Stoner Chicago Man Arrested for Fatal Gay Sex With a Peacock

The peacock is the most colorful of the male birds. David Beckman, below, raped his peacock in the cloaca, and managed to get arrested for it.

From NBC here, which, by the way, has a peacock as its official logo:

David Beckman, 64, faces a charge of misdemeanor animal cruelty after police said he sexually abused his pet peacock.

Beckman was charged with the crime after police learned the bird died while they were investigating Beckman about an alleged case of indecent solicitation of a child.
Details surrounding the case with the peacock, reportedly named Phyl, were unclear Friday

Court records confirmed Beckman faces three charges of harassment by telephone, unlawful possession of drug paraphernalia, two counts of marijuana possession, attempted indecent solicitation of a child, cruelty to animals, and two counts of battery.

Look, it wouldn’t be so gay if he banged a peaHEN, not a peacock. And he screwed it to death. David Beckman apparently smokes a couple of doobs, bangs a peacock, and asks kids to sit on his lap. Or Thursday. I’m sure Beckman will say the peacock was coming onto HIM.