I’m Eating Couches Bitches!

Judging by this woman’s thin figure, she must only be eating the low-cal couches, that tend to be sat upon by vegan, Indian people who simply don’t shed so many skin cells.

From the Daily Mail here, who don’t mind photographing people dining al-fresco:

A mother-of-five has been diagnosed with a rare disorder called Pica after seeking medical help for her addiction… to eating sofas. Adele Edwards, of Bradenton, Florida, has been eating the foam inside couch cushions for 21 years.

Adele Edwards checks the foam from a sofa cushion at Bob’s Bargain Barn in Bradenton, Florida, to see if it is the kind she likes to eat

Miss Edwards, 31, said: ‘In the last year I’ve eaten seven sofas. ‘I unzip the cushions and snack on the foam inside. And once I start I just can’t stop.

Can Frito-Lay, the maker of tasty potato chips sue her for trademark infringement? “Once ya start ya can’t stop” sounds like it belongs on a pringles can or something.

‘But now doctors have told me that if I carry on, my addiction will kill me.’ Pica is a disorder found most commonly in toddlers and pregnant women who lack certain nutrients, causing them to crave non-nutritive substances like chalk, coins, batteries and even dirt.

There is a photo of her at the Mail lying amongst a group of comfy sofas. You’d think that someone who ate seven couches in the past year would look fluffier, but she doesn’t. Maybe she’d put on some weight if she used some ranch dressing with her couches.