I can't believe that came from your mouth!
Archive for August, 2009
UPS Maps Out the Pirates
Aug 6th
You thought UPS only shipped packages and drove those big brown trucks and wore those brown shorts? Well they also sell Pirate Insurance. Just in case your shipments are lost to Corsairs along the Barbary Coast, or your packages end up in Davy Jones’ locker when a military vessel blasts a pirate scow out of the water, you need coverage, and they offer it for less. The original image from below is here, embedded in a letter posted by, of all people, ArchieMcPhee, who makes whoopie cusion gag gifts and has an interest in making sure that their shipments from Taiwan arrive on time.
But what I want you to notice is where all of the pirates are: Along the coasts of Islamic countries- Along Thailand, the Indian coast, the Arabian Peninsula, and of course along the Ivory Coast and Ethiopian waters. There are pirate problems in Morocco too.
Leftist Indians along Peru and Ecuador’s coasts are clearly marked along with one outpost in the Caribbean, which must be Jack Sparrow or Venezuelans.
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Loading ...Twitter Went Tits Up Over One Tweeter
Aug 6th
How amazing would it be if Twitter, Facebook, LiveJournal and Google Blogger all went dark because of one man’s account? According to CNET, this is exactly what happened.
To see the rest of this story, go to Geeks Are Sexy and read my post there.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...New Eco-Implant Device Tracks Your Carbon Footprint
Aug 6th
Want a way for the government to track your every move and also measure how much carbon you are spewing into the atmosphere? Boy, democrats do, and leftists at the “green” site Treehugger seem to think this is a “step in the right direction.”
From Treehugger here:
If you live in a city with a good metro system, you’re probably used to having a swipe card system of some sort – What if your swipe card were based on carbon emissions instead? That’s the idea for this wearable carbon emissions tracker.
Rather than a key or a card, the carbon meter would fit on your hand and glows a particular color – green, yellow, orange or red – depending on how well you’re using your public transportation allowance. But there’s more…it’d give the government insight on how well the public transportation systems are being used.
It has a slight ring of cyborg and Big Brother, but the idea is still kind of appealing. Knowing exactly the impact your choice of transportation is making in real time would be a big step forward.
Having the government track your every move is a big step forward? Who the hell do these leftists think they are??! They despised Bush because he wanted to listen in on terrorists calling home to foreign countries, but forcible daily transit and movement monitoring is just fine for these loonies!
Well, if that’s how they want to play it, I’m all for it. I would like to know where leftists are 24/7 too. In fact, lets just expand this a bit more to its logical conclusion- Lets implant the chip biologically.
Once you hit your total governmental allotted Carbon Limit, or reach the ripe old age of say… 30- the gemface of the implant will start glowing red. Then Leftists have to voluntarily commit suicide in a grand public ceremony in the town square to the applause of normal people. And if the leftists refuse for some reason to commit suicide in the name of the environment, government agents will arrive to “put them to sleep.” I know! We’ll call those agents “Sandmen.” Sounds like a great movie.
Thanks to Moonbattery for the link.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...1 PM Music: The Beatles Rock Band Game – Birthday
Aug 6th
This song video was leaked to gamers who signed up for the prerelease of the Beatles’ Rock Band game. You have to click the image to watch.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Cop Arrested for Injecting Sour Cream Into Burritos
Aug 6th
An openly gay cop is in jail without bail for raping at least 8 Hispanic illegal alien straight men. Jonathan Bleiweiss was a decorated sheriff’s deputy, 2008 Employee of the Year, and a gay rights advocate whose method of operation was to pull over Hispanic males, find out they were undocumented, then force them to have gay sex with him in the back of his patrol car. He would also force the men, under threat of deportation, to give him their cell phone numbers so he could call them up and coerce them into have yet more and more unwanted gay sex with him.
From the SunSentinel here:
Bleiweiss, 29, is accused of intimidating at least eight illegal immigrants he picked up on traffic stops, including a teen, into performing sexual acts while he was on duty in Oakland Park. He faces 14 criminal charges.
Broward Sheriff’s Office officials said Wednesday they are considering more charges against Bleiweiss. Investigators ask that other people come forward if they have information about Bleiweiss.
The seven-year veteran deputy is jailed without bail and in protective custody. His attorney said Wednesday he plans to seek a new bail hearing.
The disgusting arrest affidavit reads like a twisted gay fantasy. It quotes several illegal alien men who describe the encounters with Bleiweiss as a nasty cock-gobbler who begged for the men to ejaculate into his mouth, gurgling “Quiero tu leche,” or Spanish for “I want your milk.” One man begged him to stop because “he liked girls.”
It is clear that Bleiweiss is a sexual deviant who deserves to be locked away for a very long time. In this story here, homeless people rejoiced that Bleiweiss was locked up. They call him Hitler because he would needlessly bully and intimidate them, including stealing their blankets and pillows from their sleeping spots just for kicks.
But how about those illegal aliens doing the jobs Americans just won’t do?
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...11 PM Music: Weird Al Yankovic – CNR
Aug 5th
Weird Al takes on Jack White and the White Stripes in this awesome JibJab music video where he idolizes Charles Nelson Reilly, the megastar of Match Game in the 1970′s. In the song, CNR kills Chuck Norris. That’s how cool this video is!
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Murder is a Great Cure for Internet Addiction
Aug 5th
I have written in the past about how the Chinese think that kids who like to spend time on the Internet instead of interacting with communist society are internet addicts that must be cured. They even use electric shock to treat this made-up addiction.
From the BBC here with thanks to Tuffer:
A Chinese teenager sent to an internet addiction rehabilitation camp has been beaten to death by its counsellors. A number of employees of the Qihang Salvation Training Camp in Nanning have been arrested over the death.
The camp had promised to put Deng Senshan, 15, under 24-hour supervision. Camp staff put the teenager in solitary confinement on Saturday and then beaten him that evening.
China is increasingly taking action against what it sees as a pandemic of web addiction. Some estimates suggest up to 10% of the country’s 100 million teenage web users could be addicted, and a growing number of rehabilitation services exist.
However, there is little consensus on how to treat the addiction. In July, China’s Ministry of Health formally banned the use of electroshock therapy as a treatment option.
Hey, maybe these lucky parents of the dead boy will be cleared by the Central Government to have another baby.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...3 PM Music: DaBramahBull – Fairfax Rap
Aug 5th
This is an epic YouTube Response to Remy’s Arlington Rap featured here. Hilarious mentions are the Old Shabeen and the fact that you can drink underage at the downtown college bars (not really, yes really). Check it out. Thanks Mary for the tip!
Don’t we have any homies in Reston representin’?
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...In Islam, Its Okay to Eat Mermaids
Aug 5th
Wait, what? According to Rob Taylor at Red Alerts, he has some Koranic verses that details how and why it is okay, if your were a Muslim man or woman, to find a mermaid lying on a beach and eat her flesh alive like a zombie cannibal, all with Allah’s blessing. It’s halal!
From RedAlerts here:
A mermaid is a creature that lives in water and looks like a human. As to whether it really exists or it is a mythical being, that is subject to further discussion.
It says in a footnote in al-Mawsoo’ah al-Fiqhiyyah (5/129): From the modern academic resources that are available to us, it may be understood that the mermaid, which is called Sirène in French, is a mythical creature that is described in fairy tales as having an upper body like a woman and a lower half like a fish.
Many of the fuqaha’ mentioned mermaids and differed on the ruling concerning them. Some of them said that they are permissible (to eat) because of the general meaning of the evidence which says that whatever is in the sea is permissible.
Maybe this explains why there are no mermaids left. The muslims ate them all.
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(1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 6) Loading ...Dan Riehl Drops Dox on Jessie “Gryphen” Griffin
Aug 4th
Annoyed that Gryphen of Alaskan Blog ImmoralMinority kept making up stuff about Sarah Palin, including spreading rumors that she was getting a divorce, which is why she had quit the Governor’s office, blogger Dan Riehl and freelance journalist RS McCain outed Gryphen by dropping dox on his ass.
Dan links to Jessie Griffin’s Myspace page and informs readers that this blogger, who is a kindergarten teacher, has written that he will force the boys he teaches to wear dresses so they somehow won’t get drafted to fight in Iraq.
Jesse Griffin, when discussing a possible military draft, wrote:
Quick hide your children! They are getting ready to feed them into Vietraq’s bottomless pit of death and destruction.
I am teaching my boys to wear dresses and swish when they walk because being ignorant or drug addicted is no longer a guarantee of being passed over. If your not willing to suck cock then pack up your going to Iraq! Posted by Gryphen at 7:34 AM
This addled 49-year-old moonbat is an assistant kindergarten teacher. Just one more reason to homeschool.
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(2 votes, average: 1.00 out of 6) Loading ...Internet Speed Bumps
Aug 4th
Ever have one of those moments where you stumble onto something on the Internet and are so captivated by the bizarreness of it all that you have to question the meaning of reality? This is one of those moments. While Googling what the heck “LARP” was this video came up. LARP stands for “live action role playing” and was featured heavily in the awesome movie Role Models. LARP is also the bottom center square on the “You’re a Crazy Bitch Bingo Scorecard” which is what made me run into this Internet Speed Bump in the first place.
What made me question reality was whether or not the Bic lighter was part of standard medieval wizardry garb, or if this dork was worried about putting someone’s eye out with a magic missile, which, by the way, according to official D&D rules, never misses, which cannot be said for roman candles. And why the hell do I know this about magic missiles anyways?
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Herk Versus OckPoo
Aug 4th
Finally a video on YouTube has displaced the dreaded RedBull Helicopter doing loops. The boy asks for this one by name by repeating “OckPoo Herk” over and over, which translated means Octopus Versus Shark.
Part of me wants to tell Cartney at the end that the OckPoo was “just giving hugs,” but I think telling him the truth about the grisly doom might be healthier for him. I tried to show him just videos of sharks or just videos of Octopi, but he insists on this video. I thought about showing him the awful trailer MegaShark vs Giant Octopus but I was afraid that he would be scared by Debbie Gibson.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Calling Obama a Socialist Makes Me Dangerous
Aug 4th
There is a new meme going around depicting Obama as Heath Ledger’s Joker from Batman. I like it. Below is my contribution-
This is based on this story here, linked from Drudge, which says that posters going up in Los Angeles (a real conservative town, amiright?) are being decried by Obama supporters as “dangerous” and “beyond political spoofery.” Wow, where were these guys when everyone was calling Bush “Hitler?”
This nation deserves a better class of criminal, and dog gone it, Obama’s gonna give it to us.
More on this meme here at Moonbattery. HotAir wants to know, “Why so serious?”
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Melissa Hathaway Quits Her Nebulous Obama Cyber-Post
Aug 4th
Melissa Hathaway left her post at the Office of the Director of National Intelligence to work for Obama to deliver a 60 day cybersecurity review of the national critical infrastructure and make recommendations for a “way forward” to help set policy for Obama. That cyber review was a tepid revamp of recommendations that Bush had received and the same recommendations that US-CERT and DHS make as well. Since the review, she has had some nebulous role with the Obama administration, but for some reason was not considered for the role of the “Cyber Czar.” So she quit.
From ComputerWorld here:
Acting White House head of cyber security Melissa Hathaway has resigned ahead of a president Barack Obama making a permanent appointment to the post he created in May.
Hathaway, who has been on loan from the Office of the Director of National Intelligence, said she had resigned for personal reasons.
The move confirms speculation that Hathaway is out of the running to become the US national coordinator for cyber security. She was tipped for the job after leading the Obama administration’s 60-day review of the federal government’s cybersecurity capabilities.
New front runners for the post include former Clinton assistant defence secretary Franklin Kramer and former White House IT security advisor Howard Schmidt.
Schmidt would be a good choice, but seriously, enough with the czars in Washington. Hathaway probably quit because of all Obama’s czars, she had the least amount of activity on her criminal record and didn’t want to be associated with these guys.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Roseanne Dresses as Hitler in Jewish Mag
Aug 2nd
What do you expect from a woman who called Israel a “Nazi” state for defending itself against Palestinian missiles? Roseanne called up Heeb magazine and requested to do a photo shoot while dressed as Adolf Hitler. Then she burns jewish gingerbread men in an oven. And according to the article, she fantasizes that she is a reincarnated Adolf.
The photographer writes in Heeb here:
As I wait for Barr to arrive, I contemplate the pop culture folklore that surrounds her: the alleged multiple personality disorder, the roller coaster relationship with Tom Arnold—which culminated in a bitter divorce—the theory (her own) that she may in fact be the reincarnation of Adolf Hitler, whom she has requested to be dressed as for her Heeb photo shoot. “Nervous” doesn’t begin to describe my feelings about meeting this 5’4” Jewish grandmother.
Why do leftists get away with being so racist?
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Good Guys and Robots
Aug 2nd
I got tired of Cartney applauding for robots and spaceships while watching the eco-preachy movie of Wall-E over and over again. He wanted to see space ships? Robots? Dinosaurs? Blaster battles and laser sword fights? Deep down, I knew. It was time. He had to know what a true space movie was. So I sat down with the boy and introduced him to Star Wars.
Long before the protracted trench assault on the DeathStar, Cartney was enraptured by the robots, the “good guys” the wookie and the space ships. If he thought that was cool, wait until he see ewoks.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Riding the Fish
Aug 2nd
We went to the 4H fair at Frying Pan Park today. The weather was drizzly, but there were carnival rides and lots of yummy carnival food so we stuck around and had a great time. Cartney even got to solo on his first carnival ride today. He liked this ride, “Willy the Whale” the best and every time it ended he would say “Fish Again! Fish Again!”
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...3 AM Music: Paul McCartney and Wings – “Mrs. Vandebilt”
Aug 2nd
We saw Paul McCartney perform this song during his concert and it was way more upbeat and fun to see it performed with his new band live in concert. Here is the original, so enjoy.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Paul McCartney Concert
Aug 1st
Got back fom Vegas last night at 1 am. No time to relax though because we have tickets to see Sir Paul at FedEx Field tonight and my wife is already squealing like a schoolgirl.
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