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Big Headed Sheryl Crow’s Dumb Ideas

For a skinny chick with a huge skull, you would think that some pretty good ideas would rattle around that noggin.  Not so if you are Sheryl Crow.  She crossed the country in a bio-diesel bus thinking and thinking of a good idea to help save the world from “global warming.”  I guess she did a lot of this contemplation in the stinky potty at the back of the bus.  Her big idea?  Use just one square of toilet paper.

 

From the Register here:

Sheryl Crow – who’s just completed a US “Stop Global Warming College Tour” with “environmental activist” Laurie David – has formulated a cunning plan to save the planet: use less toilet paper and dispense with the services of paper napkins.

Her illuminating blog reveals she “spent the better part of this tour trying to come up with easy ways for us all to become a part of the solution to global warming”.

And here’s the upshot of that contemplation: “I propose a limitation be put on how many sqares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don’t want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where two to three could be required.”

Furthermore, Crow also fancies the idea of “not using paper napkins, which happen to be made from virgin wood and represent the height of wastefullness”.

Moron doesn’t know that paper is renewable.  Don’t shake this woman’s hand.  It will be sticky and smell like ass crack.  And don’t sit in the first three rows of one of her concerts-  When she strums her guitar, she is actually raining E-Coli speckled flakes of poo on the crowd.  And if you see Sheryl come down with a sudden case of Pink Eye, you will know that she is following her own advice.

You know, I do lots of thinking in the bathroom too.  I’m thinking I won’t be buying any records from crazy vegan big-headed bitches any time soon.

Dr. Jones

Do not talk about fight club. Oops.

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