How to Put a Douchebag In Jail at Your High School Reunion
In an otherwise uninteresting movie starring John Cusack, Gross Pointe Blank was about a hitman who went to his High School Reunion where he managed to kill a dude with an ink pen. When Colleen Salonga, a Commander in the US Navy went to her reunion at Alhambra High School in Martinez, California, she encountered Steve Burton, the chinless wonderdouche who was still staring inappropriately at girls, and had the gall to show up in a Marine Corp Dress uniform wearing medals and ribbons he didn’t earn. So Colleen, who should have killed him where he stood with an ink pen just like Cusack did, instead posed for a picture with the dolt and sent it the FBI.
From SmokingGun here:
Just in time for Veteran’s Day, a California bank employee is facing federal charges for masquerading as a decorated Marine and wearing a host of bogus medals, including the Purple Heart, Bronze Star, and Navy Cross. Steven Burton, 39, is scheduled to surrender tomorrow in U.S. District Court in Riverside, California (Burton, who has never served in the armed forces, was named last week in a misdemeanor criminal information charging him with the unauthorized wearing of military medals). Burton’s charade was discovered after an actual Navy commander, Colleen Salonga, ran into Burton at their high school reunion. Salonga and Burton graduated in 1988 from Alhambra High School in Martinez, California (and that their class’s 20th reunion was last October). Suspicious that Burton was playing dress up, Salonga asked to take a photo with him. That image, seen below, was later provided to FBI agents. A subsequent investigation turned up another photo of Burton in uniform as well as blog postings in which he recounted his “combat experience” and tours in Iraq and Afghanistan. In the real world, Burton is employed at Rabobank in Palm Springs, California.
He should get the maximum fine and a year in jail for this.
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