Booze Cruise on the Enterprise

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There was quite a bit of drinking going on aboard the Starship Enterprise. Every other episode featured someone smuggling Saurian Brandy or Romulan Ale. The whole breakdown of who was chugging what aboard the Enterprise can be found at Modern Drunkard’s Magazine here.

One sample:

When a gang of super beings who’ve taken human form hijack the Enterprise, Kirk decides to undo them by appealing to their new-found human sensations. Kirk goes for the seduction (natch), McCoy employs his powers of irritation and Scotty brings into play his own special strength—he tries to drink one of them under the table.

“Lad, you’re gonna need something to wash that down with,” Scotty says, strolling over to where the alien Tomar eats. “Have you ever tried any Saurian brandy?” Tomar shakes his head no and they repair to Scotty’s quarters for an interspecies drink-off. They drink every bottle of brandy Scotty has on hand, which is saying something because Scotty was apparently stocked up for a very long drought. Tomar is hanging in there like an Irish uncle and Scotty decides it’s time to go for the big guns, dragging out his treasured bottle of Ganymede Scotch. Talk about self-sacrifice. Tomar inquires, “What is it?” All Scotty can squeeze out is, “Well, it’s . . . um . . . it’s green.” (Data would repeat the exact same line when he produced the bottle in the aforementioned encounter with Scotty.)

They tuck into the scotch and just before they polish it off Tomar takes a dive. Scotty, his job done, takes a little nap himself seconds later. Humans: 1 Super Aliens: 0.

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