Will Snakes Evolve Thumbs?

If humans eventually cease to be, will snakes evolve thumbs so they can light their Bic lighters? Whoa, you say, how can you have Bic lighters without humans to make them? Because the Bic factories will be run by otters. They have to do something with their webbed fingers after the clams are all gone due to salt-resistent slugs that eat all of them.

From the Metro here:

You don’t want to deny Po the pit viper his regular morning cigarette – he’s guaranteed to throw a hissy fit.

That’s because the three-year-old reptile from Taipei in Taiwan has become hooked on nicotine, thanks to his owner Sho Lau’s 20-a-day habit.

‘He is very tame and one day when I threw a cigarette butt away he went for it and seemed to enjoy having it in his mouth,’ said 33-year-old Lau. ‘One thing led to another and before long he was having one cigarette in the morning and another at night.’

‘He gets very agitated if I don’t have any to spare,’ he added.

It won’t last long. Snakes will get hooked on tobacco in California, but the state will ban cigarettes and then legalize pot, but the snakes are too sophisticated to use dope.