarre
Russia Has Rednecks Too
Sep 7th
Saw someone post this on Twitter. A car that has tank treads.
You can see more of this redneck engineering at EnglishRussia here.
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See? I Told You Your Psycho Ex Girlfriend Was Too Fat
Sep 2nd
This is Doctor Jacquelyn Kotarac. She was the typical psycho ex girlfriend right up to the end when she tried to stalk her ex boyfriend by sliding down the chimney of his home. She got stuck and slowly died. See? That’s why he wouldn’t give her a key.
From Spreadit here:
Dr. Jacquelyn Kotarac attempted to get into her boyfriend’s home, and ending up dying on her way in , she first used a shovel to attempt the break in, which failed. Not giving up, she got a ladder, and climbed the roof and removing the cap that seals in the chimney. Her plan, seemingly, was to slide down the chimney into the home. Instead, she got stuck on the way down and ended up dying.
The couple had a tumultuous relationship, being an on and off again couple for sometime, which was obviously taking a strain on Kotarac.
“She made an unbelievable error in judgment and nobody understands why, and unfortunately she’s passed away,” Moodie told The Associated Press. “She had her issues – she had her demons – but I never lost my respect for her.”
The body was not found by Moodie, but instead being found by a housesitter a few days after, through a strong stench that was emanating from the fireplace, and some fluids leaking down.
EEEwww at the fluids. Hey, lets all look at the video.
Do you think Moodie’s home owner’s insurance will pay for “crazy bitch stuck in chimney?” I don’t think my own insurance has such a rider. I might have a coverage gap there.
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Would Time Travelers Exist?
Aug 26th
If it were possible to travel through time, then there must be time travelers among us. And they would therefore appear during times of monumental and historical events. For instance, if you wanted to set out to capture a time traveler, wouldn’t you set a trap for one in or around the World Trade Center on 9/11? Or maybe during the initiation phase of the Hadron Collider?
From CNET here:
A would-be saboteur arrested today at the Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland made the bizarre claim that he was from the future. Eloi Cole, a strangely dressed young man, said that he had travelled back in time to prevent the LHC from destroying the world.
The LHC successfully collided particles at record force earlier this week, a milestone Mr Cole was attempting to disrupt by stopping supplies of Mountain Dew to the experiment’s vending machines.
Mr Cole, who was wearing a bow tie and rather too much tweed for his age, would not reveal his country of origin. “Countries do not exist where I am from. The discovery of the Higgs boson led to limitless power, the elimination of poverty and Kit-Kats for everyone. It is a communist chocolate hellhole and I’m here to stop it ever happening.”
Mr Cole was taken to a secure mental health facility in Geneva but later disappeared from his cell. Police are baffled, but not that bothered.
Scary. I also have a theory that crop circles are caused by time travelers because those areas are long-time documented as being devoid of concrete buildings that would be very bad to re-emerge into during a time jump.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Finally! They Found a Way to Deep Fry Beer!
Aug 25th
They put it in a pretzel pouch and deep fry it. When its finished, you bite into it and the beer acts like a pretzel dip.
From Friedbeer.net here:
As a result of three years of research and development, we are now excited to present Fried Beer™ to the world! Everyone will have a chance to try Fried Beer™ at the 2010 State Fair of Texas which opens September 26, 2010.
By using our patent pending process, we are able to place beer inside a salty pretzel like dough, and deep fry it. When you take a bite, beer pours out of the inside pocket of dough. You have to be over the age of 21 to purchase Fried Beer™.
Three years to make such a fantastic product! I bet it would taste great with a fried pickle and deep fried oreo!
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Just Not a Cat Person
Aug 24th
This lady throws away perfectly good pussy.
The cat’s okay, but the woman is now the subject of an angry facebook group and is now supposedly under police protection.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...TNG Lyrics As Sung by Fat Dork
Aug 23rd
Space- the final frontier. Where fat dorks borrow their mom’s video cameras to film themselves in their tripleXL Command Red shirts singing a made up song that poses as lyrics to Star Trek’s Next Generation Series.
This big boy has no idea about the Starfleet regs against eating triple beef burritos from Taco Bell. How did he get four pips on his collar? He’s clearly a yellow-shirted crewman at best. He looks more like the captain of the Axiom. Thanks to [GAS] for the hilarious video!
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...MOTY: Floggin’ Molly Mom Shares Porn Stash
Aug 23rd
What a happy family- Mom gives her toddler a gift of porno- a box set too!
What’s really bad is this may be the closest this downsey ginger kid gets to the real thing.
As it turns out, this isn’t a DVD. Its 52 dirty sex position cards. Maybe Mommy’s showing “Baby Thrud” how she’s going to bang out his future baby sister.
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What’s Worse Than Sitting Next to a Sweaty Fattie on a Plane?
Aug 20th
Maybe sitting next to this guy. He was spotted by a passenger boarding an American Airlines flight in Dallas/FW.
CNN has the story here, claiming that if a woman had been wearing this she wouldn’t be allowed to board-
Lisa Oaks posted an iReport this week that caught our eye — a photo of a man in the Dallas Fort-Worth Airport wearing short shorts and a halter top. “This is ok for a male revue nightclub, but not for public daytime,” said Oaks, whose husband Mark snapped the shot.
According to Mark, the passenger was allowed to board his American Airlines flight, which he said came as a surprise. “If a woman was dressed like that, there’s no way she would get past the parking lot,” he said. Lisa echoed his thoughts. “Rules of dress in public places like airports should be uniform policy and enforced for all sexes,” she explained.
American Airlines’ conditions of carriage state that passengers who are “clothed in a manner that would cause discomfort or offense to other passengers” may be refused entry on flights. We have contacted the airline for additional comments on this issue.
Of course he got on the plane. American Airlines doesn’t want to seem insensitive to teh gays. But his 7 oz tube of Astroglide was confiscated by TSA.
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Anna Paquin Really Needs To Buy Tampons
Aug 20th
Having stunt sex with two guys during that “no so fresh” time of the month is pretty gross, but its worse if you do that and then put it on the cover of the Rolling Stone.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...There is an App for That. Really?
Aug 18th
Yes, really.
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(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...10 AM Music: YeaSayer – “Madder Red”
Aug 18th
Good morning! Here is the very hot Kristen Bell who stars in this video for a band I’d never heard of singing a totally forgettable song. Check out her stud of a boyfriend/burnvictim/soccerball. You’ll see what I mean.
Awesome comment from the YouTube:
What the fuck did i just watch?! That made no sense?! Hot girl cares for her burn victim cat that one? day fell into a bucket of acid and razor blades. It starts to bleed. She leaves it to go for an audition driving an invisible car mean while her mother force feeds burny acid bleeding cat until it starts to die!
They rush it tot the vet and it dies…then it turns into simbas dad from the lion king and looks down from the clouds like some weird disfigured angel.
WHAT THE HELL PEOPLE?!
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Villagers Bag Another Witch, Proves They Don’t Float
Aug 16th
BelchSpeak offers a heartfelt “Way to go!” to the villagers in Uttar Pradesh for discovering a treacherous witch amongst them and tossing her in a well. Uttar Pradesh is on the border with Tibet, so you know these people are like, “way enlightened” so I’m sure they knew what they were doing.
From the DeccanHerald here:
A 65-year-old woman, who was accused of practising witchcraft, was thrashed and then thrown into a well by members of a family in Uttar Pradesh.
The woman, identified as Kaushalya Devi was fished out of the well by the villagers but she had died by then. According to reports, some people, all members of a family, suspected that Kaushalya Devi practised “withcraft.” They also suspected that she was behind the death of a little girl in the village a few days back.
On Saturday evening, one Dallu, his wife and another person allegedly caught hold of Kaushalya Devi and started thrashing her with lathis (sticks) and bricks. They later threw a profusely bleeding Kaushalya Devi into the village well.
I wouldn’t worry about the village’s well water. I’m sure these folk have advanced scientific methods to clean witch blood from the drinking water.
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Tila Tequila Pelted with Bottles at Gathering of the Juggalos
Aug 15th
Diminutive whore Tila Tequila, who became famous for showing her titties on the Internet, for some reason agreed to perform at the massive gathering of the trashiest of the white trash, the “Gathering of the Juggalos” in Illinois. No sooner than she climbed the steps to perform than she was pelted with rocks and bottles. She flashed the clown-faced crowd, which became enraged, and had to flee for her life. She was cut in the face.
From CNN here:
Reality TV star Tila Tequila suffered facial cuts when she was pelted with rocks and bottles while performing at a music festival in Illinois early Saturday.
“She’s pretty cut up,” said a performer who saw the violence at the “Gathering of the Juggalos” in rural Hardin County, Illinois. The witness asked not to be identified so that he does not anger the juggalos.
Tequila, a Playboy model who also sings, posted a Twitter message Saturday, saying she would sue the festival, which is organized for fans of the hip-hop group Insane Clown Posse.
The fans are mostly young people who sometimes wear clown make up and are referred to as juggalos and juggalettes.
The performer said a mob of hundreds chased Tequila from the stage and surrounded the trailer where she sought refuge. They rocked the trailer and smashed its windows.
Tequila eventually escaped, but only after windows in her SUV were smashed.
Yeah, if you think this is the bizarre part of the story, she was the warmup act for the watermelon smashing comic has been, Gallagher.
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McDonalds Criticized for Giving Away Marvel Characters
Aug 10th
I’m really beginning to think that whackjob leftists who hate McDonalds and their Happy Meals are just bitter sterile women and cranky gay men who hate their own childhood and want to take childhood away from other kids. Now the Thing and the Human Torch are being criticized as childrens toys in the Happy Meals because they represent violence. Sheesh.
From Commercialfreechildhood here:
It’s hard to believe, but McDonald’s Happy Meal toys have hit a new low.
The fast food giant’s latest giveaway for preschool boys features eight Marvel comic action figures. One, The Human Torch, is a man engulfed in flames. Another, The Thing, menacingly roars “IT’S CLOBBERIN’ TIME!” at the press of a button.
It’s bad enough that McDonald’s relentlessly uses junk toys to sell children on junk food. It’s awful that this giveaway continues the troubling trend of fast food restaurants promoting toys linked to violent PG-13 movies. And it’s terrible that McDonald’s, the leading distributor of toys in the United States, relentlessly perpetuates the worst gendered stereotypes with its Happy Meal giveaways. During the current promotion, boys get violent action figures with their burgers and fries, while girls are offered cutesy animals that, bizarrely, come with hand bags.
But now, for preschool boys, a so-called happy meal at McDonald’s features the horrifying spectacle of a man on fire and a menacing figure that explicitly spurs them to violence.
I think these vegan pussies don’t like superheros because they can lift more than 100 pounds. As far as gender stereotypes, only gender-confused people fail to understand that there is actually a difference between boys and girls. I suppose this group would rather have McDonalds give away anatomically correct dolls having gay sex?
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Klingon Language Cave Tour
Aug 7th
Nerdiness has assimilated the world better than Borg nanoprobes. In Australia there are caves that were once featured in a Star Trek TNG episode about Klingons. They have a tour there in several languages, and now, they are the first official tour on the planet for speakers of the Klingon Language.
From Reuters here:
Staff at the Jenolan Caves west of Sydney have added a new out-of-this-world attraction — a tour in the Star Trek language Klingon.
Currently a self-guided audio tour at the caves in the Blue Mountains is offered in eight languages, but staff came up with the idea of adding the fictional language Klingon as the caves did once feature in the popular TV series.
“In the Star Trek universe, Jenolan Caves was first immortalized in the Next Generation episode ‘Relics,’ through the naming of a ‘Sydney Class’ Starship – the USS Jenolan,” the Jenolan Caves Reserve Trust said in a statement.
“We wanted to do something a bit obscure and we will now be the first tourist attraction on this planet at least to have a Klingon tour.”
Nerds.
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(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...Chinese Pipeline Explodes, Killing 4; 300 Injured, OMG That Cute Monkey Saved That Puppy!
Aug 6th
Some Chinese building was being demolished for scrap, and a pipeline carrying ethylene gas was ignited causing a spectacular fireball that killed workers and injured hundreds. But that disaster isn’t the news here.
This monkey was photographed while it was rescuing a little puppy.
From NowPublic here:
Here is a bizarre bit of news coming out of the pipeline explosion in Nanjing, China that killed 13 people and injured 300, and no it is not the news that 4 people were arrested – it is this remarkable photo of monkey grabbing a puppy dog and running away from the explosion and fire.
BP should take notes. Next time they pollute a major body of water, just stage a dolphin rescuing a kitten. Then name the dolphin “Beep, the BP wonder fish.”
Anyone else think this puppy was already dead and this monkey was making off with food? Or were they BOTH on the menu and this is just a fortunate jailbreak?
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(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 6) Loading ...Hide Yo Kids, Dey Rapin Evrybody Out Heah!
Aug 6th
I don’t know what’s going on in Huntsville, Alabama, but it sure gets Antoine Dodson pretty feisty.
Rape is not funny ya’ll. Stop laughing. But maybe if you put it to an autotuned rap song, it might be a little funny, but I don’t think so.
Okay, I was wrong.
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(2 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...Bad Day Fishing
Aug 3rd
Koral Wira’s Dad is very proud of his fishing catch, a large barracuda. Koral looks a little freaked out standing next to this sharp-toothed undersea menace to swimmers.
That’s because her dad is posing with the fish that did this to her arm, requiring 50 stitches according to Buzzfeed.
I didn’t know it until now, but barracuda swim in groups called “batteries.”
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Male Cheerleading is NOT Gay
Jul 30th
Whoever said cheerleading was gay should take it back. Heck, George W Bush was a male cheerleader, and even HE didn’t have the moves this guy does. This cheerleading team has a strong base!
I’ve watched it a few times now and I don’t know whether its so funny because this dude is so into it, or because those skinny bitches around him really don’t seem to be giving it all they got.
I can hear it now:
“Lisa, seriously, I don’t know why we have to have Ricky on our cheer squad!”
I know, Shiela! What the hell is Title 9, and why won’t Ricky eat it like he eats everything else?”
“Did you see him try the splits last week Lisa? With all that energy, you’d think he’d lose some weight. I’m so little I can feel his gravitational pull when he gets too close!”
C’mon ladies, show some chunky spirit like this fella! Thanks to Tosh.
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Projecting the Mongrel
Jul 29th
Obama went on the View today and declared that black people are “mongrels.” This from the half-white top democrat of the country.
President Obama waded into the national race debate in an unlikely setting and with an unusual choice of words: telling daytime talk show hosts that African-Americans are “sort of a mongrel people.”
When asked about his background, which includes a black father and white mother, Obama said of African-Americans: “We are sort of a mongrel people.”
“I mean we’re all kinds of mixed up,” Obama said. “That’s actually true of white people as well, but we just know more about it.”
So although Obama was the only person of mixed race on the show, he declared that all blacks were “mongrels.” White folks too, but Obama and “team black” know more about that than white folk.
I think the only person sensitive about his skin color is Obama. Is he projecting his feelings calling an entire race of people half-breeds? Good God, this man needs a teleprompter at all times.
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