I can't believe that came from your mouth!
Archive for June, 2010
iPhone 4 Has Antenna Problems
Jun 24th
If you are right handed and hold the iPhone in your left hand like most people do while accessing the touch pad, you will short out the bluetooth and 3G antennas causing calls to drop!
The “Geniuses” at the Apple store have been handing out free rubber bumper covers for these phones to people standing in line to complain about it.
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Loading ...Al Gore Demands Happy Ending for a $540 Massage
Jun 24th
Maybe Tipper Gore is leaving Al because he tried to tongue punch a massage therapist in Portland Oregon. He paid 540 dollars for a massage that ended not so happily for Mr. Green- she accused him of sexual assault.
FINISH ME!!
From OregonLive here:
A Portland massage therapist gave local police a detailed statement last year alleging that former Vice President Al Gore groped her, kissed her and made unwanted sexual advances during a late-night massage session in October 2006 in a suite at the upscale Hotel Lucia.
The woman told investigators that she was called to the hotel about 10:30 p.m. Oct. 24, 2006, to provide a massage for Gore, who was registered under the name “Mr. Stone.” Once inside his ninth-floor suite, she said he pushed her hand to his groin, fondled her buttocks and breasts, tongue-kissed her and threw her down on the bed as she tried to thwart his advances.
She also said Gore had finished a beer and opened a bottle of Grand Marnier while she was in the room.
While the Police Bureau considers it a closed case, it said it would reopen it if new evidence is received. “We’re not disputing Al Gore was in the hotel room with this woman,” Wheat said. “The two people in that room were Mr. Gore and this woman. If a bellhop came in and saw something, that would be different.”
The Enquirer has seen the massage bill. And hey, how smooth is Al chasing a beer with GM? Sounds like something a fat tard from Tennessee would do.
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OctoMom Shoots Babies at Douchebag
Jun 23rd
There is a retarded TV show on MTV featuring idiots doing stunts in a library. So of course it would feature Octomom Madya Suleman shooting babydolls at a douchebag’s face. The video is on TMZ. Click the photo for the link.
Thanks to Dr. Drew for the link!
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Belch.Com Congratulates
Jun 23rd
Michael Jackson as he nears 1 whole year of sobriety!
If I had a superpower in which I could eject pretty butterflies from my chest in an eruption of joy, I would do so on this occasion. But I can’t. Besides, I think there might be a few people, women, perhaps, who might find such a superpower sexy, but I’m a married man and the best I would be able to do with that power is earn a few free beers at the pub as a bar trick. Or I could wait until I was in a taxi and freak out the driver when his cab was suddenly filled with butterflies and watch him swear in arabic. Or maybe in an act of cruelty I would do it in the shower and watch them all flutter in the water and drown at my feet.
But I don’t have that power so to celebrate Michael Jackson’s year of sobriety I will post a picture of his best movie evar!
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...CSPI Suing McDonald’s Over Happy Meal Toys
Jun 23rd
The food nazis are suing McDonald’s claiming that Happy Meal Toys make your kids fat.
From the AP here:
Are the toys in your child’s Happy Meal making him fat?
The Center for Science in the Public Interest says they are. The Washington-based group threatened to file a lawsuit against McDonald’s Tuesday, charging that the fast food chain “unfairly and deceptively” markets the toys to children.
“McDonald’s marketing has the effect of conscripting America’s children into an unpaid drone army of word-of-mouth marketers, causing them to nag their parents to bring them to McDonald’s,” CSPI’s Stephen Gardner wrote to the heads of the chain in a letter announcing the lawsuit.
The center, which has filed dozens of lawsuits against food companies in recent years, is hoping the publicity and the threat of a lawsuit will force McDonald’s to negotiate with them on the issue. The group announced the lawsuit in the letter to McDonald’s 30 days before filing it with the hope that the company will agree to stop selling the toys before a suit is filed.
Isn’t filing frivolous lawsuits to force someone to do something just a shakedown? The jackasses running CSPI are all lunatics and vegans. They want to force people to eat what they do and will sue people to make it happen. They also want to tax things like butter and potatoes.
Also, it is my experience that Happy Meal Toys prevent kids from eating their lunch. Kids take two or three bites from McNuggets and then drive their parents crazy by playing with the toy instead of eating.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Naked Cowboy Suing Naked Cowgirl
Jun 23rd
You would think a little competition would keep the naked cowboy in Times Square up on his game. But no, he’s suing some old broad for prancing around in a US-Flag themed outfit and stealing his “schtick.”
From the Reg here:
New York’s Naked Cowboy – who entertains the Times Square masses by strumming a guitar dressed in his undies – has taken exception to a Naked Cowgirl who he reckons is “ripping off his shtick”.
That’s how the New York Post summarises Sandy Kane’s infringement of Robert Burck’s Naked Cowboy trademark. Burck is demanding the former stripper, “famous for closing her act by lighting her breasts on fire”, either “stop making money off of his trademark or sign a ‘Naked Cowboy Franchise Agreement’”.
The Post explains: “Most licensed franchisees are required to fork over $5,000 for a year or $500 a month and go through a screening process to ape the Naked Cowboy’s act.”
Burck said of Kane: “If she’s going to sell stuff and make money off of it, then, yeah, she’s going to have to pay.”
I really don’t know why he’s worried about the competition. If anything, I’d sue to get a younger model. Besides every Toy Story fan knows that the best foil for a naked cowboy would be a naked Spaceman!
And yet another Google Image Search proves Rule 34.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Unicorn Meat Gets a Cease and Desist Letter
Jun 22nd
Some lawyer doesn’t understand that trademarks can be parodied. They sent ThinkGeek a cease and desist letter because they labelled a can of unicorn meat as the “new white meat.”
From ThinkGeek here:
Recently we got the best-ever cease and desist letter. We’re no stranger to the genre, so what could possibly make this one stand out from the rest?
First, it’s 12 pages long and very well-researched (except on one point); it even includes screengrabs of the offending item from our site. And we know they’re not messing around because they invested in the best and brightest legal minds.
But what makes this cease and desist so very, very special is that it’s for a fake product we launched for April Fool’s day.
Also funny is that a Google image search shows this as “other white meat:”
I guess those lawyers better keep suing these jokesters!
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...This is How Obama is Paying for Stimulus: Cash 4 Gold?
Jun 22nd
Obama cashes in the US gold reserves for cold, hard, fast cash to pay for Obamacare, stimulus and many other pet projects.
U.S. To Trade Gold Reserves For Cash Through Cash4Gold.com
Has he gone too far??
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Gays Still Pissed They Can’t Poison Blood Supply: Suggest Blacks Should Be Banned From Blood Donation
Jun 21st
I wrote on the 11th that gays are extremely upset that they are being discrminated against because they are forbidden from donating blood. Instead they want to have the right to push HIV infected blood into the American plasma pool because to them, that would be better than the insult of “discrimination.” Well, happily, their argument failed and the gay ban remains in place. Now the same gays say that if they are going to be banned, they should ban black people from donating too.
From Slate here:
According to the Centers for Disease Control, HIV prevalence is eight to nine times higher among blacks than among whites, and HIV incidence (the rate of new infections in a given year) is seven times higher. For black women, HIV prevalence is 18 times higher than for white women.
And these numbers understate the likely difference in risk to the blood supply. A recent CDC analysis of MSM in five cities found that while only 18 percent of the HIV-infected white men were unaware of their infections, 67 percent of the infected black men were unaware.
So instead of focusing on the real issue here, in that there needs to be more awareness and education among black communities, the liberals, still butthurt about the gay blood ban, wants to genuinely ban blacks too. Because maybe if it is outright racist, maybe then gays can poison the blood supply?
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(1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 6) Loading ...Louis CK Talks About His Father’s Day
Jun 21st
Louis C. K. cracks me up. He has some good advice, tho- don’t be your wife’s assistant. Be a MAN. Make your own grocery list.
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(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...Shenandoah Facebook Update
Jun 21st
Saw this on Tosh. The photo was snapped somewhere in the Charlottesville vicinity. Call it a hillbilly status update.
Burbia, the site that the photo originates with notes: “Can’t imagine why she’d risk all that…”
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...A Democrat Child Rapist Does 1000 Times “More Good” Than You
Jun 21st
Democrats love child rapists. They work very hard to reduce their criminal sentences and try to give them positions of power over normal people. And when public outcry over giving a 4-time child rapist a job with the government leads to a firing, the Democrat who hired him lashed out to claim that, despite the rapist sticking his penis into 15 year old boy’s asses over and over again, that rapist still does 1000 times the “good” that anyone who objects over his crime could possibly do. Meet the rapist Joel Pentlarge:
From BostonHerald.Com here:
A candidate for state representative from Jamaica Plain has jettisoned his treasurer after the convicted predator’s big-house stint for raping young boys became a distraction on the campaign trail.“It was becoming the only issue people would talk about. I was hoping people would see beyond the criminal past and give him another chance,” said Jeffery Herman, who is running against Jeffrey Sanchez for the Democratic nomination for the 15th Suffolk District. “His intention is to be a model citizen.”
Herman’s ex-treasurer Joel Pentlarge, was convicted of five counts of statutory rape against four boys in July 2000, state records show. He was released from jail in 2006. Herman hired Pentlarge as his campaign treasurer.
“They demonized him,” Herman said of the paper. “It brought up his past, and they repeated that a third-level sex offender has a high likelihood of reoffending. I interviewed Joel Pentlarge and found him to be a commendable citizen, doing 1,000 times more good than any people who are accusing him of any miscarriage.”
Pentlarge, a disbarred lawyer, said one of his victims remains in contact with him. He said the boys were all 15 when he had sex with them. Prosecutors said Pentlarge plied them with alcohol and drugs before raping them.
So to Democrats, running for State senate in Massachusetts and keeping track of finances for that campaign, is the equivalence of ’1000 times gooder’ than anyone who would dare criticize a liberal candidate? And how does this disgusting creep Pentalarge, who should still be in jail, maintain contact with one of his victims who was traumatized by his disgusting crime? Oh yeah, this is from Massachusetts, the same state that keeps re-electing Barney Frank, the gay congressman who’s lover ran a prostitution ring in Washington DC from Frank’s home.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...I’ve Not Used a Phone Book Since 1997
Jun 20th
Saw this at [GAS] and had to repost. Everyone who reads this blog knows I’m not an environmentalist by any stretch of the imagination. But yeah, the Yellow Pages is an idea that someone needs to cram a dagger into its ugly yellow heart.
I don’t even have a hard wired phone. And still I get one of these stupid 13 pound books (two of them for Fairfax County) every year. I move them from the curbside dropoff to the curbside pickup for trash.
Still want to create the yellow pages? Make them subscription based. Charge the end users for their manufacture and delivery. Just please stop dropping these stupid things off at my house.
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(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...Swashbuckling Toddlers
Jun 20th
Cartney had so much fun at his cousin’s house. He especially enjoyed hamming it up during his swordfights with Tristan. Whenever they would clash plastic cutlass upon plastic cutlass, Cartney would drop his sword and fall down. Tristan also like to play dead!
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Cartney’s Third Birthday Slideshow
Jun 20th
What a fantastic afternoon and evening we all had! Cartney had his Pirate Pool and Birthday Party at his cousin’s house and fun was had by all!
In order, this shows Cartney opening gifts with his family. Next he has some of his homemade pirate cupcakes. Cousin Tristan meets him armed with two cutlasses, and a pirate bandana! Swords cross. We show our beach blankets which are proudly pirate themed! Elijah scowls for the camera, followed by his brother Nate, exhibiting his florentine style of two swords at once. The girls at the party got Tinkerbell themed gift bags that included fairy tiaras and bubble wands. Cartney waves to keep the gifts coming! A very cool pirate ship was one of the gifts from the girls. Lastly, Max takes a dive!
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Three Years Already
Jun 19th
I can’t believe it has already been three years.
We are leaving after nap time to have a big Pirate Birthday and Pool Party at his Uncle’s house. More pics on that later.
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(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...IronMan and Doom
Jun 19th
IronMan and Doom, originally uploaded by BelchSpeak.
I consider myself to be pretty up to date with lots of iPhone apps. And I love Marvel Comics. But it wasn’t until I read a twitter post by @SimonPegg that I heard that you could download comics to your iPhone. And it is AWESOME.
The guided view shows you panel by panel with automated zooms to details on a page that mimics what would draw your eye while reading a comic.
I am getting caught up on a few series I’ve missed since I stopped collecting years ago. I’ve got my eye set on getting the Planet Hulk series next, where the Hulk planet hops and conquers various worlds. The 2 dollar price per comic is a bit steep, but with no ads and the easy portability, this is going to make my next cross country flight much more enjoyable!
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...What’s Funnier Than Execution By Firing Squad?
Jun 18th
Rodney Lee Gardner, some douchebag killer on Utah’s death row was executed by a firing squad. I think that’s awesome. Know what is more hilarious than that? His family played “Freebird” as the gunfire rained down.
From the SLTrib here:
Ronnie Lee Gardner’s quarter-century on death row ended at 12:20 today when a firing squad executed one of Utah’s most notorious killers. His death signaled the end of a gut-wrenching saga for the families of the Utah men Gardner murdered or wounded and those who had hoped to spare the killer’s life.
Barb Webb, daughter of Gardner victim Nick Kirk, sobbed when news of the execution came.
“I’m so relieved it’s all over,” she said, hugging her daughter, Mandi Hull. “I just hope my sister, who just passed away, and my father, and all of the other victims are waiting for his sorry ass. I hope they get to go down after him.”
Just after midnight, Gardner’s family members leaned against each other in a tight cluster and sobbed. They played Lynyrd’s Skynyrd’s “Free Bird,” singing along.
“I’m just glad it’s over. I’m glad he’s free,” said Randy Gardner after his brother’s death.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Half Billion Skimmed Annually
Jun 18th
Brian Krebs showed up on the Today Show to talk about ATM skimming. Check it out:
Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...4 PM Music: The Eels – “Unhinged”
Jun 17th
If Armageddon was reenacted by toys in stop motion it might look something like this set to this awesome song by the Eels.
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