The Last Gasp of the Potato Rock
When we were growing up my Mom used to keep 20 lb sacks of potatoes in the garage for use in cooking. One of her favorite recipes (and my least favorite) was a Sunday Roast which required several peeled potatoes and a pot roast.
While digging out in the neighboring vacant lots, my brothers and I encountered a rounded river rock that looked surprisingly like an Idaho Potato. It had dirt caked in all the right places, felt similar to the touch and had the same mass of a typical potato, so we did what any other kid would do- we put that rock in Mom’s potato sack and just waited for Sunday Roast.
Sunday came ’round and Mom was surprised when all three of her boys watched her try to peel potatoes, each with a grin on their face. Out came the potato-rock and we watched as Mom sparked the peeler against the hard surface of the rock and we each burst out with howling laughter. “Very funny boys!” she scolded and tossed the rock into the trash.
We pulled that rock out of the trash and put that rock right back in the potato sack. This trick went on for years. Mom even tried to hurl the rock over the fence into a vacant lot, but we hunted that rock down and stuck it back in her potato sack again. If the rock got too clean looking, we would grind it into the dirt to simulate standard potato grit. The damn rock even looked like it had eyes. Mom even became accustomed to thumping each of her potatoes with a spoon to test for density, screeching at us each time she encountered that accursed potato-rock.
When Mom died yesterday morning at 2:30 AM, my other two brothers were sharing a bedside vigil. They watched as her breathing quickened, became more shallow, and gasped to a halt. This breathing pattern was a radical change from the rhythmic comatose gasps she had been taking for about 8 hours prior. They waited several minutes, coming to grips with her passing- holding her hands and telling her they loved her, and that it was okay to let go.
After ten minutes of prayer and silence, and my brothers still holding her hands, Mom suddenly gasped out a loud soprano moan- simply some built-up pressure still remaining within her lungs. My kid brother almost sharted himself at the sudden outburst. My older brother jumped too. And when their adrenaline subsided, my older brother turned to my younger brother and said, “That was for the potato rock!”
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
|Print article||This entry was posted by Dr. Jones on May 17, 2012 at 12:48 am, and is filed under Belch.Com, Humor. Follow any responses to this post through RSS 2.0. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.|
No trackbacks yet.
about 3 weeks ago - 1 comment
My Mom got to enjoy a beautiful Mother’s Day. She went to Church, taught Sunday School, sang in the choir, and enjoyed a nice lunch with my Dad, brother and sister-in-law. Then she went to the grocery store to pick up a few items, and, as is their custom, my parents took a nap on…
about 6 months ago - No comments
Mortality Questions, originally uploaded by BelchSpeak. Cartney has recently realized that his life on this Earth is limited. As parents, Jess and I don’t know what influences led him to this natural conclusion- maybe it was all the talk about skeletons back at Halloween time, or maybe it was something he saw on TV. But…
about 7 months ago - 1 comment
A rapper was struck down on the streets in LA in broad daylight? The Hell you say! But its true. Rapper Heavy D walked out of his house and collapsed and later died at the hospital. But unlike most rappers that die on the street, Heavy D wasn’t surrounded by the acrid smell of gun…
about 10 months ago - 1 comment
If Sean Bean is in a movie, its a safe bet he will die in a spectacle of blood and gore. Warning, this clip is pretty bloody, and a comedy of special effects magic. Has Sean Bean ever survived a movie? Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
about 1 year ago - No comments
For those leftists worried about how big their carbon footprint is, they can now choose a low carbon method of disposal for their remains after they die. Its the Resomator! They can stuff the corpses of their loved ones in a dishwasher sized box, boil them in lye and then simply flush their liquid remains…
about 2 years ago - 2 comments
You know that prank where if one of your buddies passes out while drinking all of his friends draws mustaches and penises on his face with a Sharpie® marker? Well the Chinese have a version of this prank too. Instead of using a Sharpie®, they use an eel. And instead of the face, its the…
about 4 years ago - 1 comment
I don’t use Q-tips. I always thought that made me weird. As it turns out, maybe it saved my life. That is if I was stupid enough to jam cotton swabs into my ear canals up to the hilt. From CBCNews here: The Quebec coroner’s office says cotton swab manufacturers should warn consumers about putting…
about 4 years ago - 7 comments
This doesn’t surprise me at all. My wife’s all time favorite ride at Disney is the Haunted Mansion, and I don’t think she would mind having her ashes scattered there- except for the ick factor for the other patrons. From Local 6 here, via Drudge: Disneyland workers were recently forced to close the “Pirates of…
about 4 years ago - 14 comments
She was only 58, and the article doesn’t say how she died. From CNN here: Donda West, mother of Kanye West and former chairwoman of Chicago State University’s English department, has died, a spokesman for the rapper said. She was 58. “The family respectfully asks for privacy during this time of grief,” the spokesman said.…
Comments are closed.