Your Mama’s So Fat Sidewalks Give Out

You know you are fat when you gorge yourself on hot wings, step outside to wait for the bus, which is the vehicle big enough to carry your fat ass- and the sidewalk gives out under your feet. Bonus fatness comes when you can only be rescued by men with cranes. Paging Dr. Oz?


From the NYP here:

A heavyset woman caved through an Upper East Side sidewalk last night — dropping six feet into a huge hole where she was eventually pulled out by emergency crews using a crane-like rescue unit.

The 31-year-old Queens woman was huddled up against the wall of Atomic Wings at the Blue Room Grill on the corner of East 60th Street and Second Avenue, seeking shelter from the rain while waiting for a bus, when the sidewalk below her gave way around 9:15 p.m.

“The woman was enormous. She had to be more than 300 pounds,” said Daniel Crumity, 44, of Queens, who watched in disbelief from a window inside the Blue Room. “The ground literally fell out from underneath her.

“It happened so fast she did not scream or anything. Everybody in the bar got up to look.”

FDNY Fire Chief Thomas Jemmott said the woman had to be pulled up in “high-angle rescue unit” resembling a crane with cargo netting.

Pretty awesome floor show for a hot wing joint. Dropping great big fatties down holes is something I’d pay to see. Anyone think this incident will be a wake-up call for the fat lady? Will she lose weight or just file a lawsuit? And if she files a lawsuit, I sure hope there are double doors on the court room.

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