Blame it On My Mucous Trail BABY!

Rat-sized, disease-spreading, stucco-chewing giant land snails have invaded Florida. For occasions such as this, I have to repost this awesome song:

From FoxNews here:

South Florida residents are being warned to be on the lookout for one of the world’s most destructive invasive species: the giant African land snail, which can grow as big as a rat.

The huge mollusks were first spotted in Florida in 2011, and their numbers are growing. More than 1,000 are being caught each week in Miami-Dade County and more will continue to emerge from hibernation in the coming weeks.

The snails can gnaw through stucco and plastic, and attack “over 500 known species of plants … pretty much anything that’s in their path and green,” said Denise Feiber, a spokeswoman for the Florida Department of Agriculture and Consumer Services.

In some Caribbean countries, such as Barbados, which are overrun with the creatures, the snails’ shells blow out tires on the highway and turn into hurling projectiles from lawnmower blades, while their slime and excrement coat walls and pavement.

“It becomes a slick mess,” Feiber said

A typical snail can produce about 1,200 eggs a year and the creatures are a particular pest in homes because of their fondness for stucco, devoured for the calcium content they need for their shells.

The snails also carry a parasitic rat lungworm that can cause illness in humans, including a form of meningitis

Snails are hermaphrodites. They have both sex organs, but they do require a mate to procreate. I think you can still trap them with pools of beer, but I don’t know about wasting a 40 of Old English 800 for giant snails- maybe some PBR- which come to think of it, also traps annoying Hipsters. I wonder if Hipsters shrivel when you throw salt on them?