This is Why Clowns Are Bad for Kids

There were always too many parents watching when Klutzo the Clown, aka Paul Carlock, would go to parties and church functions and make stupid balloon animals for the kids he desperately wanted to fondle. So he went overseas to the Phillipines as a “clown missionary” to fondle orphan kids and photograph them nude to feed his insidious kiddie porn addiction.

Here is Klutzo the Kiddie-Fondling Clown with his soon-to-be ex wife of Clowndom, Smilee.

Klutzo says, “You can have a balloon animal if you touch my wee wee.”

Klutzo Carlock was busted when he tried to come back to America from his orphan kid-touching field trip. Inspectors at the airport reviewed his digital camera photos and his laptop and saw the kiddie porn and software he was trying to use to hide his crimes.

During their investigation, they also found out that Carlock had enrolled himself in the Big Brother Big Sister program of Springfield and had given child pornography on a homemade DVD to a 6 year old. That is one funny clown!

The Smoking Gun has all the details here. The creepy homepage of this orphan-toucher, which includes little handprints as a background image is here. And in this article, the funniest thing about this clown is revealed when he announces in court that his clown wife filed for clown divorce.

Carlock told investigators that his children are grown and said in court Tuesday that his wife had filed for divorce earlier that day. Sangamon County court records verified that she did.

Maybe Klutzo can spend some time in PMITA prison trying to make balloon animals for the inmates. In prison, everyone loves a clown!