I have said it before and I will say it again. I can defeat a turkey in hand to hand combat. And when surrounded by turkeys, I will look like Bruce Frickin’ Lee the way I can fight off dozens of the gobblers at a time. Turkeys are man’s natural enemy- well weaker men’s at least. Watch.

And this one had me crying I was laughing so hard. A stupid news reporter went to a neighborhood to check out complaints about a “Terrible Tom” and she runs down the street in fear of her life from a single male bird.

And on this fantastic day, we remind turkeys where they stand in the food chain.