Cripples Make the Best Disney Tour Guides

If you think its awful that society makes handicapped people sort through glas bottles at the recycling center, then why not take a gimp with you to Disney? You get instant cuts to the front of the line.

From the Post here:

Some wealthy Manhattan moms have figured out a way to cut the long lines at Disney World — by hiring disabled people to pose as family members so they and their kids can jump to the front, The Post has learned.

The “black-market Disney guides” run $130 an hour, or $1,040 for an eight-hour day.

“My daughter waited one minute to get on ‘It’s a Small World’ — the other kids had to wait 2 1/2 hours,” crowed one mom, who hired a disabled guide through Dream Tours Florida.

“You can’t go to Disney without a tour concierge,’’ she sniffed. “This is how the 1 percent does Disney.”

The woman said she hired a Dream Tours guide to escort her, her husband and their 1-year-old son and 5-year-old daughter through the park in a motorized scooter with a “handicapped” sign on it. The group was sent straight to an auxiliary entrance at the front of each attraction.

Disney allows each guest who needs a wheelchair or motorized scooter to bring up to six guests to a “more convenient entrance.”

A thousand bucks per day and a free trip to Disney? If I was disabled, this would be a dream job. But as a Pro Tip, if you have to wait 2.5 hours for the Small World ride, shoot yourself in the face. You are doing Disney wrong. There’s a thing called fast passes and magic hours.