October 31, 2007
There was quite a bit of drinking going on aboard the Starship Enterprise. Every other episode featured someone smuggling Saurian Brandy or Romulan Ale. The whole breakdown of who was chugging what aboard the Enterprise can be found at Modern Drunkard’s Magazine here.
When a gang of super beings who’ve taken human form hijack the Enterprise, Kirk decides to undo them by appealing to their new-found human sensations. Kirk goes for the seduction (natch), McCoy employs his powers of irritation and Scotty brings into play his own special strength—he tries to drink one of them under the table.
“Lad, you’re gonna need something to wash that down with,” Scotty says, strolling over to where the alien Tomar eats. “Have you ever tried any Saurian brandy?” Tomar shakes his head no and they repair to Scotty’s quarters for an interspecies drink-off. They drink every bottle of brandy Scotty has on hand, which is saying something because Scotty was apparently stocked up for a very long drought. Tomar is hanging in there like an Irish uncle and Scotty decides it’s time to go for the big guns, dragging out his treasured bottle of Ganymede Scotch. Talk about self-sacrifice. Tomar inquires, “What is it?” All Scotty can squeeze out is, “Well, it’s . . . um . . . it’s green.” (Data would repeat the exact same line when he produced the bottle in the aforementioned encounter with Scotty.)
They tuck into the scotch and just before they polish it off Tomar takes a dive. Scotty, his job done, takes a little nap himself seconds later. Humans: 1 Super Aliens: 0.
Go to their site to enjoy the rest of this excellent article.
October 29, 2007
Beer was invented in the Middle East. Or maybe the ancient arabs conquered someone who knew how to brew it. But now the Middle East has almost completely banned the best thing it ever invented in the name of Islam. There is still beer to be had, but it has no alcohol. I’ve never tried it because really, beer without the alcohol? What’s the point? One of the most popular in Saudi Arabia is Moussy Beer.
And they have beer commercials too, but it mostly involves dudes dancing with each other because, well, chicks ain’t allowed out in public to mingle with men in Saudi Arabia.
Thanks to Stilletos In the Sand for the link to Moussy.
October 26, 2007
Wow, can this chick push some burps. This is Bel, a wonderful, delicate, and well-mannered lady from down under. That’s Australia, ya know. Anyways, watch as Bel burps and then apologizes for her behavior over and over. Its astonishing and hilarious.
October 26, 2007
This is plain bizarre. Its an elevator door (you have to see it on its side) and its burping. I wonder how many passengers it had to eat to give it such bad gas? Click the video to enjoy.
October 26, 2007
A rutto is not an Italian pasta dish, its “burp” in Italian. This is GiuvaXXX doing his best on a YouTube video. Click it and enjoy!
October 23, 2007
This is an oddly intriguing crossbreed of food here. Someone made their own pizza at home and used McDonald’s chicken nuggets, cheeseburgers and fries as toppings. It looks gross now, but it really begins to look tasty once it is smothered with mozzarella cheese and baked at 425 degrees for twenty minutes.
October 23, 2007
No, not the Mike Myers of Shrek fame. I’m talking about the Halloween Slasher Mike Myers. Just in time for Trick-or-Treaters!
October 22, 2007
Hardees has been in the news a lot this past week or so since they have introduced their Country Breakfast Burrito. It has 920 calories, 60 grams of tasty fat, and consists of a two-egg omelet filled with bacon, sausage, diced ham, cheddar cheese, hash browns and sausage gravy. It is pictured below.
All of the pansy ninnies out there are screaming that this is just too much fat, and some are even calling for government regulations on what fast food makers can serve to the public.
I call it pish posh. The public gets what the public wants and pays for. If it wants a 920 calorie breakfast burrito, it gets one. I would love to give it a try myself, but alas, there are no Hardees stores close to me.
And if you think that this is the worst thing ever to come in a flour tortilla, think again. Those gut-bombs that Chipotle cheerfully call a burrito often top over 1,400 calories, depending on what ingredients you pick.
In fact, my favorite Chipotle burrito has the wrap, rice, beans, steak, lettuce, corn salsa, cheese, fajita veggies and sour cream. What is the nutritional total?
|Chipotle Nutrition Facts
Serving Size: 1 Burrito
October 17, 2007
I have featued Aubrey on the site before and awarded her the Best of the Best tag. She is super talented and in this uncut video, she spends two minutes pumping out some of the loudest, thickest belches ever to escape from a Double-X Chromosome body. Enjoy.
October 12, 2007
The video quality is so poor on this I considered not posting it, but the sound shows that this teen girl with the world’s largest hoop ear rings can belch out her ABC’s. Click the video below to have a listen.
October 11, 2007
I mistakenly stumbled over to Cracked.Com’s site just after I ate lunch and read their article on the 6 Most Terrifying Foods in the World. You can go here and check it out, but you may never want to eat foreign food again.
Number 3 on this list was a bottle of wine called “Baby Mice Wine.”
Its a rice wine with about a dozen dead baby mice floating in it. And for a reason only Satan and some whacky Asians know, you can drink it.
From Cracked.Com here:
Baby mice wine is a traditional Chinese and Korean “health tonic,” which apparently tastes like raw gasoline. Little mice, eyes still closed, are plucked from the embrace of their loving mothers and stuffed (while still alive) into a bottle of rice wine. They are left to ferment while their parents wring their tiny mouse paws in despair, tears drooping sadly from the tips of their whiskers.
Wait, it gets worse …
Do you wince at the thought of swallowing a tequila worm? Imagine how you’d feel during a session on this bastard. Whoops, I swallowed a dead mouse! Whoops, there goes another one! Whoops, I just puked my entire body out of my nose!
Who are you going to find in America that’s OK with drinking dead fetus juice as a way to improve their own health? OK, other than lawyers.
I Googled it because Cracked is a satire and humor magazine and I just couldn’t believe such a thing exists. It does. Dear. God. No.
October 9, 2007
This is a big merger in the beer world. Miller and Coors are teaming up to become some sort of super-brewery.
From the AP here:
The makers of Coors and Miller Lite plan to combine their U.S. brewing operations in an effort to compete better against industry leader Anheuser-Busch.
The joint venture announced Tuesday will be known as MillerCoors and will have responsibility for selling brands including Miller Lite, Miller Genuine Draft, Coors, Coors Light and Molson Canadian in the U.S.
Anheuser-Busch Cos. accounts for about half of the U.S. market with brands such as Budweiser, Michelob and Bud Light.
SABMiller PLC will have a 58 percent economic interest in the venture and MolsonCoors Brewing Co. will own 42 percent of the new company. They will have equal voting interests, however.
Precise financial terms of the deal were not disclosed.
October 8, 2007
Ad executives really know how to get my attention. They line up monkeys to do a perfect Irish jig. I wonder how long it took to train those chimps to dance like that? Oh, and there’s something about a sandwich, I think.
October 5, 2007
You don’t want to be caught celebrating with your friends doing outmoded handshakes, high-fives or fist bumps. Get with the program and do the newest thing! From Bud Light, just click below to enjoy.
October 5, 2007
A really great commercial for Bud Light. Seriously, who would want to go to an opera without a beer? I’d smuggle a beer into church if I thought God woudln’t strike me dead. Click below to enjoy.
October 2, 2007
The movie Revenge of the Nerds gets better and better with age. This is of course, one of the best scenes in the movie not involving gratuitous nudity or drug use. Its the Belching Contest between Dudley “Booger” Dawson of the Tri-Lams and Ogre from the Alphas.
October 2, 2007
I actually missed Jenna’s videos the last time they were up on YouTube. But I went there and pulled them down because they are meaty and delicious. Click below to see Jenna’s belch videos and enjoy.
October 1, 2007
I stumbled on this over at Neatorama and had to share this. Koreans didn’t think that the corn dog was good enough, so they created a whole line of hot dogs coated in questionable foods, each of which gets deep fried.
French Fries, bacon, seaweed, fried chicken batter, you name it, Korean vendors have it on a stick.
Is this disgusting, or is it evil genius? The rest of the article on this food is over at The Last Appetite blog here.
September 28, 2007
Jones Soda is the overpriced soft drink soda maker from Seattle. They are famous for making drinks flavored with real life things you don’t want to drink- like turkey drumsticks. And green bean casserole. And pumpkin pie.
Now they are out with new drinks sure to show their outright hatred for their customers- Sweat, Turf and Dirt flavors.
From BusinessWeek here:
Ever wonder what the Seahawks’ locker room tastes like after a big game? Apparently, Jones Soda Co. thinks Seattle NFL fans want to know. The company started taking online pre-orders Thursday for a five-pack of sodas with flavors it says reflect the hard work of professional football players.
Clare Bowles, a spokeswoman for the Seattle-based company, said the four literally named flavors — Dirt, Sports Cream, Perspiration and Natural Field Turf — are “pretty lifelike.”
“Perspiration Soda is kind of salty tasting,” she said, with a slightly higher sodium content than the average soda, with a smooth, “stinky football sock” finish.
A sip of Sports Cream Soda conjures up the experience of rubbing ointment into an aching muscle, while Natural Field Turf Soda is like “playing tackle football, and you get tackled really hard, you’re down on the ground and you get a little bit of the grass in your teeth,” Bowles said.
The only sweet soda of the bunch, Sweet Victory, has a berry flavor.
Each bottle features the photo of a Seattle Seahawks player. Limited quantities of the five-pack will be sold in select stores starting Oct. 1.
In May, Jones Soda announced it won a five-year contract to sell nonalcoholic beverages at the Seahawks’ home stadium, Qwest Field, beating out The Coca-Cola Co.
I wonder if they have a “failure” flavor yet, because I’m pretty sure they might be tasting that.
September 28, 2007
I found this list over at BeerChurch here. You should click the logo below and go check them out and consider joining or forming your own BeerChurch chapter.
The list below really represents the best sales increase from 2005 to 2006. It is an indication of the best performance, not necessarily best taste. However, beer is indeed about the taste, which is why there is no surprise that one of my favorites, Blue Moon, is near the top. Red Stripe is also doing quite well.
For the Top 30 Beer Brand Performers ranking, IRI analyzed volume growth, share of segment trends, everyday base pricing, and incremental sales growth in 2006 versus 2005 to determine the brands with the strongest performance in the beer industry.
“The outstanding group of beer brands in this year’s top 30 ranking is a great representation of the big trends in 2006,” said Bump Williams, general manager, IRI Beer, Wine and Spirits Practice. “Consumers are definitely willing to pay premium price for their favorite brands, with 21 of the top 30 performers being high-end brands that include 14 imports, 6 craft brands, and one malternative.
Manufacturers are also meeting the ever-changing tastes of consumer demands with their new product innovations. The key now is getting the proper amount of shelf space and distribution in the right stores to support these power brands.”
Notables, such as Bud Light, Pabst Blue Ribbon and Coors Light are on the list, but the coveted No. 1 brand goes to import beer, Newcastle Brown Ale, brewed by Scottish and Newcastle Importers. Import beer brands have a very strong showing in the ranking this year with such brands as Modelo Especial, Stella Artois, Corona Light, Guinness Draught and Beck’s. Craft beers also remain popular with Samuel Adams Seasonal, New Belgium Fat Tire Amber Ale, Sierra Nevada Pale Ale and Shiner Bock among the brands making the list. Of course, domestic brands will never go out of style. Busch Light, Natural Light, Yuengling Traditional Lager and Steel Reserve High Gravity Lager remain strong brands.
The Top 30 Beer Brand Performers ranking is designed to highlight the brands that experienced significant year-over-year growth across total U.S. supermarkets in 2006. In addition to looking at volume and dollar sales, IRI also examined pricing, share growth and incremental volume and dollar contribution.
Rank Beer Brand
1 Newcastle Brown Ale
2 Modelo Especial
3 Samuel Adams Seasonal
4 Blue Moon Belgium White Ale
5 Stella Artois
6 Corona Light
7 Smirnoff Twisted V Variety Pack
8 Guinness Draught
9 Corona Extra
11 Red Stripe
12 Keystone Light
13 Dos Equis XX Special Lager
14 Negra Modelo
15 Busch Light
16 Yuengling Traditional Lager
17 New Belgium Fat Tire Amber Ale
18 Natural Light
19 Bud Light
20 Samuel Adams Boston Lager
22 Sierra Nevada Pale Ale
23 Shiner Bock
24 Widmer Hefeweizen
25 Steel Reserve High Gravity Lager
27 Saint Pauli Girl
28 Pabst Blue Ribbon
29 Coors Light
30 Guinness Extra Stout