I can't believe that came from your mouth!
Archive for May, 2010
Walt Disney Music Box
May 5th
I encountered this bizarre music box on the train platform at the main street station in Walt Disney World. It has a xylophone, piano, triangle, and castanettes all built into the box and it plays for a quarter.
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Loading ...Well Dad-gum!
May 4th
Cartney hanging with Mater. You know, like “Tuh-Mater” without the ‘Tuh!”
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(2 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...Hero Worship
May 4th
Cartney rubs fenders with one of his favorite people.
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(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...Time for Some Backflips
May 3rd
I can’t quite get the boy potty-trained, but he has managed to teach himself how to do a backwards twist off the side of the pool.
It should be an interesting summer!
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...10 PM Music: The Black Keys – “Tighten Up”
May 3rd
Cruising around in a rental car that has XM Satellite and I got to hear this song on the new music rock station. Awesome, and the video is cute too. Check it out!
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Amateur Archaeologist
May 3rd
Cartney outside TREX in Downtown Disney uncovering some interesting fossilized critters.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Fox Five Finds Soy Products on Their Faces
May 3rd
Seriously Fox 5 New York? You let some bubble-headed news wench talk about ejaculated material on the air?
Any word on whether this news lady has been fired? I have a feeling she is very inimate with the subject matter.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Eel Be Alright
May 2nd
You know that prank where if one of your buddies passes out while drinking all of his friends draws mustaches and penises on his face with a Sharpie® marker? Well the Chinese have a version of this prank too. Instead of using a Sharpie®, they use an eel. And instead of the face, its the ass, as in shove the eel up it, take pictures and “raugh.”
From the Shanghaiist here:
A man has died after an eel that was inserted into his rectum gnawed away at his bowels, causing agonising injuries which were eventually fatal.
The 59-year-old man, a chef, was reportedly taken to a Sichuan hospital complaining of abdominal pain, dehydration and a great deal of anal bleeding. He was soon diagnosed as being in a severe state of shock.
Doctors were mystified as to the cause, and obtained permission from his family to undertake an exploratory laparotomy. Cutting open his innards, they discovered a 50cm long Asian swamp eel lodged in his rectum.
Though dead, the eel had apparently already wrought havoc on his innards, biting its way through his intestines prior to dying. Internal bleeding and infection rapidly set in. He lingered for 10 days in intensive care but eventually succumbed to the injuries and sepsis.
The likely cause was eventually established – he had apparently been drinking with friends, and had passed out. His friends had decided it would be amusing to insert a live eel into his anus whilst he was comatose.
Classic case of eel-ass.
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(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...Awesome Infomercial for Middle Aged Geeks
May 2nd
Remember that guy in High School who was the greasy-haired nerd who seemed way too much into Dungeons and Dragons? Whatever happened to that guy? Oh, I see he is making incredible infomercials involving meat parts, boots and a friggin awesome GREAT SWORD!
Know what’s awesome about this video? All of it! But the best part is that they stuffed the cowboy boots with steak before cutting the friggin’ feet clean off!
Fact of the matter is that a great sword does, at the very least, 1D8 damage with a minus 1 initiative because its unwieldy and slow. Some revised rules put it at 2D6 + 3 damage. So maybe in the hands of the right weapons master this could be formidable. In the hands of fat geeks in dress shirts? All damage takes a minus 4 HP damage.
Regardless, all informercials should be about weaponry from Middle Earth!
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Roll Roll Roll Your Kid
May 1st
It has been a warm weekend so far and Cartney wanted some impromptu lessons in gravity and inertia, so we headed out to the Town Center.
And yes, he did get all of those little scratches you get when you wallow in grass- you remember, the kind that stings when you take your bath at night? He didn’t seem to mind much.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Obama Was Banging Vera Baker
May 1st
My readers know that I’m not a fan of Barack Obama. I disagree with just about all of his policies, I think he holds a racist grudge against white people and his leftist ideology is doing real damage to this country. But at least I always told people that I like him as a person because he seems nice, earnest, and was what appeared to be a good husband and a good Dad. Now I can scratch those qualities from my “Like” column on my scorecard. There is nothing left to like about him now that its been revealed he has been cheating on his wife with a campaign worker.
From the National Enquirer, the paper that was 100% accurate on the John Edwards cheating scandal story:
PRESIDENT OBAMA in a shocking cheating scandal after being caught in a Washington, DC Hotel with a former campaign aide.
A confidential investigation has learned that Obama first became close to gorgeous 35 year-old VERA BAKER in 2004 when she worked tirelessly to get him elected to the US Senate, raising millions in campaign contributions.
While Baker has insisted in the past that “nothing happened” between them, reports reveal that top anti-Obama operatives are offering more than $1 million to witnesses to reveal what they know about the alleged hush-hush affair.
Among those being offered money is a limo driver who says in 2004 that he took Vera to a secret hotel rendezvous in where Obama was staying.
I think Michelle Obama knew about it too, which is why Vera Baker fled to Martinique. So this would make Michelle Obama the latest in a long line of ever-so-noble Democrat wives that eat gigantic hairy shit sandwiches in public as they proclaim that the affair was a private issue and they are going to stand by their man.
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