Disgusting Belly Buttons

I have a problem with navels- well, not actually- I have a problem with things that exist in navels. Like dangly jewelry surrounded by a mat of hair. And my own belly button is a festering pool of I dunno what- it could be a taco pizza in a lint and hair frappe, but I wouldn’t know because I don’t put my finger in there.

I do know that I sometimes get an itch down in my bellybutton so I pour a little hydrogen peroxide down there and flush out all the nasties. And according to a study by NCState, there are tons of different bacteria down there. Seriously NCState, this is what you study?