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Hilarious Article on the “Cult of Emo”

The British tabloids are going berserk over “emo” fashion and attitudes taking root in Great Britain. And supposedly, wearing black clothing makes their precious snowflakes want to “snuff it.”

First up is the face of failure- Hannah Bond. She goes from homely to goth-and-homely, to having pennies over her eyes.

From the Mail here:

Hannah was a happy 13-year-old until she became an ’emo’ – part of a sinister teenage craze that romanticises death. Three months later she hanged herself. Here, her devastated mother tells other parents: No child is safe

Hannah was what is known as an “emo”. Some describe it as a cult or a sect, but in reality the term โ€” derived from the word “emotional” โ€” encapsulates a trend that is becoming hugely popular among Britain’s schoolchildren.

A trans-Atlantic import, its followers dress in black, favouring tight jeans, T-shirts, studded belts and sneakers or skater shoes.

Hair is all-important: often dyed black and straightened, it is worn in a long fringe brushed to one side of the face.

Some time before her death, Hannah’s parents, who live in Kent, noticed scarring on the inside of her wrists.

When they questioned her about it, honest and open as ever, she told them she’d inflicted the wounds herself and that it was part of an emo “initiation ceremony”.

Only after her death would they discover how she had secretly chatted online to emo followers all over the world, talking about death and of the “black parade” โ€” a place where emos believe they go after they die.

This is all so hilarious in the fear mongering and misrepresentation. But what do you expect when kids are taught that there is no God, life is meaningless, and there is no hope? I call it Darwinism.

Mopey ass kids. Stay off my lawn!

Dr. Jones

Do not talk about fight club. Oops.

4 thoughts on “Hilarious Article on the “Cult of Emo”

  • DON’T DRINK THE KOOL-AID!!!!!!!

    Did this “journalist” even research “emo” before writing about it?

  • What do emo kids drink anyways? I’m guessing “strawberry quik.”

  • No, that’s what celebrities drink, laced with cocaine.

    Emo kids drink milk, straight up.

  • Coffee black like I feel inside.

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