I can't believe that came from your mouth!
Archive for October, 2007
2 Billion Dollars of Bad Checks Seized in Nigerian Scams
Oct 5th
More good news in the crackdown against Internet fraudsters. 77 people were rounded up for advanced fee 419 scams. In the process, over 2 Billion in fake checks were seized.

From E-Week here:
An international crackdown on Internet financial scams this year has yielded more than $2.1 billion in seized fake checks and 77 arrests in the Netherlands, Nigeria and Canada, U.S. and others, authorities said on Wednesday.
The scammers, often West African organized crime groups, use ploys such as “spam” e-mail offering to pay recipients “processing fees” for depositing checks, which later turn out to be phony, and sending the ostensible proceeds to the scammer.
The crackdown netted 16 arrests in Nigeria, 60 in the Netherlands and one in Canada, said Greg Campbell, U.S. Postal Inspection Service inspector in charge of global security.
Three suspects from the Netherlands and Nigeria were extradited to New York and are awaiting trial, said U.S. Assistant Attorney General Alice Fischer. The United States is seeking to extradite five others.
I get at least five of these fraud spam emails per week from some pitiful widow or jailed dissident who needs little ol’ me to help them funnel millions of dollars and I get to keep a huge hunk for my troubles.
As I have noted in the past, others fall for this scam with bad consequences. Mary Winkler killed her husband over it and a town treasurer used city funds to pursue one of these scams.
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Clay Bunnies Multiply in New York City
Oct 5th
Its a stop motion commercial for Bravia from Sony, an LCD Television. Which to me is kinda weird. Why wouldn’t a high-tech computer company use CGI animation? But click below to enjoy it. Thanks to GeeksAreSexy for the link.
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RIAA Scores a Big Win in P2P Case
Oct 5th
Jammie Thomas, a Minnesota woman who was sharing songs on her Kazaa P2P network, now has to pay almost a quarter of a million dollars to the RIAA. Ouch. Goes to show that music piracy, mixed with stupid P2P users, results in big dollar scores.

Doh! Well at least she still has a full MP3 player. That was worth it, right?
From Reuters here:
The recording industry has won a major fight in its effort to stop illegal music downloading with a U.S. jury decision to impose $222,000 damages against a Minnesota woman who used a Web service to share music.
The jury in the civil case in the U.S. District Court of Minnesota on Thursday found Jammie Thomas infringed copyrighted song recordings, and awarded damages of $9,250 for each of the 24 recordings cited. The verdict marked the first jury trial in the U.S. industry’s drive to combat piracy with lawsuits against an individual.
According to court documents, the record companies sued Thomas in April 2006 after 1,702 music files involving artists such as Green Day, Aerosmith and Guns ‘N’ Roses were traced to a computer tied to her. A year earlier, investigators had located an individual with the screen name “tereastarr@KaZaA” using the Kazaa file-sharing software program.
“This individual was downloading copyrighted sound recordings from other users of the Kazaa network, and was distributing copyrighted sound recordings stored on her computer to other Kazaa users,” the plaintiffs said.
Well, you get what you deserve. For years Jammie Thomas had heard that sharing music over the internet was wrong, but she didn’t think the law applied to her. Or maybe she was buying into all the BS that “everybody does it, so its okay.” Or the anti-RIAA crowd had her convinced that she could win this in court.
CNET has a great write-up of why Thomas was pummeled in court.
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Elizabeth Edwards’ Cancer Was Phony
Oct 4th
The dumpy wife of the girlish John Edwards shot her mouth off today questioning the medical records of Rush Limbaugh. And she thinks that if he was medically unfit to serve in the military, he should be medically unfit to sit in a chair and do his radio show.

Look, my wife still has fake cancer!
From Politico here:
My classmates went to Vietnam, he did not. He was 4F. He had a medical disability, the same medical disability that probably should have stopped him from spending a lifetime in a radio announcer’s chair; but it is true, isn’t it? If he has an inoperable position that allows him not to serve, presumably it should not allow him to sit for long periods of time the way he does.
What a bitch. Let me be the first blogger to declare that faking bone cancer disqualifies Elizabeth Edwards from being the first lady of the United States. Oh wait, her fake bone cancer won’t disqualify her. The American people will do that at the polls.
Keep talking about quashing private citizens’ free speech, Libs.
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7000 Lashes for ButtSecks
Oct 4th
Boy, those Saudis sure know how to party. They go homo-hunting and beat those sodomizing men with whips 7000 times. Each. In public. Just to make sure no other queer-thinking ass-jihadis want to go rump ranging. And if there are little kids in the audience, this is great too because those little kids need to know that gratuitous sex needs to be reserved for women who wear veils, who have to be virgins or you kill them like the dirty whores they are.

Just to make sure they had the lash count right, they went to Sesame Street and brought in the Count. He watched those dirty sodomites get their whippings, and he laughed out loud each time the leather hit their bleeding backs. “One Thousand, Four Hundred Eighty Six Lashes, Ha Ha Haaa! *Whirrr-CRACK* One Thousand, Four Hundred Eighty Seven Lashes, Ha Ha Haaa!”
From the AFP here:
TWO men in Saudi Arabia have been sentenced to 7000 lashes each after being convicted of sodomy and have received their first round of punishment in public. The men, who were not identified, were meted out an unspecified number of lashes in public in the southwestern city of Al-Bahah on Tuesday evening.
They were then returned to prison where they are to be held until the full punishment is completed, the newspaper added, without saying how many sessions this would involve.
Homosexual acts are illegal in Saudi Arabia, which metes out strict punishment based on sharia, or Islamic law.
You know, all those men hand holding and kissing each other in public in Saudi Arabia is bound to get some gays all worked up.
That’s right, you democrats. Keep wanting to surrender to Al-Queda. Maybe gays can be exterminated all across the Asian continents. Thanks to Sweetness and Light for this horrifying story.
Azamehr blogs about a journalist that pissed of Iran who was sentenced to 74 lashes, and his wife didn’t think he would live through it.
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Cyber Security Awareness Month: Personal Firewalls
Oct 4th
More people than ever access the Internet through a broadband service provider. But not all Broadband providers provide firewalls with their service. If you are one of those people that connect to the internet directly through a cable modem or DSL hookup, your computer is likely bombarded every minute with hundreds of attacks or probes from across the web.

During the height of some of the worst internet worms such as Deloader, Slapper, SoBig, and even Code Red, it was impossible to connect a new, unpatched Microsoft PC directly to the internet to download security updates. Before the first patch could be installed the PC was infected with something.
The only way to build a host was to install all of the patches from a CDROM. Otherwise, you had to use a firewall device or program to prevent malicious packets from reaching your PC. Thankfully most PC’s sold today have firewalls built into them, which at least buys some time for people to install patches from the web.
But personal firewalls are still needed for regular safe operation, and preferably a hardware-based solution such as a wireless router, which has a firewall built-in and preconfigured for security. Many software based solutions have themselves been the target of hackers in the past, but it is still better than nothing.
If you want a good idea of the types of attacks going on in CyberSpace, check out Arbor’s Atlas here.
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Batman Lectures Robin- Constantly!
Oct 4th
There is a hilarious list of Batman quotes from the old TV series starring Adam West on a Tripod page (I know, something cool on Tripod?? WTF?) broken out into categories such as things he says to criminals, heroic statements, and how he lectured Robin about life. Thanks to Neatorama for pointing this out.

Robin: “Let’s go!”
Batman: “Not you, Robin. They have strict licensing laws in this country. A boy of your age is not allowed in a drinking tavern.”
Dick Grayson: “What’s so important about Chopin?”
Bruce Wayne: “All music is important, Dick. It’s the universal language. One of our best hopes for the eventual realization of the brotherhood of man.”
Dick Grayson: “Gosh Bruce, yes, you’re right. I’ll practice harder from now on.”
Robin: “Boy! That was our closest call ever! I have to admit that I was pretty scared!”
Batman: “I wasn’t scared in the least.”
Robin: “Not at all?”
Batman: “Haven’t you noticed how we always escape the vicious ensnarements of our enemies?”
Robin: “Yeah, because we’re smarter than they are!”
Batman: “I like to think it’s because our hearts are pure.”
Bruce: “Yes, Dick, your bird calls are close to perfect. If more people practiced them, someday we might have a chance for real communication with our feathered friends.”
Dick: “In that case I think I’ll polish up my ruby-crowned kinglet and my rose-breasted yellow-tailed grouse-beak calls.”
Dick: “Gosh, Economics is sure a dull subject.”
Bruce: “Oh, you must be jesting, Dick. Economics dull? The glamour, the romance of commerce… Hmm. It’s the very lifeblood of our country’s society.”
The rest of the lists are here.
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Review of Across the Universe
Oct 4th
We got out with the baby last night and managed to see Across the Universe, Sony Picture’s tribute movie to the Beatles. The story centers upon three main characters, Jude, Max and Lucy, and how their lives changed in the late 1960′s in the face of the counter-culture and the Vietnam War.
Taken as a whole, the movie is a disjointed, inaccurate depiction of the 1960′s and the events of that era, and it is really difficult to care about any of the characters or what happens to them. In fact, some characters I really didn’t like. For instance, Max burns his draft notice, goes on an LSD bender, tries to lie to his induction officer that he has tumors, and ends up going to Vietnam. I found myself rooting for the VC to pump a few rounds into his chest. He makes it out okay, though. Bite me if I spoiled the move for you.
There really is no conflict in the movie for any of the characters to overcome. In fact, the worst thing that happens to any of the characters in the move is Jude gets deported. But he comes back in the next scene. Even the characters that were obviously supposed to be Janis Joplin and Jimmy Hendrix were just fine and dandy and didn’t OD on anything.
But when you get beyond the fact that the movie is pointless, what is left is brilliant, vibrant film scenes full or art and color and great music. In fact, each vignette stands out on their own as masterful music videos to some of the greatest Beatles songs of all time.
There were great surprises in the movie as well. Bono, who I really think is a pompous ass in life, gave a brilliant performance as “The Walrus,” a Timothy Leary-esque LSD guru. His singing was brilliant and his acting was pretty good too. The other great surprise was “Mr. Kite,” the sideshow circus ringleader, which was played brilliantly by Eddie Izzard.
If you are bored with the late summer lineup of movie duds, check out this movie. It makes as much sense as Pink Floyd’s the Wall, but its much more beautiful and the music is great. And its much more watchable than any movie that starred the Beatles themselves. You can see clips of the movie here.
My wife’s review: “Best Film Ever!”
My 3.5-month old baby’s review? Three kicks and a thumb suck.
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Big Bang Theory Sitcom is Geeky Goodness
Oct 3rd
I went onto CBS’s website last night and watched the latest episode of Big Bang Theory. Its a new sitcom about painfully geeky guys who live next door to a hot chick. If you have 22 minutes to spare, and speak fluent geek, surf over to here and check it out.
A clip of it is below.
I’m not too sure how well its going to do. Its up against Monday Night Football, and unless you are a science major or speak a little Klingonese, some of the dialog might be beyond many Americans. But I thought it was clever and hilarious at times.
At the end of Monday’s episode, the geeks are huddling trying to figure out how to keep a stereo cool in a new IKEA entertainment center. They brainstorm past cooling fans to liquid cooling, before settling on aluminum plating to act as a giant heat sink. This made me crack up, ’cause, I’m pretty geeky too, but I’m not sure everyone will think its funny.
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McAfee Head’s Wild Ass Claim- CyberCrime Surpasses Illegal Drug Trade
Oct 3rd
Richard Stiennon, in his article here, takes McAfee’s CEO David DeWalt to task for spreading a ridiculous meme that cyber-crime is now outpacing the illegal drug trade.
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And for the record, its not. CyberCrime is big and its a bad threat. And its costs to businesses and personal lives in the area of data loss and identity theft is large, but its manageable. Drugs, on the other hand, destroy lives and kill people. They plunge entire countries into chaos and wreck economies. They turn people into murderers and brokers of slaves. I don’t think a phishing scam is on the same level.
McAfee’s DeWalt is quoted here.
Despite the increase in government compliance requirements and the proliferation of security tools, companies continue to underestimate the threat from phishing, data loss, and other cyber vulnerabilities, new McAfee CEO David DeWalt said Tuesday.
Citing recent highly publicized corporate data breaches that have beset major companies like Ameritrade, Citigroup, and Bank of America, DeWalt said that cyber-crime has become a US$105 billion business that now surpasses the value of the illegal drug trade worldwide.
So did DeWalt pull this quote and this figure out of his ass? Not really. He quoted another consultant who pulled it out of his ass two years ago.
From Stiennon here:
As I pointed out here this all began when a Reuters journalist attended a conference in Riyadh. He managed to get a juicy quote from a lawyer who used to have a privacy position for the State of Colorado and claims to have consulted for the US Treasury Department (on what I ask?). The original quote, from 2005:
“Last year was the first year that proceeds from cyber-crime were greater than proceeds from the sale of illegal drugs, and that was, I believe, over $105 billion,”
The cyber security vendors have come a long way from the 90′s when every sales or marketing guy would be quoted as saying the US was vulnerable to an “Electronic Pearl Harbor.” But guys who now say that cyber security is worse than drugs is probably smoking a little something themselves.
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Bot Herder Busted
Oct 3rd
Greg King, a 21-year-old hacker, was busted by the cops for launching DDOS attacks against CastleCops, a cybersecurity site, and KillaNet, an online forum.

From The Reg here:
US police have arrested a man suspected of launching a distributed denial of service attack against volunteer security community CastleCops earlier this year.
Greg King, 21, of Fairfield, California, stands charged with four counts of hacking over attacks against CastleCops and KillaNet, a Canadian graphics and web design forum.
King used a network of more than 7,000 zombie compromised PCs to conduct multiple distributed denial of service attacks against the websites of both CastleCops and KillaNet.
King taunted KillaNet in a series of emails during the attacks. During his arrest King (AKA Silenz) allegedly fled out his backdoor and dumped a laptop in the bushes.
A DoJ statement on the case can be found here.
A Google search for Greg King’s online aliases show that he seeded dozens of torrents on Pirate Bay and other sites with trojans to spread his botnet. So this hacker made quite a few mistakes. First, he taunted his victim, which was undoubtedly the way that he was identified as the attacker. Next, he failed to encrypt his laptop, giving the Feds everything they needed to put him away. Finally, he left a trail of his misdeeds all over the internet because he repeatedly used his alias when seeding his malware.
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Wendy Knowlton Cook is Worst Mother Ever
Oct 2nd
Its bad enough to be a crack whore. But when you start having sex for money with your kids in the back seat of the car and doing lines of coke off the tummy of your 8-week old infant, its time to eat a bullet.
From CBS6Albany here:
A 37-year-old prostitute from Saratoga Springs was arrested by Schenectady police Monday morning when cops found that the woman performed sexual acts and consumed drugs in front of her children.
After arresting her, detectives learned that Cook’s two children had been left with friends in a car nearby. Shortly thereafter, police found Cook’s five-year-old daughter and eight-week-old son in Cook’s car with two adults.
As detectives continued their investigation, they learned that Cook had been out all night smoking crack and snorting cocaine while in the company of her children. Cook performed oral sex on at least two johns early Monday morning while her children were awake with her in the car’s back seat.
Additionally, Cook snorted cocaine off her eight-week-old son’s stomach while breastfeeding him.
Her children are in custody of family members, police said.
What a heinous bitch. She is the daughter of Jack Knowlton, the owner of the racehorse Funny Cide. An old article on FunnyCide’s website mentions that in 2003, Wendy blew up balloons for a living. Now she just blows dudes. Maybe the Knowltons can use some of that racehorse cash to get treatment for their stupid daughter like they should have done long ago.
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Judge to NASA Hippies: Get Badged or Get Fired
Oct 2nd
I wrote previously about a group of whining liberals at the Jet Propulsion Laboratories at Cal Tech who were suing so they wouldn’t have to get new badges like every other federal employee in the United States. They didn’t want to get fingerprinted so the US can screen out known felons and they didn’t want to undergo a financial background check to screen out people who are vulnerable to bribery and extortion. And they certainly didn’t want to answer any questions about how much dope they smoke.

If they don’t go along with the new badging requirements, they get fired.
The judge ruled that NASA should temporarily not ask the employees directly if they use drugs. I guess the professional investigators who do background checks will just ask their neighbors, as is standard practice for a clearance or a position of trust.
From the AP here:
A federal judge on Monday said he planned to temporarily bar NASA from asking workers at one of its research centers during background checks whether they had ever used drugs.
The drug use question was only a small part of a lawsuit filed by 28 scientists, engineers and staff at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Pasadena who claimed the new security measures invaded their privacy.
U.S. District Court Judge Otis Wright said he wanted to balance workers’ rights with national security. “I don’t want to see these employees hurt … but I want the security of this nation preserved,” Wright said. “I don’t want any sleepers infiltrating NASA or JPL.”
Wright’s written order was expected later this week. He set an Oct. 19 hearing to decide whether to grant a broader injunction preventing NASA from asking other personal questions.
JPL employees have until Friday to fill out forms authorizing the background checks. Those who don’t will be barred from JPL and be “voluntarily terminated” as of Oct. 27.
I also think that the injunction will be over-ruled on appeals. So now we need to sit back and watch the mass exodus of self-absorbed hippies march out of JPL when they refuse to comply with ID requirements. McDonalds is always hiring, but watch out! They are allowed to ask if you do drugs at the interview.
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Virginia Politician Goatse’s Her Opponent
Oct 1st
Jeannemarie Devolites Davis is a Republican running for re-election to the Virginia State Senate. She has the distinction of being the only female Republican in the Senate and she has a lot of great ideas, especially when it comes to widening I-66 inside the Beltway.

But Jeannemarie is also the only woman to ever publicly “Goatse” her opponent. This is a photo of the brochure that was mailed to my home. I was apalled when I saw the familiar fists and the wedding band, opening the gaping… Oh! Its a political ad! I really don’t know if Jeannemarie has just pwn3d Petersen or insulted me.

This is the Goatse Ad. Instead the red hole of death its a political statement. Yay.
Many of you know what Goatse is. Its Internet lore. If you don’t know what it is, do a Google search, but be warned! Its not safe for work, and heed the following safety image:

If you want to spare your retinas the shock and awe that is viewing Goatse, you can click this link and see someone else’s reaction to it. The 8 phases of Goatse.
I am willing to bet that Jeannemarie’s ad agency knew what it was too. So I sent her a letter to her campaign website here:
The ad flyers going around saying that Petersen “stretches the truth” depicting two hands grasping the edges of a board?
You know that the ad is a version of “goatse” don’t you? Did you pick this ad yourself or did your ad agency? The goatse is symbolic of the worst of the worst and is very disgusting, especially from a Republican.
I will be blogging this at belch.com/blog
You should google goatse and see what I mean and use more caution on who you hire to do your ads.
Don’t you just love an election year?
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Britney Loses Custody of K-Brats
Oct 1st
Britney had to give up the whole crop of K-Fruit today. She has been fired from Mommyhood.

From the AP here:
LOS ANGELES – Britney Spears was ordered Monday to surrender custody of her children to ex-husband Kevin Federline.
Superior Court Judge Scott M. Gordon ruled that Federline will take custody of Sean Preston, 2, and Jayden James, 1, beginning Wednesday “until further order of the court.”
Earlier this month, Gordon said Spears engaged in “habitual, frequent and continuous use of controlled substances and alcohol” and ordered her to undergo random drug and alcohol testing twice a week as part of her ongoing custody dispute with Federline.
Now the courts have to figure out a way to rescue the kids from K-Fed. Maybe they can award the K-Brats to Chris Crocker.

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BelchSpeak’s New Look
Oct 1st
One of the advantages of having two blogs is you can use one as a guinea pig. I have spent much of the past week tweaking the blog at Belch.Com. Now that it is configured the way I like, I have applied it to the BelchSpeak blog as well.

I have a few people to thank for the new look. First up is Wired Studios and their “Corvette” theme. They were also nice enough to help me tweak their CSS to fit my needs.
The banner background image is the collage on the wall of the Stations Inn, one of my favorite places.
The Get Recent Comments plugin shows the last commenters. It used to be at the sidebar on the right. Now its at the bottom of the page.
Mark Cunningham’s Search and Replace database editor plugin is a lifesaver. One of the hard things about switching themes is how blockquotes get handled. I had to rip out all of the <em> tags in order to get my previous posts to look right. If I didn’t have this tool, it would be a grueling task to do by hand.
Finally, thanks to Lester Chan for three plugins. His Page Navigation, his post ratings system and his most commented posts.
So tell me what you think. Like it? Hate it?
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October is Cyber Security Awareness Month
Oct 1st
The Department of Homeland Security’s National Cyber Security Division, partnered with the Multi-State Isac, has declared this month to be Cyber Security Awareness Month.

The goal is to get people thinking about how to protect themselves online. Often people think that protecting themselves is just that- protecting themselves and their own interests- their own data, their own identity and their own bank accounts. Often people forget that connecting a vulnerable system to the Internet could open an avenue for attackers and hackers to use your system to attack others. So by keeping yourself secure you also help secure the nation, one node at a time.
I will be writing some cyber-based articles with this goal in mind.
First up is Protecting Your Laptop. A healthy chunk of cyber-based articles I write comes about because of stolen laptops. There are strong-arm robbers in San Francisco in which thugs shove coffee drinkers to the ground to nab laptops. The government put millions of veterans at risk by allowing a laptop to be stolen that contained personal data. And many consultant groups have put their customers at risk by allowing laptops to get stolen that contain HR information, like the E&Y employee that left his laptop in his car, allowing Sun Microsystems’ Scott McNealy’s personal information to be exposed.

Even famous people get sloppy with their laptops. Francis Ford Coppola, director of the Godfather, left a script on a laptop that was stolen. He didn’t have backups, either. From the NYDaily News here:
Francis Ford Coppola was still working on the script for his upcoming film “Tetro,” but Buenos Aires thieves have already made it a hot property.
Armed robbers stole a laptop computer containing the “Godfather” director’s work on the screenplay after breaking into the Argentine headquarters of Zoetrope, his production company.
Noticias Argentinas, a local news agency, reported that at least 5 bandits raided the Zoetrope offices, tying up employees and making off with cameras and other computers.
“Tetro,” reportedly a semi-autobiographical tale of Italian immigrant artists in Buenos Aires, is set to begin filming next year starring Matt Dillon.
The 68-year-old director and 5-time Oscar winner pleaded for the return of the laptop, which he said was essential to his work.
Why make backups when you can “beg thieves” to return your data?
It can be simple to protect a laptop against physical theft:
- Don’t leave it in your car in plain sight. You wouldn’t leave a wad of twenties on the dashboard. To thieves, a laptop is the same thing.
- Don’t leave your laptop unattended in public places such as airports, bars, cafes and restaurants.
- If you leave your laptop at the office, lock it in a safe or chain it to the desk. Thieves like to take jobs as cleaning crew to harvest unattended laptops.
- Password protect your laptop. The operating system password can be easily cracked with a recovery disk. Make it so the laptop won’t turn on without a password by using the CMOS boot password option.
- If you process any private information, keep it encrypted. That way if it gets swiped the data shouldn’t be compromised.
- Backup your critical files on CD, DVD or external hard drive. In case of a crash or theft, your valuable files such as photos, music and that million-dollar movie script can be recovered.
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Reason 417 to Homeschool
Oct 1st
Racist teachers won’t put a noose around your child’s neck and make them carry shackles and chains in order to teach them about racism.

Some kids look scared. Teach them to spell, not how to have a lynching.
Alma J. Brown Elementary School students, aged 5 and 6 were marched around the playground by their teachers, carrying chains and shackles and had their necks placed in a noose in order to teach them to hate the white man. This was done under the guise of protesting the Jena 6 debacle.
Thanks to Sweetness and Light for the tip and the photos below:


Be sure to smile when you string up a 6-year-old.
From the NewsStar here:
A recent incident at the elementary school on the Grambling State University campus that resulted in a noose hanging around a small child’s neck has left university officials scrambling for answers.
Among the photos was one of a young girl in a school uniform, a noose around her neck, being hoisted by a woman who may have been a family member.In the photo, the girl, a student at Alma J. Brown Elementary School at Grambling, appears confused and frightened. GSU oversees the school. The child apparently was taking part in a school lesson related to events surrounding the Jena Six, criminal defendants in that Louisiana town who stand accused of beating a fellow student into unconsciousness.
The children marched in protest of the imprisonment of Mychal Bell, and the seemingly racial bias shown toward blacks in a small Louisiana town.” While the students “marched,” they actually only circled their playground with their teachers during the event.
“Before marching, the students were taught about racism,” LeGrande wrote. “They also learned about the events surrounding the ‘Jena Six’ and their arrest.”
According to the article, teachers “had a replica noose and explained why it is such a symbol of racism. They also allowed the children to carry chains and shackles.”
Next up the teachers will teach the students to fear the cops by tasering the kids.
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