Assault Lion Gobbles Obama Voter

No, this is not a repeat of yesterday’s story. A stupid hippie chick by the name of Dianna Hanson loved big cats. Rather than working for money like a normal person, she sold herself into slavery at a big cat park near Fresno California for six months as an “intern.” She also loved hemp necklaces and despised makeup. She broke into the lion cage to give snuggles to a big male lion by the name of “Cous Cous” who promptly tried to eat her. Police then killed the lion to drag her hippie corpse out of the cage.

From AP here:

Authorities are trying to determine what provoked a lion at an exotic animal park in Central California to attack and maul to death a 24-year-old woman, who had been on the job as an intern there for just a few weeks.

The woman was attacked and killed Wednesday when she entered the male African lion’s enclosure at Cat Haven about 45 miles east of Fresno, authorities said.

Sheriff’s deputies responding to an emergency call from Cat Haven found the woman severely injured and still lying inside the enclosure with the lion nearby.

Another park worker couldn’t lure the lion into another pen, so deputies shot and killed it to safely reach the wounded woman. But she died at the scene.

Paul Hanson, a Seattle-area attorney, identified the victim as his daughter Dianna Hanson of Brier, Wash. He said he drove his daughter from her home on New Year’s Day, arriving at Cat Haven Jan. 2.

“She was very excited,” Hanson told The Associated Press late Wednesday. “It was just a dream job for her.”
Hanson said she had been fascinated by big cats from an earlier age.

“She was absolutely fearless,” he said.

Investigators were trying to determine why the intern was inside the enclosure and what might have provoked the attack.

Nothing demonstrates the survival of the fittest better than a liberal hippie chick getting eaten by a lion while trying to cuddle with it. And I think its deliciously lulzy that her stupidity got her favorite lion shot in the face. Maybe Obama will outlaw Assault Lions. If it could save just one stupid hippie chick’s life, isn’t it worth it to try?

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