The largest collection of digitally recorded belches on the Net®
Archive for February, 2006
Tom Cruise’s Celebrity Belch
Feb 26th
Tom has been very busy lately, and it is hard to get him to sit still long enough to have him record a belch for this site. Between getting ready for fatherhood and his time spent being High Priest Zangdar in the Church of Scientology, he has little time for the likes of me. So to get his belch, I told the Scientologists that I would buy ten copies of Dianetics and twenty E-Meters only on the condition that I got Tom’s burp on tape. They sent me the tape, the books and the gadgets, and a bill. Now I need to figure out how I can get out of paying that bill? Anyways, click on Tom’s photo to hear the burp.
(4 votes, average: 4.75 out of 6)
Loading ...Great Fanmail From a Welder’s Wife
Feb 26th
I received this gem from a cranky Nurse in Middleton NY. She writes to show her outrage that I insulted her husband’s occupation by calling welders stupid. Since it is an email, you have to read it from the bottom up.
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Dear stupid wife of stupid welder,
Your neck of the woods? You mean like middletown, NY?
http://maps.google.com/maps?oi=map&q=Middletown,+NY
Thanks for the invitation. But here’s some great news. Thanks to the Internet, my comments have already been to your suburbian area. Your husband did indeed show some foresight by marrying a health professional. There are good odds that he may need one some day since his job is so hazardous. But he is still stupid for doing that dangerous job.
Congradulations on getting the nice house. I’m sure your friends in the trailer park will miss you.
I base my opinion of welders being stupid because I have first hand knowledge of it and I have observed welders being stupid in their natural habitat.
I am certain there are welders in your area on worker’s compensation. If you really must know who they are try contacting your workers compensation board. http://www.wcb.state.ny.us
I am very gainfully employed, thanks for asking.
Why didnt you post this on my website? No worries, I will do it for you.
Thanks for visiting Belch.Com!
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From: katxanrn [mailto:katxanrn@mchsi.com]
Sent: Saturday, February 25, 2006 8:53 PM
To: pat@belch.com
Subject: Stupid Welders
I would love for you to come up to our neck of the woods with your comments about welders. My husband is a welder and I am a Registered Nurse. We are NOT stupid people and I found it offensive that you related all welders to be stupid, poor white trash. We live in a very nice house as do most of his welding buddies. I don’t know what you are basing your opinion on but I know of no welders here who are getting workman’s comp for something as lame as you are. Suck it up buddy and get a job!!!
Wife of a welder and loving it.
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...Early FanMail From the Old Site
Feb 25th
So, what do the visitors to Belch.com think of my lovely, life-enriching site on the World Wide Web? Well, I have decided to post some of the responses I have been saving over the past few months here on this very page. Please note, the text is presented verbatim as it came to me. My responses in blue, may not necessarily be the original response I had sent to the correspondent, but is more of a commentary to be presented here. Oh, just read on, you will get the picture…
From: Chris Kaufman
Subject: Awsome
I just heard of your web page a day ago and I said to my self,”Just another crap like web page” so I went and I saw the Chewbacca impression and I laughed my head off and now I’m going to your page day after day after day after… Well you get the point. My mom hates me now that I’m chugging down pop and making nasty belches. I made a good impression Jerry McGuire and If I do it again I’ll send it to you!
Chris
Believe it or not, I am quite pleased that you do not think my page is a “crap” web page, since, after all, most of the stuff out there on the net really is crap. Glad I could make you a fan.
From: Hoffard
Subject: Please! No more!!!!!!!
I just got your virtual Belch Christmas Card. My typing skills are on
their highest alert, and rightly so – the tears of hilarity have left me
blind and still shaking. When I get done with this, I intend to go back
and listen to it about another 387 times. Just as soon as I get my
composure.
Thanks for writing – and for all the wet marks on my keyboard.
Jeff
Well Jeff, I find it amazing that you received a virtual belching Christmas card from my site, because this site does not offer such services… yet. But I will be more than happy to take the credit for the joy and laughter that it brought you!
From: Dolphie28
Subject: Hamster belching
Hello. I just wanted to tell you that my hamster belches! His name is ‘Taco
Belch’ and when he belches, his cheekpouches inflate! Me and my older sister create loud, obnoxios belch-midis. We delete all the pauses between belches. It sounds really cute! She can even say things like ‘I’m gonna puke’ when she belches!
Dolphie,
If you could possibly get a little microphone next to your hamster’s mouth when he belches, by all means, send it to me because I would love to break new grounds by having a rodent burp on my website!
From: Al Drake
Subject: HAHAHAHAHAHA
Pat-
Oh my jesus… I have never laughed so hard in my entire life…. I almost pissed my pants and watching my nephew rolling on the floor only added to the mayhem!!!!! by the way my sister still isn’t talking to me…LOL!!!! too funny keep it up I’ll be back often..HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Al Drake
Al,
I am very sorry that this page has caused a rift between you and your sister. But at least you were able to convert your young nephew to the happy pleasures that is belching!
From: Zwak
Subject: GREAT PAGE!!!!
Goooood God!!!
This is the greatest page I’ve ever seen! I’m serious when I say that.
I’m so shocked that I actually stumbled across a page of this premier-type
caliber. You’ve do a great job in expressing the true art of the belch. I
wish you good luck in the future of this page, and may God have mercy on
your soul.
Keep up the great work,
Disco Stu
Thanks for the praise, Disco Stu! Yes, God does have mercy on my soul for spreading all the cheer that this site brings. (Yeah, right!)
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...Katie Holmes Celebrity Belch
Feb 24th
It wasn’t easy getting ahold of Katie to get her to record this belch. She is reported to be spending 8 hours per day in Scientology boot camp and other planning sessions in order to ensure that her future baby will inherit the L Ron Hubbard birthright when it is born. This sound was recorded by a hidden microphone in the small break room where they keep the Kool-Aid they use to wash down the thetan killing drugs.
Click Katie’s picture to hear it.
(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...“Save Yourself!” Another Great Bud Light Ad
Feb 11th
The superbowl featured the debut of this great ad which features two men on the run from a bear! Click the Picture to see the Ad. You will need the latest version of Quicktime to see it. Quicktime is available here.
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...Rudy Begonia’s Belcher Soda™
Feb 11th
I have never had the pleasure to try this drink, but any soda designed to elicit loud belches is fine in my book. Give Rudy Begonia’s Belcher Soda a try. The website also contains some mighty fine belches, so stop by and give them a listen!
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...Molly Johnson’s Belch
Feb 11th
So this is the deal, boys. To attempt to block the scores of requests for additional information about Molly Johnson, I requested that she send me her picture to allow me to post it on the net. She gladly accommodated me, and I received the photo in short order. No, I will not give out her email address, nor will I forward messages intended for her. I do not have her address and will not give it to anyone even if I did have it. Yes, she is beautiful, and she produces extremely loud belches. Just please, quit asking me for marriage proposals and home phone numbers.
Now that that is out of the way, without further ado, I present Molly Johnson’s Belching Photo Page. Click on the photo to hear her burp!
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...Rosie O’Donnell’s Celebrity Belch
Feb 11th
It was very surprising that Rosie had to time to email us this one, what with all the time she spends bashing the NRA, adopting children, and eating. She recorded this one after 45 minutes at the neighborhood Taco Bell. Click on the picture to hear it!
(3 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...What Are You Waiting For?
Feb 8th
I know you have checked out the site. So why not create a login for yourself and leave some feedback? Go ahead. I know you want to.
In the mean time, here is a classic belch by Jennifer finn. It sounds pretty strained. Email to Friend
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...Jennifer Finn’s Belching Page
Feb 8th
So this is the deal, boys. To attempt to block the scores of requests for additional information about Jennifer Finn, I requested that she send me her picture to allow me to post it on the net. She gladly accomodated me, and I received the photo in short order. No, I will not give out her email address, nor will I forward messages intended for her. I do not have her address and will not give it to anyone even if I did have it. Yes, she is beautiful, she was 22 when I originally made this page, and she is a belching goddess legend on the WWW. Just please, quit asking me for marriage proposals and home phone numbers.
Now that that is out of the way, without further ado, I present Jennifer Finn’s Belching Photo Page. Click on the photo to hear her burp!
(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...Chris Alderton’s Belch
Feb 8th
Here is a new belch by Chris Alderton. This is his first attempt, and its worthy to grace these pages. If you like it, login and provide feedback. Email to Friend
(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...New Cherry Soda is “Arousing”
Feb 7th
There is a new soda coming to market that is purported to be an aphrodiasiac. Of course its not, but with all of the caffeine and guarana in it, it should definitely keep you awake. From the Local6.Com Site:
A new soda promising to sexually arouse the person drinking it will soon be available in stores nationwide, according to a Local 6 News report.
The drink, called Turn On, is made with guarana, ginseng and caffeine.
The soda was banned in France and Denmark, but makers insist it is safe and works as an aphrodisiac.
People who have tested the soda said it tastes like cherry soda.
“We watched a film and then afterwards I felt like my senses were more like turned on, like I could feel more, I felt more on my skin,” a tester said.
Doctors have already warned that the drink is not for everyone. Children, pregnant women and people with high blood pressure and diabetes should avoid the drink, according to the report.
A warning label on the can claims, “This beverage will arouse you.”
Turn On is sold online for $3.50 a can and will soon be available in stores, the report said.
If anyone out there has spent $3.50 on it and has tried it, let me know how it was. And can you mix it with rum or vodka?
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...Brand New Belch for You
Feb 7th
This one, the “Liberty Belch” comes from Darral Alexander of the UK. He hopes it will make the cool list, but I don’t think its quite up to that level. Enjoy. Log in to comment. Email to Friend
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...Kathy Lee Gifford’s Celebrity Belch
Feb 7th
When not forcing children in foreign countries to make her Wal-Mart clothes, Kathie Lee spends much of her time raising her family and wishing she was still hosting a talk show. She is pictured above recording her (somewhat pitiful) belch. Click the picture to hear it.
(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...Magic Fridge Best SuperBowl Ad
Feb 6th
The Superbowl was not that memorable this year, except for the lousy officiating and the great ads. One of the Best was for Bud Light, which featured a magically appearing fridge in a Bachelor Pad.
Click on the Photo to see the Ad. You will need the latest Apple Quicktime Player. You can get that from here.
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...Jennifer Love Hewitt’s Celebrity Belch
Feb 4th
We have seen her act, and we have heard her songs. Now, for the first time, listen to Jennifer Love Hewitt belch! Click on the Photo to hear it.
(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...
