I can't believe that came from your mouth!
Archive for February, 2011
Get Ready for Mother’s Milk IceCream
Feb 28th
Take a pint of the finest Grade DD mothers milk, add sugar and some lemon zest along with a sprig of real vanilla from Madigascar. Then you slap an all-organic, free range label on the ice cream cone and charge almost 25 dollars for it.
From Reuters here:
LONDON (Reuters) – A specialist ice cream parlor plans to serve up breast milk ice cream and says people should think of it as an organic, free-range treat.
The breast milk concoction, called the “Baby Gaga,” will be available from Friday at the Icecreamists restaurant in London’s Covent Garden.
Icecreamists founder Matt O’Connor was confident his take on the “miracle of motherhood” and priced at a hefty 14 pounds ($23) a serving will go down a treat with the paying public.
The breast milk was provided by mothers who answered an advertisement on online mothers’ forum Mumsnet.
The Baby Gaga recipe blends breast milk with Madagascan vanilla pods and lemon zest, which is then churned into ice cream.
Moonbat ice cream, mmm, mmm fail.
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Loading ...Regent’s Canal Boats
Feb 28th
I was on walkabout in central London yesterday and stumbled across a curious site in what is one of the more upscale portions of the city. Regent’s canal used to be a primary way of shuttling goods across town. Now it serves as what looks like a floating bunch of houseboats. All of them are built to be able to navigate through some of the tunnels, and judging by the amount of junk and home cooking going on, it really looks like a floating trailer park.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Adventures in Fail: Attempts to Quadbike to South Pole Ends in Deaths
Feb 28th
Some rednecks from Norway tried to ride quadbikes to the South Pole. They must have thought that, with all of Al Gore’s global warming, and seeing how a bunch of fat ass penguins could walk it while a chilly Morgan Freeman narrates, it should be a cinch to drive there.
From Aussie news here:
The two survivors of a Norwegian expedition retracing the footsteps of legendary compatriot Roald Amundsen to the South Pole have defended their journey amid growing condemnation.
Bedraggled and showing signs of facial frostbite, controversial Scandinavian adventurer Jarle Andhoy and his 18-year-old companion Samuel Massie on Monday spoke of their ordeal after being airlifted from Antarctica to Christchurch by a US Operation Deep Freeze flight.
While the pair managed to trek non-stop for a week to the US base at McMurdo Sound, the three other members of the Wild Viking expedition are believed to have perished in the Southern Ocean after their 14-metre steel vessel Berserk disappeared a week ago.
He and Massie disembarked from the Berserk on February 13 near Scott Base to start their quest on quad bikes to mark the centenary of Amundsen becoming the first explorer to reach the South Pole on December 14, 1911.
The Berserk’s emergency locator beacon was activated last Tuesday. It lasted for several hours before transmissions ceased, and it is now assumed the yacht sank in one of the worst Antarctic storms in 20 years.
Lou Sanson, chief executive at Antarctica New Zealand, said the venture was unwise.
“It was very unusual to be attempting a 1600-kilometre trip to the South Pole on motorbikes,” Sanson said. “It is minus 20 (degrees Celsius) there. On the Polar Plateau it is minus 30. You get wind chill up to minus 70. These guys were 220km towards the pole and still had over 1200km to go.”
Its the height of summer in the Antarctic and its still too cold to dare attempt a journey to the pole. The myth that the world is warming, coupled with a bad plan and poor equipment doomed these fools.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...10 PM Music – Elizabeth & the Catapult – “Perfectly Perfect”
Feb 26th
If you know anything about scientology, you will know that dolls give those Tom Cruise types the heebie jeebies. This video will give them nightmares. The music is great too. Hope you enjoy.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Attentive Child
Feb 26th
It is really hard to get kids to pay attention nowadays. Now, with the help of hipster attentive glasses your preschooler can also have a hawkish attention span. Its a little creepy, but the lad can concentrate.
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Byron Sonne Catches New Criminal Charge
Feb 26th
Byron Sonne has been in jail since June prior to the G20. After over a week of prelim hearings most of his dumbest charges, such as the possession of a “dangerous weapon” – a potato gun- have been dropped. His other charges such as mischief and intimidation of court workers have been swapped out for a new charge which would translate to ‘conspiracy to commit’ if he were charged in US courts.
From the Edmonton Journal here:
The presiding judge has seen fit to proceed with just one of the six initial charges against Sonne, along with one additional charge recommended by the Crown.
Sonne now faces trial on two offences: possession of explosive substances and counselling the commission of mischief that was not committed.
“We’ve known all along that he’s innocent. We believe he’ll be found innocent,” supporter Madison Kelly said, noting she hopes the case will spur a broader national discussion about civil liberties.
In the runup to the G20, Sonne had been meticulously documenting surveillance measures imposed on the city. He had also reportedly obtained a potato gun and ingredients to make triacetone triperoxide, a substance used famously by “shoe bomber” Richard Reid.
The article fails to mention that Sonne once planted fake bombs in his high school for his own mentally disturbed reasons. Nice to see that once again, Digimer, aka Madison Kelly, got her name in the paper associated with an accused bomber. Know what else the article fails to mention? Byron’s supposed common-law wife, Kristen Petersen. She hasn’t attended the hearings for Byron. I wonder if this means they are now common-law divorced?
Byron was living rent free in Kristen Petersen’s parents’ house and at the time of his arrest didn’t have a job. Some of his supporters fret that if Byron is magically cleared of charges if he will get back pay- from I suppose, Kristen Petersen’s parents, because in Toronto, sponging off your fake wife’s parents counts as employment.
Time to go out on a limb here with a prediction. Byron Sonne will be found guilty of the explosives charge. Whether or not he will be released with time served really depends on how the Crown feels about Byron’s bomb planting stunt in High School.
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Awesome Trekkie Tshirt
Feb 26th
About a bunch of fat fashionistas-
This is at T-Shirt Bordello along with most of my favorite tshirts.
And here’s another, which is described on the site as a “must have for away teams and landing parties.”
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So Long Zach Chesser
Feb 25th
An Oakton High School graduate and white privileged suburbanite converted to Islam and attempted to betray his country. Along the way he even tried to spur the murder of the creators of South Park. Now Zach Chesser will rot in jail for the next quarter century.
From the WaPo here:
Zachary Adam Chesser, an Oakton High School graduate and former basketball and football player, wore a green jumpsuit with the word “Prisoner” written in white across the back as he stood before a federal judge in Alexandria to hear his sentence on terror-related charges.
U.S. District Judge Liam O’Grady sentenced Chesser to 25 years in prison for trying to join an al-Qaeda-linked terrorist group in Somalia and making threats to the creators of TV’s “South Park” show over their depiction of the prophet Muhammad.
In October, Chesser, of Oakton, pleaded guilty in U.S. District Court to charges of providing material support to terrorists, communicating threats and soliciting crimes of violence.
O’Grady said Chesser was an “extraordinarily energized traitor to your country.”
Chesser was arrested in July, just days after he was prevented from traveling with his infant son from New York’s John F. Kennedy International Airport to Uganda. From Uganda, he was headed to Somalia, and he planned to join al-Shabab, an Islamic terrorist group trying to oust Somalia’s government.
Buh Bye, Zach. Don’t drop the soap. And here’s a picture of Muhammad.
(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...San Francisco Man Obsessed With Penises Wants to Ban Circumcision
Feb 24th
Only in San Francisco, where body piercings, tattoos, and abortion on demand are considered cherished medical rights would they propose to ban circumcision- a traditional family medical procedure- a procedure which is becoming rarer and rarer in a city populated by non-procreating same sex couples.
From the SFExaminer here by way of Ed’s Right Rant:
San Francisco resident Lloyd Schofield said Thursday he is “on track” to place his proposed measure on the November ballot that would make it illegal to “circumcise, excise, cut or mutilate the foreskin, testicle or penis of another person who has not attained the age of 18.”
The proposed measure would assess of up to $1,000 and up to one year in jail for someone who performs a circumcision.
I don’t think it will pass the ballot, but who knows with those San Fran Freaks nowadays? And isn’t this horribly anti-semetic? As I commented at Ed’s,
We as Americans stood by and watched this happen. First they came for tobacco, then the sodium and the fat, now the foreskin. As long as you don’t propose banning abortion the state can regulate every other part of your body.
(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...
Banking Your Boobage
Feb 24th
Working mothers are outsourcing their breastmilk to total strangers on Facebook. So not only will they not stay home with the kids, they won’t pump themselves, and now they won’t bother to have the lactic libations screened for disease and drugs.
From CBS here:
Jessica Elways believes in the benefits of breast milk for her seven month old daughter Penelope, but keeping a steady supply hasn’t been easy.
“I work 45 to 50 hours a week. My supply started to dip, and since I work in retail I can’t pump as much during the day,” she said.
She needed something other mothers have and turned to the Facebook site “Eats on Feets” to find it. Mothers like Jocelyn Tremblay who are willing to donate their breast milk.
The Mothers’ Milk Bank of New England, based in Newton said “There are times when moms can be transmitting things to babies they don’t even know about,” said Executive Director Naomi Bar-Yam. The milk bank screens and processes breast milk for distribution to needy babies for $4.25 an ounce.
Unlike a milk bank, “Eats on Feets” is an exchange with no regulations and no fee. Jessica Elways doesn’t mind the risk. “I think breast milk has the most benefits, they get the antibodies they need,” she said. It’s a mother-to-mother bond that’s based on trust.
If you breastfeed for the first few weeks the baby gets all of her antibodies she will need. There is a reason women begin to dry up at 6 months- the child’s dietary needs begin to change. Feeding your kid a stranger’s milk is dangerous and gross and absolutely unnecessary. If she’s too poor to afford formula she can sign up for public assistance that will provide the milk the baby needs.
Thanks to Robb, who must have a google alert setup for things like “boobs in the news.” His suggestion was to get in early on the ‘wimmin milkin’ bidness.’
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Daughter of Malcolm X Denied Bail for Black History Month
Feb 24th
Malikah Shabazz, the made-up african name for this manly looking daughter of Malcolm X, can’t make bail because she is a known fugitive for defrauding an elderly widow of over 50 thousand dollars.
Maybe she should just try to speak truth to power, huh? Had to defraud the widow of her dead dad’s body guard by any means necessary. From the UPI here:
A daughter of Malcolm X must stay in a North Carolina jail until she is taken to New York to face charges there.
District Court Judge Greg Horne denied Malikah Shabazz’s request for bond Tuesday.
Shabazz was arrested Friday in Mars Hill on warrants from New York, where she faces numerous charges of swindling more than $55,000 via credit card fraud out of Khaula Bakr, 70, the widow of a bodyguard who was with Malcolm X when he was assassinated in 1965.
Horne gave New York authorities until March 4 to get Shabazz. If she is still in North Carolina then, he will reconsider bond, the Citizen-Times reported.
Shabazz’s 13-year-old daughter has been in state custody since the arrest.
Aww, the granddaughter of Malcolm X is a foster child? Where is Jesse Jackson and his social justice network? Oh yeah, in Wisconsin protecting the rights of rich white union thugs.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Midnight Music: Redlight King – “Old Man”
Feb 23rd
I’m now a big fan of whiny Neil Young. But wow, Kaz of Redlight King lays an original rap and heavily samples Young’s Old Man song and it is fantastic. Fresh and smart, I think this one is going to climb the charts in 2011.
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Fail Whale Pale Ale TShirt
Feb 22nd
Saw this logo over at PoppedCulture. When technological failures get their own beers named after them, you know that failure is a pop culture icon. You can get the shirt here at IanLeino.
So what beer will be next to feature a failure in tech? The FourSquare Pouty Princess?
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Anonymous Versus Westboro? O Rly?
Feb 21st
Twitter is abuzz with the news about Anonymous issuing an open letter to Westboro Baptist Church, claiming that they are going to take down their websites.
I was skeptical about it because I don’t think that Westboro relies on their cyber components for anything other than to amplify their “God Hates Fags” messages. Attacking the websites wouldn’t do anything to keep them from picketing funerals and being the asshats they are. In fact, it might make them do it even more. In response to the threats by Anonymous, Westboro released a statement: Bring It.
The idea of watching Westboro and Anonymous duke it out online sounded too good to be true, and as usual, if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.
According to NetWorkWorld here, Anonymous isn’t going to war, or at least as far as it knows. They go further to warn that “its a trap.”
The Jawa Report says that Megan Phelps Roper of WBC is behind the original open letter to Westboro.
Seems like several people are running around the interwebs pretending they are “Anonymous.” I recently had a troll on my site going apoplectic because I put his abusive comments into moderation and refused to allow him to link to an antiwar propaganda site. dgulley415@gmail.com entered my site to call me a ‘fag’ because I pointed out that Bradley Manning, a homosexual soldier, was in jail and will be convicted for treason. After blocking him, he tried to use a tor node to continue his attempts to circumvent the block. It didn’t work, and he promised a DDoS and claimed that he was ‘legion.’
Seems like Anonymous is quickly building a brand name that it will somehow need to figure out how to protect- bad impersonations from wannabes and brand hijacking by Westboro is bad for the rep.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Basement Window Pit of Doom
Feb 21st
I lost the good cat last week. I have a good cat and a bad cat. One gets petted. The other one barfs on my carpet and is denied any affection at all from me. If I had lost the bad cat I wouldn’t bother looking out of my basement window under my deck for the little furry bitch, but I really like the good cat, so I found myself on a stepstool with my head out the underdeck window in the window well calling for my cat at 2 AM.
I saw a femur bone and was surprised, but was sorta spooked when I saw this small skull sitting atop the rocks in the galvanized steel window well under my deck. The window well is about 3 feet deep and I have seen raccoons climb in and back out of it. Anyone know what kind of critter would have a skull like this? Its about six inches or more in length.
Oh, and the good cat came back. She’s just fine. And the bad cat still hasn’t run away yet, dammit. Which reminds me I should buy stock in the makers of Resolve carpet cleaner.
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Ohio Democrat Senator Calls Black Tea Party Member ‘Buckwheat’
Feb 21st
If you are a Democrat, it is perfectly fine to call your black constituents who disagree with your policies “Buckwheat.” The news media will look the other way. According to Vindy.Com here, the State Senator’s own words weren’t racist, and was somehow the trick of the TeaParty to make him look bad. Here is the Facebook screencap:
One of the senator’s constituents made a great, cogent argument about the Wisconsin teachers unions and the senator told called him ‘Buckwheat’ and shove it where the sun doesn’t shine.
Hagan says calling blacks 'buckwheat' is a mere term of endearment, and oh yeah, he's for civil rights.
Thanks to the sixmeatbuffet.
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Failures in Marketing: Dell Product Intro Results in SWAT Team and Arrests
Feb 21st
Dell has their own tablet and even their own employees don’t seem to know much about it. So the marketing team got the brilliant idea to dress up as road warriors (the tablet interfaces with the new Harley Davidson) and try to corral all of the employees at a work location into the lobby. Leather, skull masks and small metallic objects waved at people while they shout “Go to the Lobby!” tends to attract the SWAT team.
From KXAN here:
The Round Rock SWAT team near Austin TX responded to multiple 911 calls of a suspect inside of one of the Dell Round Rock campus buildings on Monday morning, only to find it was a marketing stunt gone wrong.
A person dressed as a biker in all black with a black mask was on the sales floor of Building 1 carrying two metallic objects and telling people to “go to the lobby.”
A sales manager set up the stunt as an internal promotional event to celebrate the release of the new Dell Streak tablet, but Round Rock police ended up arresting two people for causing the disturbance.
Police arrested the man dressed in the skull mask and biker outfit, 48 year old Bryan Chester and his supervisor 36 year old Daniel Rawson. Both face misdemeanor charges of Interfering with Public Duties and Deadly Conduct. “All this was intended to be was go to the lobby because we’re introducing a new item,” said Poteet.
Police say it’s a miracle none of the 400 people in the building were hurt.
This is pretty hilarious, but only because no one was hurt. Knowing office dynamics pretty well, I can easily picture panicked salesfolk cowering under desks on the phone with the cops. Does it make me want to buy a Dell Streak? Not at all.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Overlook Hotel Kid’s Placemat – The Shining
Feb 20th
I see tons of children’s placemats nowadays. My wife groans as she watches our kid draw outside of the lines or try to jab his cheap restaurant crayons through the paper placemat. But what would the kid’s placemat look like in the Overlook Hotel’s main dining room? It would have to be something like this.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Burglars Kill Goldfish to Eliminate Witnesses
Feb 19th
No Snitchin’ Fishes!
see more funny videos
The actual story is here and it details how they killed the fish- with cayenne pepper in the bowl.
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Reason 649 to HomeSchool: Lesbian Photography Teacher Won’t Fingerbang Your Daughter in Dark Room
Feb 19th
Mandy Jared has been a teacher in an Indiana High School in Zionsville since 2002. And now according to news reports, Mandy came and she gave without taking. She dragged one of her students into the photography dark room and did lesbian stuff to the 17 year old girl.
From BadBadTeacher here:
Mandy Jared, 33, a former fine arts teacher at Zionsville High School in Zionsville, Indiana has been arrested for having inappropriate contact with a 17-year-old female student.
Jared is facing two felony counts of child seduction. She surrendered at the Boone County Jail on Tuesday. There were four incidents but Jared is only charged with two that happened in the dark room after school.
Jared came to the attention of authorities after the student told another teacher about the incidents, who then reported it to school officials. School officials became aware of the allegations on December 9th and Jared reportedly resigned on the same day.
In other news, darkrooms still exist in this age of digital photography. According to this article here, Mandy also left lots of online chat evidence for her coworkers to find too. Kudos for the teachers reporting this lesbian child predator.
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